Happy Monday, readership! To kick off your work week, here’s a fake TV commercial from 1998. According to its creators, it was “made in 1998 for a series of educational shorts about action figures based on historical figures. Its educational value was somewhat suspect. It was never aired.” Bummer. Best part? THE BRONTESAURUS! RAWR!
As a side note, I know a girl from Massachusetts that would have given ANYTHING to have these dolls growing up…
[Posted by Kathleen]
Pandora (thank you, technology!) introduced me to this song. I enjoy the song, but even more than that I love that the lyrics are so dead-on. It’s both sad and hilarious, because we’ve all been there. (And if you haven’t been there, kindly get out of my life. I never liked you anyway.)
“We Get On,” Kate Nash
Simply knowing you exist ain’t good enough for me
But asking for your telephone number
Seems highly inappropriate
Seeing as, I can’t
Even say hi
When you walk byAnd that time you shook my hand, it felt so nice
I swear I never feel this way about any other guy
And I never usually notice people’s eyes, butI conducted a plan to bump in to you most accidentally
But I was walking along and I bumped into you
Much more heavily than I’d originally planned
It was, well, embarrassing
And I think you thought that I was a bit of a twatI just think that we’d get on
I wish I could tell you face to face
Instead of singing this stupid song
But yeah, I just think that we might get onSo I went to that party and everyone
They were kind of art-y
And I was wearing this dress
Because I wanted to impress
But I wasn’t sure if I looked my best
‘Cause I was so nervous
But I carried on regardless
Strutting through each room trying to find youAnd when I saw you kissing that girl
My heart, it shattered
And my eyes, they watered
And when I tried to speak, I stuttered
And my friends were like “Whatever!
You’ll find someone better!
His eyes were way too close together!
And we never even liked him from the start!
And now he’s with that tart
And I heard she’s done some really nasty stuff
Down in the park with Michael
He said she’s easy
And if your guy’s with someone that’s sleazy
Then he ain’t worth your time
‘Cause you deserve a real nice guy!”
So I proceeded to get drunk and to cry
And lock myself in the toilets for the entire nightSaturday night I watched channel five
I particularly liked CSI
I don’t ever dream about you and me
I don’t ever make up stuff about you and me
Because that is insanity
I don’t ever drive by your house to see if you’re in
I don’t even have an opinion on that tramp that you’re still seeing
I don’t know your timetable
I don’t know your face off by heart
But I must admit that there is still a part of me that still thinks
That we might get onWe might get on…
Yep, sounds about right.
Love “Foundations,” too (holler HLH!). Terribly literal video, but a great song. I’m so happy that Ms. Nash’s accent actually comes out when she sings. Why can’t more people make that happen?
[Posted by Mallory]
Filed under humor, music, technology, YouTube
IS. THIS. REAL. LIFE.
[Posted by Mallory]
During my morning news perusal, I came across a story on the HuffPo about Tiger Woods. First of all, I am SO OVER the Tiger Woods story, but this headline caught my eye: Tiger Woods Parties at Nickelback Concert in Orlando.
Which made me actually exclaim out loud, “does that man have a publicist?!”
Tiger, here’s a little free advice. If you want to rehab your image and not look like a huge d-bag, going to a Nickelback concert is not the way to go about it. It’s like Jon Gosselin wearing Ed Hardy and trying to rock a faux-hawk. You. Look. Bad.
Take your kids to a Wiggles concert. Move back to your hometown to “rediscover your roots”. Open up a golf course specifically for underprivileged children.
But please, Tiger, stay away from Nickelback. It’s for your own good. Trust me.
xoxo,
k
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under celebrities, definitely not politics, humor, music, pictures, pop culture, random, sex, sports, thoughts
So for this past week, I’ve become addicted to a new (to me) blog: http://www.frkncngz.com. What does frkncngz mean? I have no idea. But what I do know is that this blog has all of these quotes and sometimes pictures that are either funny or emo or inspiring…all of my favorite things! I think I’ve spent at least an hour a day for the past week reading the archives, which I probably shouldn’t admit publicly. But whatever. Here are some of the ones that I love:
Wonderful, right?
[Posted by Mallory]
This kills me:
I don’t know about you guys, but I think that is far funnier than David After Dentist. I mean, the girl raps about Jesus. And speaks in a British accent. And talks about unicorns flying her to magical lands. Almost makes me want to get some teeth pulled.
[Posted by Mallory]
I’m a big fan of the Genius feature on iTunes, and I’m also a big fan of the country music. For those of you still left without modern technology, Genius is basically like Pandora (is that like using the word to define the word?), but using your own music. You can select a song and the Apple Gods magically find other songs of a similar genre, and voila, a playlist! It’s a great trick, and normally makes me some kickass playlists. But on this country kind of day, I selected a Darius Rucker song as my starting point, and things got a little weird. Here’s the playlist iTunes made for me:
Click to make it bigger.
For those of you who don’t know, Darius Rucker is a country singer these days, and before that he was the lead singer of Hootie & the Blowfish. Still, somehow, iTunes confused my buddy Darius for a mediocre R&B singer from the ’90s/early 2000s. Which is both disappointing and totally racist. Just saying. If this were Pandora, the explanation would have been “To start things off, we’ll play a song that exemplifies the musical style of Darius Rucker, which features…aw shit, never mind, this is just a list of other black dudes singing, with some J.Lo thrown in for good measure.”
But on the bright side, now you guys get a taste of some of the embarrassing music that I never listen to but keep on my iTunes because one day I just might want to have a middle school dance theme party, and that would require a soundtrack filled with Monica and TLC. I’m a girl who likes to be prepared.
In other news, I’m about to head to relive my college days with my little sister, who just turned 21. Wish me luck, and let’s hope I don’t slip into a post-college depression and begin sobbing every other drink. That might ruin the mood.
[Ed. Note: This is SWTCTW’s 800th post! Cwazy! Thanks for sticking with us for this long.]
[Posted by Mallory]
Filed under humor, music, post-college depression, weird
Oh FINE. Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve seen it (and certainly heard it) by now, but here is everyone’s Uncle Joe dropping the F bomb on live TV.
I think he’s the greatest. He’s just so lovably inappropriate! You know he was sitting there thinking to himself, “What powerful words can I say to B that he will remember for the rest of his life?” Well, he certainly found the words to say. Perhaps he just forgot that there were 250 hot mics around. Regardless, I’m glad it happened, and here’s why: it’s been lightening up the health care debate and people have been having some fun with it.
Yup. School House Rock got BFD’d.
But back to Biden. As Press Secretary Robert Gibbs tweeted, “And yes, Mr. Vice President, you’re right“. Because he is. It IS a big deal. And it’s long overdue.
PS- Here is a great tool to see how the health care legislation will affect you. Super easy– just put in your marital status, if/how you have health care and what you make. Click here.
[Posted by Kathleen]
I’m seeing Ben Folds on Friday, and this video made me even more excited for the concert. He BEST do this in DC (and I hope we talk to Bobby again):
[Posted by Mallory]
Filed under adventures, crushes, humor, music, pop culture, YouTube
six words to change the world. 