Tag Archives: umbrella

poetry, lost umbrellas, and nice strangers.


Don't bother sending compliments. I already know I'm a phenomenal artist.

Wanna hear some random thoughts I have? Great!

  • A good way to pace yourself when eating is to eat something that’s both absurdly spicy and absurdly (temperature) hot. It’s also a good way to make your mouth hurt like shit.
  • So remember the overpriced umbrella I bought from Anthropologie because I didn’t have a functioning one and I was having a bad day and dammit I needed a cute umbrella? Well, yeah, I lost that one in a bar the day after I bought it. I bought ANOTHER cute, overpriced umbrella from The Gap the other day and after three days of use, I left it in a cab. And today I discovered that I lost my water bottle somewhere between all of the millions of places I went on Tuesday. Now, these are all small things in the grand scheme of things, but REALLY? Is it REALLY necessary for me to lose 140 things in a row? No one likes to lose things, but when I lose something it stresses me out to the point that I can’t think about anything else until 1) I cain’t think about it no mo’ or 2) I replace the thing I bought. But see, I can’t buy another umbrella, because then I will just lose it. (And no, the DC Cab Commission has not found my umbrella, nor has anyone on Craigslist. What are these services FOR, if not helping me find my umbrella?!!)
  • Today as I was leaving swim practice and feeling all tired and parched because I didn’t have any water to drink because I lost my water bottle, I was talking on the phone with ex-roomie Miss Potter. Then a gust of wind blew by and flipped my umbrella (the cheap plain-colored one that I have to use in emergencies) inside out. I was carrying a large bag and attempting to hold my cell phone to my ear and the wind was still blowing, so flipping the umbrella back to its natural state was proving, er, difficult. And then — AND THEN — a kind stranger (probably a drunk college boy) flipped it back for me! How nice was that? I mean, okay, maybe he’s not Mother Teresa, but that made me rull happy. There are good people in the world. I just wish one of those good people would find my umbrella. And my water bottle. Sigh.
  • Officemate E.Lee sent me this video this morning and (if you can believe it), it made me cry.
  • Officemate E.Lee’s boyfriend is officiating his best friend’s wedding this weekend, and he is going to read his favorite poem at the wedding. This is the poem, and I lurve it:

Poem to Old Friends Who Have Never Met

When I’m not wishing I could find a unicorn
I wish all our old friends knew each other
The very least they deserve
is the pleasure of each other’s company

We’d go down by the river
and the rocks would hum
with this rich collection of men & women
They would look around and see themselves
no longer isolated

no longer points in the darkness pointing nowhere

but as links in a magnificent chain of
impossible flowers
girdling the world and their talk
(they are all talkers)
would burst like spray in the sunlight

and I would smile
saying nothing
with a bottle of beer in my hand
and a small white bird banging in my heart

By Peter Meinke
From The Contracted World (University of Pittsburgh Press, 2006)

That’s enough random thoughts for now. I know I missed the Veterans Day Google Holiday yesterday (and all of the Sesame Street ones after the Big Bird one), but yay for all of those!

[Posted by Mallory]


Filed under adventures, music, random, thoughts

repent, katy perry! hellfire’s gonna suck.

Katy Perry kissed a girl, and she liked it! That song is as catchy as “Umbrella” and as tacky as, well, “Umbrella”. I was going to post about how it may be the song of the summer, but upon reading Gawker, I found out some interesting gossip on Katy Perry…or should I say Katy Hudson? GASP! Way more interesting than what I originally had in mind!

Katy Hudson, Katy Perry’s former self, was a Christian rock singer. That’s right, CHRISTIAN rock. Oh sweet irony, you publicity whore! Here is my favorite aspect about the whole thing- she was interviewed by Seventeen Magazine (the magazine for all those under the age of 17 and who wish they were 17. When you are 17, you read Cosmo, duh.) and said some amazing about everyone’s favorite topic–sex.

Katy has a steady boyfriend, but she doesn’t believe in sex before marriage. “I know what it does to people,” she says. “One night my boyfriend and I went a little too far and I felt like I’d fallen so far away from God. I doubted myself and my strength. I was so weak at the time in my relationship with Christ.”

Jesus, Mary and Joseph, that sounds almost as bad as my Catholic guilt! Katy’s steady boyfriend now, by the way, is the lead singer from Gym Class Heroes. I wonder if he feels the same way? He did just give her a promise ring. Please note that a promise ring is not the same as a purity ring, which the Jonas Brothers all wear. Ha, oh Katy! If you repent now, you still could be saved!

Being the good little journalist that I am, I decided to not rely solely on Gawker’s reporting, but do some internet stalking/research of my own. My adventures led me into the world of Christian chat forums (eeeeek!) and even took me to the Web site of the 700 Club (ugggh, I feel dirty and repulsed). Here is what I found though. The Christians are pissed. Sweet, innocent Katy Hudson is now a slootbag! They are disappointed and praying for her. This pastor’s daughter (just like Jessica Simpson! But I bet Katy’s dad doesn’t stare at her boobs) has lost her way. Now, she’s drinking, kissing girls and hanging out with the gays! AHHH!

I feel so torn. My rebellious side wants to applaud her for having a personality and breaking free of the ridiculousness, and the other self-righteous part wants to shun her for being so fake. Dammit, Katy, why do you have to leave us all in purgatory?

Here is Katy before (bland):

Here is Katy now (rawr!):

I Kissed a Girl

Ur So Gay

[Posted by Kathleen]


Filed under celebrities, definitely not politics, music, sex, Uncategorized