Author Archives: Mallory

you say po-tay-to, i say po-tah-to.

I love Wonkette so much, as has been proclaimed many times on this here blog. Today, they helped me out by teaching me how to pronounce “Sotomayor” (who is Barry’s SCOTUS pick, by the way, since we were lazy and never posted about that). And then they wrote a fabulous article attacking some National Review douche who thinks, “Hey, why should we both trying to pronounce that Latina’s name the right way?” I’m posting the whole Wonkette article, because why not:

The National Review The Corner blog’s Mark Krikorian hears how the people on teevee are pronouncing Sotomayor — “Zo-toe-my-OR” — and he goddamn does not care for that at all, so he goddamn will not pronounce it that way, goddamnit, fuck you all, learn to speak English.

“But there ought to be limits,” he writes.

It Sticks in My Craw [Mark Krikorian]

Most e-mailers were with me on the post on the pronunciation of Judge Sotomayor’s name (and a couple griped about the whole Latina/Latino thing — English dropped gender in nouns, what, 1,000 years ago?). But a couple said we should just pronounce it the way the bearer of the name prefers, including one who pronounces her name “freed” even though it’s spelled “fried,” like fried rice. (I think Cathy Seipp of blessed memory did the reverse — “sipe” instead of “seep.”) Deferring to people’s own pronunciation of their names should obviously be our first inclination, but there ought to be limits. Putting the emphasis on the final syllable of Sotomayor is unnatural in English (which is why the president stopped doing it after the first time at his press conference), unlike my correspondent’s simple preference for a monophthong over a diphthong, and insisting on an unnatural pronunciation is something we shouldn’t be giving in to.

You and your THONGS. Pronouncing a proper noun in its natural Spanish way “is something we shouldn’t be giving in to.” How is this “giving in to” anything? It’s just saying a fucking word correctly. WAH WAH WAH. How does one pronounce “Krikorian” anyway? KRICK-WHORE-EE-NAZI… KRICK-DICK…KRIK-SHIT-WHORE-DONG… oh it’s too hard and unnatural, WAH, WAH, look at us crying now like babies, WAH WAH WAH, oh someone console us, pwease, WAH.

Let’s just call them both Hamburger SUV and get on with it.

I bet Kirkorian pronouces the l’s in quesadilla, too.

[Posted by Mallory]

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this kid so schools his sister.

This video, much like the So You Think You Can Dance videos that Chris just posted, is strangely mesmerizing:

Right? Like…does this kid just watch a lot of music videos? Do his parents teach him this stuff? Was he BORN with these skillz? We may never know the answers, but I just might swipe a few of his moves and add them to my dancing arsenal. (Ha ha, that was a joke. My dancing arsenal has only one move in it, and that is the Jump and Twist.)

[Posted by Mallory]

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rapes persist in liberia, writes kristof.

Read this Kristof op-ed on mass rape in Liberia. Just…wow.

[Posted by Mallory]

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the guy next door’s the winner!

I have a tendency to get emotionally invested in a competition very, very quickly. I can ask my dad who to root for in a college football game, and by the end I’m crying when the quarterback runs over to hug his mother. I can be watching Dancing With the Stars in French and by the end I’m giddy (and also probably crying) because the cute girl I liked won. I can also not see a single episode of American Idol but still, inexplicably, watch and care about the finale.  

I forced my poor friend Jill to watch the singing part of the finale with me two nights ago. (In my slight defense, she DVR-ed it so we fast-forwarded through the cheesy parts or any moment where Ryan Seacrest talked.) Now that Adam guy has a set of pipes, and I was totally impressed by him, despite the creeptastic trench coat and smoke. But Kris Allen won me over. It’s a well-publicized fact that my favorite genre of music is Boys Playing Guitars, and he fits the bill perfectly. He’s  just so earnest! And he plays instruments! And he has a cute wife! And anyone else think he sounds a lot like Adam Levine when he’s singing? He also gets an adorable smashed and crooked face when he sings — like John Mayer, but more endearing.

