Tag Archives: chuck bass

let’s see that torso fro, baby.

Upon stalking the internet in search of mindlessness to keep you busy at work (my job is hard, okay?!), I came across a story on TheDailyBeast about the return of chest hair.  I quickly skimmed the story, because I couldn’t justify spending my endless hours of free time actually reading about chest hair.  Okay, so maybe I did read most of it.  And let’s face it, I’ve written about hairy men before.  This stand out quote is stellar :

In these troubled times of war and craptastic financial news, are we yearning once again for leading manly men with comfortingly warm pelts in which to hide our anxious faces?

Haha.  Two things.  First, I cannot accept that craptastic is a word.  Second, does the writer have a legitimate point, as tongue in cheek as it is?

I actually just had a discussion about chest hair with our Argentina correspondent a few days ago over an ice cream.  Her feeling was that it’s unnecessary and gross. I feel that if you have too much of it, you are obligated to manscape.  I  also think it’s more of a personal preference thing than an indirect result of the failed Bush Administration and its policies of war and deregulation.  But hell, I blame Bush for nearly everything.  Why not this too?  Unless, of course, you think it’s a good thing.

But back to the story.  Along with the commentary, the writer provided a visual aid.  Click HERE for the slide show of chest hair.  And OMFG, Chuck Bass has chest hair?!  RAWR.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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tuesday afternoon’s snarky gossip girl analysis.

In just a few days, my dear partner Kathleen will be jetting off to South America to trek around the continent in ugly shoes. While she’s gone, we will have a surprise guest blogger take her place. (This probably isn’t a surprise to anyone who cares, but whatever; let us pretend we are important and have guest bloggers like Dooce does.)

This mystery guest blogger and I typically, um, BBM during Gossip Girl each Monday night. For those of you unfortunate souls who still have Razors, and those of you elitists who have iPhones, BBM stands for BlackBerry Messenger, which is Spanish for “The biggest time suck invented since G-Chat.” Unfortunately, last night this mystery guest blogger and I did not get to communicate during the episode, so she sent me an email with her thoughts. Yes, we are aware that we are both pathetic. And no, we don’t care. And yes, candy corn is only 13 cents a bag today at CVS.

Here are our mystery guest blogger’s insightful thoughts about last night’s episode of your favorite guilty pleasure:

I finally watched GG (fuck you, Verizon DVR) and thought I would share some of the thoughts I had with you since we couldn’t bbm: 
 
Aaron?  What’s your name?  Doesn’t matter: creepster.org  (that’s not real link–don’t click it)
 
Times Square?  Right, because downtown hipsters LOVE Times Square.
 
“Plenty of women have been both lover and muse, like Picasso.”  Serena, gramatically you just called Picasso a woman.  And you would use his name since it’s the only artist you’ve ever heard of.  En revanche, Blair’s writers hit it out of the park with their whole cubism line.
 
Dan–you suck at playing it cool.  Way to throw your dad under the bus, asshole.
 
Spotted: lame-o product placement.  Although I’m craving Vitamin Water already.  I hear it goes great with vomit . . .
 
“I’m 18 and it’s a grown-up party.”  PERFECT.  That is exactly what a 17-year-old would say.
 
Yeah, S.  You’re uncomfortable having your picture taken.  I totally believe it.
 
Dan–crack the story?  Kill the story?  Where did you pick up that lingo?
 
“You have a glow, like Chinese lanterns.”  Oh, Dorota. 
 
I heart Blair’s lip color.  And her skin is GLOWING!  How does she make it do that?
 
Um, that huge Construction Work Thug’s e-mail address is LoveLace?  I don’t think so.
 
I want to be on this show just so I can have all of this lingerie.  Because . . . it would look so good on me.
 
Aw, Blair.  Watching her introduce Dorota to Cindy Lauper brought a tear to my eye.  
 
5.19.91.  Dan would use such a lame title
 
HOLY SHIT.  Chuck Bass was born in 1991?!?!
 
“I don’t know how it works in High School . . .”  Excuse me, Aaron but you have three facial hairs.  Shut up.
 
Oh NO!  Rufus is singing!  . . . 3 words.
 
Jenny is wearing Rosary beads as a necklace.  NOT COOL.
 
Don’t die, Bart Bass.  Don’t die!
 
Serena always wanted to live in the 60s?  Right. 

And for more, check out this article by nymag.com.

Somehow, endlessly mocking Gossip Girl seems to make it more acceptable that I watch it. No?

[Posted by Mallory/MYSTERY BLOGGER PERSON]

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and now you’ve ruined my pants.

I have a confession to make: I sort of love Blair and Chuck together. I often hate them on their own, but when they get together and tell each other to just “say those three little words,” those two evil Upper East Siders sort of melt my heart. I know. I’m embarrassed too.

