Category Archives: music

kanye west is short and mean.

APTOPIX MTV Video Music Awards Show

I have a proposal. Let’s find an island, and we can put the following people on it and leave them there until the end of time: Heidi, Spencer, and Stephanie Pratt, Nicholas Cage, Ann Coulter, and Kanye West.

I doubt I’m breaking this news to anyone, but last night at MTV’s VMAs, Kanye West proved once and for all that he is a raging douchebag. My roommate and I watched the beginning of the VMAs last night, and I was feeling good about them. I actually felt some sympathy for Michael Jackson and enjoyed the tribute to him (slightly making up for my previous apathy), and Taylor Swift managed to win the award for Best Female Video, even though the rooms and I were sure it would be Lady Gaga or Beyonce. T. Swift was adorable and gracious accepting her award, and then Kanye West ruined it by coming onstage, taking the microphone out of her hands, and saying “Taylor, I’m really happy for you, and I’m gonna let you finish, but Beyoncé had one of the best videos of all time.”

And it was awkward. Rull rull awkward. T. Swift just stood there, Beyonce looked mortified, and MTV awkwardly cut to one of the awkward skits with Eminem and Tracy Morgan. AWKWARD AWKWARD AWKWARD.

It’s no secret that I love me some Taylor Swift, but no matter what you think of her, you’ve got to admit: that was pretty lame of Kanye. MTV allegedly asked him to leave, and he was booed anytime his name was mentioned later in the night. The bootylicious Beyonce saved the day, though, when she won the Video of the Year award and invited T. Swift back onstage to have her moment. As Fox News (look! I sometimes read things besides the NYT) puts it:

Beyonce’s hit “Single Ladies” eventually got all it deserved by taking on the big one – Video of the Year. The ever-classy Knowles dedicated her time to Swift and had the emotional teen idol return to the stage for the opportunity to give her acceptance without any interruption.

Moral of the story: everybody hates Kanye West and everyone loves Beyonce and Taylor Swift even more than they did before.

UPDATE: Okay, I have a few more thoughts after reading this Daily Beast article in which Choire Sicha tries to defend Kanye. (He also tries to make the Kanye/Taylor incident a race issue, which seems to me to be a blatant attempt to create some controversy. This was so not a race thing.) But Sicha’s article did make me think (I can’t type a sentence like that without feeling like Carrie Bradshaw, ha). I started to think that we as a pop-culture-loving society are being a leetle ridiculous getting so riled up about this. And maybe that’s true to some extent. Maybe the magnitude of the world’s reaction to Kanye’s rudeness is somewhat over-the-top, but I think the overall sentiment is valid. Taylor Swift is a rare star who seems genuine, hardworking, focused on her fans, and generally wholesome and kind. You have to admit that she’s made herself wildly successful and is a talented and savvy businesswoman, even if you don’t agree that she’s a talented artist. And so it’s impressive when MTV fans — who traditionally support some pretty superficial stuff — voted for a heartfelt 19-year-old country singer who doesn’t drink. It was an exciting break from tradition, and based on the reactions on the Interwebs, most people were genuinely happy for Ms. Swift. In the end, this was about a person who got something they deserved and was embarrassed by a drunken asshole. Kanye was rude, plain and simple, and I’m glad people reacted the way they did. Yes, there are bigger problems in the world, and yes, T. Swift is a big girl and a multimillionaire and will be fine, but it’s nice to see pop culture consumers of the world emphatically come down on the side of the nice girl.

In other unsurprising VMA news, everyone is obsessed with Twlight, Beyonce’s performance was out-of-control amazing, Lil Mama had a surprise of her own for Beyonce’s boo, and  Lady Gaga is still a wackjob:

lady gaga

Looks like MTV might be back in the game.

[Posted by Mallory]

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today is a google holiday, hooray!

It’s a Google Holiday AND it’s Saturday AND I have nothing to do except lounge and eat delicious food later. Does life get any better?

