Tag Archives: john mccain

by | August 23, 2008 · 3:31 am

kids will google the weirdest things!

One of the nerdier aspects of having a blog is that you can see which search terms people used to stumble across it. These, as you can imagine, are often hysterical and probably a little too entertaining. Here are a few from the past couple of days with my comments and best guess as to what it pulled up next to it. Please note the spelling and grammar.

“tru blood cellular specialist” Tru without the e? Gangsta. Click here.

“sucking katy perry’s boobies” I mean really, who hasn’t Googled this? Click here.

“silly old man” This can only mean one thing. John McCain. Click here, here, here, here or here.

“what does the olypic maskots look like” Answer: Pokemon. And based on the spelling, I’m guess the user is familiar with Pokemon. Click here.

“kevin bacon speedos” Rawr. Wouldn’t it be great if he had his own line of Speedos? Click here.

“super dance youtube sexxy” Uhhh… click here?

Oh, the things people will Google. I hope we don’t disappoint.

Still waiting on that Obama VP decision. Last minute guesses? I’m leaning towards Rep. Chet Edwards or Joe Biden… text me already, B!

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | August 22, 2008 · 4:34 pm

john mccain loses the numbers game.

Oh Johnny. It was only a simple question. Politico reporters Jonathan Martin and Mike Allen asked how many houses you have. McCain’s answer is priceless.

“I think — I’ll have my staff get to you. It’s condominiums where — I’ll have them get to you.”

What was that, buddy? You don’t know how many houses you and Cindy own? Well that can’t be good. Now I’m not good at math, but I’m pretty sure I can answer that question for myself. (Um, zero. Oh the joys of living in your parents’ house.)

Okay, so he doesn’t know how many houses he has, but here are some other basic addition questions that I hope John can answer without needing his staff to bail him out:

  • How old are you?
  • How many children do you have?
  • How many days are in a week?
  • How many states are in the union?

Hopefully those are elementary, my dear Watson.

So what did B have to say about the whole thing?

“If you don’t know how many houses you have, then it’s not surprising that you might think the economy is fundamentally strong.”

Zing! Well put. Most of us, John, can count our houses on one hand. Well, one finger. Your choice which finger you use when counting.

Politico did some digging around (apparently the staff didn’t get to them on that?) and discovered the number is at least eight. Johnny obviously wouldn’t be able to handle adding one more (say, the White House). So let’s do Senator John McCain a huuuuuge favor and make sure we don’t rock the boat by changing the number from at least eight to at least nine. It’s the kind thing to do.

And on a sidenote: Barack, I’ve been clinging to my cell phone for dear life waiting for that text message. Please, just let me know!

Update: WashPo does a McCain house(s) tour. Check it out. It’s like MTV Cribs.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | August 19, 2008 · 5:10 am

youtube clip of today: dream ticket.

Ohhh Britney. (Sorry, Walsh) Ohhh John McCain. If given the choice though, I’d put Brit Brit at the top of the ticket.

Teehee, this video is sillly.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | August 14, 2008 · 2:07 pm

obama: more perfect than we thought.

Look at these pictures, then tell me how anyone could possibly want to vote for John McCain. 

[Posted by Mallory]

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by | August 6, 2008 · 2:29 am

paris, girl, you make me proud.

I never thought I’d say that, but it’s true. Here is how she bitch slaps John McCain for being a complete and utter ass. But let’s face it, this really comes from the geniuses at funnyordie.com. Let me just say that I in no way support Paris for Prez (and Rhianna for Veep), but she is pretty sassy in it and says some good stuff. And I hate to say this, but that’s hot.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | August 4, 2008 · 2:36 pm

happy birthday future president barack obama!

Happy birthday Barack! Our presumptive Democratic nominee is 47 years old today. And he’s on the campaign trail, doing his thing. I bet I know what his birthday wish will be when he blows out the candles on his cake tonight.

A new grill for the backyard, duh.

But instead of taking today off, Obama is actually giving voters a present. At 11 a.m. today, he will unveil his new energy plan. So look for livestreaming online or flip on your teeevee. Hooray!

