Category Archives: crushes

and it’s peace, man, cool, yeah.

This weekend, I was up in NYC visiting friends, and on Friday night I saw Joshua Radin (!!!) in concert. I was crazy excited about seeing him. He put on a good live show, brought Ingrid Michaelson out with him to duet on “Sky,” and we hooked up after the show. Most of that is true. Speaking of Ingrid Michaelson, she wasn’t wearing pants on stage. She had a longish sweater on (just BARELY covered her ass-thigh junction) with tights. Ribbed, partially see-through tights.

Ladies, do I need to say it again? Leggings are not pants. They should not be worn as though they are pants. And if LEGGINGS are not pants, it logically follows that PARTIALLY SHEER TIGHTS are ALSO not pants. Ingrid, I think you are wonderful and witty and very talented, but that does not exempt you from these rules. I hate pants as much as the next person (and probably more) but unfortunately, they’re a necessity. And Girl I Saw in Penn Station? It should go without saying that these rules apply to leather leggings as well.

But I digress. Back to the concert. My friends and I were there to see Joshua Radin, but I ended up really enjoying the other two acts as well. Jesse Harris opened, and he was great — a little dude in a flannel shirt playing a banjo. Here’s a sample of his stuff:

My friend Madeline and I stalked him a little the next day, and discovered that though Mr. Harris may have just been a rando dude in a flannel shirt to us, he’s pretty legit in the music business. In fact, he’s a Grammy-winner, and wrote Norah Jones’ “Don’t Know Why.” Pretty cool, eh?

The show was a double-headliner kind of thing, with Joshua and Dar Williams. I previously felt sort of “meh” about Dar Williams, but I like her a lot more after seeing her live. She closed with this song:

It’s probably the most adorable song I’ve ever heard, and it (clearly) made me cry. I had a lot of babysitters that I was close to, and I’ve been close to a lot of the kids I’ve watched, so this song really gets to me. It’s strange how for a few years, kids can have an incredibly significant relationship with their sitters, only to have both parties grow up and never see each other again. 

Okay enough nostalgia for tonight. I have books about child abuse to read, hooray!

UM MAJOR P.S. Look what I found!

[Posted by Mallory]

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t minus two days until history.

I should be out celebrating the four-day weekend and impending inauguration of my dear Barry with the rest of the District, but instead I’ve gotten sucked into watching yet another House marathon. It seems that every Sunday night for the past, oh, twelve Sundays, I’ve been glued to the teevee watching the delightful drama of Gregory House and crew. It’s weird, because I’ve never watched an entire season or enough shows in a row to get in tune with the relationships between all the characters, but it’s such an addicting show that it really doesn’t matter. (And I’ve watched enough to gather that Cameron and House almost had a thing, or maybe they did have a thing? Where are those episodes?!)

Because I’ve been watching so much House, it’s always a huge shock to me when I’m reminded that Hugh Laurie is English. I mean, who knew he really sounded like this?

So much more likable! I wonder if he gets really, really sick of faking the American accent of a very angry dude. 

In other news, there’s um, some pretty exciting stuff happening this week. I’m not nearly as excited as I feel like I should be, except for random moments of joy where I’m all “Oh my god…next week at this time George Bush will no longer be our President.” Won’t you just feel calmer and happier knowing that he’s out of the picture? I know I will.

I’m one of those poor, common DC residents who doesn’t have tickets to any fancy balls and who doesn’t get to be close enough to the actual inauguration ceremony to ask Malia and Sasha if they want me to be their new babysitter. But still, I’m really freaking glad to be in DC right now. The sheer fact that we all get Tuesday off is exciting; it’s like we get a snow day and the rest of the country doesn’t. (Suckaaas.)

Of course, we do have to deal with the four bajillion people who are apparently coming for the Big Day. I’m a leetle nervous for that. As of now, my inaugural plans are to attend a cheesy Obama-themed party tomorrow night (think Barackli and Cheese and Sloppy Joe Bidens) and then brave the crowds with the rest of the world tomorrow. I’m still crossing my fingers that a front row ticket will turn up and I’ll get to hold Michelle’s mom’s hand throughout the ceremony. I’ll keep you posted.

