Monthly Archives: December 2008

no cake for you, little adolph.

A bakery in the Dirty Jerz has refused to make a three year old a birthday cake.  That’s terrible, you say. Right?  Well, not as terrible as what I’m going to tell you next.  The three year old’s name is Adolph Hitler.  Yes, as in the worst person ever.  The mini fuhrer’s parents, Heath and Deborah Campbell, named their child Adolph Hitler and then were appalled that the ShopRite bakery refused to write “Happy Birthday Adolph Hitler” on the cake.  I cannot get over this.  How can this be surprising to them?

I wonder if they’ll be surprised when he gets thrown into lockers and beat up in middle school, high school, college, life.

And you think little Adolph has it bad?  He has two sisters…ready?

Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie and JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell.

OUCH.  But back to the bakery and cake in question.

According to the news story,

A spokeswoman for ShopRite said that this was not the bakery department’s first run in with the Campbells – a similar request was denied two years ago when the shop also refused to daub swastikas on baked goods for the family.

Interesting.  But whatever you do, PUHLEASE do NOT call the Campbells racists!  They’re not racists!  Heath Campbell will tell you that Dolphie has black friends AND mixed race friends that even went to his birthday party.  Oooooh, it’s the “I’ve got friends that are x” defense.  Yeah, we’ve heard that one.  It’s like when Sarah Palin defended her hateful anti-gayness by saying she has gay friends.  This defense, we all know, is very weak.

“If we’re so racist, then why would I have them come into my home?” he asked.

I can’t answer that, but rather I ask the question “why would any parent let their child into the Campbells’ home?”

I blame Heath and Deborah completely, so despite having a terrible name, I hope Adolph had a good birthday.  And when he is old enough, I hope he has the desire and courage to change his name.  Maybe to Martin Luther King or something.  That would be awesome.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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and i’m back in the game!

Hello dear readers!

It’s me, Kathleen, your long lost backpacking blogger.  I’m back from South America and I look tan!  Wooohooo!  I went to five countries in 32 days, had “stomach issues” and saw flamingos.  Some other stuff too, I guess.  Now this is going to sound lame, but one of the things I missed most while away was writing for this blog.  Obviously though, M and M held down the fort quite well.  In fact, I’m happy to still have a “job” with this blog.  And a job it will be, because I still do not have a real one.  Haha.

It’s good to be back!

Oh, and just because it’s Wednesday, here is a special edition South American adventure Machu Picchu hump day cry face. (Yes, it was taken with a timer.  What of it?):

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[Posted by Kathleen]

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i’m getting tired, i’m forgetting why.

I first heard The National in The Cellar, my undergrad university’s on-campus bar. I was having a beer there with my friend Heaps, and this song came on. She has some fancy phone where you can play music to the phone, and it can tell you what the song is. (And this was BEFORE the iPhone could do that, I’ll have you know.) The song was “Apartment Story,” and I clearly went home and listened to it on repeat. Be sure to note John Lennon on the drums:

I’ve been listening to some more of The National’s stuff, and I really like all of it. I think it’s because I adore Matt Berninger’s voice. It’s so deliciously deep. Makes me feel like he has a beard, although I’ll settle for the scruff he’s rocking in the video. I’m guessing he could sing some rando song from High School Musical and I’d still be all “ooh, Matt, so scruffy and baritone.” 

Here’s the whole band, just having a cocktail or two at their on-campus bar:

Are you SEEING all that beard-age?

I love music in a way that makes me wish I could express myself through it in some legitimate way. I tried to learn to play the guitar once, but got about as far as “Redemption Song” and then gave up. Maybe I need to try again, or maybe I need to settle for what I have. Which is a great backup singer voice, as long as the music is so loud that you can’t hear me.

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under dance, music, post-college depression, thoughts, YouTube

baby it’s cold outside. no, seriously.

Today is one of those days where it’s just too cold to be out in public. I was not dressed for the weather and nearly froze to death when I stepped outside to walk home, and that made the decision for me that I will not be going out tonight. I think.

See, the problem is that I don’t really have anything to do if I stay home. My roommate isn’t here and I’m not all that into the book I’m reading and I’m one of those people who gets bored really, really quickly. And when I’m left alone and bored for too many hours, I start to get all emo and watch weird depressing music videos on iTunes and email my best friend asking her if she’ll marry me if I’m still alone at 30. Which is all well and good, except too much emo music makes me go a little nuts and I don’t particularly want to marry a girl. 

Spending time in the real world tends to cure my emo-ness, and thank goodness I was forced out into that real world to work today. (I know! I worked! Like a real grownup!) For a large chunk of the day, I was uploading things to my program’s website, and I got this weird sense of power. Like, I could RUIN LIVES by posting embarrassing things. And then I remembered that I already have my own website, and that I tend to prefer embarrassing myself. 

Besides getting out of your own head or maybe reading about people who have actual problems, this video is a pretty good cure for being a hot emo mess:

I’m sorry, I know. But that video is hilarious. I’m a little bit in love with Andy Samberg:

He wears nerdy glasses, too!

 

Hmm. In my situation, Andy Samberg would probably go out. 

