Monthly Archives: November 2009

the flyest kid on the block.

On my walk to the metro this morning, I spotted a tall, slighty scruffy-faced boy wearing low-top Chucks with nice work pants and pulling it off. I decided right then and there that I wanted to marry him, so I gave him a good stare, just so he knew. Then — in my head, obviously — I had a conversation with him about what music we were both listening to. Do you ever do that? Imagine someone striking up a conversation about what you’re listening to? I do it a lot, and my hypothetical level of coolness fluctuates wildly from day to day. Some days I’m all “Ooh, I HOPE someone asks me today so I can tell them I’m listening to Cloud Cult, which means I’m alternative and cool.” Other days, I think I should probably be ready to scroll back a few songs in case someone pops the question. “Taylor Swift, haha, silly iTunes Shuffle. What was before that? Oh, Coldplay, um, and before that? ‘Aaron’s Party (Come Get It)’? Where did that come from??*” And then I’d awkwardly laugh and walk away.

Not that anyone’s ever actually stopped and asked me what I’m listening to. Sigh.

In other news, on Monday I went out to happy hour and realized that I left my ID at work. The waiter was being strict but luckily, I only lived two blocks away and was able to run home (bitterly, of course) to get my passport. This morning I found my ID buried in the pocket in my wallet where it’s supposed to be, juuust deep enough that it looked like the pocket was empty. Son of a bitch.

Also. You know how when you were little, you were told that if you put the plastic rings that hold pop cans (or “soda” cans, as the kids say) together directly into the trash/recycle bin, the dolphins would strangle themselves in the holes and die? Is that true? Because I totally still cut every individual hole and think about all the dolphins I’m saving.

*I’m kidding here, of course. If I ever found a man who loved “Aaron’s Party” as much as I do, I’d propose on the spot.

[Posted by Mallory]

3 Comments

Filed under adventures, animals, celebrities, crushes, music, random, thoughts

youtube video of today: free hugs.

Because we watched this video in one of my classes and it was so happy/sad that I had to try really hard to not cry too noticeably:

One Christmas Eve, my mom was boarding an airplane, and the guy taking tickets hugged every single person as they got on the plane. Strangely, not a single person resisted or seemed to think it was weird, and everyone was a little happier after that. Sometimes, I just really love people, don’t you?

[Posted by Mallory]

4 Comments

Filed under adventures, random, YouTube

poetry, lost umbrellas, and nice strangers.

umbrella

Don't bother sending compliments. I already know I'm a phenomenal artist.


Wanna hear some random thoughts I have? Great!

  • A good way to pace yourself when eating is to eat something that’s both absurdly spicy and absurdly (temperature) hot. It’s also a good way to make your mouth hurt like shit.
  • So remember the overpriced umbrella I bought from Anthropologie because I didn’t have a functioning one and I was having a bad day and dammit I needed a cute umbrella? Well, yeah, I lost that one in a bar the day after I bought it. I bought ANOTHER cute, overpriced umbrella from The Gap the other day and after three days of use, I left it in a cab. And today I discovered that I lost my water bottle somewhere between all of the millions of places I went on Tuesday. Now, these are all small things in the grand scheme of things, but REALLY? Is it REALLY necessary for me to lose 140 things in a row? No one likes to lose things, but when I lose something it stresses me out to the point that I can’t think about anything else until 1) I cain’t think about it no mo’ or 2) I replace the thing I bought. But see, I can’t buy another umbrella, because then I will just lose it. (And no, the DC Cab Commission has not found my umbrella, nor has anyone on Craigslist. What are these services FOR, if not helping me find my umbrella?!!)
  • Today as I was leaving swim practice and feeling all tired and parched because I didn’t have any water to drink because I lost my water bottle, I was talking on the phone with ex-roomie Miss Potter. Then a gust of wind blew by and flipped my umbrella (the cheap plain-colored one that I have to use in emergencies) inside out. I was carrying a large bag and attempting to hold my cell phone to my ear and the wind was still blowing, so flipping the umbrella back to its natural state was proving, er, difficult. And then — AND THEN — a kind stranger (probably a drunk college boy) flipped it back for me! How nice was that? I mean, okay, maybe he’s not Mother Teresa, but that made me rull happy. There are good people in the world. I just wish one of those good people would find my umbrella. And my water bottle. Sigh.
  • Officemate E.Lee sent me this video this morning and (if you can believe it), it made me cry.
  • Officemate E.Lee’s boyfriend is officiating his best friend’s wedding this weekend, and he is going to read his favorite poem at the wedding. This is the poem, and I lurve it:

Poem to Old Friends Who Have Never Met

When I’m not wishing I could find a unicorn
I wish all our old friends knew each other
The very least they deserve
is the pleasure of each other’s company

We’d go down by the river
and the rocks would hum
with this rich collection of men & women
They would look around and see themselves
no longer isolated

no longer points in the darkness pointing nowhere

but as links in a magnificent chain of
impossible flowers
girdling the world and their talk
(they are all talkers)
would burst like spray in the sunlight

and I would smile
saying nothing
with a bottle of beer in my hand
and a small white bird banging in my heart

By Peter Meinke
From The Contracted World (University of Pittsburgh Press, 2006)

That’s enough random thoughts for now. I know I missed the Veterans Day Google Holiday yesterday (and all of the Sesame Street ones after the Big Bird one), but yay for all of those!

