Every time I see a Louis Vuitton bag I just assume that it’s fake and you bought it on the street for 40 bucks. I can’t tell if you paid the full price for it, and I don’t care. Americans LOVE buying the fake stuff. I bought a fake Longchamp bag in Turkey for 12 bucks. (Because it was fake, I pronounced it Long Champ…like it SHOULD be pronounced. Silly French.) Anyway, whenever people would compliment my bag, I’d automatically tell them it was a fake. I mean, why should I pretend like it was real? That is my pet peeve about counterfeit items–when people act like they’re real.
My pet peeve is one of the reasons I have great admiration for a new shopping center in China. This shopping center is all about counterfeit items and is totally unapologetic. They proudly and purposefully spell things differently so as to avoid legal trouble, and it is HILARIOUS. God love ’em. For example, you can eat a pizza at a Pizza Huh. Huh? I mean, what? No, not a Pizza Hut, a Pizza Huh. Regardless, I’m sure you still have the shits “stomach issues” for hours post-gorge. After your delicious fake pizza, you can enjoy a fake coffee at Bucksstar and buy a “Naik” sweatshirt. Just do it! No but seriously, would you do it? For pictures and a legitimate news story, click here.
Are the Chinese on to something? Is the answer to consumerism, or is it perpetuating it? Whoa deep thoughts. I need something mindless…maybe I’ll catch up on some GG. You know you love me.
Yes, it is Christmas eve and I am blogging. What of it? But I have to share this with the world. In case you didn’t know, the best movie EVER is on the teevee for a solid 24 hours straight. Twenty-four hours of “A Christmas Story”? YES PUHLEASE! I’ll watch it inbetween meals. So turn on TBS. This movie makes me laugh so hard I cry. The scene with the leg lamp? PRICELESS!
Fa ra ra ra ra, ra ra ra ra!
Also, in case you wanted to keep tabs on the big guy in red, the North American Aerospace Defense Command, or NORAD, has a Santa tracker going. As of right now, he’s in between the South Pole and South America. He best be getting to the US of A tonight! Specifically, my house.
The Beverly Center in LA gives you two choices when it comes to your mall Santa. Naughty or nice. So you can go sit on bowl full of jelly Santa’s lap, or you can sit on six-pack Santa’s lap. Meet Eli Wilhide, pictured above, this year’s Hunky Santa. RAWR! Only in California! But I think this should be a feature at every mall.
And, just because I can, here is one of my favorite Christmas songs. Sometimes it makes me produce tears.
We all have hobbies. I like to think of mine as travel (because that sounds cool), but it’s probably reading US Weekly and the Huffington Post nonstop. For Jim Bob Duggar and his wife, Michelle, I would venture to say that their hobby is having babies. The Duggars just welcomed their 18th child into their crazy world. Little Jordyn-Grace Makiya was born on December 19. Now I love babies. I coo at every one I see. I love the little clothes, the little shoes, etc. Perhaps I’ll have one or two in my lifetime. But my god, the thought of 18 babies WITH NO INTENTION OF STOPPING makes me a little queasy. Yes, Jim Bob told the press “We both would love to have more”. Sure, buddy. Michelle Duggar has been having children for over 20 years. And as if it couldn’t get any more bizarre, here are their names and ages.
Joshua, 20
Jana, 18
John-David, 18
Jill, 17
Jessa, 16
Jinger, 14
Joseph, 13
Josiah, 12
Joy-Anna, 11
Jeremiah, 9
Jedidiah, 9
Jason, 8
James, 7
Justin, 6
Jackson, 4
Johannah, 3
Jennifer, 1
Jordyn-Grace, 0
ALL J NAMES? WHY WHY WHY? (Ginger with a J? Seriously?) You could probably guess this by the freakshow nature and all the babies, but the Duggars have their own show on TLC. It’s called ‘Seventeen and Counting’. That’s original. But will they have to change the name now? This family seems a little strange. I’ll take ‘Jon & Kate Plus 8’ anyday. They are awesome.
Besides the holiday cheer and all that jazz, one of the things I adore the most about this time of year is the end of year wrap-ups. It’s true. I would watch the E! Channel’s “Top 20 Celebrity Haircuts with Bangs of 2008” if it was on. Really, I would. But this is far more interesting than celebrity hair cuts with bangs, I hope. Here is the link to the top 20 mugshots of 2008. I’ve posted one of my favorites. Doesn’t it just make you feel better about yourself? Happy Holidays!
It’s me, Kathleen, your long lost backpacking blogger. I’m back from South America and I look tan! Wooohooo! I went to five countries in 32 days, had “stomach issues” and saw flamingos. Some other stuff too, I guess. Now this is going to sound lame, but one of the things I missed most while away was writing for this blog. Obviously though, M and M held down the fort quite well. In fact, I’m happy to still have a “job” with this blog. And a job it will be, because I still do not have a real one. Haha.
It’s good to be back!
Oh, and just because it’s Wednesday, here is a special edition South American adventure Machu Picchu hump day cry face. (Yes, it was taken with a timer. What of it?):
Today is one of those days where it’s just too cold to be out in public. I was not dressed for the weather and nearly froze to death when I stepped outside to walk home, and that made the decision for me that I will not be going out tonight. I think.