[Posted by Mallory]

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naked people will change the world.

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You know when you’re faced with a really tough problem and you finally realize that the only real solution is to get naked? Preferably somewhere public?  No?  Whatever, if you were French you would know what I was talking about.

Yesterday, more than 20 artists’ models, male and female, stripped naked and braved Paris’ freezing temperatures to protest against a ban on tips and demand better pay and recognition.  The artists decided to protest after Parisian authorities recently made the decision to enforce a ban on artists’ tips or “cornet.”  One artist told Reuters,

“We’re very badly paid and it’s always been that way,” said model Carole Kras, who joined others in the courtyard of a 16th century palace that houses the Paris cultural affairs offices.

“We’ve always had the ‘cornet’ to make up for some of that but now they want to get rid of it,” she said, as shivering colleagues got dressed after briefly disrobing.

The models work for the city of Paris and pose for students and professional artists making an average wage of 10 euros an hour (about $13).  The models are also protesting for greater professional recognition.  Carole Karus described the job saying, “It is a profession, it’s tiring. Because it’s physical, you need a lot of endurance and it’s also expressive,” she said. “We’re performers who play non-speaking roles, that’s the way I always think of it.”

Neither public protests or public nudity are anything new in Paris, I saw quite a lot of both when I lived there so the protest didn’t gain much attention from the public.  However, the cultural affairs office in Paris took notice and a representative said they believe a solution can be found. 

In a city that is itself a work of art, nude models and artists are as important as sidewalk cafes and baguettes.  I have a feeling that an agreement will be reached soon, hopefully before the artists freeze their tatas off (because that would make for some very strange art). 

[Posted by Madeline]

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ny’s governor paterson, snl’s latest buffoon?

This past weekend, SNL’s Weekend Update featured an interview with New York Governor David Paterson during which, Fred Armisen portrayed the legally blind head of state in a less than flattering manner.  I know, that’s hard to imagine for SNL.  Usually, they’re so kind to the politicians whose every character flaw they mercilessly thrust into the spotlight.  Two days later, Paterson’s office is none too happy about the skit which referred to the governor’s blindness in a mocking tone throughout the skit (again, SNL?  mocking?  really!?).

According to the New York Times, “Gov. David A. Paterson’s office criticized a skit on this weekend’s “Saturday Night Live” in which Mr. Paterson, who is legally blind, was portrayed as disoriented and buffoonlike.”  Hold on . . . “disoriented and buffoonlike” . . . I think they’ve done that before . . .

Before we proceed any further, internets, there’s something you should know.  Like Governor Paterson, I am legally blind.  Unlike Governor Paterson, I am only legally blind in one eye and can see almost perfectly out of the other with the help of some very expensive corrective lenses.  Yes, okay, his disability is far more severe and maybe it was a lot harder for him to go to school and maybe unfair accomodations for the visually impaired made him fail the bar exam BUT if I close my right eye I can only see large objects and colors–just like David Paterson.  AND I’ve been wearing glasses since I was four and one half years old and you know what?  Pre-schoolers are MEAN.  So are kindergarteners.  And first graders.  And you know what the only thing is that mean 4-7 year olds love more than a peer in glasses?  A peer with an EYE PATCH.  That’s right, folks.  I was forced to wear an eye patch.  Everyday.  To school.  And maybe three years of humiliation is better than a lifetime with a lazy eye but it STILL SUCKED.  Not only did it make me look silly but it made me walk into things and fall a lot and develop a life-long fear of “the ball.”  Softball, football, kooshball–I don’t care what it is PLEASE DON’T THROW IT IN MY DIRECTION.

Anyway, back to Governor Paterson.  He’s pretty blind and SNL made some jokes about this.  Now, the dude’s office is fahhhh–reaking out.  Which is strange on a few levels.  The first being that the governor is a pretty funny guy and is known for making jokes about his vision problems (I believe that’s called a coping mechanism).  The second being that if you watch the skit (and I’ve kindly allowed you to do so below) you may notice that the jokes are more about Governor Paterson’s cocaine use and hatred of New Jersey than his blindness.  Including my favorite moment when Seth Meyers asks the Governor what he has against NJ and he replies “unfortunately, a southern border.”  That’s funny.  And so are most of the other jokes where SNL pokes fun at Paterson’s inexperience and scandal-ridden career.  Yes, Fred Armisen does squint his right eye and let his left eye wander and yes, he does hold up the graph of unemployment rates upside down.  Will Ferrell does the same thing when he portrays President Bush.   For goodness sake–it’s satire, it’s overdone, live from New York, it’s Saturday Night!!

I think that the bigger problem here is that as the nation’s first legally blind governor, Paterson represents a group of individuals who are affected daily by prejudice and discrimination.  At an event in New York City Sunday night Paterson spoke on the issue without directly addressing the SNL skit saying,

“I run the place that I work in so I don’t have to worry about being discriminated against, I think,” he said. “But the point is that a lot of people who don’t get promotions and don’t get opportunities and don’t even get work are disabled in our society.” 

