Oregonian (Oregonite? Oregonese?) woman Jen Moss is pissed because people just don’t understand her need to bicycle around topless and are prohibiting her from riding in the Fourth of July parade. According to the AP, Moss is known for riding her bike “free and independent of all clothing but a hemp G-string”. In fact, she’s known as “The Naked Lady”.
I get the naked part (let the girls get some air), but the hemp G-string sounds questionable at best. You know, back in the day aka 8th grade, I was quite good at making hemp necklaces with cool beads and whatnot. I gave them as gifts to my friends. Maybe now since our tastes have matured, I can make them all hemp G-strings with cute little beads! AHHH! But back to business.
The Ashland Chamber of Commerce is in a battle right now over this. In Moss’ application she said she wants to lead a group of rollerbladers in her hemp booty floss, “blowing a conch shell.” Blowing what wearing what? Errr… Whatev, she sounds like an inspirational leader (those rollerbladers are bound to follow her, along with every creepy man within 50 miles) and America is all about leadership!
Clearly she is a great patriot and loves America. Come on people, it’s the Fourth of July. It’s not like your children haven’t seen boobs before. Let Jen parade!
[Posted by Kathleen]