In other other news, I get to see Joshua Radin in concert in NYC on Friday! So if things this week aren’t exciting as I want them to be, I can always try to get Joshua to fall in love with me this weekend. 

Sometimes my friends tell me I’m delusional. Sometimes I think they’re right.

[Posted by Mallory]

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behind the mystery lies a truth…

On this fine Sunday, I had the pleasure of seeing one Kathleen Shea Blogger. In fact, it was the first time we’ve been together since we began this here blog. We had brunch with our friends, chatted, had a naked pillow fight, etc. We also went to see The Reader with our friend Norah.

The Reader is the third movie I’ve seen in the past few weeks that I wasn’t originally intending to see. I saw Slumdog Millionaire because I missed Four Christmases, Seven Pounds because The Curious Case of Benjamin Button was sold out, and now The Reader because Milk was sold out. Someone’s really screwing with my movie schedule, but luckily I’ve loved each of these three movies.

I had some vague ideas of what The Reader was about, and I’d heard that it got good reviews. I’m no film buff, but I quite liked it, and I thought Kate Winslet, Ralph Fiennes, and newcomer David Kross were all phenomenal. It’s a twisted, sad movie, but I thought it was original and thought-provoking. 

The questions of justice that the film brings up were most interesting for me. Modern law requires an assignment of guilt or innocence with no real middle ground, and this movie illustrates just how complex and contrived that requirement can be. My inability to come to terms with the whole black-and-white aspect of law is part of the reason I decided not to go to law school. I’m bad at making decisions to begin with, and even if assigned a side, I think I’d struggle to be 100% on that side. (There are exceptions, of course, and I’m oversimplifying our legal system, but you get what I mean. I hope.)

On a lighter, creepier note, I finally understood exactly what my cougar friend means when she looks at a younger guy and says she wants to give him a bath. Not that I don’t still find that statement totally creepy (you heard me, Cougar Friend), but I got a little embarrassed when I formed a huge crush on David Kross, the young Michael in this movie, and then discovered that he is only 18. Here’s the only picture I found of him where he looked as if he’d hit puberty (he’s on the left, clearly):

Yeah he still looks young. I feel dirty. But whatever, suburban moms totally have crushes on the Jonas brothers, right?

And let’s just pause and remember how fabulous Kate Winslet is, even when she’s just hanging around with her kid:

I’ve had a few strangers tell me I look like Kate Winslet, and I every time I see a picture of her or watch one of her movies I try and I try to force myself to see the likeness, and I simply don’t see it. The face is a stretch, and our bodies…well, let’s just say I don’t see it.

Here’s a preview for The Reader:

If you see it, let us know what you think!

[Posted by Mallory]

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six-pack santa, i’ve been naughty.

hunkysanta-694_edit

The Beverly Center in LA  gives you two choices when it comes to your mall Santa.  Naughty or nice.  So you can go sit on bowl full of jelly Santa’s lap, or you can sit on six-pack Santa’s lap.  Meet Eli Wilhide, pictured above, this year’s Hunky Santa.  RAWR!  Only in California!  But I think this should be a feature at every mall.

And, just because I can, here is one of my favorite Christmas songs.  Sometimes it makes me produce tears.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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smell it your way with bk.

This is for sure going to be the gift of the season.  The Tickle-Me-Elmo for the fat kids…err…or people that just love food as much as I do.  Now this may or may not be a joke, but it’s ridiculous any way and I’m going write about it.  You can now purchase a cologne from Burger King called Flame.

“The WHOPPER sandwich is America’s Favorite burger.  FLAME by BK captures the essence of that love and gives it to you.  Behold the scent of seduction, with a hint of flame-broiled meat.”

