This kills me:
I don’t know about you guys, but I think that is far funnier than David After Dentist. I mean, the girl raps about Jesus. And speaks in a British accent. And talks about unicorns flying her to magical lands. Almost makes me want to get some teeth pulled.
[Posted by Mallory]
As you may have heard, here or elsewhere, Tiger Woods did some naughty things and for a while everyone hated him. Now he is trying to get everyone to love him again. There’s a lot of interesting stuff going on related to that, what with Elin Woods being sort of unreadable and Tiger doing weird shit like making a creepy commercial with the hope that people will forgive him. A few comments about that…
First, a Just Six Words and a Picture submittal from loyal reader Susnan:
Riddle me this: zippers for whaaaat?
Fair question, Susnan. Faaair question. I read an interesting article yesterday about the fact that Elin Woods has been pretty impossible to read these days. She’s always wearing her sunglasses, and she hasn’t quite condemned/all-out ditched Tiger, but she’s also not standing by him. Those crazy Swedes…what ARE they thinking?
But the real question of the week is Who thought this commercial was a good idea?!:
Frankly, I don’t understand. Who sat in on that Nike meeting and was like “OOH, I’ve got it. Let’s have Tiger stare at the camera looking all haggard and pathetic, and we’ll have his DEAD DAD do a voiceover that seems to be questioning this whole affair thing. GENIUS!” And it is genius. If by genius they mean creepy as fuck. I think that no matter what Tiger’s publicity team does for him, he will get back in the nation’s good graces to some extent simply because he’s a good golfer. We are great at ignoring the indiscretions of celebrities, and because he’s had his public flogging, I think things would have gone back to normal either way. So…from my expert standpoint, this commercial was unnecessary (as in won’t help Tiger or Nike all that much), except to give people nightmares. Yay!
With boob zippers on our mind and Tiger’s piercing stare in our hearts, I bid you a happy Friday.
[Posted by Mallory]
Filed under celebrities, news, pop culture, weird, YouTube
The Ben Folds and a Piano concert on Friday was awesome, and I have a new crush: his opening act, Zach Williams:
Beard? Check. Flannel? Check. Guitar? Check. Adorable wife and daughter whom he talked about lots? Sigh, check.
Because Mr. Williams is not yet supa-famous, we were able to chat with him after the concert. That gave me the opportunity to say really creepy things like, “There are so many things that are great about you, and one of them is your beard. Never get rid of it.” (Don’t worry, I followed that up by Facebook friending him and sending him a message. Yes, I fully expect him to be celebrating his first Stalker Fan. And yes, I did have too many Dark ‘n’ Stormies at dinner.) Here’s a taste (and I’m not entirely sure why he’s lying on the floor, but hey, art!):
Here’s another one of my favorites. And here’s the one he wrote about his daughter. So effing cute.
Ben Folds, of course, was amazing as well, and ended the show with a phenomenal rendition of “Bitches Ain’t Shit.” But the crowning moment of his set was when he played “Levi Johnston’s Blues.” If you didn’t love ol’ Ben before (ahem, MATT), you will now:
And with that, I bid you good day.
[Posted by Mallory]
Filed under celebrities, crushes, music, pop culture, YouTube
I adore this song:
There is so much good music in my life these days, and that makes me absurdly happy. I have Ben Folds and Zach Williams tonight, and Phoenix, Ted Leo and the Pharmacists, and Jakob Dylan and Neko Case on the agenda in coming weeks. I’m a lucky girl.
Happy Friday, kiddos!
[Posted by Mallory]
Oh FINE. Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve seen it (and certainly heard it) by now, but here is everyone’s Uncle Joe dropping the F bomb on live TV.
I think he’s the greatest. He’s just so lovably inappropriate! You know he was sitting there thinking to himself, “What powerful words can I say to B that he will remember for the rest of his life?” Well, he certainly found the words to say. Perhaps he just forgot that there were 250 hot mics around. Regardless, I’m glad it happened, and here’s why: it’s been lightening up the health care debate and people have been having some fun with it.
Yup. School House Rock got BFD’d.
But back to Biden. As Press Secretary Robert Gibbs tweeted, “And yes, Mr. Vice President, you’re right“. Because he is. It IS a big deal. And it’s long overdue.
PS- Here is a great tool to see how the health care legislation will affect you. Super easy– just put in your marital status, if/how you have health care and what you make. Click here.