The point is, I teared up any time they showed Kris’s adorable family, then I realized that I would actually buy his CD (as long as “No Boundaries” isn’t on it, good GOD), so I was compelled to vote for him. That’s right, I totally texted in my vote. And he won! HOORAH!

I didn’t watch the results part of the finale, but this picture, courtesy of the NYT, is perfect:

kris allen

Here’s hoping he doesn’t get famous and starting banging random groupies.

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under celebrities, crushes, definitely not politics, music, pop culture, TV

here, read this quote i liked.

Just stumbled across this quote on the blog of a pretty freaking hilarious and wacky 13-year-old (no, really, check her out), and I liked it, so now you get to read it:

“Everybody has a secret world inside of them. All of the people of the world, I mean everybody. No matter how dull and boring they are on the outside, inside them they’ve all got unimaginable, magnificent, wonderful, stupid, amazing worlds. Not just one world. Hundreds of them. Thousands maybe.” [Neil Gaiman]

Apparently it’s in a comic book series called The Sandman, and though it seems like a pretty unusual quote to come from a comic book, and though the cover of said comic book is a leetle terrifying, I’m intrigued. 

[Posted by Mallory]

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tuesday roundup of interesting nytimes articles.

Some days, the New York Times seems particularly stacked with good articles. It could just be that those are the days I actually focus and read the articles (rather than just skimming the headlines), but for whatever reason, today was a good day. In no particular order, and with quite a range of topics, enjoy:

  • I haven’t been watching American Idol much this season, but according to Stephen Holden, we’ve got an interesting finale on our hands: sweet — if slightly boring — Southern dude versus androgynous L.A. dude. I might actually have to tune in tonight. Holden convinced me that along with being something of a godsend for Idol’s ratings, the matchup will make for some very watchable teevee. Better than the forgettable Davids of last year.
  • Speaking of Davids, according to David Brooks and a study called “Which C.E.O. Characteristics and Abilities Matter?”, warm and fun and friendly people are less likely to be C.E.O.’s. Basically, “warm, flexible, team-oriented and empathetic people are less likely to thrive as C.E.O.’s. Organized, dogged, anal-retentive and slightly boring people are more likely to thrive.” Of course, those sets of qualities can’t be mutually exclusive, but the study makes a point. Boring people of the world: aim high. Fun ones: go into politics.
  • What do our college degrees and cell phones say about us? According to this John Tierney article, they can potentially say a lot — and most of us like to believe they say a lot, which is why we aim for Ivy Leagues and iPhones — but it only matters if other people are paying attention. In other words, “A Harvard diploma might get you a date or a job interview, but what you say during the date or the conversation will make the difference. An elegantly thin Skagen watch might send a signal to a stranger at a cocktail party or in an airport lounge, but even if it were noticed, anyone who talked to you for just a few minutes would get a much better gauge of your intelligence and personality.”
  • I found this reflective piece by Dana Jennings to be quite thought-provoking. In it, he recounts three major hospital visits in his lifetime: one at the age of 12, one at the age of 27, and one just last year, at the age of 51. All of the visits were relatively serious and had the potential to be life-threatening, but the way he reacted to the hospital stays predictably changed a lot over the years. As he puts it, “When I was young and ill, all I cared about was the result, about scalpels and scars. But in this waltz with prostate cancer, I’ve cared about the process, too. All along, I’ve wanted to know what this cancer could teach me, and I’d like to think I gripped it just as hard as it has gripped me.”

[Posted by Mallory]

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go inside the fridges of strangers.

Just stumbled upon this delightfully voyueristic peek  into the fridges and freezers of strangers. The photos are part of a series by photographer Mark Menjivar called You Are What You Eat. When you read his goals for the collection, you can see that it’s about a little bit more than voyeurism; Menjivar wanted to make a statement about consumerism and hunger in this country:

You Are What You Eat is a series of portraits made by examining the interiors of refrigerators in homes across the United States.

For three years I traveled around the country exploring the issue of hunger. The more time I spent speaking and listening to individual stories, the more I began to think about the foods we consume and the effects they have on us as individuals and communities. An intense curiosity and questions about stewardship led me to begin to make these unconventional portraits.

