My sister showed me this video last night, and I sat silent beside her as I watched the entire thing. When it was over, she turned to me and said, “What, so you didn’t think it was funny?!” And frankly, people, this thing is just too awkward for laughter. Or any reaction at all. Except ohdeargod I feel uncomfortable. See for yourselves:
[Posted by Mallory]
The guy next to me at the gym was eating a muffin while he rode the stationary bike. Can’t let those calories escape without a fight! And speaking of muffins, I once read on another blog that muffins are for people who don’t have the balls to eat cake for breakfast. I like that.
[Posted by Mallory]
Remember how being home is simply lovely and wonderful? Well, I forgot that I get really bored when I don’t have 1,000 things to do. And that I don’t have, um, that many friends left in Denver (KELSEY COME HOME). And my parents just left me to go to a swanky cult-tastic party and have left me at home alone. I helped my mom get ready, like I’m 11 and waiting for the babysitter. I swear guys, I’m not usually this lame. Really.
In the meantime, I need to tell you some things. First, you should begin reading the following two blogs:
Besides these blogs, the only thing that’s pulling me out of this fuck-I’m-lame funk is that Jersey Shore is on tonight. And I have never seen Jersey Shore. I’ve only read about it on 2birds1blog. Miss Meg McBlogger’s recraps have left me dying to watch, and the heavens smiled down upon me and noticed my boredom and offered up the golden gift of this horrible show! At least something is right in the world.
[Posted by Mallory]
So everybody, guess what? I am officially finished with my second-to-last semester of school ever. (At least, let’s hope it’s for forever.) I am also back in Colorado for the next two weeks, which feels simply wonderful. I suppose I should savor this, because from what I hear, the Real World doesn’t just hand out monthlong winter breaks. Sigh.
Now that I’m at home, I’m doing my best to not launch full-on into lounge mode quiteeee yet. This means that I exercised this morning (!!!), showered, BLOW DRIED MY HAIR, and even put on a bra. The bra might be buried under a few layers of pajamas, but it’s all about the little victories, people.
In honor of not launching into full-on lounge mode, I have decided to set a resolution for myself: I am going to (try to?) post on this here blog every day while I am at home. Hold me to it! The blog has suffered with the onset of a second year of grad school, and that’s not fair to you guys.
Speaking of the blog, I’m working on getting things a little more organized around here. Like, say, posting more regularly in general and rounding up our crew of posters in a more organized way. Details to come on that.
But enough of the housekeeping issues. (Ed Note: It took me like five minutes to think of the phrase “housekeeping issues.”) Can we talk for a minute about Tiger Woods? Because I’m at home, I have had the pleasure of watching a lil daytime teevee today, and that included a trashy show about celebrities called The Insider. On The Insider, they said that it’s been confirmed that Tiger Woods has dallied about with at least 14 mistresses. And to that I say both, “Really, Tiger? Your wife is HOT.” And also, “Can we please stop talking about this now?” I was as interested as the next guy at the beginning of all this — and if you’ve been living under a rock, check out Shan’s original post about Tigergate — but I’m a little over it now. (Though it is incredibly ironic and noteworthy that he’s just been named AP male athlete of the year.) Sure, the dude made a lot of mistakes, but I feel like we are practically stooping to his level if we continue to focus on this. It’s kind of why I didn’t want to post about the Salahis. It’s a different situation, but at a certain point we become part of the problem by feeding into this bullshit.
Tangent (as though these posts are anything but a series of tangents): I just took a break from writing to focus on Bonnie Hunt interviewing Mary Louise Parker, and Mary Louise Parker was talking about adopting a baby and I began sobbing. SHOCKER!
In non-frustrating, non-crying news, watch this video. It combines two of my favorite things: adorable children and Taylor Swift. SOLD!:
Oh my god, right? When I was at the airport last night, I thought I saw this little girl and got SUPER excited for a second. It wasn’t her.
That’s it for today, kids. See you tomorrow!
[Posted by Mallory]
Filed under blogging, celebrities, music, pop culture, sports, TV, YouTube
Sorry for the hiatus ladies and gents. I actually started a new job this week (yay!) so thats the reason for my absence.
My absolute favorite season is coming up and it’s not Christmas. The awards season is upon us! The Golden Globe nominations came out today and the Awards are on Sunday, January 17. Soon after, we’ll see who’s up for the Oscars (on March 7, fyi).
I personally love the Golden Globes for a few reasons. First off, the Golden Globes are wayyy more laid-back that the Oscars, i.e., comedies and musicals actually have a shot to win (mostly because they have their own separate category). Secondly, tv shows are awarded too and the variety tends to be better. Lastly (and most importantly) booze is served! Who doesn’t love watching trashed stars act completely inappropriately in formal wear?
I’ll let you read through most of the nominee list yourself, but my boy George and crew got the most nods for “Up in the Air.” Here’s the trailer if you’re living under a rock and haven’t seen it yet.
I can’t remember the last time I was so excited for so many movies that come out around the holidays. It’s Complicated, The Blind Side, Precious, Invictus, and Nine, they all look so good. Except Avatar, which I can’t take seriously in ANY way. Also, it’s not Titanic 2..so THAT’S disappointing.