Also, what the hell are you doing Little J? Whoring around with that model and the sketchball photographer? How do you go from innocent 15-year-old to black-eyeliner-wearing whore sexpot with bangs in ONE WEEK? Oh, that’s right. This is Gossip Girl. Plotlines can be inconsistent and absurd, and I’ll still watch. At least Nate’s still beautiful:

And now, because they’ve added a little poll feature to my blogging toolbox, let’s try a poll:

[Posted by Mallory]

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dan humphrey is hot, the end.

Because I have a vagina (just like Sarah Palin!), I watch Gossip Girl. Whatever, we’re addicted to this kind of mindless crap here at SWTCTW. My roommate Sarah and I have been catching up with the new season via iTunes, and today we actually watched an episode in real time. I know, we’re impressive. 

Now, it’s not like I expect Gossip Girl to blow my mind with intelligent plots and complex characters, but last season was delightfully scandalous and trashy and fun to watch, while this season is shaping up to be a glorified soap opera. I mean, they included a citywide blackout as part of the plot. As my roomie said, “Oh, right. Because those are SO COMMON.” Basically Chuck is starting to drive me nuts, as is Serena and her inappropriate outfits and inability to act. On the other hand, I’m sort of into the Nate/Vanessa subplot because they would produce the most beautiful offspring EVER. Oh, and also…did Dan not get WAY hotter?

Major emo alert on this next one…

Dan/Penn, call me. We’ll be tortured and emo together. I’m totally into that these days.

You know you love me.

[Posted by Mallory]

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omfg, gossip girl is back. xoxo.

So I quasi-live blogged the show with the hottest cast EVER, quasi-not.

Quick thoughts:

Croquet, pastels and cocktails.  It’s GG.  And it’s on crack–and by crack I mean the Hamptons.  Thirty seconds in and these crazy kids are already getting it on!  God I missed this show.  Rawr.  WHY WAS I NOT THAT HOT AT 16? Or 17.  Or 18.  Or 19…this is getting depressing.  Whatever.

Oooh Dunkin’ Donuts product placement on Rufus’ tour bus.  My New England trained eye could spot a DD logo anywhere.

Drama with Blair and “Chuck Basstard” about a pin. What is this? 1950? LAME.

Speaking of Chuck.  I think they’ve taken this “I’m Chuck Bass” thing a little too far.  Taking good characters from the first time around and putting them on steroids for all subsequent appearances is a common mistake.  I like to call it the Stifler Syndrome.  In the first American Pie movie, Stifler was absurd yet oddly believable.  And kind of funny.  I mean, he does get peed on.  With each AP movie, (AP 2, American Wedding) he became a caricature of himself and utterly obnoxious.  He is practically the star of American Wedding.  Teevee God (aka script writers and producers) help us.  I WANT OLD CHUCK BACK.

Let’s take a second to acknowledge Serena’s hair at the White Party.  She looked like a goddess, for sure.  But the hair was so over the top.  It looked like golden snakes wound in with the Jessica Simpson and Ken Paves lovechild hair extensions.  Her hair = a hot tranny mess.  Despite having hair of the Medusa persuasion, Blake Lively is stunning and I want to be her. (Blake and Penn–never ever ever ever break up.  Ya’ll are the new Seth and Summer/Adam and Rachel.  Don’t fail us like they did.)

I have a friend who believes Blair Waldorf is his soulmate.  Best of luck to you, friend, because a) she’s not real and b) this bitch is back in full force.  (Is it just me or did she look like she got into a nasty brawl with a spray tan booth?  Ummm Blair it was the White Party, not the Orange and White party.) And dating a British lord who pretended to be an American that went to Princeton so that people liked him for his pretentious, rich American elitist self and not his pretentious, rich British elitist self?  My mind is blown.  First of all, this makes me yearn for the days when Prince William was still a dreamboat (sigh).  But really, GG?  You’re going to give us all false hopes that this tomfoolery actually happens?  And that a British Lord wants me to like him for him and not just his title?  Disney already ruined me.  This might break me.

As Kristen Bell’s voice familiarly closed the episode with “You know you love me.  XOXO, Gossip Girl”, I have to say, I don’t think I did love this Gossip Girl.  The scripts were never good, but this was dreadful.  I love me some bad teevee shows and my expectations are wayyyyyy lower than they should be, but I at least expect the dialogue to be tolerable at best.

But the clothes were amazing.  And I’ll still watch next week.  Mission accomplished.

On another note, I am obsessed with the song played in the opening scene.  It is my new favorite summer/end of summer (wahhhhhhh) song and I am embarrassed.  I am embarrassed because one half of the band, Shwayze, is Mischa Barton’s ex-bf.  Remember Cisco Adler?  Yup.  Now he can be known for something other than looking like the younger brother of Weird Al and being the former lovah of the worst character on the OC and a Keds spokeswoman.  Basically this song is the 2008 version of LFO’s “Summer Girls”.  Stop judging me, jerks.

You know you love me.  XOXO,  Kathleen.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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