Category Archives: the arts

nicolas cage is one creepy mofo.

If you know me or if you’ve read the About Us page, you should know that Nicolas Cage is on my list of people/things not to be trusted.  Why don’t I trust Nicolas Cage?  Because he gives me the heebie jeebies and I don’t even know what that means.  He’s a creepmaster creep to the extreme.

Upon learning my feelings for the Cage creep, my cousin Sean (heyyyyy cousin!) validated my sentiments by showing me one of the funniest youtube clips I have ever seen.  Why did it take me so long to post?  I don’t know.  But watch this, laugh, and then thank me for saving you the money you would have used to rent The Wickerman.  Now, I present to you, The Best Scenes from The Wickerman, featuring Nicolas Cage.

HAHAHAHHAHAHA.  Amazing.

“Killing me won’t bring back your goddamned honey!”

PRICELESS.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under celebrities, definitely not politics, family, humor, movies, pop culture, random, the arts, thoughts, YouTube

youtube clip of today: electric stimulus.

This is some of the craziest shit I have ever seen on the internet.  So it’s slow in the beginning, but hold on because things get wild after the one minute mark.  I am speechless.  Is this madness or genius?  Is it noise or music?  AHHHHH.  My brain is fried.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under blogging, definitely not politics, music, pop culture, random, technology, the arts, Uncategorized, YouTube

a tale of two outdoor concerts.

I love outdoor concerts. I love live music in general, and being outside listening to live music makes me feel like I’m actually sort of outdoorsy. I mean, there are bugs, and I’m sitting on the ground, right? 

This Labor Day weekend, I attended two truly American outdoor concerts, and I find the juxtaposition of these concerts to be very entertaining. On Sunday night, I went to the National Symphony Orchestra’s free concert on the Capitol lawn. The Capitol was behind us, the Washington Monument was in front of us, there was a ridiculously gorgeous sunset, and generally the entire event oozed classiness. Our view basically looked like this:

Of course, the only songs I really recognized were the suites they played from movies (um Harry Potter? AMAZING.), but still, it was classy. After the concert, we even went out for some classy glasses of wine at a classy restaurant AND took a cab home. I know, I’m an adult. (As long as you disregard the fact that we tried to bring wine into the concert and failed because they legit tear apart your bag looking for booze and weapons, so we had to hide the wine in the bushes. That wasn’t so classy.)

Unfortunately, my faux-maturity came to an end last night when I attended a Jimmy Buffet concert. You heard me. Jimmy Buffet. I know you’re jealous. Going into the concert, I anticipated dancing like a hippie alongside a bunch of people who looked like my parents. I wasn’t entirely off-base on that assumption, except instead of dancing next to a bunch of middle-aged white folks, I watched in horror as police tackled them to the ground and arrested them. I have never seen so many arrests in such a short period of time, and man, those cops were brutal! It was mostly entertaining/shocking to watch all of this stuff go down, but at one point I found myself alone right as a cop took down a fat guy in a Hawaiian shirt, and I nearly started crying I was so scared. My favorite fight, by far, involved two trashy women who started going at it right in front of us. One of them was holding a child and screamed “Can’t you see I have my baby here?!” right before she smacked the other woman in the face. That poor kid’s gonna have some issues.

On the whole, the Buffet concert was a hell of a lot of fun. I thoroughly enjoyed dancing around like a sweaty maniac to all of the songs I know by heart (har har), and for a dude who’s like 112, Jimmy sure puts on a good show. (Although we think he maaay have been lip syncing some of the songs…) 

I loved that everyone at the concert went all-out when it came to tailgating. We were proud of ourselves for having Margaritaville brand margarita mix, but some people brought sand, decorated their cars like sharks (fins to the left baby), had baby pools to lounge in during the tailgate, etc. One little girl even had a sign that said “I missed my first day of kindergarten to be here.” Again with the good parenting.

