Monthly Archives: May 2009

on the pure genius of tfln.

Case in point:

(305): Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.

That REALLY is my life right now. FML, etc. etc. 

A sincere thank you to whoever invented Texts From Last Night. Nothing makes you feel better about a bad day than some stranger who had a worse night. Happy Friday, readers! Hope you rack up lots of potential TFLN submissions this weekend.

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under adventures, humor, pop culture, post-college depression

youtube clip of today: rap chop.

Remember Vince Offer?  The ShamWow! hooker puncher?  (His real name is actually Vince Schlomi.  Teehee.)  Well, here is remixed video of his Slap Chop infomercial, appropriately titled the “Rap Chop”.  The person who made this ABSOLUTELY has too much time on their hands, but it is funny.  Best part?  “You’re gonna love my nuts”.  Oh, Vince.  How the mighty infomercial spokesman have fallen.  And just for funsies, here is his mugshot.

vince-offers-mugshot-2830-1238188403-5

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under blogging, celebrities, food, humor, pop culture, random, sex, thoughts, weird, YouTube

jon, minus kate and 8, cheats.

jon-and-kate-gosselinSCROLL DOWN FOR STORY UPDATES

I just read some devastating, but kind of unsurprising, news.  Jon Gosselin of “Jon and Kate Plus 8” definitely cheated on Kate.  US Weekly has the whole story, which includes pictures.  The other woman is Deanna Hummel, a 23-year-old third grade teacher.  Her brother, Jason, lives with her and that’s why he can give all the juicy details.  And in case you’re wondering, he’s just trying to protect his sister, not get publicity for himself or somehow finagle money out of this.  Of course.

In fact, he’s trying to protect her so much that he takes away all of her privacy and any of her dignity with this gem of a quote:

A lot of the time, it was pretty, um, gross listening to her, you know, um — how do I say this? The walls are thin. Let’s just say that. I mean, no one wants to hear his sister having sex, let alone with a married dude who’s, like, almost twice her age and who has eight kids and a maybe-crazy wife. Ick. Nast.

Ick? Nast?  Gross.  I don’t really want to talk about the content of that quote, but I am obligated to point out that Jon isn’t “like, almost twice her age.”  He’s 32, and she’s 23.  He’s 14 years short of being twice her age.  Just sayin’.

This whole thing is a mess.

Two weeks ago, when pictures surfaced of Jon in a car with “the mystery woman” (it was Deanna) leaving a club, he made this statement.

“I went to Legends to speak to the owner.  A friend of mine wanted to check out my car, so I let her drive it to her car,” he says. “Yes, I have female friends — but that is all she is. I’m not going to end my friendships just because I’m on TV.”

Now Jon, that was stupid.  Kate is going to hit you extra hard now when you’re sitting in that big chair talking about your day and the lessons you learned.  Kate doesn’t like it when the kids lie, I doubt she’ll be very kind to you.

I wonder what TLC is going to do.  They said “no comment” on the story last time.   It’s all awful, and despite me thinking that Kate is really mean to Jon, there is no justification for his actions.  He doesn’t get a pass.  He has eight children under the age of seven.  What on earth was he thinking?  Did he think that nobody would recognize him?

I’m sad for the family, and most of all the children.  One of the things the Gosselin’s show was praised for is how “real” it is.  And we, their audience, really liked that.  Well, the scenes with the kids are real.  But the family dynamic is larger than just the day to day silliness of the kids.

Will this change the way you see the show?

Oh, and Aaden, if things get too tough at home, you can come live with me and Mallory.  We’ll raise you.  And get you a cuter pair of glasses.

UPDATED!

Here are the statements from Deanna Hummel and Jon Gosselin from People magazine:

“My brother is making this all up,” Hummel tells PEOPLE. “He has no credibility … I can’t even stomach the lies he’s saying about me.”  Hummel continues to deny any sort of romantic relationship with Gosselin, and the elementary school teacher admits that there’s been bad blood between her and her brother for a while now. “My brother is very shady,” says Hummel. “He has no job. He has a criminal background. He was charged for drug distribution. He’s on probation right now.”

“These allegations are false and just plain hurtful,” Gosselin says in a statement exclusively to PEOPLE. “As I adjust to the attention that comes from being in the public eye, I need to be more careful and aware of who I am associating with and where I am spending my time. But the bottom line is, I did not cheat on Kate.

And the plot thickens!

Here are the pictures.  Who do you believe?

gosselin_01

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under babies, blogging, celebrities, family, news, pop culture, random, sex, thoughts, TV, Uncategorized, weird

youtube clip of today: hey jude.

If you want to feel happy, just watch this video.

Watch 13,500 people in Trafalgar Square, all singing Hey Jude.  PINK, by the way, is leading them in song.  Honestly, why does this have to be a viral video for T-Mobile?  Why can’t stuff like this just happen all the time?  Life would be so much more fun.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under adventures, blogging, celebrities, music, pop culture, random, the arts, thoughts, YouTube

do you have the swine flu?

Great resource for determining whether you’re going to be the next victim of Edgar Hernandez’s swine flu: www.doihaveswineflu.org.

UPDATE: Also, www.doihavepigflu.com.

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under health, humor, news