by | January 7, 2010 · 10:46 am

kate gosselin has a new hairdo!

Holy hairdo! Kate Gosselin’s got a new ‘do, and it’s…pretty:

Right? I mean, it’s all extensions, which freaks me out, but it’s DECIDEDLY better than the last styles she was rockin’. Apparently Kate also has a new man to go along with her long hair. Go Kate!, I think.

I’m still somewhat torn about all of this. It has been well-documented that I have lurved J&K+8 for a while now, to the point of delusion about their “perfect” relationship (ahem), but I can’t help but think that they REALLY were happy for a while there. At this point I feel bad for everyone involved, because I don’t think either Jon or Kate went into this with any malicious goals (or aspirations to ruin their own lives) in mind. It seems more realistic that their celebrity surprised them and then got out of control, as tends to happen with, oh, every celebrity.

There will always be a soft spot in my heart for the Jon and Kate crew, especially as long as the kids continue to look like this:

[Posted by Mallory]

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by | January 5, 2010 · 2:22 pm

we are eating pepper and chips!

Hello, 2010! A lot of bloggers I know (okay, bloggers whose blogs I read whom I feel like I know even though I totally don’t) have been doing recaps of their years and reminiscing on all that happened, etc. etc. Things like that are really hard for me. Seriously. I have problems with nostalgia. I don’t look at old photos often because then I end up spending hours and hours and hours looking at them and feeling emo and yearning for old times and wondering where the time went and then I probably cry. So don’t expect a recap from me. Unless I find myself with hours and hours and hours of time and an excellent emo soundtrack and wine.

All that said, YAY for a new decade. How crazy is that? I’m not one to go gaga over NYE, but it’s frightening to think how long it’s been since 1999. In 1999 I celebrated New Year’s with my parents and I’m pretty sure I was wearing an unironically hideous wool sweater from The Gap. This year, I celebrated with more than a few cocktails (and cocktail weenies) and about 22 of my favorite people in the Poconos. It was amazing, and I have the beer stains on my pajama pants to prove it.

In honor of the new decade, I have to repost one of the greatest things created between 2000 and 2009. Ladies and gentlemen, Kittens Inspired by Kittens (posted first by Kathleen back in April 2009):

Never. Gets. Old.

(Side note: While attempting to watch that video because, like I said, it never gets old, my computer turned itself off. That happens to me sometimes while I’m watching YouTube videos or Netflix movies. Can someone who’s good at computers MAKE IT STOP?! Please?)

My friend Mouse (along with Ewok, owner of the following cat, and Barbie) did a few recreations of the video, and it’s one of the 14 billion reasons that I adore them:

We are in Hawaii!

We are eating pepper and chips!

We are wiiiine bottles!

Double head!

I'm at work!

Wrestling!

As long as things like this and friends like this stay around, I think the next decade will be faaaantastic.

[Posted by Mallory]

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by | January 5, 2010 · 1:40 am

now taking suggestions for decade nickname.

Cheers to 2010!  I was pondering today what the nickname for the newest decade would be when I realized something…no one ever came up with a nickname for the past 1o years.  Sure, the ’80s, ’90s, etc. kind of wrote themselves, but how is it possible that not one of the six billion of us could think of something to call ’00-’09 collectively?  Come on people.  Lets do better for the next 10.

On another (much more embarrassing) note, I shamefully admit that I was, yet again, sucked into The Bachelor’s premiere episode tonight.  The Bachelor is now on its 14th season, not counting The (far superior) Bachelorette seasons.  New Bachelor Jake was surprisingly less douchy than he was last year, but the majority of the 25 female contestants put all women to shame.  Who watches this garbage?  Oh yeah, me.

can you feel my rolling eyes?

This season promises to have just as much ABC Network-induced drama and fake-by-the-railing emotional breakdowns as any other season, so I’ll probably DVR every episode.  Especially because the gossip is a contestant and one of the show’s producers were having an affair while taping was going on.  Not even The Bachelor producers take this show seriously!

And one last thing, because Jake is a pilot – the title of this season is “The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love.”  ABC, FIRE your writers.

[Posted by Shannon]

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by | December 28, 2009 · 11:26 am

a quick post from the airport.

Mornin’, world! I’m waiting at my gate ready to head to Philly to stay with my favorite Korean correspondent and her family! While there, I will witness the baptizing of a few demons (yes, that’s right), drink at cheap bars in the suburbs, and eat way too much food. Guest Blogger SWTCTW Shan will be there for a bit, and if you’re lucky, we’ll work in a joint post among all the tomfoolery.

