Category Archives: food

’tis the season to be hungover.

Office parties, neighborhood parties, family parties.  Eggnog, champagne, whiskey (for the family parties), wine.  In the weeks between Thanksgiving and New Year’s the opportunities to be hungover grow exponentially.  If I remember my pre-calculus correctly (and there’s a good chance that I don’t) the graphical representation of what we’re now experiencing ends up looking something like this:

hangovers

It’s a rough six weeks.  Luckily, National Geographic would like to help.  They have kindly gathered information about “Hangover Helpers” from around the globe.  So if the Gatorade and Smartfood just aren’t cutting it you can try Romania’s recommendation and eat some tripe soup, because nothing says “anti-nausea” like a healthy serving of cow stomach.  In Poland they recommend drinking soured milk or very sour pickle juice.  I can’t imagine that that does anything other than make you vomit and if that’s the case, I’d rather take care of that Blair Waldorf style.  In Japan, they eat pickled plums to cure “futsuka yoi” or, “two days drunk” and in Mexico the drug of choice is a nice shrimp cocktail or seafood salad (the real kind, not the first-grader version).  The salad is appropriately named “Vuelva a la vida” or “return to life.”

My favorite “cure” is probably that found in the Netherlands: a big, tall glass of cold beer.  Although it’s usually hard to imagine drinking anything alcoholic when you wake up in the morning feeling like your head is on backwards, in my family we favor a little Irish Coffee to settle the stomach or, on really bad days, straight shots of Jameson, and it seems to do the trick (I wasn’t kidding when I mentioned that we’re a walking stereotype).

No matter your potion of choice, party on!  There are tons of antidotes to experiment with and you have plenty of opportunities to do so!  Plus, it’s Christmas and nothing says “praise be to the Lord, Jesus Christ” like too many glasses of eggnog.

[posted by Madeline]

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Filed under definitely not politics, drinks, family, food, random, religion, travel

smell it your way with bk.

This is for sure going to be the gift of the season.  The Tickle-Me-Elmo for the fat kids…err…or people that just love food as much as I do.  Now this may or may not be a joke, but it’s ridiculous any way and I’m going write about it.  You can now purchase a cologne from Burger King called Flame.

“The WHOPPER sandwich is America’s Favorite burger.  FLAME by BK captures the essence of that love and gives it to you.  Behold the scent of seduction, with a hint of flame-broiled meat.”

Ummm.  Rawr?  I do love a good whopper.  In fact, I have many times stated on the blog that burgers were the reason for my failed vegetarianism.  So given that I love burgers, would I love the faint smell of flame-broiled meat on a man? Hmm. [Insert awkward joke about man meat HERE.]

Even if you are totally repulsed by this concept and want to vom, at least check out the Web Site, it’s funny.  http://www.firemeetsdesire.com/

And if you want to seduce me, maybe try wearing FLAME.  But if Wendy’s comes out with their own line, then go with that.  Especially if it smells like the Baconator.  Oh and you need to have a nice set of buns.  Get it?  Buns?  Burgers?  I’m done.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under crushes, definitely not politics, food, pop culture, random

no cake for you, little adolph.

A bakery in the Dirty Jerz has refused to make a three year old a birthday cake.  That’s terrible, you say. Right?  Well, not as terrible as what I’m going to tell you next.  The three year old’s name is Adolph Hitler.  Yes, as in the worst person ever.  The mini fuhrer’s parents, Heath and Deborah Campbell, named their child Adolph Hitler and then were appalled that the ShopRite bakery refused to write “Happy Birthday Adolph Hitler” on the cake.  I cannot get over this.  How can this be surprising to them?

I wonder if they’ll be surprised when he gets thrown into lockers and beat up in middle school, high school, college, life.

And you think little Adolph has it bad?  He has two sisters…ready?

Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie and JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell.

OUCH.  But back to the bakery and cake in question.

According to the news story,

A spokeswoman for ShopRite said that this was not the bakery department’s first run in with the Campbells – a similar request was denied two years ago when the shop also refused to daub swastikas on baked goods for the family.

Interesting.  But whatever you do, PUHLEASE do NOT call the Campbells racists!  They’re not racists!  Heath Campbell will tell you that Dolphie has black friends AND mixed race friends that even went to his birthday party.  Oooooh, it’s the “I’ve got friends that are x” defense.  Yeah, we’ve heard that one.  It’s like when Sarah Palin defended her hateful anti-gayness by saying she has gay friends.  This defense, we all know, is very weak.