See, the problem is that I don’t really have anything to do if I stay home. My roommate isn’t here and I’m not all that into the book I’m reading and I’m one of those people who gets bored really, really quickly. And when I’m left alone and bored for too many hours, I start to get all emo and watch weird depressing music videos on iTunes and email my best friend asking her if she’ll marry me if I’m still alone at 30. Which is all well and good, except too much emo music makes me go a little nuts and I don’t particularly want to marry a girl.
Spending time in the real world tends to cure my emo-ness, and thank goodness I was forced out into that real world to work today. (I know! I worked! Like a real grownup!) For a large chunk of the day, I was uploading things to my program’s website, and I got this weird sense of power. Like, I could RUIN LIVES by posting embarrassing things. And then I remembered that I already have my own website, and that I tend to prefer embarrassing myself.
Besides getting out of your own head or maybe reading about people who have actual problems, this video is a pretty good cure for being a hot emo mess:
I’m sorry, I know. But that video is hilarious. I’m a little bit in love with Andy Samberg:
He wears nerdy glasses, too!
Hmm. In my situation, Andy Samberg would probably go out.
The harassment continued today in a group email, this one sent by SWTCTW operative “Fannie”:
p.p.s. Forget “grad school” and “finals” don’t you think Mal should get back with the program and start updating her blog with the frequency we who troll the internet have come to expect?!?!
Sigh. The public shaming worked. I only have three more days of papering (hooray!), but in that time I will try to maintain my blogging duties. Just to prove to you all how exciting my life has been the past few days, here is a random list of what I did today:
1. Woke up, ate a bowl of cereal and a peanut butter ball for breakfast, and danced around in my underwear to “All I Want for Christmas is You.”
2. Ate 14 cookies. (I’m serious. We have a thing called “Cookie Fest” going on this week. Be jealous.)
3. Listened to this song, um, a LOT:
4. Tried to figure out what that song means. Consensus from the Internets is that it’s about love lost/broken hearts/an ending relationship/etc. etc.
5. Read a lot about youth and peacebuilding.
6. Was loud in the quiet study room.
7. Ate 14 more cookies.
8. Cried while watching a NYTimes video analysis of It’s a Wonderful Life.
MY LIFE IS BORING AND MY SNARK IS GONE. I blame the cookies. The cookies have stolen my snark.
The following gchat message is representative of many angry messages we’ve been receiving lately:
Mouse: your blog is ruining my life
i knowww you’re busy with like school and finals and those ridiculous things, but i like check it every 10 mins thinking that it’s magically going to have new thigs to entertain me with and all i see is whatever animal that is, AND Dooce and Caroline have been slacking too… am i being forced to actually do work by the blogosphere?
The answer, dear Mouser, is probably YES. But I’d like to take this opportunity to apologize, and tell all of you, dear readers, that it might be like this for the next week or so. You see, in grad school they want us to do things like “write papers” and “take finals.” These silly things take up a lot of time, and I am sorry for my bloggy absence. I’ll do the best I can.
You end a sentence/phrase with a preposition, your AP English teacher has a heart attack. You arrange a sentence/phrase so that it doesn’t end in a preposition, you sound like an elitist douche. When given the choice, I’ll obviously go for the latter.
Anyway, seeing that Madeline (the “guest” slash obviously permanent blogger) has beat me to breaking our dry spell, I was overwhelmed with Catholic guilt. Friends, it’s not that I haven’t wanted to blog in the past few days. I really have. It’s just that I’ve been too overwhelmed with work, to the point that blogging would have caused me even more Catholic guilt. So I cut my losses.
Now that I’m home on break, I have a little more time on my hands. In light of the upcoming holiday o’ food, I’ve decided to share a random list of some things for which I am thankful. In no particular order…
1. Stovetop stuffing. And while we’re at it, the cranberry sauce that looks like the can in which it came (now I’m super paranoid about the preposition thing, dammit). We’re not exactly fancy in my family.
2. Michael Franti. I saw him for the first time back in July, and I fell further in love with him when I saw him at the 9:30 Club in DC last Wednesday. Even if you think you wouldn’t like his music, I’d encourage you to go to one of his concerts. He has an amazing ability to put on the BEST SHOW EVER. His energy is just unbelievable. It didn’t hurt that he made me laugh, made me cry, and made me chant “Barack Obama” all in the span of three hours. And perhaps most impressively, Mr. Franti makes me feel like I’m a good dancer, even when I’m sober (!!!). Take a look at my favorite song off of his newest album:
If you don’t like that song, you should probably just give up on life. You clearly don’t have a soul.
3. While we’re thinking about him, Barack Obama. And Michelle, Malia, and Sasha. Also Joe and Jill Biden.
4. That my finger didn’t entirely fall off today at the nail salon. The entire story would call for a blog post in itself, but I’ll just say that it involved a bloody electric buffer, a sadistic manicurist, and sanitation standards that would have made a cockroach shudder.
5. My ability to entertain myself. My friend Rachel thinks that I could have my own reality show because of the embarrassing shit I do in the privacy of my own space. I’m not sure I agree with her (although, hey, people do watch The Real Housewives of Atlanta), but I am grateful for this skill of mine. The other day, for instance, I caught myself singing “99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall.” Out loud. In a British accent. Riiiight.
6. That I’m not pregnant.
7. That I’m not morbidly obese. (I honestly think about this on a daily basis.)
8. Goat cheese, breakfast sandwiches, salsa, bourbon, etc. etc.
14. The fact that I can make this ridiculous list, because it means that all of the important stuff (health of friends, family, etc.) are already there.
six words to change the world. 