Today’s Google Holiday: MJ’s birthday. Today would have been Michael Jackson’s 51st. I’m underwhelmed by this one. I’m over the MJ thing. I was that person who really just didn’t care that he died. I know that sounds awful but I see the situation in one of two ways: 1) he was a good and talented guy who had a really screwy and sad life, so honestly he’s probably better off, or 2) he maybe molested little children, so good riddance. That sounds really mean typed out. Meh.

What I was Googling: metro dc

mj google holiday

In MJ’s birthday honor, let’s listen to MY favorite Michael Jackson song: “I Want You Back.” Thriller Schmiller. The Jackson 5 = summertime and slurpees. Love it. And you’re welcome for the English AND Spanish Portuguese (oops) subtitles. YouTube videos are so funny:

Have a good weekend, kids!

[Posted by Mallory]

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heidi montag (pratt?) pretends to sing.

I know you were dying to see this video.  Heidi Montag “performed” her “hot new single” at last night’s Miss Universe pageant.  Let’s take a look, shall we?

Oh goodness.

Something is very wrong with those pants.

Something is very wrong with those pants.

Notice how all of her dancers are brunettes?  Strange.

Well, let’s get one thing out of the way– there is no way in all of God’s green goodness that girl is singing unless there is a synthesizer actually implanted in her throat.  Her dancing is on par with Julia Stiles in “Save the Last Dance”, so mediocre at best.  And the costume?  Yikes, girl.  Britney already did the nude colored body suit thing, and it actually fit her properly.

Those silly Pratts.  Spencer thinks he can rap, she thinks she can sing and dance.  What next?!

I actually watched a solid five minutes of the Miss Universe pageant, and oddly enough it didn’t include Heidi’s performance.  I got to see the top 15 in the evening gown segment, which also featured a ten second clip of why each girl loved her dress.  Simple and elegant were the key words the girls used, yet none of the dresses were simple or elegant.  Meh.  Oh, and in case you didn’t know, Miss Venezuela won.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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and i need you now tonight.

This is one of the greatest things I’ve ever seen on the Internets:

For a better understanding of “Total Eclipse of the Heart”:

turn around

Thank you, Koufukuron. Click here for a larger, easier-to-read version.

True story: at my high school, seniors were allowed to go off campus for lunch. When you drove back into campus from your sweet ass lunch at Quizno’s or the cheap Mexican place, you would drive by all of the lowly underclassmen eating outside. Most seniors would take this opportunity to blare some sort of rap muuuuusick (what was popular then? Usher? Outkast?) and my friends and I vowed that we would never be that obnoxious (or at least not that particular brand of obnoxious). Instead, we would blare ridiculous, embarrassing music, like — you guessed it — Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart.” Those were the days.

Let’s all reminisce, shall we?

Or check out the literal video version, because it’s amazing.

[Posted by Mallory]

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dancing with the crooked, lying politician.

I should have written about this yesterday, but I didn’t.  So that’s that.  When I first heard about it, I thought it was a joke.  Former Congressman and Majority Leader Tom Delay is going to join the cast of “Dancing with the Stars”.  Perhaps the title should be changed to “Dancing with the Fallen Stars”.

Do you all remember Tom “The Hammer” Delay?  I’m a huge fan.  No, really, I am.  Do I disagree with pretty much all of his positions on the issues? You betcha. But I’m really a fan because he gave us one of the most classic and hilarious high profile mugshots EVER.  Smile, Hammer!

Stop... Hammer time!

Stop... Hammer time!

That smile really just lights up a room, doesn’t it?  He looks thrilled.

In case you were wondering, he earned the nickname “The Hammer” because he was particularly fierce as the Majority Whip (the person who gets the party to all vote the same way) for the Republicans in 1995.  He became the Majority Leader for the House of Reps  in 2003.  Then, all this stuff started happening. Perhaps there was a little violation of  campaign finance laws, perhaps a little perjury.  You know, no big deal.  Well, actually, he was indicted, but it still hasn’t come to trial yet.  Perhaps that will be part of his dramatic DWTS storyline?

