Tag Archives: wonkette

when our work’s done for us.

Okay, so I think the story behind this Wonkette headline is a leetle terrifying. First, take a look at the six-word masterpiece:

“Meth-Mouths Jailed In Obama Assassination Plot.”

Um, slighty scary, right? The backstory is that a bunch of strung-out crazies may have been plotting to kill our boy B at his acceptance speech at Invesco on Thursday night. According to CBS 4 News in Denver, so far four people involved in this assassination plot  — Nathan Johnson (pictured above), Tharin Gartrell (also pictured above), Shawn Robert Adolf, and Natasha Gromek (Johnson’s girlfriend) — have been arrested on drug or weapons charges:

One of those suspects spoke exclusively to CBS4 investigative reporter Brian Maass from inside the Denver City Jail late Monday night and said his friends had discussed killing Obama. 

“So your friends were saying threatening things about Obama?” Maass asked. 

“Yeah,” Nathan Johnson replied. 

“It sounded like they didn’t want him to be president?” 

“Yeah,” Johnson said. 

Maass reported earlier Monday that one of the suspects told authorities they were “going to shoot Obama from a high vantage point using a … rifle … sighted at 750 yards.” 

Also,

Sources told CBS4 police found two high-powered, scoped rifles in the car along with camouflage clothing, walkie-talkies, wigs, a bulletproof vest, a spotting scope, licenses in the names of other people and 44 grams of methamphetamine. One of the rifles is listed as stolen from Kansas.

The appropriately named Adolf was wearing a swastika and apparently has ties to a white supremacist organization, and Johnson told the CBS reporter that “He [Obama] don’t belong in political office. Blacks don’t belong in political office. He ought to be shot.”  Riiight, because intelligent white people like Adolf and Johnson are infinitely superior to PERFECT PEOPLE LIKE BARACK OBAMA. 

Now, I’m hoping these guys are just crazy and their brains are broken from a little too much meth, and that this isn’t actually some elaborate, well-planned assassination plot. Because the thought of that makes me very nervous. Hey Barack? Please, PLEASE don’t get shot.

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under news, politics, six word memoirs

stop this giant from mocking god!

 

I’m pretty open about the fact that I’m obsessed with the snarky political commentary site Wonkette. Recently, I’ve been loving their mockery of the American Family Association’s efforts to Boycott McDonald’s. (Background on Wonkette’s mockery here; link to the Boycott McDonald’s website here.) Basically, McDonald’s donated some money to the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce, a bunch of self-righteous, intolerant people got angry, and these people decided to clog their arteries at another establishment. They are encouraging their fellow Christians to boycott America’s favorite fast food restaurant with persuasive, well-written comments like these:

“I`m sorry that you have made the decision that heterosexul folks such as i are not welcome in your resturants any longer. i will not argue your decision. By giving your resturants sapport to the homosexual groups you have told me my believes and lifestyle are not yours and i`m not welcome in your resturants anylonger.”

The group’s latest — and by far, most hilarious — weapon is this gem of a video:

Eh, we were always Wendy’s girls here at SWTCTW.  Mmm, Baconator.

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under family, food, news, YouTube

ice cream trucks should sell these.

Looks like it’s consumer reports day here at Six Words To Change the World. Wonkette reported today that a chef in Alexandria invented a beer popsicle, or “brew pop.” Intriguing, no? Of course, there are all sorts of questions about how on earth these suckers could actually taste good, along with the whole alcohol-doesn’t-freeze thing (although, if you are studying abroad in Italy and buy some sort of cheap peach vodka because your roommates are pussies who can’t drink beer, then that will freeze. Just saying…). But apparently Jeff Morales, the executive chef at Rustico in Alexandria, found a way to make it work, and then Senator Patsy Ticer of Virginia worked very hard to pass a bill making sure these things are legal. I have to hope that if I was a chef, or a senator, I would spend my days toiling away to bring beer popsicles to the masses.

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under random