The costumes in general were absurd. I saw more bikini tops on people who shouldn’t have been wearing bikini tops and shirtless dudes who shouldn’t have been shirtless than I ever wanted to see, and I started to get jealous that I didn’t have a parrot on my head. My favorite costume was this younger couple that was totally decked out in pirate gear, and I told them how much I loved their outfits. Then later in the night when we needed our car jumped, THE SAME PIRATE COUPLE stopped to help us. How’s that for karma?!

While hopped up on margaritas and Jimmy Buffet, I made a startling observation: Jimmy Buffet and Joe Biden are twins who were separated at birth. (And they even have the same initials…dun dun dun.) See for yourselves: 

Right?!!

Now for your at-work enjoyment, take a listen to my favorite Jimmy Buffet song (and be sure to notice Jimmy’s mustache and the delightfully literal video): 

[Posted by Mallory]

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hmm… what ever happened to t.A.T.u.?

So I was driving in the car today when a certain song came on my iPod. This song has been stuck in my head ever since, and I want to lovingly pass it off to you because that might make me feel better.

You’re welcome. HA! (If you’re too chicken to watch the video, it’s “All the Things She Said” by T.A.T.U.) It’s almost as bad as that M.I.A. “Paper Planes” song. Just as I was getting “Paper Planes” out of my head from hearing it every day towards the end of senior year, they go and put it as the promo song for “The Pineapple Express”. Thanks a lot, marketing geniuses/jerks.

Anyway, where did t.A.T.u., the kind of hot Russian are-they-or-aren’t-they-lesbians go? That whole kissing girls thing was totally their gig. And they made quite a blip on the pop culture scene. Because let’s face it, we were prudier back in 2002 than we are now. Here is how I remember the girls:

Girls kissing isn’t my thing, but rawr.

So imagine my surprise when I came across this:

Whoops! The gig is up, apparently! But that is one ballsy chick. Power to her, she’s rocking that prego belly.

Wikipedia tells me that the girls have a CD coming out in September. So they’re still around. And that they never were lesbians. WHATEVER.

It’s a slow news day people, give me a break.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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bad writing can get you somewhere.

New Jersey correspondent Madeline has brought a delightful competition to my attention. Every year, San Jose State University holds its Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest–encouraging people to write their most painfully bad first line to an imaginary book. Why is it called Bulwer-Lytton, you ask? Because Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton (what a name!) is the literary mastermind behind the 1830 novel “Paul Clifford” that forever burdened us with “It was a dark and stormy night”. Thanks for that, Eddie. Let’s also thank this year’s winner, Garrison Spik, for his contribution to society:

Theirs was a New York love, a checkered taxi ride burning rubber, and like the city their passion was open 24/7, steam rising from their bodies like slick streets exhaling warm, moist, white breath through manhole covers stamped ‘Forged by DeLaney Bros., Piscataway, N.J.’

Haha, well done sir! You are a gentleman and a scholar. Here is another epic submission. This one comes from Beth Fand Incollingo:

Like a mechanic who forgets to wipe his hands on a shop rag and then goes home, hugs his wife, and gets a grease stain on her favorite sweater — love touches you, and marks you forever.

HAHA.

In my opinion, to win this competition you either have to be an incredibly corny and bad writer (read: a 13 year old girl…or boy) or a really good writer who knows bad writing (read: remembering your own writing when you were a 13 year old girl…or boy). And just for the record, Mr. Spik and Ms. Incollingo, I put you both in the good writer who knows bad writing category.

Feel free to comment with your best/worst first lines. No prizes, just the SWTCTW glory of being witty. Now I’m going to go reread my old journals in search for literary gems of my own.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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i love me some hemingways (plural).

A hearty SWTCTW congratulations to Floridian Tom Grizzard, who won this year’s prestigious Ernest Hemingway look-alike contest in Key West. It’s his eighth time competing. Eighth time’s the charm, buddy! He beat out 141 other Ernests for his prize, which is–well, come to think of it, it’s not stated in the article. But I’m sure it’s AWESOME. Maybe it’s the baller medallion hanging from his noble neck?  Where can I get me one of those?