“If we’re so racist, then why would I have them come into my home?” he asked.

I can’t answer that, but rather I ask the question “why would any parent let their child into the Campbells’ home?”

I blame Heath and Deborah completely, so despite having a terrible name, I hope Adolph had a good birthday.  And when he is old enough, I hope he has the desire and courage to change his name.  Maybe to Martin Luther King or something.  That would be awesome.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under babies, food, news, pop culture, random

peace is not a side dish.

Here’s the thing. I feel like I am drunk, but really, I have just been writing papers for too many hours and days and days and hours. I got so wacky that I almost wrote “peace is not a side dish” in my paper before realizing that it was not even a remotely academic thing to say. Now I’m done writing for tonight, but I have to wait for my friend Jill because I don’t want to walk home alone in the cold. 

So how about I tell you some random shit?

First, this is a weird video that Kathleen nerded over from South America:

I find it both cute and really, really sad. I hate when the hamster is left on his back like that! 

Junior year of college, my friends Katie and Annie got two gerbils, and named them Stella and Jager. We played fun games like Blackout Gerbil Out and Gerbilvision, but that got old after like two weeks. Now Katie’s little sister takes care of the herby gerbs.

Speaking of animals, did you hear about the woman who “hid a sedated monkey under her blouse on a flight from Thailand“? This crazy lady, whose name is obviously Gypsy, tried to hide the monkey under a loose-fitting blouse, and now she’s in big trouble for smuggling. Apparently it just looked like she was pregnant. I mean, I wear a lot of loose-fitting blouses, but usually it’s to hide a belly full of Smartfood and breakfast sandwiches, not a monkey.

Speaking of monkeys, I LOVE Pandora. Like a lot. It is so great. Another thing that I love is video chat. I love that video chat turns quasi-adults into four-year-olds making funny faces in the mirror. It’s hysterical. My friend Jill and I video-chatted our friend Tamar today, and we essentially spent the whole time seeing who could make the ugliest face. Mature? No. Entertaining? YES. 

Aaand continuing with the stream-of-consciousness, have you guys tried the fancy new things on Gmail? There are SO many cool new things, which I obviously spent way too long playing with today. You can make task lists on your Gmail (hellooo, Type A); take “breaks” where your Gmail basically forces you to not be glued to your computer for 15 minutes (hellooo, lack of self control); and you can customize your label colors (hellooo, NERD). The best one, though, is the attachment reminder. If you write in your email that you are attaching something and then you forget to attach it, Gmail will REMIND YOU TO ATTACH IT. 

This is all awesome, but it also freaks me out a little. I mean, Gmail has been around for a few years and it is already basically thinking for us. I can’t even fathom what they’ll come up with next. If it’s a feature that blow dries my hair and makes me breakfast while I check my morning email, though, I’ll be okay with it.

Final Bonus Confession: I get both Economist updates and Self Fit Move of the Week updates emailed to me, and I always delete them before I even open them. But I won’t unsubscribe, because that would prove that I’m un-intellectual and lazy. Logical, right?

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under adventures, animals, babies, food, humor, music, news, post-college depression, thoughts, YouTube

sooo wanna play a fun game?

It’s called “Want To Hear Something Embarrassing About Me?” and if you’re my friend, you get to play it with me every day (and sometimes witness said embarrassing moments). Today’s answer is…

I have eaten the same dish from the same Thai restaurant for dinner three days in a row. 

Three cheers for variety! 

(Although, in the grand scheme of my life, or even this semester, it’s just a blip. Just ask the two people I had dinner with tonight.)

[Posted by Mallory]

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five foods to change the world.

I’ve been on campus for an hour, and haven’t done any work yet. Why, you ask? Because of the Top Five Favorite Foods Game. I’m not sure if I have talked about this game on the blog yet, but today I played with my “bosses.” The rules vary from game to game, but for the purposes of this game, categories (i.e. Mexican food) and drinks were forbidden. So here’s a peek into my life (or just my Gmail):

Subject: i want to play!
————————    

From: Jen
Date: Wed, Dec 10, 2008 at 10:36 AM
To: Mallory, Go


Are these foods discretionary?  i.e. Are all of my nutritional needs already met?  If so, then my list is as follows:

5. Broccoli is tied with Soy Sauce
4. Macaroni and Cheese
3. Garlic
2. Bacon
1. Krispy Kreme donuts

———-
From: Jen
Date: Wed, Dec 10, 2008 at 10:38 AM
To: Mallory, Go


Crap.  I forgot coffee, beer, and mayonnaise. 

