Monthly Archives: June 2008

hey, karen? you are the coolest.

Over winter break this year, a few of my friends and I holed up in our friend Doobie’s house for a wonderful few days of what we now call “Camp Nowhere.” His parents were out of town, so we had the house to ourselves and felt as excited as little kids who are accidentally left without supervision. Among other things, during these few days we all got addicted to the Showtime series Californication. Now I’d never so much as heard of the show, but in one day, we all became so addicted that we watched all twelve episodes in a row. The show has sex, drugs, a lot of snarkiness, and even some rock ‘n’ roll. What more could a girl ask for?

Over the past few days, I’ve been forcing Kelsey to watch the show, and I’m proud to say that now that she’s seen the entire season, she’s hooked. Hands down, the best person in the show is Karen, David Duchovny’s character’s ex-“wife” (they were never actually married). She is my new idol, and I think it’s universally accepted that she’s the coolest person ever. She’s got great hair, great clothes, she’s tall (we tall girls have to stick together, you know), and I’ll even concede that her tattoos are cool. Plus, her sunglasses have sent my friend Katie on a quest to find “Karen sunglasses.” Is that creepy? We don’t care. (Speaking of creepy, the lights in the office I’m working in just went off…dun dun dun…) And Karen is the perfect antidote to all of the horrible girls in the show, like Mia (WHORE) and Dani (also a whore).

Let’s look at how cool Karen is:

What up Ktray

Hi Hank

I want to be you

I WANT TO BE HER. Or at least I’d like to have all of her jackets.

Of course, Karen is a real person, and her name is Natascha McElhone, and she seems just as cool in real life as in the show. But in my stalking of Karen/Natascha, I discovered terrible, terrible news. Turns out, Natascha’s 42-year-old husband, plastic surgeon Martin Kelly, randomly dropped dead of a heart attack about a month ago. And to make it worse, Karen is pregnant with their third child. So, at the risk of sounding like one of those creepy fan blogs (although I suppose it’s too late for that…), send your happiest, most sympathetic rays of thought out to the McElhones. So sad!

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under celebrities, crushes, fashion, RIP, TV

just six words and a picture.

The Israel Edition, courtesy of Sarah’s Birthright trip (and no, these words don’t count):

What’s a baby party without cigs?

[Posted by Mallory]

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so, read any good books lately?

Librarians are sexy

Most people who know me are aware of the fact that buried under my fun, outgoing, beautiful, generally perfect exterior is the heart of a raging nerd. When given the opportunity, this nerd can go full force. (Most of my friends are like this, too, so I’m in good company.) In the summertime, when I have a lot more free time than I do during the school year, reading (second, perhaps, to drinking outside) is my favorite pastime. Maybe because I just finished a book that I absolutely loved, I feel like telling you people about some of my favorite books so far this summer. I’m adding my own cry-meter ranking for each of these books, because, while Kathleen medically can’t produce tears (seriously), I am gifted with the ability to cry at anything. I happen to think that it’s a good thing for a book to be so good that it brings me to tears. Some of my more notable cries: during an episode of Dancing with the Stars, when all the Spice Girls were there to cheer on Ginger Spice; during an episode of Lizzie McGuire; while watching the end of a marathon (with completely able-bodied runners, mind you); through the entirety of P.S. I Love You; etc. I once even fell asleep for all of Armageddon, then woke up during the sad part and immediately began sobbing. The point is, I cry a lot (I have an overactive heart, right Madeline?), so in honor of that I will be ranking these on a scale of one to five Christians (as in the lion, not the religious group; one being wet eyes and five being audible, full-body sobs). Here we go:

Water for Elephants, by Sara Gruen — Even though I prefer my Sarah’s with an h, I’ll allow this particular Sara. I finished this book last night, so of course it’s currently my favorite. In a few words, it’s about a circus. In a few more words, it’s about a great love story, an old man you’ll absolutely adore, an elephant that makes you wish that somehow you could actually have an elephant for a pet, and more. It’s a great read…not an insanely quick one, but not one you have to force yourself to get through. [4 Christians]

Infidel, by Ayaan Hirsi Ali This is a pretty intense read, but it’s well worth your while. I’m fascinated by Muslim culture, so I’m a huge fan of books that deal with the topic (i.e. Nine Parts Desire, by Geraldine Brooks, and The Kite Runner and A Thousand Splendid Sunsby Khaled Hosseini…you may have heard of him). The book is the true story of the author’s life, from growing up in a strict Muslim family in Africa to escaping to the Netherlands and becoming a member of their parliament. Her writing is somewhat journalistic, but her stories are larger than life. It’s interesting to see Ayaan’s transition from a devout Muslim to a non-believer, and her reasoning behind that transition. An excellent, thought-provoking novel. [2 Christians]