 That’s very true and I don’t mean to be insensitive but those people aren’t limited to the visually or physically impaired.  There are gays, blacks, latinos, women, etc. who are in the same position . . . and SNL makes fun of all of them.  But, oddly enough, it’s done lovingly and it often progresses the national dialogue.  That being said, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t cringe once or twice when watching this skit and I don’t think SNL should be protected by a “but they make fun of everyone” clause.   I understand Governor Paterson’s frustrations (believe me), but at the end of the day he’s just another politician to be ridiculed on SNL.  Ultimately, he wasn’t picked on because he was blind but because he wasn’t supposed to become the governor, because he used to do cocaine and cheat on his wife, because he hates New Jersey, because he’s there.  Maybe years of being called “four eyes” and “Captain Hook” (which didn’t even make sense, I know) have made me impervious to vision-related taunts and I’m not being sensitive enough.  So please, watch and decide for yourself.  Is this more offensive than I’m giving it credit for?

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where carrie bradshaw learned her stuff.

All the way back in 1986, Newsweek magazine, in an article titled “Too Late for Prince Charming?” reported on a study that said single women over the age of 40 were more likely to be killed by a terrorist than get married.  This video is the response to that statistic:

There are so many pieces of wonderfully terrible advice in this video that I really just have to let the video speak for itself (although, a small stuffed animal? Really?!).  Even if you think you have gained enough information to make your head explode halfway through, please make sure to watch the video through to the end; the last piece of advice is undoubtedly the best.

[Posted by Madeline]

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Filed under adventures, animals, ben and jerry's, crushes, definitely not politics, drinks, humor, random, sex, sports, YouTube

dear readers, welcome inside my brain.

Here’s the thought I just had:

I wonder how many glasses of wine spill, on average, every time there’s an earthquake

DEEP THOUGHTS OVER HERE, DEEEEP THOUGHTS.

[Posted by Mallory]

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peace is not a side dish.

Here’s the thing. I feel like I am drunk, but really, I have just been writing papers for too many hours and days and days and hours. I got so wacky that I almost wrote “peace is not a side dish” in my paper before realizing that it was not even a remotely academic thing to say. Now I’m done writing for tonight, but I have to wait for my friend Jill because I don’t want to walk home alone in the cold. 

So how about I tell you some random shit?

First, this is a weird video that Kathleen nerded over from South America:

I find it both cute and really, really sad. I hate when the hamster is left on his back like that! 

Junior year of college, my friends Katie and Annie got two gerbils, and named them Stella and Jager. We played fun games like Blackout Gerbil Out and Gerbilvision, but that got old after like two weeks. Now Katie’s little sister takes care of the herby gerbs.

Speaking of animals, did you hear about the woman who “hid a sedated monkey under her blouse on a flight from Thailand“? This crazy lady, whose name is obviously Gypsy, tried to hide the monkey under a loose-fitting blouse, and now she’s in big trouble for smuggling. Apparently it just looked like she was pregnant. I mean, I wear a lot of loose-fitting blouses, but usually it’s to hide a belly full of Smartfood and breakfast sandwiches, not a monkey.

Speaking of monkeys, I LOVE Pandora. Like a lot. It is so great. Another thing that I love is video chat. I love that video chat turns quasi-adults into four-year-olds making funny faces in the mirror. It’s hysterical. My friend Jill and I video-chatted our friend Tamar today, and we essentially spent the whole time seeing who could make the ugliest face. Mature? No. Entertaining? YES. 

Aaand continuing with the stream-of-consciousness, have you guys tried the fancy new things on Gmail? There are SO many cool new things, which I obviously spent way too long playing with today. You can make task lists on your Gmail (hellooo, Type A); take “breaks” where your Gmail basically forces you to not be glued to your computer for 15 minutes (hellooo, lack of self control); and you can customize your label colors (hellooo, NERD). The best one, though, is the attachment reminder. If you write in your email that you are attaching something and then you forget to attach it, Gmail will REMIND YOU TO ATTACH IT. 

This is all awesome, but it also freaks me out a little. I mean, Gmail has been around for a few years and it is already basically thinking for us. I can’t even fathom what they’ll come up with next. If it’s a feature that blow dries my hair and makes me breakfast while I check my morning email, though, I’ll be okay with it.

Final Bonus Confession: I get both Economist updates and Self Fit Move of the Week updates emailed to me, and I always delete them before I even open them. But I won’t unsubscribe, because that would prove that I’m un-intellectual and lazy. Logical, right?

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under adventures, animals, babies, food, humor, music, news, post-college depression, thoughts, YouTube

prop 8, the celebrity filled musical.

While the California State Supreme Court waits to hear three separate lawsuits challenging Prop 8 several celebrities have come together with “Funny or Die” to create “Prop 8, The Musical.” Starring John C. Reilly, Maya Rudolph/Kathleen, Allison Janney, Jack Black as Jesus and many more (does anybody else see Darryl from ‘The Office’ in the ensemble?) PLUS a special appearance by Neil Patrick Harris, the musical, while entertaining, argues that gay marriage is good for the economy. And, you know, civil rights (potato, potahto).

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[Posted by Madeline]

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