Tag Archives: joe jonas

the hills returns! don’t judge me.

So I make fun of it all the time, but let me just say I feel as excited as this girl when she gets to sit next to steamy oh so dreamy Joe Jonas. Rawr. (I am OBSESSED with this picture, by the way. Haha.)

THE HILLS IS BACK, YA’LL! Why do I love this show? I really can’t explain it. Perhaps it sends me subliminal messages to make me think I am just as hot as they are or that my life is just as exciting…I don’t know. For the record, my life IS that exciting…right… But the fact remains that I follow their lives like it’s my job. And it’s pathetic. Moving on.

On this season premiere episode, we see just how boring Lo is and how badass Audrina can be. (“We will never be friends” SNNNNNAP! Five points to Gryffindor and Audrina!) Lo left Audrina’s birthday party at her own house to play with her dog upstairs for an hour. UM HELLO. There was a guy with a hot pink mohawk there–the party couldn’t have been that dull. Pink mohawks AND a pool. Why is that not my life?! WHY NOT MEEEEEE. I wonder if dye runs into the water when he swims. And poor Lauren, that girl is trying to hold it all together behind her bug-eyed sunglasses. I’m totally on team Lauren. But you won’t catch me dead or alive in a t-shirt that says so. They make t-shirts that say that and people buy them. I’m not making that up.

Justin Bobby is back in all of his creeptastic glory, and I must admit, he is weirdly sexy. Sexy ugly, perhaps. He’s the kind of guy that I would go out on one strained date with just so he could show me all the trendy L.A. jazz clubs or something weird like that, and then never answer his calls again but go to those clubs with my girlfriends from then on. Make sense?

Spencer, teevee’s least liked villain, is like the Debbie Downer of LIFE and not surprisingly still sucks. Heidi is still dumb, and has a marginally smarter sister on the show now too. Yippee, another cast member’s sibling trying to get airtime (cough Stephanie Pratt cough). If you missed this amazing 24 minutes of television goodness, have no fear–if it were possible MTV would put extra hours in the day just so they could replay the episode even more than they already are going to.

What happened to Heidi? That girl gets trashier looking every time we blink. Here is Heidi pre-rhinoplasty and boob job:

She was so pretty! But then she got kind of popular in her own right (add her to the list of celebrities that are famous for no reason) and went on this feminist rant of how she feels better about herself now that she got her nose and ta-tas done because people used to make fun of her. Heidi, people weren’t making fun of you because you had a big nose, they were making fun of you because you’re a RAGING IDIOT. But she wanted to look like L.A. Barbie.

Sick.

Here is a reason why I am on team Lauren. Lauren looked like L.A. Barbie when The Hills started (a.k.a she was 19 and trying to be hot) and has since matured and looks more natural. Classy, even.

See?

I told you I care too much. MTV you slay me.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under celebrities, crushes, pop culture, random, TV

youtube clip of today: granny fight!

Ladies PUHLEASE get yourselves under control! Oh man, I wish I knew what they were fighting about. Can anybody translate?! Maybe the lady in red stole the lady in blue’s man? Perhaps this was a Zac Efron vs. Joe Jonas debate gone awry? (Zefron, obviously wins. Hands down.)

Whatever, I love an underdog. And the lady in blue seems vicious. I’m on Team Red! But if this is a political fight we’re talking about, I’m on Team Blue. Get it? Because I’m a Democrat?! Okay, sowwwwwwy. Yeah, I’d hate me too. Enjoy.

{Posted by Kathleen]

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disney’s high school musical > camp rock

I love this blog. And when you really don’t have that much to do, it lends itself to be a perfect antidote to boredom. I try my best to stay informed by knowing everything I can about pop culture, politics, etc. (Not that I wouldn’t do that anyway…)

In fact, I am so dedicated to Six Words that I sacrificed two and a half hours of my life to watch Disney’s newest movie to jumpstart teenaged hormonal imbalance and lust in the preteen crowd: Camp Rock.

The Jonas Brothers are all this movie, but it’s Joe Jonas (the hottest, middle brother) that has an actual role. Poor Kevin Jonas has been Ike Hansoned-he only says dumb/sarcastic/funny lines and is completely aware of being the least bangable band member. Nick Jonas, I’d say how cute you are, but the fact that you were born in the 90s throws me off. Okay?

Jonas Brothers: FYI you all dress like a bunch of females, but it’s hot. It is, however, slightly disconcerting that my daily uniform of skinny jeans, flats, t-shirt, cardigan and a scarf is theirs as well. Except they look cooler. I get that. Whatev.

The plot, oddly enough, is strikingly similar to High School Musical-down to the quirky friend, bitchy blonde and Latina female protagonist. But HSM is way better. The music is better, the acting (can you even call it that?) is better, and dear god, even the plot is better. And hello, Zac Efron is in it.

My mother bravely accompanied me for about 15 minutes (as long as she could take) of this study of pop culture. During one scene where Joe Jonas is being an angsty boy with a guitar, my mother looked at me and said, “oh Kathleen, you would have LOVED him if you were 13.”

She’s right. I totally would have. And she would know, because she was right there with me during my teenyboppin’ years. For the record, I saw Britney (omg she totally lipsync’d the entire show), NSYNC (I like them so much more now than I did then, oddly enough) and the Backstreet Boys (Nick Carter, why didn’t you love me like I loved you?! You lost your chance with me. You are such a creeper now.) all within six months. I was a bubblegum nightmare.

But now, those are my bubblegum day dreams. (How poetic was that?) I am increasingly nostalgic for the days when glitter was okay to wear in public and I had Bath and Bodyworks’ entire collection. So my friends know that I often stray off the path of maturity (MUST…GET…JOB) and become unhealthily obsessed with what the youngins are in to. Like High School Musical. And I am not alone. Yeah, Walsh, I’m talking about you.

But I am not unhealthily obsessed with Camp Rock. It just doesn’t meet my pop gold standards. Joe Jonas is not worthy to even wash the feet of Zefron. I am looking forward to see how Disney markets this one. Perhaps JJonas and whatever that girl’s name is will start dating ala Zac and Vanessa? Can we expect naked pics and then a heartfelt apology and slap on the wrist from Disney? That would be complicated by the fact that the Jonas Brothers all wear purity rings. Ha! Scandalous!

But take my word for it, take those 2.5 glorious hours of your life and do something else. Like read this blog.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under celebrities, crushes, movies