The Secret Life of Bees, by Sue Monk KiddLent to me by my friend Annie, this is one of those books that I’ve been wanting to read for a long time, and I’m glad I finally got around to it. It tells the story of a young girl growing up in South Carolina in 1964 who, with her black nanny, Rosaleen, escapes from her abusive father and is taken in by three black sisters. The young girl, Lily, learns all about beekeeping, and starts to learn more about her mother, who died when she was young. Because of the setting, this book reminds me of To Kill a Mockingbird. [2 Christians]

Firefly Lane, by Kristin Hannah— This sizable novel traces the lives of two best friends, Kate and Tully, through middle school, college, careers, and family life. It’s a really fast read, and — I think — a must read for any girl who’s pondered the career v. family dilemma. Great book for lounging poolside. [5 Christians]

Nineteen Minutes, by Jodi PicoultI finally broke down an read a Jodi Picoult book. I resisted partly because I was being a book snob, but after my sister told me about the plot of this one, I decided to give it a shot. Picoult is a great, easy-to-read writer, and I loved this story about a school shooting in a small town in New Hampshire. It tells the story from a variety of perspectives, and I was impressed that Picoult makes you consider every character’s perspective. You’ll close the book empathizing with all of the characters, and you’ll think twice about the way our society handles school shootings. [4 Christians]

So uh, thanks for humoring my inner book critic. If you decide to take some of my recommendations, enjoy, and let me know what you think!

[Posted by Mallory]

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youtube clip of today: awww, christian!

I was the girl in the movie theater that laughed during Titanic. I usually don’t cry. Perhaps it’s the dramatic music throughout the clip (my apologies for that, I’ve tried to avoid this song since it was notoriously overplayed during summer 1998), or the message at the end (it’s true, I do love you…and apparently viralvideo.com loves me), but this video brought a tear to my eye. I’ve often dreamed about something like this happening to me, but I’m usually in Narnia and dressed like a princess. Um, enjoy.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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geez louise, jennifer, please slow down!

I don’t really like driving in the car with my mother. When she reminds me to “slow DOWN, Kathleen” or “there’s a stop sign 50 feet ahead”, I remind her that I have been driving since 2002. SO THERE! Now that VH1 has ‘I Love the New Milennium” (why, Hal Sparks, why?!), I feel as if my age has been validated and 2002 is just as far off as “I Love the 80s”. Anyway, my mother always calls me out on speeding. Today, I will be victorious when I show her this!

Jennifer Bitton, you speed demon! She was caught speeding 22 times within a 45 day period by a camera in Scottsdale, Arizona. With speeds going up to 92 MPH! GASP! Umm…has anyone driven in New Jersey? It practically says 92 MPH on the speed limit signs. Anyway, Jennifer is in a wee bit of trouble because of this. I doubt if she had been pulled over by real cops she would have this many tickets. Because, you know, as her mugshot shows, she is fairly cute? By the way, she lives in Las Vegas. Draw your own conclusions.

But right now she’s in jail, and will most likely have to serve some mandatory jail time and pay fees. That sucks.

Here is what bothers me the most–none of the news stories answer the question WHY she was speeding. Was she late for work every day? (Understandable.) Was she late for some sort of class? (Pretty understandable.) Was she just having uncontrollable cravings for the Baconator at Wendy’s? (Absolutely understandable.)

I need answers! Tell us, Jennifer! The world needs to know!

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under definitely not politics, news, random

white owl, won’t you be mine?

My little sister is an undergrad at the University of Kansas (rock chalk!), and we’re going to have to disown her because she didn’t get her hands on this guy first:

White Owl

Dear readers, meet White Owl (the Casanova on the left). White Owl is beloved by Jayhawk fans and many consider him to be Kansas’ number one fan. My sister even tells me that Coach Mangino, who led the Jayhawk football team to their best season ever, thinks that White Owl was their good luck charm. According to my sister, White Owl likes to hang out on the KU campus singing and dancing and showing the students what they might be like after 45+ years of recreational drug use. He’s especially loved for his antics at basketball games (please notice how frightened the girl next to him looks):

But hang onto your hearts, ladies, because he’s off the market. After a month-long courtship, White Owl got engaged to Julia Lee, a KU undergrad who is (are you sitting down?) 39 years his junior. The two knew it was love after only one week, according to Julia, and even though not everyone understands their relationship (Julia’s poor, poor mother, for instance), those who know them well are happy for them. I hate to quote nearly an entire article (from the Daily Kansan), but I think their how-we-met story is worth sharing in its entirety:

The two have only known each other a little more than a month but White Owl said he felt they were destined to be together. He first noticed Julia at the end of last semester when she was standing around Wescoe Beach. White Owl said he sensed she was missing something in her life.

