Category Archives: TV

by | July 12, 2008 · 5:30 am

a little something for your weekend.

Unfortunately, I won’t be blogging much this weekend. But to get you through, I have compiled a list of links that I most likely would have blogged about or find interesting enough to share, and you’ll have to use your imagination to think of what Mal and/or I would say about them.

This story about siblings torn apart by the Holocaust and being reunited after 66 years made me cry more than watching the video of Christian the Lion. No jokes and nothing snarky to say–there is good in this world.

Here is an interesting piece on Wall-E. The first negative thing I’ve read and it brings up some valid points. Still haven’t seen the movie though. What do you think?

People are over medicated, and our dogs are next. Here is a piece from the NYT Magazine. Since I’m not going to, make all the jokes you want. Make me proud.

There’s going to be a DC version of “The Hills”. I’m pissed, because I wanted to be in it. My idea for a show title was just “The Hill”. Clever, I know. Ha. Shockingly, they went for more party oriented than political party oriented girls…

I love baby names, and I might give someone a candy bar or something to let me name their child. But give up a gas card? HELL NO. Have you seen the price of gas? This story is so wrong on so many levels. I LOVE IT. These people are nutso. Maybe I should do something like this. I bet I could come up with something better than Sunday Rose. Ugh.

And finally, a slideshow of supermodels then and now. Claudia Schiffer is still pretty hot. And girl don’t even get me started on Tyra.

Dunzo. Enjoy. Comment. Have adventures. Miss me. XOXO.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | July 10, 2008 · 6:37 pm

jada and will? stay together forever.

Dear Jada and Will,

Ever since Nelson Mandela’s birthday party where you both looked consistently smashing and seemed really cute and fun and respectful, I’ve been thinking a lot about how much I like you two. Maybe it’s because Jada’s really short, and Will’s pretty tall, and I’ve always thought that made for a cute — if somewhat hard to imagine, er, logistically — couple. Also, Will, Big Willie Style has brought me joy for many, many years, and I will never think of Miami without thinking of you. Plus, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air  was pretty great. I’ll probably never see Hancock, but in your defense, I’ve heard it’s not as bad as it looks.

Jada, I maaaybe used to think you were Halle Barry, but you’re great too. Reign Over Me wins the award for making me cry longer and harder than any other movie I’ve ever seen, and that’s no easy feat. I also love how cute and tiny you are. As my idols over at GFY pointed out, you looked so adorable with your hubby at the Hancock premiere:

Even though Wikipedia tells me that Will was married before you came along, Jada, I’d like to imagine that you two crazy kids have been together forever. Either way, you’ve got a little over a decade under your marital belt, and I dig that. Plus, your kids are so adorable it should be illegal:

Cute

There is one little thing, though, guys. You apparently funded a Scientology school and are being kind of secretive about it. Now I’m all for education, but Scientology creeps me out. The Fox News article linked above tells me that this school, New Village Academy, “plans to use some teaching methods developed within the Church of Scientology and has hired a team of Scientologists to put them into action.” But there’s no mention on the school’s website that it has any affiliation with the Church of Scientology. That’s not cool.

I’m surprised, because Will, you’ve never publicly said you’re a Scientologist, and you’ve said some pretty intelligent things about religion:

In December, interviewed on “Access Hollywood,” Smith said of his Scientology connection: “I was introduced [to] it by Tom [Cruise], and I’m a student of world religion. I was raised in a Baptist household, I went to a Catholic school, but the ideas of the Bible are 98 percent the same ideas of Scientology, 98 percent the same ideas of Hinduism and Buddhism.”

I’m all for that attitude, but I’m bummed that you’re not being forthright about New Village Academy’s religious affiliation. Maybe you could work on being a little more honest there. Because other than this little slip up, you and Jada seem perfect. Anytime you need a babysitter, you know where to find me.

Cheers,
Mallory

[Posted by Mallory]

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by | July 3, 2008 · 10:48 pm

swf looking for quarter asian sextuplets.