James Cameron, make this movie, I DARE YOU!
[Posted by Shannon]
Filed under celebrities, crushes, movies, news, pop culture, the arts, TV, YouTube
Now, here is a serious tragedy. Kellogg has reported that there will be a shortage of Eggo waffles until next summer. Two of the four plants that mass-produce the waffles are shut down for the time-being. The largest “bakery” in Rossville, Tennessee is closed indefinitely for repairs and the other in Atlanta was shut down because of an unprecedented amount of rain from a September storm.
If all else fails, we could all cut holes in cardboard and throw them in the toaster. I bet we couldn’t tell the difference.
[Posted by Shannon]
It’s that time of the year, folks! The time of the year when you have 14,000 things to do because you’re in grad school and you’re bitter because all you want to do is gorge on cookies and listen to Christmas music. So as a subsitute, you eat whatever free food is given to you, and stand in front of Five Guys for long periods of time because you can hear their Christmas music from outside the restaurant. (No, that didn’t happen. Except one time, maybe it did.)
It’s also the time of year that, apparently, my office goes CAH-razy for the holidays. We have at least three full-size Christmas trees on my floor alone (not to mention the intense lobby decorations), and this morning I walked by the office of a co-worker who appears to have scotch-taped a Christmas dish towel to his door. Also, our office party begins at 11:30. In the morning. And lasts all day. Happy Holidays indeed.
So have you guys heard Lady Gaga’s new “Christmas” song? I’ve heard it once. It goes like this:
Now, I hadn’t heard that song at the time that a stranger sent me the following lyrics via Gchat:
Light me up put me on top lets
Fa la la la la la la la la
Ho ho ho
Under the miseltoe
Yes everybody knows
We will take off our clothes
Yes if you want us to we will (huh) you
Ho ho christmas
My christmas tree is delicious
He was one of those automatic people that got added to my Gchat even though I don’t know him at all (you Gmailers know how that works), and he sent me that awkwardness. And that made me smile, because normally I do the awkward things around here.
UPDATE: My officemate tells me that this isn’t Lady Gaga, and she’s obsessed with Lady Gaga, so I kind of believe her. I feel like a sucker. Can anyone clarify?? Either way, that story is still awkward OKAY?
UPDATE THE SECOND: Wait, maybe it is real?
In conclusion. I know that I make a lot of jokes on this blog, but I’m about to get serious. I really and truly need someone to buy me this for Christmas. In return, I will give you my eternal love and adoration, along with a piping hot cup of coffee (or tea!) and a damn good breakfast sandwich. (Seriously. Not a joke. I’ll send you my mailing address.)
[Posted by Mallory]
Today’s Google Holiday: What would have been the 115th birthday of E.C. Segar, the creator of Popeye. Anyone ever been to Chester, Illinois? That’s where E.C. — or lil Elzie, as I’d prefer to call him — was born and raised. Chester residents love them some Popeye, and to prove it, statues of various characters from the cartoon are taking over:
In 1977, Segar’s hometown of Chester, Illinois honored its native son with a park named in his honor. The park is home to a six-foot-tall bronze statue of Popeye, and since 1980 has been the site of the annual Popeye Picnic, a weekend-long event that celebrates the character with a parade, film festival and other activities. In 2006, Chester launched the ambitious “Popeye & Friends Character Trail,” which links a series of statues of Segar’s characters located throughout town. Each stands on a base inscribed with the names of donors who contributed to its cost, and is unveiled and dedicated during the Popeye Picnic. The 2006 debut sculpture of hamburger-loving Wimpy stands in Gazebo Park. A statue of Olive Oyl, Swee’Pea and the Jeep, located downtown near the Randolph County Courthouse, followed in 2007. In 2008, a Bluto statue was dedicated at the corner of Swanwick and W. Holmes Streets, in front of Buena Vista Bank. The 2009 statue of Castor Oyl and Bernice the Whiffle Hen stands in front of Chester Memorial Hospital. An additional 11 statues will be unveiled at the rate of one per year until 2019, when a bust of Segar at his birthplace will mark the cartoonist’s 125th birthday. To keep the slate on schedule, one year will feature two dedications, with the Sea Hag as the “wild card.”
What I was Googling: lucas welch liza chambers
Now go eat some spinach and raise a glass to lil Elzie.
[Posted by Mallory]
Filed under food, random, technology, TV
More music! I’ve been loving this song (and this band, Fanfarlo) lately. They even have a trumpet, and that’s cool. They’re going to be playing right outside of DC this Friday but I can’t go, WAH! The video concept is a little wackadoodle, but who am I to judge?:
Hope everyone had a fabulous weekend!
[Posted by Mallory]
I’m disappointed that this year’s holiday iPod commercials don’t have a song for me to get addicted to. Same for the GAP ads. So this year’s top contender for best song in a commercial is (drum roll): the Palm Pixi!
I don’t know why, but I love it.
[Posted by Shannon]
Filed under music, pop culture, technology, TV, YouTube
six words to change the world. 