“I saw an injured spirit and I am all about helping people and being a light,” White Owl said, “I prayed that night that she would be sent to me somehow.”

White Owl’s prayers were answered. The next day, White Owl was a guest speaker in Julia’s “American Studies” class. White Owl talked to the class about believing in themselves and loving one another. After class, Julia told White Owl how much his message meant to her.

And the rest is history. They were inseparable from that moment on, and even though he’s been married twice before (and has two sons), White Owl says that he has not “felt this love as a person since [his] mother babied [him].” Want to see some photos of the happy couple?

Love

More? I thought so…

If you can’t attend their wedding in at the end of the summer — to which everyone is invited — hopefully you can catch them at Wakarusa Festival in Lawrence, Kansas…White Owl says the couple hopes to form a band and perform next year.

[Posted by Mallory]

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and on this day in history…

Nice rhetoric, JFK

On this date 45 years ago, President John F. Kennedy famously declared “Ich bin ein Berliner” to a crowd of Germans in West Berlin. (And, from a nerdy rhetorical perspective, was able to successfully identify with his audience, thus enhancing his credibilty. Right, Dr. Achter?)

So yeah, bring that historical tidbit to your Thursday night happy hour. (Or, if your happy hour fell through, you can stay home and read the 1963 article here.)

[Posted by Mallory]

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yo, this is my new face-lift.

Inject me, doctor

According to this article from today’s New York Times, in order to defray costs for their patients and to tap into some (almost) free, very personal advertising, some plastic surgeons have started offering cash incentives for patients who choose to put videos of their surgeries on YouTube. Aside from the major EW factor (which, as someone who tends to be against plastic surgery and who can’t so much as stand the surgery scenes in Nip/Tuck, I find pretty damn creepy), there are all sort of ethical questions. The main question is how much trust potential patients can put in these videos when the person raving about the treatment has been paid to rave. In some cases, it’s no small chunk of change: one Beverly Hills surgeon discounted a woman’s face-lift from $12,000 to $3,800 in exchange for the patient posting her before-and-after video on YouTube. Wowza.

I’m too chicken too watch any major surgeries, but at your own risk of boredom, take a look at this Botox video. If you want to actually see the injection, which is just as boring as the rest, go to about 3:00 minutes in. 

Didn’t think cosmetic surgery could ever be so boring, did ya?! Also, I love that this woman’s hair is stuck in the ’80s, even though her cosmetic medical treatments are totally modern.

One New York doctor, who pays his patients significantly less to go public than the Beverly Hills surgeon, doesn’t see the money as having any major ethical effect on the advertising. I love this quote:

“If it were truly a conflict of interest, then 90 percent of the patients would do it because it would be so worth their time,” Dr. Chynn said. “New Yorkers are so busy. They’re not in Kansas. We’re not talking about Dorothy and Toto.”

Um, touche? (And way to make an insulting, confused blanket statement about Midwest there, Dr. Chynn.) But with costs of plastic surgery so high, it’s no wonder that many people disagree with Dr. Chynn. In fact, one of his patients (who underwent Lasek surgery, which is different from Lasik in ways that I don’t care to get into/don’t understand), essentially said that he’d do the promotional video no matter what the circumstances were: “I’ll do anything to save money,” he said.

I suppose that you could argue that the discounted costs are making this whole plastic surgery thing a little more egalitarian. (Face-lifts and breast implants aren’t just for Hollywood’s rich and famous anymore! Now even you frumpy Kansas women, with all that time on your hands, can go under the knife too!) Personally, I think it’s just plain weird.  But who knows? Maybe when I get all wrinkly and have real bills to pay, I’ll appreciate the discount, and the fifteen minutes of fame.

P.S. One of the patients interviewed for the article is named Jiffy Reed. Got a thing for peanut butter, there Mom and Dad?

[Posted by Mallory]

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just be back by september, guys.

Touche

After a grueling spring semester with no new episodes of The Office or Ugly Betty due to a writers’ strike that I only partially understood (although the picture above does a pretty good job of explaining things), it looks like actors may be poised to strike this summer.  Now, I don’t know a whole lot about unions, or strikes in general (except my mom’s own experience with striking nurses a while ago, and all I remember from that is that she was pissed because she didn’t want to strike), but it seems like an actor’s list of grievances would pale in comparison to the grievances of, say, a coal miner. And on top of that, how do they expect people to survive without television? If I can’t hang out with Jim Halpert and Betty Suarez and Eli Stone, what I am I supposed to do? Talk to REAL people? Go outside?? This is the 21st century, people. We need our TV.

At least we have Netflix. Netflix and Blush Chablis.

[Posted by Mallory]

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just six words and a picture.

Colbert, your face is on notice.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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