Ummm.  Rawr?  I do love a good whopper.  In fact, I have many times stated on the blog that burgers were the reason for my failed vegetarianism.  So given that I love burgers, would I love the faint smell of flame-broiled meat on a man? Hmm. [Insert awkward joke about man meat HERE.]

Even if you are totally repulsed by this concept and want to vom, at least check out the Web Site, it’s funny.  http://www.firemeetsdesire.com/

And if you want to seduce me, maybe try wearing FLAME.  But if Wendy’s comes out with their own line, then go with that.  Especially if it smells like the Baconator.  Oh and you need to have a nice set of buns.  Get it?  Buns?  Burgers?  I’m done.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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baby it’s cold outside. no, seriously.

Today is one of those days where it’s just too cold to be out in public. I was not dressed for the weather and nearly froze to death when I stepped outside to walk home, and that made the decision for me that I will not be going out tonight. I think.

See, the problem is that I don’t really have anything to do if I stay home. My roommate isn’t here and I’m not all that into the book I’m reading and I’m one of those people who gets bored really, really quickly. And when I’m left alone and bored for too many hours, I start to get all emo and watch weird depressing music videos on iTunes and email my best friend asking her if she’ll marry me if I’m still alone at 30. Which is all well and good, except too much emo music makes me go a little nuts and I don’t particularly want to marry a girl. 

Spending time in the real world tends to cure my emo-ness, and thank goodness I was forced out into that real world to work today. (I know! I worked! Like a real grownup!) For a large chunk of the day, I was uploading things to my program’s website, and I got this weird sense of power. Like, I could RUIN LIVES by posting embarrassing things. And then I remembered that I already have my own website, and that I tend to prefer embarrassing myself. 

Besides getting out of your own head or maybe reading about people who have actual problems, this video is a pretty good cure for being a hot emo mess:

I’m sorry, I know. But that video is hilarious. I’m a little bit in love with Andy Samberg:

He wears nerdy glasses, too!

 

Hmm. In my situation, Andy Samberg would probably go out. 

[Posted by Mallory]

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where carrie bradshaw learned her stuff.

All the way back in 1986, Newsweek magazine, in an article titled “Too Late for Prince Charming?” reported on a study that said single women over the age of 40 were more likely to be killed by a terrorist than get married.  This video is the response to that statistic:

There are so many pieces of wonderfully terrible advice in this video that I really just have to let the video speak for itself (although, a small stuffed animal? Really?!).  Even if you think you have gained enough information to make your head explode halfway through, please make sure to watch the video through to the end; the last piece of advice is undoubtedly the best.

[Posted by Madeline]

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obama can’t get through to republicans.

Literally.  They will not take his calls.  Okay, it’s just the one.  Republican Congresswoman Ileana Ros-Lehtinen hung up on Obama not once . . . but twice yesterday, assuming that it was a prank call. 

Hold the phones (ha).  This woman is the ranking Republican member of the House Foreign Affairs committee, not to mention, um, a congresswoman.  Isn’t it part of her job description to take important phone calls?  But wait . . . there’s more!  Here is an exerpt from the official press release from the office of the congresswoman:

“Cong. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen thought it was a hoax when President-Elect Barak (sic) Obama called her twice today and she proceeded to hang up on him, twice.”

Really?!  I mean, REALLY?!  So, White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel called the Congresswoman to tell her that she had hung up on the President Elect.  Ros-Lehtinen then hung up on him and spelled his name wrong in the press release as well (not to be accused of playing favorites):

“A short time later, Cong. and Chief of Staff designate Rahm Emmanuel (sic) called Ileana and stated ‘Ileana, I cannot believe that you hung up on the President-Elect.’ Ros-Lehtinen told Rahm that she didn’t believe the call was legitimate and hung up on Emmanuel (sic).”