So “The Hammer” will grace us with his dancing skillllllz.  He says he and his wife love to dance, and his daughter is a professional dancer.  When he was in Congress, Tommy was known for his outspoken opposition to the National Endowment for the Arts.  Just throwing that out there.

He will be joined by a bunch of other regular people who were once famous.  According to People:

The complete cast for Dancing Season Nine

Mya, singer
Melissa Joan Hart, actress
Michael Irvin, former Dallas Cowboy
Ashley Hamilton, actor, comedian, singer-songwriter
Aaron Carter, singer
Kathy Ireland, former supermodel-turned-businesswoman
Debi Mazar, actress
Natalie Coughlin, U.S. Olympic swimmer
Louie Vito, snowboarder
Chuck Liddell, ultimate fighting champ
Donny Osmond, singer
Tom DeLay, former Republican congressman
Macy Gray, singer
Joanna Krupa, model and actress
Mark Dacascos, Iron Chef personality
Kelly Osbourne, reality star

AARON CARTER?!  I’m watching this every week.  That is a completely serious statement.  And just because I can, I’m going to leave you with the a video of my other favorite dancing Hammer:

[Posted by Kathleen]

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c’mon baby let’s go boot scootin’.

At the risk of alientating some readers…

Y’all, Brooks and Dunn broke up! According to the AP, the duo talked about their decision to call it quits yesterday at the taping of a CMT (Country Music Television, dur…best country music video marathons ever) show. Don’t get excited about Destiny’s Child-style drama, though: this is an amicable split because they basically ran out of ideas. Kix Brooks and Ronnie Dunn say they “remain good friends and have never had a ‘good fight’ or even yelled at each other.” Aww.

Now, I think country music is awesome in pretty much all its forms. I know some people don’t agree, but I say those people are missing out. (Plus, I’m from Colorado, so cowboys are my people. I have genuine respect for men who can unironically pull off tight jeans, cowboy boots and hat, and a bolo tie.) Country music makes me feel safe and warm and cozy inside, and this song is one of my favorites:

Bye, boys! We — and by “we” I mean “I,” as I don’t think Kathleen would support the sentiments of this post — will miss you.

[Posted by Mallory]

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how many things are we missing?

Now, we all hate cheesy forwarded emails. We did enough forwarding in sixth grade (sometimes even with snail mail! Remember chain letters claiming that six of your relatives would die unless you sent a new, clean pair of underwear back to the sender of the letter and forwarded the letter on to 13 people?) to last a lifetime. But occasionally a worthwhile FWD:  comes down the pike.  My real best friend from home, Kelsey,sent one to me yesterday (and yes, I passed it on). The text read:

Perception…something to think about…

Washington, DC Metro Station on a cold January morning in 2007.

The man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time approx. 2 thousand people went through the station, most of them on their way to work. After 3 minutes a middle aged man noticed there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried to meet his schedule.

4 minutes later: The violinist received his first dollar: a woman threw the money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk.

6 minutes: A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.

10 minutes: A 3-year old boy stopped but his mother tugged him along hurriedly. The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. Every parent, without exception, forced their children to move on quickly.

45 minutes: The musician played continuously. Only 6 people stopped and listened for a short while. About 20 gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace. The man collected a total of $32.

1 hour: He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition. No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before Joshua Bell sold out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100.

This is a true story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people’s priorities. The questions raised: in a common place environment at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context? One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be this: If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made…How many other things are we missing?

My first reaction was “Yeaaah RIGHT. I totally would have heard about this if it were true.” But with a little Google investigation, I realized that this story was, in fact, true. It was orchestrated by Washington Post Staff Writer Gene Weingarten with the help of Bell (obviously) and Amanda B. Kearney, senior property director for JBG Companies, which operates the arcade area outside the L’Enfant metro stop, where Josh played. (Metro regulations prohibited Josh from actually playing inside a station.) Before the story ran, Weingarten asked an expert what kind of reaction he thought Bell would get from the people walking by him in the Metro station:

Leonard Slatkin, music director of the National Symphony Orchestra, was asked [what he thought would happen]. What did he think would occur, hypothetically, if one of the world’s great violinists had performed incognito before a traveling rush-hour audience of 1,000-odd people?

