I don’t dislike cats, but I just don’t really understand them. The cats I’ve interacted with seem apathetic to the existence of all humans. I want them to be dogs, and they aren’t. But I’m sure that’s why cat lover’s love them.
Regardless, this video is pretty adorable.
Just a tip, watch it on mute.
[Posted by Shannon]
Don’t be skerd, this is actually adorable:
Thanks to guest blogger Madeline, yet again, for the tip!
[Posted by Mallory]
I know I’ve mentioned this before (ah yes, here, here, here, and here, among other places) : I love beards. Love them. If a dude has one, odds are I’m attracted to him, even if he is attractive in no other way, even if he’s 60 years old, etc. etc. Lately, beards have been all over the place!
First, Susnan sent me this song, with the recommendation that I listen to the last five seconds. You should too:
Then KTray sent me an email that included a link to various beard-y crafts on Etsy. My favorite was this one:
If you want to buy it for me, that would be okay.
A few days later, guest blogger Madeline sent me the following video. If you can’t tell me you love beards after watching it, then we probably shouldn’t be friends:
And then I had a dream that I was making out with Jamiroquai, and he had a great beard. This is particularly bizarre because (1) in my waking life I have no clue what Jamiroquai looks like and (2) I thought Jamiroquai was black, which was weird because in my dream he was white. Turns out, he actually is white, which means my subconscious knows things that my conscious doesn’t. (I also thought Winston Churchill was black until I was in high school. But Winston Churchill didn’t have a beard, so let’s not worry about him here.)
Enjoy the snow, DCites!
[Posted by Mallory]
NBC recently announced they would be moving the struggling Jay Leno Show to 11:35, moving back Conan O’Brien’s Tonight Show and Jimmy Fallon’s Late Show until after midnight. Conan finally put his foot down and submitted this statement:
People of Earth:
In the last few days, I’ve been getting a lot of sympathy calls, and I want to start by making it clear that no one should waste a second feeling sorry for me. For 17 years, I’ve been getting paid to do what I love most and, in a world with real problems, I’ve been absurdly lucky. That said, I’ve been suddenly put in a very public predicament and my bosses are demanding an immediate decision.
Six years ago, I signed a contract with NBC to take over “The Tonight Show” in June of 2009. Like a lot of us, I grew up watching Johnny Carson every night and the chance to one day sit in that chair has meant everything to me. I worked long and hard to get that opportunity, passed up far more lucrative offers, and since 2004, I have spent literally hundreds of hours thinking of ways to extend the franchise long into the future. It was my mistaken belief that, like my predecessor, I would have the benefit of some time and, just as important, some degree of ratings support from the prime-time schedule. Building a lasting audience at 11:30 is impossible without both.
But sadly, we were never given that chance. After only seven months, with my “Tonight Show” in its infancy, NBC has decided to react to their terrible difficulties in prime time by making a change in their long-established late night schedule.
Last Thursday, NBC executives told me they intended to move the “Tonight Show” to 12:05 to accommodate the “Jay Leno Show” at 11:35. For 60 years, the “Tonight Show” has aired immediately following the late local news. I sincerely believe that delaying the “Tonight Show” into the next day to accommodate another comedy program will seriously damage what I consider to be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting. The “Tonight Show” at 12:05 simply isn’t the “Tonight Show.” Also, if I accept this move I will be knocking the “Late Night” show, which I inherited from David Letterman and passed on to Jimmy Fallon, out of its long-held time slot. That would hurt the other NBC franchise that I love, and it would be unfair to Jimmy.
So it has come to this: I cannot express in words how much I enjoy hosting this program and what an enormous personal disappointment it is for me to consider losing it. My staff and I have worked unbelievably hard, and we are very proud of our contribution to the legacy of “The Tonight Show.” But I cannot participate in what I honestly believe is its destruction. Some people will make the argument that with DVRs and the Internet, a time slot doesn’t matter. But with the “Tonight Show,” I believe nothing could matter more.
There has been speculation about my going to another network but, to set the record straight, I currently have no other offer and honestly have no idea what happens next. My hope is that NBC and I can resolve this quickly so that my staff, crew, and I can do a show we can be proud of, for a company that values our work.
Have a great day and, for the record, I am truly sorry about my hair; it’s always been that way.
Yours,
Conan
[Posted by Shannon]
There is now a punctuation mark that you can use to indicate that you’re being sarcastic. It costs $1.99.
This is a joke, right? If you need a symbol to indicate when you’re being sarcastic, then you suck at being sarcastic (or your friends suck for not comprehending sarcasm). Telling someone you’re being sarcastic kills all the fun; it’s like when someone makes you explain a joke to them:
“Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.” [E.B. White]
And more importantly, as E.Lee so wisely pointed out, “That thing doesn’t even LOOK like sarcasm!”
[Posted by Mallory]
A man, who had just been released from the hospital for injuries from a domestic dispute (aka his girlfriend hit him with a frying pan and a table leg), stole $50 from her at a local Walmart and attempted to escape on one of their motorized scooters. He didn’t get away. The end.
And while looking for an image for this post, I came across this little gem. It’s called the “CruizinCooler.” Jackpot.
[Posted by Shannon]
Cheers to 2010! I was pondering today what the nickname for the newest decade would be when I realized something…no one ever came up with a nickname for the past 1o years. Sure, the ’80s, ’90s, etc. kind of wrote themselves, but how is it possible that not one of the six billion of us could think of something to call ’00-’09 collectively? Come on people. Lets do better for the next 10.
On another (much more embarrassing) note, I shamefully admit that I was, yet again, sucked into The Bachelor’s premiere episode tonight. The Bachelor is now on its 14th season, not counting The (far superior) Bachelorette seasons. New Bachelor Jake was surprisingly less douchy than he was last year, but the majority of the 25 female contestants put all women to shame. Who watches this garbage? Oh yeah, me.
can you feel my rolling eyes?
This season promises to have just as much ABC Network-induced drama and fake-by-the-railing emotional breakdowns as any other season, so I’ll probably DVR every episode. Especially because the gossip is a contestant and one of the show’s producers were having an affair while taping was going on. Not even The Bachelor producers take this show seriously!
And one last thing, because Jake is a pilot – the title of this season is “The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love.” ABC, FIRE your writers.
[Posted by Shannon]
Filed under celebrities, humor, pictures, pop culture, random, thoughts, TV
It’s also a Google Holiday…what fun!
Google Holiday: Happy Holidays from Google! (So meta, eh, E.Lee?)
What I was Googling: what does (for more Google predictor fun, of course)
[Posted by Mallory]
Folks, I’m not just here to regale you with tales of my own awkwardness; I’m here to help YOU. In the spirit of the season, I want to share with you what I think is the perfect holiday gift for anyone still left on your list. I present the Ed Hardy Hair Dryer:
C’mon, can you think of a better way to start your morning than blow-drying your freshly gelled locks with this beauty? I didn’t think so. And at the sale price of $99.95 (!!!), how can you resist?
You’re welcome.
[Posted by Mallory]
six words to change the world. 