And I thought this picture of all the Ernests was fantastic. So much passion! Got me all fired up!

But besides applauding Tom Grizzard for his innate, genetic inclination towards resembling a Nobel prize winning author, I wanted to post some quotes from our friend Ernest.

  • “Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.”
  • “As you get older it is harder to have heroes, but it is sort of necessary.”
  • “Never think that war, no matter how necessary, nor how justified, is not a crime.”
  • “There are events which are so great that if a writer has participated in them his obligation is to write truly rather than assume the presumption of altering them with invention.”
  • “The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.”

Okay, that’s enough. Enjoy.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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a little something for your weekend.

Unfortunately, I won’t be blogging much this weekend. But to get you through, I have compiled a list of links that I most likely would have blogged about or find interesting enough to share, and you’ll have to use your imagination to think of what Mal and/or I would say about them.

This story about siblings torn apart by the Holocaust and being reunited after 66 years made me cry more than watching the video of Christian the Lion. No jokes and nothing snarky to say–there is good in this world.

Here is an interesting piece on Wall-E. The first negative thing I’ve read and it brings up some valid points. Still haven’t seen the movie though. What do you think?

People are over medicated, and our dogs are next. Here is a piece from the NYT Magazine. Since I’m not going to, make all the jokes you want. Make me proud.

There’s going to be a DC version of “The Hills”. I’m pissed, because I wanted to be in it. My idea for a show title was just “The Hill”. Clever, I know. Ha. Shockingly, they went for more party oriented than political party oriented girls…

I love baby names, and I might give someone a candy bar or something to let me name their child. But give up a gas card? HELL NO. Have you seen the price of gas? This story is so wrong on so many levels. I LOVE IT. These people are nutso. Maybe I should do something like this. I bet I could come up with something better than Sunday Rose. Ugh.

And finally, a slideshow of supermodels then and now. Claudia Schiffer is still pretty hot. And girl don’t even get me started on Tyra.

Dunzo. Enjoy. Comment. Have adventures. Miss me. XOXO.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under blogging, celebrities, definitely not politics, family, fashion, movies, news, politics, random, the arts, the hill, TV

not so subtle, eh, lilly mcelroy?

Oprah also told me about a 28-year-old performance artist named Lilly McElroy who likes to do things like lie on the ground and take pictures of herself, hug strangers, and throw herself at men (literally). Now lying on the ground in public places is kinda dirty and odd, and I must admit I’ve always wanted to give away free hugs to strangers, but throwing yourself at unsuspecting men? That’s the most fascinating. McElroy describes it as “an unabashed attempt to make a connection.” Um, sure. Once the shocked stranger catches her (as he hopefully does), then what? “Um, hi! I’m Lilly. Thanks for catching me, and have a wonderful day.”

You can look at a couple of other photos of flying Lilly on her website, but this photo pretty much sums it up:

interesante

Happy performing, Lilly.

[Posted by Mallory]

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so, read any good books lately?

Librarians are sexy

Most people who know me are aware of the fact that buried under my fun, outgoing, beautiful, generally perfect exterior is the heart of a raging nerd. When given the opportunity, this nerd can go full force. (Most of my friends are like this, too, so I’m in good company.) In the summertime, when I have a lot more free time than I do during the school year, reading (second, perhaps, to drinking outside) is my favorite pastime. Maybe because I just finished a book that I absolutely loved, I feel like telling you people about some of my favorite books so far this summer. I’m adding my own cry-meter ranking for each of these books, because, while Kathleen medically can’t produce tears (seriously), I am gifted with the ability to cry at anything. I happen to think that it’s a good thing for a book to be so good that it brings me to tears. Some of my more notable cries: during an episode of Dancing with the Stars, when all the Spice Girls were there to cheer on Ginger Spice; during an episode of Lizzie McGuire; while watching the end of a marathon (with completely able-bodied runners, mind you); through the entirety of P.S. I Love You; etc. I once even fell asleep for all of Armageddon, then woke up during the sad part and immediately began sobbing. The point is, I cry a lot (I have an overactive heart, right Madeline?), so in honor of that I will be ranking these on a scale of one to five Christians (as in the lion, not the religious group; one being wet eyes and five being audible, full-body sobs). Here we go:

