Monthly Archives: August 2008

an extreme sport in your pocket.

Dear readers, let’s take a break from the insanity that is the Olympics (and a breather from our FURY that Natsia Liukin got second in the uneven bars even though she TIED the Chinese child), and focus on the red-headed stepchild of sports: extreme yo-yo.

You heard me right. The wacky little toy that you loved as a child — despite the fact that your tricks were limited to tossing it up and down really fast (or was that just me?) — is back with a vengeance. The 2008 World Yo-Yo Contest was recently held in Orlando, and perhaps because they aren’t owned by NBC, the New York Times was allowed to cover the event. I should warn you that the article on the contest is at times a little too, er, punny, with gems like these: 

But any national rivalries are just loose slipknots untangled by the Internet, where tricks are traded and friendships are tied.

“They have the language of the string,” Gregory Cohen, the event’s organizer, said.

They have the language of the string? SERIOUSLY, GREGORY?!

Still, I have to admit that it’s a kind of cool sport (hobby?). There are seven different divisions, and each one is pretty nuts. Just try to imagine this:

In 4A, the off-string division, some competitors cast the string, like a whip or a fishing rod, and wrapped it around the axle of an airborne yo-yo. The string-on-string friction was enough for the string to virtually tie itself and snare the spinning yo-yo. It was like watching a frog’s tongue zap a fly.

At first, my brain honestly could not process that. (An off-string yo-yo competition? Isn’t that an oxymoron?) But this video proves that it is not:

Kid’s got skillz. Who needs Warped Tour and skate parks when you’ve got a yo-yo and hundreds of hours of inspirational YouTube videos?

P.S. If you’re feeling frisky (and by frisky I mean bored), take a look at this Web page about yo-yo trivia.

[Posted by Mallory]

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hmm… what ever happened to t.A.T.u.?

So I was driving in the car today when a certain song came on my iPod. This song has been stuck in my head ever since, and I want to lovingly pass it off to you because that might make me feel better.

You’re welcome. HA! (If you’re too chicken to watch the video, it’s “All the Things She Said” by T.A.T.U.) It’s almost as bad as that M.I.A. “Paper Planes” song. Just as I was getting “Paper Planes” out of my head from hearing it every day towards the end of senior year, they go and put it as the promo song for “The Pineapple Express”. Thanks a lot, marketing geniuses/jerks.

Anyway, where did t.A.T.u., the kind of hot Russian are-they-or-aren’t-they-lesbians go? That whole kissing girls thing was totally their gig. And they made quite a blip on the pop culture scene. Because let’s face it, we were prudier back in 2002 than we are now. Here is how I remember the girls:

Girls kissing isn’t my thing, but rawr.

So imagine my surprise when I came across this:

Whoops! The gig is up, apparently! But that is one ballsy chick. Power to her, she’s rocking that prego belly.

Wikipedia tells me that the girls have a CD coming out in September. So they’re still around. And that they never were lesbians. WHATEVER.

It’s a slow news day people, give me a break.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under music, pop culture, random, the arts, YouTube

youtube clip of today: ooh girl.

Courtesy of the Merriman offspring:

You’ve got to appreciate the honesty, eh?

[Posted by Mallory]

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think this will ever get old?

Sooo this isn’t a six-word headline, but I’ll allow it:

“Rice, in Georgia, Calls on Russia to Pull Out Now”

That’s what she said?

[Posted by Mallory]

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game over. lochte is my soulmate.

New York correspondent Lana sent me this video, which proved once and for all that Ryan Lochte and I are destined for each other. Unforunately, it’s not on YouTube, so I can only give you the link. The point is, he loves breakfast sandwiches. Fated, no? And apparently he also loves salt. I can see it now: we’ll be married and I’ll be fat and pregnant, while he’ll still be hot and siwmmer-y. We’ll start every day with a McDonald’s breakfast sandwich, and then go home and do lines of salt off of his gold medals.

Want more? Me too:

That’s the grill he wore while accepting his silver medal at the 2007 World Championships in Melbourne. 

Here’s another video of Lochte after the Olympic Trials:

Perhaps not the most eloquent of speakers, but perfect nonetheless. And those other bitches who think they love him better back the fuck off. He’s mine.

[Posted by Mallory]

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youtube clip of today: hog calling.