This week I’ve been working evenings as a receptionist, which makes for a pretty boring job because no one calls corporate offices at night. As long as I answer the phones, I’m allowed to play on the internet (read: blog), watch TV, and read. Last night, once most people were gone from the office, I put on the show that has become my summertime obsession: Jon and Kate Plus 8. For those of you who are missing out on this brilliant show, let me give a brief synopsis: Two perfect people named Jon and Kate got married, couldn’t get pregnant on their own, and turned to fertility treatments for help. They had twin girls, and luckily one of them is nice. Then Jon and Kate wanted one more baby, but they accidentally had six at once, all of whom are perfect and adorable little biracial children. The show is about nothing more than their daily life, but somehow it is absolutely riveting. You can find a marathon on TLC pretty much every day. My sister got me hooked during a marathon back at the beginning of the summer, and I’m officially addicted. For a while, I was embarrassed about this addiction, but I’ve discovered that pretty much everyone secretly loves the show. I was most comforted to learn that my friend’s 26-year-old boyfriend and his roommates watch it whenever they can.

The point is, I love Jon and Kate. That’s why last night, when the head security guy at my work tried to tell me that Jon and Kate are bad parents, I took serious personal offense. I think that the Jon and Kate Debate of ’08 (don’t judge me, I’m really bored) got me even angrier than the heated two-hour political discussion that followed it. (A sample: Him: “Ohh I guess you’re one of those people who believes in global warming…” Me: “Global warming is not Santa Claus! It’s not the notion that Jesus rose from the dead! It’s not something you BELIEVE in, it’s scientific fact!”) I won’t go into any more details, but let the record show that the Gosselins deserve to be sainted, the show is genius, and I currently plotting to kidnap Aaden. Also, I might have to marry an Asian man so that my kids look like that. To put ourselves in an even better mood leading into this three-day weekend, let’s look at more pictures of my favorite TV family:

Aaden, come with me. I have candy.

Eeee!!

 Aaden, come with me. I have candy.

P.S. Kathleen says she is going to write a post about how Jon and Kate don’t love each other. But don’t listen to her. She’s lying and she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Jon and Kate are perfect.

[Posted by Mallory]

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by | June 28, 2008 · 2:35 pm

hey, karen? you are the coolest.

Over winter break this year, a few of my friends and I holed up in our friend Doobie’s house for a wonderful few days of what we now call “Camp Nowhere.” His parents were out of town, so we had the house to ourselves and felt as excited as little kids who are accidentally left without supervision. Among other things, during these few days we all got addicted to the Showtime series Californication. Now I’d never so much as heard of the show, but in one day, we all became so addicted that we watched all twelve episodes in a row. The show has sex, drugs, a lot of snarkiness, and even some rock ‘n’ roll. What more could a girl ask for?

Over the past few days, I’ve been forcing Kelsey to watch the show, and I’m proud to say that now that she’s seen the entire season, she’s hooked. Hands down, the best person in the show is Karen, David Duchovny’s character’s ex-“wife” (they were never actually married). She is my new idol, and I think it’s universally accepted that she’s the coolest person ever. She’s got great hair, great clothes, she’s tall (we tall girls have to stick together, you know), and I’ll even concede that her tattoos are cool. Plus, her sunglasses have sent my friend Katie on a quest to find “Karen sunglasses.” Is that creepy? We don’t care. (Speaking of creepy, the lights in the office I’m working in just went off…dun dun dun…) And Karen is the perfect antidote to all of the horrible girls in the show, like Mia (WHORE) and Dani (also a whore).

Let’s look at how cool Karen is:

What up Ktray

Hi Hank

I want to be you

I WANT TO BE HER. Or at least I’d like to have all of her jackets.

Of course, Karen is a real person, and her name is Natascha McElhone, and she seems just as cool in real life as in the show. But in my stalking of Karen/Natascha, I discovered terrible, terrible news. Turns out, Natascha’s 42-year-old husband, plastic surgeon Martin Kelly, randomly dropped dead of a heart attack about a month ago. And to make it worse, Karen is pregnant with their third child. So, at the risk of sounding like one of those creepy fan blogs (although I suppose it’s too late for that…), send your happiest, most sympathetic rays of thought out to the McElhones. So sad!

[Posted by Mallory]

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