———-
From: Mallory 
Date: Wed, Dec 10, 2008 at 10:38 AM
To: Jen, Go


Yes, totally discretionary. There is a different game about which foods you would eat if you could only eat five for the rest of your life. Go and I think you cheated because you can’t have a tie. Other than that, good choices. 

———-
From: Go
Date: Wed, Dec 10, 2008 at 10:40 AM
To: Mallory, Jen


HAHAHAHAHAHA, broccoli and soy sauce?!?  Ok, just to update you, these are Mallory and my top five favorite foods as of this morning:

Mallory
#5 Stuffing
#4 Goat cheese
#3 Pizza
#2 Salsa
#1 Breakfast sandwiches (e.g., sausage, egg and cheese on toast, bagel or English muffin)

Go 
#5 Chicken wings
#4 Thanksgiving turkey
#3 Choco chip coffee ice cream
#2 Steak
#1 Sushi

———-
From: Jen
Date: Wed, Dec 10, 2008 at 10:49 AM
To: Go, Mallory

Go,    

You are so predictable.  I expected more.  Sushi, steak, and ice cream???

———-
From: Go
Date: Wed, Dec 10, 2008 at 10:58 AM
To: Jen, Mallory


Predictable?!?   PREDICTABLE?!?  At least I listed REAL foods!  Broccoli?  Soy sauce?  Garlic?  These aren’t even side dishes!  BLAH!

———-
From: Jen
Date: Wed, Dec 10, 2008 at 11:02 AM
To: Go, Mallory

Fine, I’ll remove soy sauce and garlic.  But broccoli stays.  And I get unlimited beer and coffee.    

5. Broccoli
4. Pot stickers
3. Mac and Cheese
2. Bacon
1. Krispy Kreme Donuts

Perhaps this is why I’m still not done with my paper.

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under food, humor, post-college depression, random

dude, you can’t force the snark.

The harassment continued today in a group email, this one sent by SWTCTW operative “Fannie”:

p.p.s. Forget “grad school” and “finals” don’t you think Mal should get back with the program and start updating her blog with the frequency we who troll the internet have come to expect?!?!

Sigh. The public shaming worked. I only have three more days of papering (hooray!), but in that time I will try to maintain my blogging duties. Just to prove to you all how exciting my life has been the past few days, here is a random list of what I did today:

1. Woke up, ate a bowl of cereal and a peanut butter ball for breakfast, and danced around in my underwear to “All I Want for Christmas is You.”

2. Ate 14 cookies. (I’m serious. We have a thing called “Cookie Fest” going on this week. Be jealous.)

3. Listened to this song, um, a LOT:

4. Tried to figure out what that song means. Consensus from the Internets is that it’s about love lost/broken hearts/an ending relationship/etc. etc.

5. Read a lot about youth and peacebuilding. 

6. Was loud in the quiet study room.

7. Ate 14 more cookies. 

8. Cried while watching a NYTimes video analysis of It’s a Wonderful Life.

MY LIFE IS BORING AND MY SNARK IS GONE. I blame the cookies. The cookies have stolen my snark. 

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under blogging, food, music, post-college depression

things for which i am thankful.

You end a sentence/phrase with a preposition, your AP English teacher has a heart attack. You arrange a sentence/phrase so that it doesn’t end in a preposition, you sound like an elitist douche. When given the choice, I’ll obviously go for the latter.

Anyway, seeing that Madeline (the “guest” slash obviously permanent blogger) has beat me to breaking our dry spell, I was overwhelmed with Catholic guilt. Friends, it’s not that I haven’t wanted to blog in the past few days. I really have. It’s just that I’ve been too overwhelmed with work, to the point that blogging would have caused me even more Catholic guilt. So I cut my losses. 

Now that I’m home on break, I have a little more time on my hands. In light of the upcoming holiday o’ food, I’ve decided to share a random list of some things for which I am thankful. In no particular order…

1. Stovetop stuffing. And while we’re at it, the cranberry sauce that looks like the can in which it came (now I’m super paranoid about the preposition thing, dammit). We’re not exactly fancy in my family.

