True story: at my high school, seniors were allowed to go off campus for lunch. When you drove back into campus from your sweet ass lunch at Quizno’s or the cheap Mexican place, you would drive by all of the lowly underclassmen eating outside. Most seniors would take this opportunity to blare some sort of rap muuuuusick (what was popular then? Usher? Outkast?) and my friends and I vowed that we would never be that obnoxious (or at least not that particular brand of obnoxious). Instead, we would blare ridiculous, embarrassing music, like — you guessed it — Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart.” Those were the days.
Again, with the warm-and-fuzzies! I can’t stop! The lovely Miss Potter sent this video along, and I don’t think it needs much of an introduction, except to say that it goes along this set of photos:
What a LOVELY wedding. (Lovely is the warm-and-fuzzy word of the week.) And could this couple BE any cuter?! She makes me want to chop off my hair and dye it platinum blonde, and he makes me actually sort of almost like seersucker. Needless to say, around about 2:15 in that video, the tears began a-flowin’. An enormous kudos to photographer/videographer Josh Goleman. You done good, Josh. You done good.
I should have written about this yesterday, but I didn’t. So that’s that. When I first heard about it, I thought it was a joke. Former Congressman and Majority Leader Tom Delay is going to join the cast of “Dancing with the Stars”. Perhaps the title should be changed to “Dancing with the Fallen Stars”.
Do you all remember Tom “The Hammer” Delay? I’m a huge fan. No, really, I am. Do I disagree with pretty much all of his positions on the issues? You betcha. But I’m really a fan because he gave us one of the most classic and hilarious high profile mugshots EVER. Smile, Hammer!
Stop... Hammer time!
That smile really just lights up a room, doesn’t it? He looks thrilled.
In case you were wondering, he earned the nickname “The Hammer” because he was particularly fierce as the Majority Whip (the person who gets the party to all vote the same way) for the Republicans in 1995. He became the Majority Leader for the House of Reps in 2003. Then, all this stuff started happening. Perhaps there was a little violation of campaign finance laws, perhaps a little perjury. You know, no big deal. Well, actually, he was indicted, but it still hasn’t come to trial yet. Perhaps that will be part of his dramatic DWTS storyline?
So “The Hammer” will grace us with his dancing skillllllz. He says he and his wife love to dance, and his daughter is a professional dancer. When he was in Congress, Tommy was known for his outspoken opposition to the National Endowment for the Arts. Just throwing that out there.
He will be joined by a bunch of other regular people who were once famous. According to People:
The complete cast for Dancing Season Nine
Mya, singer
Melissa Joan Hart, actress
Michael Irvin, former Dallas Cowboy
Ashley Hamilton, actor, comedian, singer-songwriter
Aaron Carter, singer
Kathy Ireland, former supermodel-turned-businesswoman
Debi Mazar, actress
Natalie Coughlin, U.S. Olympic swimmer
Louie Vito, snowboarder
Chuck Liddell, ultimate fighting champ
Donny Osmond, singer
Tom DeLay, former Republican congressman
Macy Gray, singer
Joanna Krupa, model and actress
Mark Dacascos, Iron Chef personality
Kelly Osbourne, reality star
AARON CARTER?! I’m watching this every week. That is a completely serious statement. And just because I can, I’m going to leave you with the a video of my other favorite dancing Hammer:
Y’all, Brooks and Dunn broke up! According to the AP, the duo talked about their decision to call it quits yesterday at the taping of a CMT (Country Music Television, dur…best country music video marathons ever) show. Don’t get excited about Destiny’s Child-style drama, though: this is an amicable split because they basically ran out of ideas. Kix Brooks and Ronnie Dunn say they “remain good friends and have never had a ‘good fight’ or even yelled at each other.” Aww.
Now, I think country music is awesome in pretty much all its forms. I know some people don’t agree, but I say those people are missing out. (Plus, I’m from Colorado, so cowboys are my people. I have genuine respect for men who can unironically pull off tight jeans, cowboy boots and hat, and a bolo tie.) Country music makes me feel safe and warm and cozy inside, and this song is one of my favorites:
Bye, boys! We — and by “we” I mean “I,” as I don’t think Kathleen would support the sentiments of this post — will miss you.
If you don’t know about these already, I haven’t been doing my job. And for that, I am sorry. I find these to be HILARIOUS. Here is the seventh installment of Auto-Tune the News. Hopefully you find it half as funny as I do. Oh, and below is the sixth installment, which is by far my favorite (Sarah Palin makes an appearance). The rest can be viewed here!
I love the noises the people make as they get body slammed by a mattress. There was one that reminded me of the infamous grape stomper’s “Owww oww oww”. I laughed out loud. All by myself. Happy Friday!
The weekend is within our grasp, friends! Here are some quick and things to look at before you go out for a raging Friday night and Mallory and I roadtrip to New Jersey for a conference with some of our bloggy correspondents (aka our best friends from college…minus a few. You’ll be missed!)
Facebook is turning five years old, and we haven’t gotten tired of it yet. Check out this piece (I may or may not know the journo behind it.) and DEFINITELY watch the video to see a 96-year-old man talk about the single most devastating factor to my college GPA. Click HERE to read the story!
This is weird. All 14-year-old Corby Cowart wanted to do was taste the rainbow. His mother said yes, and he went to grab a bag of Skittles and he found a bag of cocaine in the Skittles box. Yikes. He said he knew what it was because he watches the TV show “COPS”. Dammit, I HATE IT when stupid shows on the teevee actually teach kids stuff. (Please refer to the story about Grayson Wynne) According to Corby and his mama, the manager of the CVS laughed it off. Seriously? The manager disputes the claim. Of course.
Don’t copy that floppy! A hilarious old video to prevent the young folk from copying computer games on the floppy disks. Stunningly bad acting, floppy disks and a Fresh Prince style rapper? Yup, welcome back to the 90s.
Katie Holmes made her much anticipated “So You Think You Can Dance” appearance last night. BORING. Honestly, all she did was walk around and occasionally twirl. And the lip syncing was out of control. Not impressed.
The post is late and it’s Chris’ fault. It’s all his fault. That aside, I am OBSESSED with the Evan and Randi routine. AMAZING!
Hello SWTCTW readers. I’m back – and so is SYTYCD. I was getting a little disappointed with the performances this season. But Wednesday night’s show rocked it. I don’t really have any snarky comments about it.
Randi and Evan – This, for me, is similar to the “bleeding love” number from last season in that I’m going to say that I’m going to learn it – and then I won’t.
So about me not having any snarky comments – you should have known better… Two things:
(1)Seriously, what was the deal with that Russian Folk routine? I think Nigel even recognized that it was a mistake.
(2)Tyce was back as a judge. I don’t know how you all feel, my SWTCTW public, but I think he’s gotten more obnoxious. In addition, his orange juice metaphor may be an early sign that he has contracted PAS. While this is certainly not a confirmed case, the prospect is alarming.
I don’t want to leave you frightened and down – because this week was great. So here’s one more clip:
Kayla and Kupono – Pretty cool. Love Mia Michaels.
Voted off this week: Phillip and Caitlin (I’m shocked too)
six words to change the world. 