I just went through security, and things were fine — the line goes quickly when you’re, um, reading Texts from Last Night on your phone. But while waiting, I saw an interesting sign that was supposed to be recognizing one of the TSA guys for his hard work. The sign talked about how this guy speaks Turkish, German, and Italian fluently, and to that I say “IMPRESSIVE!” After that, the sign commended this guy for his security screening skills, which were exemplified when he spotted a loaded firearm in the x-ray machine. Now, that’s great. Really. I’d prefer to not have any loaded firearms on my flight. But isn’t that the most basic and essential aspect of his job? Shouldn’t we EXPECT the security dudes to be able to spot LOADED FIREARMS on the security belt? I’m not even a trained TSA official, and I think I might be able to catch that. It might be more commendable — and worthy of a sign — if, say, the employee had spotted two tiny containers of liquid that could be mixed together to blow up a plane. Or something.

I’ll catch you on the East Coast, yippee!

[Posted by Mallory]

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by | December 26, 2009 · 2:29 pm

it’s that tired old advice again…

My family and I saw Up in the Air on Christmas day, and I love-love-loved it. It was funny but poignant, and everyone in it was phenomenal. (How is George Clooney STILL so god damned attractive?) The music in the film was also great, and this song is one of my favorites:

Sad Brad Smith, I dig you.

Another favorite — which prompted me to freeze as I was walking out and stand motionless listening to the song (while crying, of course) as the credits rolled — was submitted to Director Jason Reitman by a regular guy who’d just lost his job:

Unfortunately, neither of these songs will be eligible for the Oscar for Best Original Song for reasons described here, but kudos to Brad Smith, Kevin Renick, and Jason Reitman for their brilliant work.

Now go see the movie.

[Posted by Mallory]

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by | December 24, 2009 · 1:06 pm

dreaming of a white christmas, y’all.

Merry Christmas Eve to all of you celebrating! I’m pretty thrilled because it looks like it’s going to be a white Christmas here in Colorado, and I can’t remember the last time we got so lucky. I hope your Christmas Eves are full of family, friends, and Patron, like mine will be! A few videos to celebrate…

Because this makes me laugh:

And for all of you with some snow this year, and because Otis Redding is the shiznat:

Definitely DO NOT think about the fact that Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins broke up. Get it out of your head. It’s not real. Reese and Ryan and Brad and Jen will eventually get back together too.

Have a good one, kids!

[Posted by Mallory]

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by | December 23, 2009 · 7:31 pm

today is a google holiday, hooray!

It’s also a Google Holiday…what fun!

Google Holiday: Happy Holidays from Google! (So meta, eh, E.Lee?)

What I was Googling: what does (for more Google predictor fun, of course)

[Posted by Mallory]

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by | December 23, 2009 · 7:15 pm

do babies poop in the womb?

My sister and I were watching this show about multiples on TLC, and as we were watching, she turned to me and asked, “Do babies cry in the womb?” And…I didn’t know. I mean, I don’t know anything about babies! Maybe they cry and we can’t hear them because it’s muffled by the womb? Maybe this is a totally stupid question?

Obviously, to try to figure out the answer to this burning question, we Googled it. But first, we let “do babies” sit there in the search box so we could see what the average person asks about babies. And oh dear god, I haven’t laughed this hard in a while:

I can’t even pick my favorite. Are there REALLY that many people out there wondering if babies have kneecaps?! (And as funny as I find these questions, I can’t definitively answer many of them…)

UPDATE: Babies DO cry in the womb! (This is from a website called BabyCenter, and it seems legit):

Yup. MSNBC did a cool medical in depth a few years ago on what a fetus does while gestating. All of the doctors in the study agreed that there is ultrasound proof of late term fetus “crying” as a result of being startled. Of course there is no sound (as noise is produced by air moving across the vocal chords), but what they are doing is crying, complete with gulps and chin quivering. Pretty damn cool.

[Posted by Mallory]

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by | December 23, 2009 · 1:53 pm

anyone need a last-minute holiday gift?

Folks, I’m not just here to regale you with tales of my own awkwardness; I’m here to help YOU. In the spirit of the season, I want to share with you what I think is the perfect holiday gift for anyone still left on your list. I present the Ed Hardy Hair Dryer:

C’mon, can you think of a better way to start your morning than blow-drying your freshly gelled locks with this beauty? I didn’t think so. And at the sale price of $99.95 (!!!), how can you resist?

You’re welcome.

[Posted by Mallory]

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by | December 23, 2009 · 1:25 pm

just six words and a picture.

Happy Holidays from the SWTCTW family!!

[Posted by Shannon]

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