Tag Archives: house of representatives

things have been kinda crazy lately…

Here is a quick news round up.

  • So that bailout thing everyone was talking about?  Yeah it failed.  And people are screaming about Nancy P’s speech.  McCain and company are saying that’s the reason it failed.  Well.  If any congressman changed their vote because they got mad over of a speech from Nancy Pelosi then they lack the mental clarity to be in Congress.  End of story.   But Congress is going to keep working on this.  Hopefully.  But some good news?  The market shot up 200 points this morning.
  • OH MY GOD, THE SCIENTISTS SAW SNOW FALLING ON MARS.  Are aliens real?
  • Have you ever read about those creepy purity balls?  No?  Click here.  So basically, you go to a ball with your dad, sign a covenant with the big guy to be a good girl, and then your daddy signs something saying he’ll be your protector.  Ugh.  It tells the story of one girl who promised not to kiss until she got married. Wowie.  What if her husband is a face licker?  What if he’s a tongue strangler? Dumb.  The headline of the story? “Virginity Pledges Can Work For Some”.  HAHA.  Not most.  Moving on.
  • And finally, shana tova, Jewish friends!  Happy New Year!  Kind of unfair that you get to have two new years and then eight days of presents instead of one, but I’m over it.  In case you haven’t seen this, here is Sarah Silverman’s video asking Jewish kids to get their grandparents in Florida to vote for Obama.  Kind of hysterical.  Could be offensive.  It’s Sarah Silverman.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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richard simmons: sweatin’ to the congress?

Here is a delightful thought for your Thursday afternoon! Fitness master and supreme god of the tacky workout videos Richard Simmons alluded to his dreams of someday being a member of the US Congress. He’s already at the Capitol–today he testified to the House Education and Labor Committee about childhood obesity. Here is what went down. This, of course, comes from CNN’s Political Ticker.

In a half-serious, half-jocular tone, Simmons described his approach to the hearing, saying, “I want to have the respect of a congressman, I want to talk like a congressman, and maybe, someday, I’ll be a congressman.”

But you already have our respect RS! People don’t respect congressmen and women that much. In fact, they are the least liked branch of government! I bet more people watch your workout videos (god love them) than C-SPAN. Then, he cited Jesse Ventura as an example of celebrity-gone-politician. Just me, but if I was going to make a case for that, I don’t think I would use “The Body” as my example. Maybe Ronald Reagan? Whatev. He continued,

“After this congressional hearing, I will go home,” Simmons said, “I will talk with my Dalmatian dogs, I will pray to God and then I’ll see what else I can do to help.”

He would have dalmatians. And he would talk to them.

I personally think it would be kind of fun to have him in the House, as long as he’s right on with his policy and votes the way I want him to. Haha. I mean, this man has made millions of middle-aged people get off the couch and sweat to oldies, all while prancing around saying “I’m a pony! I’m a pony!” in short shorts. If elected, do you think he would wear a suit? The idea of Richard Simmons in anything other than shorts shorts just seems…unethical. That aside, just think of all the things he could inspire his fellow members of Congress to do! To prove how Richie can move mountains, I found a youtube video of his epic workout tapes, but somebody updated it and put it to the greatest song ever recorded–“Walk It Out” by DJ Unk. Haha. Anyway, enjoy. And in the great words of JFK, ask not what your country can do for you, but what Richard Simmons can do for your country.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under celebrities, politics, random, YouTube