[Posted by Kathleen]
I was doing work in the Starbucks on my campus earlier today, and they were playing all sorts of lovely songs. Said songs were being played WAY too loud for a coffee shop — they would have been better off in a bar setting — but that encouraged me to pay even more attention to them. My ears really perked up when a I heard a nice lady voice covering my favorite Beatles song, “I’ve Just Seen a Face.” (And, for full disclosure, I don’t really LOVE the Beatles — I know, sorry — but I tend to love covers of their songs. Which means I Am Sam and Across the Universe were awesome for me.) While I’m all for keeping to the integrity of the song in covers, this nice lady singer had changed the pronouns to the boy ones, which was fun, because hey, I like boys! Unfortunately, I’ve been searching for this particular cover on the Interwebs and can’t find it anywhere, so you’ll have to settle for my original favorite cover of the song, by Tyler Hilton. (I first heard this version on American Dreams, which was inexplicably cancelled mid-season right as Sam and Meg were starting to fall in love. Not that I’m still bitter.):
Interestingly, I haven’t the faintest idea who Nick and Daniele are, but I enjoyed that all the same.
UPDATE: Maybe this is the version I heard?
[Posted by Mallory]
I’m seeing Ben Folds on Friday, and this video made me even more excited for the concert. He BEST do this in DC (and I hope we talk to Bobby again):
[Posted by Mallory]
Filed under adventures, crushes, humor, music, pop culture, YouTube
You guys have heard of Chatroulette by now, right? I’m not gonna lie, I’ve been too scared/weirded out to try it, but it’s a fascinating concept. From what I understand, you just video chat with random strangers for as long as you want, and talk to, er, exhibitionists, about every other time. One day, I may be brave enough to try it and report back, but for now, enjoy this little number:
Thanks for the tip, Susnan’s Gchat status!
[Posted by Mallory]
Filed under adventures, humor, music, YouTube
Guys, I’ve had so many thoughts in my head that I’ve wanted to tell you about, but instead of telling them to you, I watch Super Size Me (ten years after the rest of the country) and fall asleep. Sorry about that. The good news is that Google Holidays keep me on track. They taunt me, saying “YOU CAN’T IGNORE ME. YOU MUST BLOG ABOUT ME.” And I oblige, because I’m not one to mess with the Google.
Google Holiday: Happy St. Patrick’s Day. As you might have suspected, Google is honoring America’s favorite excuse to day drink and wear green hats that look like beer steins. (Hypothetically speaking, of course.) Since I celebrated my St. Patty’s Day approximately three years ago up in Hoboken — and since I have “school” and “a job” — I’m taking it easy today, just cold wearing green pants and going about my day as usual.
What I was Googling: tostitos salsa ingredients. I’ve surely mentioned here before that I love salsa. If DC legalizes marriage between a human and a condiment, I’m running down to the city court with a jumbo-sized jar of Tostitos Chunky Salsa Medium. Not that I’m picky. I love almost every salsa I’ve ever tasted, and though I eat it in frightening quanties (like, say, half a jar on a pair of scrambled eggs. Did I just admit that publicly?), I figure there are worst things I could be addicted to. Like heroin, or McDonald’s. (Am I right, Morgan Spurlock?!)
But then I read this article in the NYT, and it made me feel all inauthentic for loving mass-produced American brands just as much as I love the salsa from the amazing hole-in-the-wall taco place around the corner from work (where I’m eating lunch today, HUZZAH!). This opening section, in particular, bothered me:
“Everybody here thinks they know what Mexican food is,” said Nicholas Cox, the chef at La Esquina in NoLIta. “Especially if they’re from Texas or California.” (Ed. note: Ha! So true.)
Salsa, in particular, has emerged as Mexico’s most misunderstood culinary export. In Paris, Mexican restaurants make it with minced cornichon pickles and ketchup; in Japan, with green shishito peppers and Kewpie mayonnaise; in American factories, with corn syrup and red bell peppers.
In the spirit of all things Morgan Spurlock and Food, Inc., does my salsa have CORN SYRUP in it?! If it did, I’m not sure that I would really care and/or change anything about my salsa habits, but I became determined to find out the truth. And damn, Tostitos makes it a challenge to find out what’s in their salsa. I pored over their website, Googled like a mad woman, read a few blogs, and finally discovered that Tostitos Chunky Medium Salsa is nothing but tomato puree, diced tomatoes in tomato juice, jalapeno peppers, onions, vinegar, salt, garlic powder, and natural flavor. (Thanks to Off Her Cork for answering that one for me.) And while natural flavor might be a leetle sketchy, this makes me feel okay about the fact that I ate crackers dipped in salsa for dinner last night. Or, at least, as okay as I could be with that level of pathetic-ness.
I guess what I’m trying to say here is HAPPY ST. PATRICK’S DAY! Pound some Guinnesses and listen to this song on repeat, because it’s the best:
[Posted by Mallory]
six words to change the world. 