A refrigerator is both a private and a shared space. One person likened the question, “May I photograph the interior of your fridge?” to asking someone to pose nude for the camera. Each fridge is photographed “as is.” Nothing added, nothing taken away.

These are portraits of the rich and the poor. Vegetarians, Republicans, members of the NRA, those left out, the under appreciated, former soldiers in Hitler’s SS, dreamers, and so much more. We never know the full story of one’s life.

My hope is that we will think deeply about how we care. How we care for our bodies. How we care for others. And how we care for the land.

 Here are a few photos from the collection:

fridge one

 

fridge two

 

fridge three

I’m a little embarrassed to say that my roommate’s and my fridge looks most like the third photo, which (tellingly?) was taken of the fridge of a couple of college students. The only items consistently in our fridge are condiments, booze and assorted cocktail fixings, and eggs. The grocery store is just so far away when you don’t have a car! City living is hard! (Sorry, Mom.)

You can see the rest of the photos at the blog link above, but definitely check out Menjivar’s website to see more of his impressive work.

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under drinks, food, health, random, the arts

liveblogging real housewives of nj premiere.

Sarah and Ben and I have been watching the reunion of The Real Housewives of New York, and one glass of wine in, I’ve decided I’m going to have to liveblog the premiere of The Real Housewives of New Jersey. I’ve watched most of the iterations of this show a couple of times while eating Thai takeout and sipping on some red wine, and I’ve never been that into it. But I think the NJ ladies will be different, and I’ve been eagerly awaiting the premiere of their show. So here goes:

10:58 — Jesus shit’s going down at the end of this NY reunion. Best observation of the night, courtesy of Miss Sarah: Alex looks like a baby horse alien.

11:00 p.m.– I’ve been on that turnpike!

11:00 p.m. — Thick as thieves. Is that a mafia reference?

11:00 p.m. — “Have you ever seen so much orange in one place?” -Miss Sarah

11:01 p.m. — America, meet Dina, Teresa, Caroline, Jacqueline, and Danielle.

11:01 p.m. — So these ones are actually friends? They’ve known each other for 13 years, interesting.

11:02 p.m. — Teresa’s husband Joe…jager bombs, jager bombs, fucking skanks.

11:04 p.m. — Teresa, I pay for everything in Benjamins too!!

11:06 p.m. — Hmmm Dina and Caroline are sisters. Interesting.

11:09 p.m. — Oh, these accents. My my my.

11:09 p.m. — This is not a very exciting liveblog, is it?

No, it’s not exciting, and 1.5 glasses of wine in I’m bored by this and I’m just going to be a quitter, OKAY? I’m a giant giant quitter and I’m okay with it. Liveblogging is better when Wonkette does it, I guess.

11:18 p.m. — BUT WAIT oh good lord can we talk about the crazy exercise one? Engaged 19 times? R U 4 REAL?

[Posted by Mallory]

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the inexplicable appeal of rock band.

So, I haven’t been posting on account of the fact that I’ve been writing 1,000 pages of final papers instead. I know that I should be getting back into the meaty posts about celebrities and strange news stories, but for now, I need to make a very important statement/pose a very important question:

What on EARTH is the appeal of Rock Band? I get that you love it, and that your roommates love it, and that you sometimes play it for days at a time. But why, why, WHY is it fun to sit around playing fake instruments badly and listening to someone sing badly? I’ve never liked Rock Band, and I’ve never gotten the point, and tonight I brought this fact up in a house of four boys who were playing Rock Band. They were all “Ohmygod just wait we’ll convince you.” And then for ten minutes I’ll never get back, I listened to fake music and watched cartoon singers on a screen while four boys played fake instruments. Give me wine and a Pandora station any day. 

[Posted by Mallory]

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on the pure genius of tfln.

Case in point:

(305): Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.

That REALLY is my life right now. FML, etc. etc. 

A sincere thank you to whoever invented Texts From Last Night. Nothing makes you feel better about a bad day than some stranger who had a worse night. Happy Friday, readers! Hope you rack up lots of potential TFLN submissions this weekend.

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under adventures, humor, pop culture, post-college depression