“Let’s assume,” Slatkin said, “that he is not recognized and just taken for granted as a street musician… Still, I don’t think that if he’s really good, he’s going to go unnoticed. He’d get a larger audience in Europe…but, okay, out of 1,000 people, my guess is there might be 35 or 40 who will recognize the quality for what it is. Maybe 75 to 100 will stop and spend some time listening.”

So, a crowd would gather?

“Oh, yes.”

And how much will he make?

“About $150.”

Slatkin, of course, was very wrong. Hardly anyone recognized Bell’s talent. Nor did they notice that he’s quite pretty:

Joshua_Bell_-_The_Romantic_Violin

That’s sad in some ways, but mostly it’s just fascinating. I know for certain that I wouldn’t have recognized Bell as anything more than a street musician. I don’t know my music, classical or otherwise, well enough to distinguish between someone who can play a Bach piece pretty well and someone who is a musical genius. There are times when I appreciate the quality of the music I hear on the street, but I doubt that I would have been any more observant than the other frazzled commuters in L’Enfant that day.

This morning, as I walked out of Union Station, sweating profusely because I will NEVER get used to humidity, I looked around at the usual group of men crowded outside the exit. That man handing out The Washington Post Express…could it BE Gene Weingarten? The guy selling roses for $5…an award-winning florist?! The dude with the boombox playing some sort of religious program…JESUS HIMSELF?!

All kidding aside, it really does make you think. What could you be missing?

[Posted by Mallory]

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youtube clip of today: attn #7.

If you don’t know about these already, I haven’t been doing my job.  And for that, I am sorry.  I find these to be HILARIOUS.  Here is the seventh installment of Auto-Tune the News.  Hopefully you find it half as funny as I do.  Oh, and below is the sixth installment, which is by far my favorite (Sarah Palin makes an appearance).  The rest can be viewed here!

[Posted by Kathleen]

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benedict’s hot new single drops soon!

VATICAN POPE

The Prada wearing Pope is now doing what so many young stars are doing today– he’s recording an album.  No word yet on whether there will be collaborations with T-Pain, Ne-Yo, Rhianna or Carlos Santana, or if it’s produced by Timbaland, but definitely be ready for some hymns and prayers to the Virgin Mary.  From the story on MSNBC:

The pontiff’s as-yet-untitled album also includes eight original pieces of contemporary classical music, Geffen/Universal said.

The pope is accompanied by the Choir of the Philharmonic Academy of Rome, recorded in St. Peter’s Basilica in the Vatican. The original compositions are performed by the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra, recorded at London’s Abbey Road studios.

So maybe I poked fun at this (all in good fun, I promise), but unlike the musical efforts of Paris Hilton, the proceeds from PB XVI’s album are going to a good cause.  They will be used to bring the joy of music to underprivileged children around the world.  I can get behind that.

Benny’s album drops on Nov. 30.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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happy national tequila day, dear readers!

Just another Public Service Announcement from your friends here at SWTCTW: it’s July 24, which means it’s National Tequila Day! Great holiday, right? Half of you probably don’t drink tequila anymore because of that one time in college, but for those of you lucky enough to still love the stuff, drink up! While you’re pounding margaritas, think of us and also of these wonderful songs honoring your favorite agave-based spirit:

(Follow up thoughts for that one:

1. Who goes out to drink margaritas at the Holiday Inn?

2. Joe Nichols is an exceptionally unenthusiastic lip syncher.

3. Really, with the naked grandma?)

And it just wouldn’t be National Tequila Day without this classic:

Cheers, folks! Don’t eat the worm.

[Posted by Mallory]

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