Water for Elephants, by Sara Gruen — Even though I prefer my Sarah’s with an h, I’ll allow this particular Sara. I finished this book last night, so of course it’s currently my favorite. In a few words, it’s about a circus. In a few more words, it’s about a great love story, an old man you’ll absolutely adore, an elephant that makes you wish that somehow you could actually have an elephant for a pet, and more. It’s a great read…not an insanely quick one, but not one you have to force yourself to get through. [4 Christians]

Infidel, by Ayaan Hirsi Ali This is a pretty intense read, but it’s well worth your while. I’m fascinated by Muslim culture, so I’m a huge fan of books that deal with the topic (i.e. Nine Parts Desire, by Geraldine Brooks, and The Kite Runner and A Thousand Splendid Sunsby Khaled Hosseini…you may have heard of him). The book is the true story of the author’s life, from growing up in a strict Muslim family in Africa to escaping to the Netherlands and becoming a member of their parliament. Her writing is somewhat journalistic, but her stories are larger than life. It’s interesting to see Ayaan’s transition from a devout Muslim to a non-believer, and her reasoning behind that transition. An excellent, thought-provoking novel. [2 Christians]

The Secret Life of Bees, by Sue Monk KiddLent to me by my friend Annie, this is one of those books that I’ve been wanting to read for a long time, and I’m glad I finally got around to it. It tells the story of a young girl growing up in South Carolina in 1964 who, with her black nanny, Rosaleen, escapes from her abusive father and is taken in by three black sisters. The young girl, Lily, learns all about beekeeping, and starts to learn more about her mother, who died when she was young. Because of the setting, this book reminds me of To Kill a Mockingbird. [2 Christians]

Firefly Lane, by Kristin Hannah— This sizable novel traces the lives of two best friends, Kate and Tully, through middle school, college, careers, and family life. It’s a really fast read, and — I think — a must read for any girl who’s pondered the career v. family dilemma. Great book for lounging poolside. [5 Christians]

Nineteen Minutes, by Jodi PicoultI finally broke down an read a Jodi Picoult book. I resisted partly because I was being a book snob, but after my sister told me about the plot of this one, I decided to give it a shot. Picoult is a great, easy-to-read writer, and I loved this story about a school shooting in a small town in New Hampshire. It tells the story from a variety of perspectives, and I was impressed that Picoult makes you consider every character’s perspective. You’ll close the book empathizing with all of the characters, and you’ll think twice about the way our society handles school shootings. [4 Christians]

So uh, thanks for humoring my inner book critic. If you decide to take some of my recommendations, enjoy, and let me know what you think!

[Posted by Mallory]

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cyd, i wanted to be you.

Not to get too serious, but I wanted to take a break from politics to comment on the passing of Hollywood dancer Cyd Charisse today. Singin’ in the Rain is one of my all-time favorite movies, and she is one of my all-time favorite dancers. Old movie musicals are not everyone’s thing, (my roommate informed me of this quite frequently when she’d come home to find me sitting in the room alone, in pajamas and glasses, eating a tub of frosting and watching one) but talent is talent, and it must be recognized. She was known for her impeccable grace, elegant movements and top notch legs. I can remember watching her in movies and just wishing I could be that good. Come to think of it, she may have been my first girl crush.

And not to sound like my grandma reminiscing about the old days, but we don’t have the same appreciation for the arts as we used to. When Lil’ Mama (of America’s Best Dance Crew) is seen as a legitimate dancer and one deemed to judge other dancers, we might have a problem.

Cyd, thanks for the inspiration. I’ll close with a great quote from Fred Astaire:

“That Cyd — when you’ve danced with her, you stay danced with.”

Watch her elegance in this one:

Watch her legs (so jealous) in this one:

[Posted by Kathleen]

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