A lot of people are taking this opportunity to juxtapose B’s youth with John’s lack of youth. The WSJ has a semi-interactive graphic about the age gap. I’ll admit, I take a few cheap shots about McCain’s age. But the truth is, if my party’s nominee was that age and I felt he was the right person to do the job then it wouldn’t matter. Age has nothing to do with why I think Barack is ready to lead–it’s his positions on the issues. So take that.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BARACK! YOU’LL BE A GREAT PRESIDENT.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | August 1, 2008 · 4:06 am

i’m afraid that’s really his best.

Instead of, I don’t know, talking about the issues, our friend Johnny McCain has stooped to a new low–and purely out of jealousy. He newest campaign ad compares Barack to Britney and Paris. And John, I know it sucks to not be the most popular kid in school–but the reason Barack is so popular is not because he parties a lot and is famous for no reason other than being rich, or is a talented singer/dancer but a tragic trainwreck (sorry, Britty) that people just can’t stop caring about.

It’s because he’s on to something really special. Something that you, John, can’t deliver. And people want change. One last thing, he was the editor of the Harvard Law Review and used to teach Constitutional law. He’s not dumb. I, in no way, am inferring that Paris and Britney are dumb. And I’m SURE that wasn’t McCain’s intent either. Right?

And this just in! The Hilton family donated the maximum amount possible to McCain’s campaign! Haha OUCH. So they’re probably not happy that he compared Barack to Paris in a negative light… Thanks to Jon Stewart for doing that research for me! Watching Jon Stewart and blogging at the same time is divine. You should try it sometime. I can only hope Jon’s (not the John previously mentioned) wit will rub off on me. Mmm, a girl can dream.

Here is the ridiculously dumb, immature and ineffective campaign ad:

And here is what Saint B had to say about it:

“Given the seriousness of the issues, you’d think we could have a serious debate. But so far, all we’ve been hearing about is Paris Hilton and Britney Spears. I mean, I do have to ask my opponent, is that the best you can come up with? Is that really what this election is about? Is that what is worthy of the American people?”

Well done, Mr. Obama. You are a gentleman and a scholar. Now go kick McCain’s ass.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | July 25, 2008 · 5:19 pm

bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb iran.

Courtesy of my boyfriend Annie, our NYC correspondent, take a look at this Politico article about McCain’s off-color humor (which we’ve discussed a lot at SWTCTW…here and here and here). Here’s an excerpt:

McCain’s humor, by contrast, makes him the political counterpart of the radio host Don Imus (whom he has defended): It’s sharp, unrehearsed and, at times, way, way over the line. This cycle, he’s drawn winces, and worse, for everything from a joking reference to domestic violence to a now-notorious little ditty about bombing Iran. Earlier in his political career, the Arizona press reported that he’d cracked a rape joke that would now probably end any politician’s career, a joke his aides then and now say he doesn’t recall making.

[Posted by Mallory]

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by | July 25, 2008 · 3:37 pm

colorado’s got mountains, mccain, and ME!

In case you hadn’t heard amidst the news of the Barackstar hanging out in Germany, John McCain will be in the great state of Colorado today. Woo hoo! While driving to work this morning, I passed the Grand Hyatt where McCain will speak to a group of veterans, and I was relieved, for his sake, to see that there were actually reporters there. (We’re clearly not huge fans of Johnny here at SWTCTW, but I’m starting to almost pity the old guy. Did you hear about how he watched Obama’s speech to four billion Germans from a German restaurant in Ohio? Oh, John.)

I wanted to liveblog McCain’s speech today, but then I realized that a) I’m not a veteran and thus wouldn’t be allowed into the event, b) I have to work today, and c) even if those other two things weren’t true, my laptop is so fragile and close to death that it cannot leave the house. So, no liveblogging.

[Posted by Mallory]

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by | July 15, 2008 · 11:03 pm

again, john, rape is NOT funny.

We knew that John McCain once called his wife a cunt and likes to hang out with people who say inappropriate things about rape, but looks like our favorite presumptive Republican nominee also likes himself a good rape joke. According to Wonkette, 1986 is not just the birth year of your two fearless bloggers, but it’s also the year a story about McCain’s tasteless rape joke appeared in the Tuscon Citizen. Ladies and gentlemen, prepare to laugh:

Did you hear the one about the woman who is attacked on the street by a gorilla, beaten senseless, raped repeatedly and left to die? When she finally regains consciousness and tries to speak, her doctor leans over to hear her sigh contently and to feebly ask, ‘Where is that marvelous ape?’

Because rape is nothing if not HI-larious.

[Posted by Mallory]

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