[Posted by Mallory]

3 Comments

Filed under adventures, music, random, thoughts

boston train almost hits drunken woman.

This video is just plain terrifying.  The completely plastered woman in the video stumbles off a Boston train platform and falls onto the tracks.  Being too drunk to process that she is in extreme danger, she just lies there.  Passerbys on the platform wave frantically to the incoming train, because the conductor can’t see that the woman has fallen.  The conductor can tell something is seriously wrong and puts the brakes on early.  The train stops literally on top of the woman, but miraculously doesn’t hit her.

When interviewed, the train conductor said she didn’t do anything heroic – just that she followed emergency procedure.  While she couldn’t tell exactly what was wrong, she sensed it was something serious by the way the people on the platform were attempting to signal her and how they were standing so far beyond the yellow line.  I wonder if this brush with death will inspire drunk lady to lay off the sauce.

[Posted by Shannon]

Leave a comment

Filed under news, random, technology, weird, YouTube

beards and live music. hi, heaven.

I’m the kind of person who doesn’t like to watch a movie more than once (in my lifetime), unless I really like it. Movies that I’ve actually watched and enjoyed multiple times include Good Will Hunting, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, The Lizzie McGuire Movie…you know, the classics. Then this one time, back over a winter break in college when all I had to do was lie on my couch at home and get yelled at for eating too many pretzels (as opposed to now, when I go home for winter break and get yelled at for eating too many pretzels AND using too much profanity on my blog), I rented a movie called Once. I probably intended to watch it with my mom, and she probably fell asleep reading a magazine four minutes into the credits. The next day, when everyone was “at work,” and I was, you know, “figuring out what I wanted to do with my life,” I watched Once. And then I watched it again. And then I watched it a third time, this time with actor commentary.

As someone who doesn’t like to watch movies more than once, this was HUGE. I mean I watched the thing three times in a row! And it’s sort of kind of a musical, which is even huger because I almost always hate musicals! I promptly emailed all of my friends and insisted that they see this movie immediately.

Long story short, I really love Once, and the movie made me love Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova. Tonight, I finally got to see them in concert, and they were spectacular, which is to say that both the performance and Glen’s beard were top notch. I mean, who doesn’t love a great ginger beard?

glen hansard

Exactly.

Anyway, tonight was lovely and I got to dress like a faux hipster (though SOME of my friends claim that maybe I looked like a full hipster, if one were to assume that my flowery J.Crew headband was ironic) and you guys should listen to this, because they played it well tonight:

To quote the Clancy Brothers, goodnight and joy be with you all.

[Posted by Mallory]

Leave a comment

Filed under movies, music, pop culture

finally, an artist that is cool.

I’ll be honest – I hate art.  Most of it makes zero sense to me and I believe that it makes zero sense to everyone…they just want to be pseudo-intellectual by saying how “deep” and “meaningful” the art is.   Really, the artist responsible is laughing at how gullible regular people are.  Yes, laughing at you, pseudo-intellectual.  Kind of like Scientology.

I can barely think back on all the art I saw in Europe without wanting to hyperventilate.  Not because it was memorable, but because I was in the Uffizi Gallery in Florence crying because there was NO way to get out of the endless hallways.  Literally no exit for 1,930,239,048,392,080,438,920,849,302 of the SAME painting.  The painting of the SAME ugly woman with the SAME ugly, naked baby.   Gross.

renaissance-art-04

Ew.

This artist (Kevin Van Aelst) makes art that is interesting from real life things.  And I like that.

Heart-thumb

apple globe-thumb

Here’s his website.

*Sidenote:  This commentary is a knock on art, not religion.

[Posted by Shannon]

5 Comments

Filed under babies, blogging, history, pictures, the arts, thoughts

today is a google holiday, hooray!

Picture 2

Today’s Google Holiday: 40th Anniversary of Sesame Street. What a fun one, right?! My two tipsters were both all “AHHH such a cute Google Holiday today!” And it is a cute Google Holiday! Big Bird, people! Who was your favorite Sesame Street character? Mine was Snuffaluffagus:

snuff

Though my mom claims my favorite was Grover:

grover

But come on, what do moms know?

Also, speaking of Sesame Street, several of my friends — including Worthless Guest Blogger Shannon — worked as the characters at Sesame Street in high school. As in they wore things like full Elmo costumes and danced around. True story.

What I was Googling: IPPE

I have lots of other things to write about, but Top Chef is on soon. Let’s just say I had a bizarro day, which has culminated in my drinking red wine and (you guessed it!) wearing my flannel nightgown.

[Posted by Mallory]

3 Comments

Filed under history, news, pop culture