This literally leaves me speechless. But let’s commend Doris Probst for being the first woman ever to win the hog calling contest at the Illinois State Fair. Okay, now that’s out of the way. Wait, I’m STILL speechless.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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bad writing can get you somewhere.

New Jersey correspondent Madeline has brought a delightful competition to my attention. Every year, San Jose State University holds its Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest–encouraging people to write their most painfully bad first line to an imaginary book. Why is it called Bulwer-Lytton, you ask? Because Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton (what a name!) is the literary mastermind behind the 1830 novel “Paul Clifford” that forever burdened us with “It was a dark and stormy night”. Thanks for that, Eddie. Let’s also thank this year’s winner, Garrison Spik, for his contribution to society:

Theirs was a New York love, a checkered taxi ride burning rubber, and like the city their passion was open 24/7, steam rising from their bodies like slick streets exhaling warm, moist, white breath through manhole covers stamped ‘Forged by DeLaney Bros., Piscataway, N.J.’

Haha, well done sir! You are a gentleman and a scholar. Here is another epic submission. This one comes from Beth Fand Incollingo:

Like a mechanic who forgets to wipe his hands on a shop rag and then goes home, hugs his wife, and gets a grease stain on her favorite sweater — love touches you, and marks you forever.

HAHA.

In my opinion, to win this competition you either have to be an incredibly corny and bad writer (read: a 13 year old girl…or boy) or a really good writer who knows bad writing (read: remembering your own writing when you were a 13 year old girl…or boy). And just for the record, Mr. Spik and Ms. Incollingo, I put you both in the good writer who knows bad writing category.

Feel free to comment with your best/worst first lines. No prizes, just the SWTCTW glory of being witty. Now I’m going to go reread my old journals in search for literary gems of my own.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under definitely not politics, pop culture, random, the arts

just six words and a picture.

Here is the Chinese Gymnastics team is totally underage edition. (Note: Olympic gymnasts must be at least 16 in the year of the Olympics. Click here to read how China cheated) Below is all the evidence I needed. Haha :

Glitter? Yup. She is DEFINITELY fourteen.

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Filed under news, six word memoirs, sports

we just can’t quit you, hillary.

As you might expect, there’s some news floating around in cyberspace today, so for you, dear readers, I have compiled a roundup:

  • Hillary Clinton’s name will be placed on the nomination at the DNC in Denver. Now, Obama’s okay with this (because he’s a perfect gentleman, duh), but it just doesn’t seem like a good idea to me. Sure, it is nice to “honor” Clinton’s campaign and all of her hard work, but might it be better to present a united front and “honor” the actual presumptive nominee? [Washington Post]
  • “According to an analysis of campaign contributions by the nonpartisan Center for Responsive Politics, Democrat Barack Obama has received nearly six times as much money from troops deployed overseas at the time of their contributions than has Republican John McCain, and the fiercely anti-war Ron Paul, though he suspended his campaign for the Republican nomination months ago, has received more than four times McCain’s haul.” Make your own conclusions, kids. [A bunch of other sources via Wonkette]
  • Streetcars are taking over the country, which is great, because they are good for the environment and make more people move downtown. Downtown Denver already has a free mall ride along 16th Street, and it’s basically a streetcar, and it’s pretty cool. Plus, it feeds my laziness. (Although I do still prefer pedicabs.) [NYTimes]
  • Jared Polis, an openly gay Boulder-ite, won the Democratic primary in Colorado to fill Representative Mark Udall’s Congress seat. “If Mr. Polis is elected to replace [Udall] in November, he would become the third openly gay or lesbian member of Congress.” Hooray for Colorado! You go, Jared! [NYTimes]
  • Last week, some crazo (who calls himself “Mr. Unstable”) took a bath in the utility sink at Burger King. To celebrate his birthday. I’m all for, er, cleanliness, but I tend to put a slightly different spin on the whole birthday celebration thing. Anyway, today the crazo apologized.  Luckily, as I’ve mentioned before, I prefer Wendy’s. [AOL]
  • Apparently the latest trend in eating disorders is “pregorexia,” in which women diet and exercise so much while pregnant that they actually put their baby’s health at risk. Seriously, people?! When I’m pregnant, you can expect to find me immobile on a couch eating as much Ben & Jerry’s and bacon as I can get my hands on. [AOL]
In other news, I’ve become addicted to Craigslist furniture sales. Just thought you should know. 

[Posted by Mallory]

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youtube clip of today: pilobolus dance.

This will amaze you. Just watch.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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