2. Michael Franti. I saw him for the first time back in July, and I fell further in love with him when I saw him at the 9:30 Club in DC last Wednesday. Even if you think you wouldn’t like his music, I’d encourage you to go to one of his concerts. He has an amazing ability to put on the BEST SHOW EVER. His energy is just unbelievable. It didn’t hurt that he made me laugh, made me cry, and made me chant “Barack Obama” all in the span of three hours. And perhaps most impressively, Mr. Franti makes me feel like I’m a good dancer, even when I’m sober (!!!). Take a look at my favorite song off of his newest album:

If you don’t like that song, you should probably just give up on life. You clearly don’t have a soul.

3. While we’re thinking about him, Barack Obama. And Michelle, Malia, and Sasha. Also Joe and Jill Biden. 

4. That my finger didn’t entirely fall off today at the nail salon. The entire story would call for a blog post in itself, but I’ll just say that it involved a bloody electric buffer, a sadistic manicurist, and sanitation standards that would have made a cockroach shudder.

5. My ability to entertain myself. My friend Rachel thinks that I could have my own reality show because of the embarrassing shit I do in the privacy of my own space. I’m not sure I agree with her (although, hey, people do watch The Real Housewives of Atlanta), but I am grateful for this skill of mine. The other day, for instance, I caught myself singing “99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall.” Out loud. In a British accent. Riiiight.

6. That I’m not pregnant.

7. That I’m not morbidly obese. (I honestly think about this on a daily basis.) 

8. Goat cheese, breakfast sandwiches, salsa, bourbon, etc. etc.

9. The mountains. 

10. Copper.

11. KBCO.

12. Cry Face:

harv and mal

13. All of you, dear readers.

14. The fact that I can make this ridiculous list, because it means that all of the important stuff (health of friends, family, etc.) are already there.

Happy Thanksgiving, SWTCTW readers!

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under adventures, blogging, cry face, dance, drinks, family, food, music, random, religion, thoughts, YouTube

a friendly SWTCTW public service announcement.

 

Thanksgiving is tomorrow!  I hope that all of our lovely readers will get to spend it surrounded by friends and family and with yummy, delicious food.  Ready for the guilt trip?  Just like every year, this year there will be many individuals and families whose tables are empty and this year, there will be even more. 

Nationally, demand at local food banks is up 25-40% as more middle class families, who used to be donors, are seeking assistance in this troubled economy.  Donations have either stayed at the same rate or increased slightly but not enough to cover the increased demand.  This will be a continued problem, through 2009, but the Holidays are a great time to start helping.  Please visit Feeding America (formerly Second Harvest of America) to find a food bank near you and see how you can help.  A lot of families rely on their local food bank to put food on their table so please, keep them in mind.  Any donation will be greatly appreciated and will help to feed a family in need. 

So that’s our PSA.  We’ll get back to the snark shortly. 

[Posted by Madeline]

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thai food and brownies, oh my!

Let’s talk about things that make us happy. Like any normal human, I love things like breakfast sandwiches and spooning and compliments and not wearing pants. Not necessarily all at the same time. (Although, now that I think about it…that would be REALLY great.) I also love when the exact thing you need to happen happens. Like you were craving an episode of Project Runway and there’s a marathon on. Or you’re running late and need the bus to be there, and it is. 

Three of these great things happened to me today. First, I was sitting at my desk after staring at my computer screen (and being productive, actually) for hours, and I thought to myself, “I’m hungry. I should call Jill. Maybe she will eat with me.” And AT THAT EXACT MOMENT Jill called and offered to take me out for Thai food. No joke. Then I got to eat green curry, which I would consider bathing in if that wouldn’t be such a waste of delicious curry.

After lunch, I went back to work for a few hours and then headed to class. As I walked, I was thinking “I’m hungry again. I would like something made of chocolate.” AND THEN MY FRIEND MEG HAD BAKED BROWNIES FOR CLASS.

After class, I went to a meeting (where there was free pizza, huzzah!). I was dreading walking to the bus stop in the freezing cold, and my friend Ruth was all, “Hey, you headed home?” I assumed she wanted to walk with me. BUT THEN SHE OFFERED ME A RIDE. IN HER CAR.

I know, I know. Your head is spinning. But sometimes, it really is the little things. A lot of little things can make for one happy day. 

And it doesn’t hurt to come home to an email from your aunt featuring these photographic pieces of joy.

[Posted by Mallory]

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