Obama and Ros-Lehtinen were finally able to have a chat about Cuba and Israel (thank goodness he wasn’t calling about anything important . . . ) after Chairman Howard Berman of the Foreign Affairs Committee called the Congresswoman, proved his identity over the phone by sharing a story only the two would know (creepy . . .), and broke the news that she had indeed hung up on the President-Elect.  Twice. 

Once, I accidentally sent an e-mail to the president of my university which accidentally said that I loved him.  That was pretty embarassing but I think hanging up on the President-Elect of the United States twice in one day would be worse.  When Barack calls me and offers me a job (any day now . . . ) I will be sure not to make the same mistake. 

[Posted by Madeline]

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dating advice from a fourth grader.

When I was in elementary school I wrote a “book” about visiting the boardwalk during a storm.  Except that it was actually about visiting the doardwalk because the letter b was hard to wrap my mind around.  Then I wrote a book about a dog named Penny who had puppies.  Both were illustrated by the author.  Neither was any good (of course, my mom would tell you otherwise). 

Alec Greven, a fourth grader at Soaring Hawk Elementary School in Castle Rock, Colorado, has also written a book.  The only difference between his book and my book is that his is a national best seller.  Alec wrote “How to Talk to Girls” when he was eight as part of a school project.  Based on his life experiences and playground observations the book contains such advice as:

Sometimes, you get a girl to like you and then she ditches you.  Life is hard, move on!

Tip: About 73 percent of regular girls ditch boys; 98 percent of pretty girls ditch boys. 

(from Chapter One: The Facts of Life)

It should be noted that those statistics are not national figures, they pertain only to Alec’s observations of girls at Soaring Hawk Elementary.  The book impressed his teacher and principal so much that they decided to sell it for three dollars at the school’s book fair, where it became the fair’s best-seller.  Harper Collins published the book last month and now Alec is dispensing his dating advice to boys of all ages all over the country.  Some of his best advice?

“You also have to be aware that girls win most of the arguments and have most of the power.  If you know that now, things might be easier.”  (Chapter One: The Facts of Life)

That is a fact of life, indeed.  Way to go Alec.  To enjoy all of Alec’s advice you should probably buy his book or ask Santa to bring it to you for Christmas.  In the meantime, enjoy some more of Alec’s innocent wisdom:

Many boys who have crushes don’t know how to act around a girl. Some boys tease girls they like and are mean to them. Some boys say silly things to girls and act goofy. Some boys think they are acting cool by showing off.

This is not a good approach.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

Whatever happens, just don’t act desperate. Girls don’t like desperate boys

. . . . . . . . . . . .

The right thing to do when you have a crush is:

  • Never show off too much
  • Don’t be silly and goofy
  • Control your hyperness (cut down on sugar if you need to)
  • Make sure you have good friends who won’t try to take the girl you like.

 

I know what my brother is getting for Christmas . . .

[Posted by Madeline]

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walcott, this bottleneck is a shit-show.

The other day my friend told me he had an extra ticket to see a band called Vampire Weekend, and did I want to go. I realized that I knew some of their stuff, and after not very long I realized that I LOVE THESE GUYS. They’re the kind of band I feel like I should have already known, and it’s weird to me that a few days ago I hadn’t even heard of them. Let’s call this fate, or something. Here they are:

They are all little babies. They just formed the band in 2006, after they graduated from Columbia, and they’ve already received a ton of critical praise. 

Apparently everyone else already knew about them. Wikipedia tells me that Christian Lander (of Stuff White People Like) named them the whitest band, so I guess I’ve been a pretty bad white person. 

That dude is the lead singer, Ezra Koenig. I think he’s adorable. I love that the band calls their music “African Preppy,” or “Upper West Side Soweto.” Also, how could you not like a band that works the following lyrics into one of their songs: “First the window, then it’s to the wall/Lil’ Jon, he always tells the truth”?

The concert was baller fantastic, and I can’t wait to see them again. I love the whole album, but I think my favorite song is M79. I mean, hellooo Paul Simon:

Yum yum. Now early to bed, so that I can get up and be intellectual.

[Posted by Mallory]

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