Category Archives: news

geez louise, jennifer, please slow down!

I don’t really like driving in the car with my mother. When she reminds me to “slow DOWN, Kathleen” or “there’s a stop sign 50 feet ahead”, I remind her that I have been driving since 2002. SO THERE! Now that VH1 has ‘I Love the New Milennium” (why, Hal Sparks, why?!), I feel as if my age has been validated and 2002 is just as far off as “I Love the 80s”. Anyway, my mother always calls me out on speeding. Today, I will be victorious when I show her this!

Jennifer Bitton, you speed demon! She was caught speeding 22 times within a 45 day period by a camera in Scottsdale, Arizona. With speeds going up to 92 MPH! GASP! Umm…has anyone driven in New Jersey? It practically says 92 MPH on the speed limit signs. Anyway, Jennifer is in a wee bit of trouble because of this. I doubt if she had been pulled over by real cops she would have this many tickets. Because, you know, as her mugshot shows, she is fairly cute? By the way, she lives in Las Vegas. Draw your own conclusions.

But right now she’s in jail, and will most likely have to serve some mandatory jail time and pay fees. That sucks.

Here is what bothers me the most–none of the news stories answer the question WHY she was speeding. Was she late for work every day? (Understandable.) Was she late for some sort of class? (Pretty understandable.) Was she just having uncontrollable cravings for the Baconator at Wendy’s? (Absolutely understandable.)

I need answers! Tell us, Jennifer! The world needs to know!

[Posted by Kathleen]

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just be back by september, guys.

Touche

After a grueling spring semester with no new episodes of The Office or Ugly Betty due to a writers’ strike that I only partially understood (although the picture above does a pretty good job of explaining things), it looks like actors may be poised to strike this summer.  Now, I don’t know a whole lot about unions, or strikes in general (except my mom’s own experience with striking nurses a while ago, and all I remember from that is that she was pissed because she didn’t want to strike), but it seems like an actor’s list of grievances would pale in comparison to the grievances of, say, a coal miner. And on top of that, how do they expect people to survive without television? If I can’t hang out with Jim Halpert and Betty Suarez and Eli Stone, what I am I supposed to do? Talk to REAL people? Go outside?? This is the 21st century, people. We need our TV.

At least we have Netflix. Netflix and Blush Chablis.

[Posted by Mallory]

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lara logan starts her own war.

In the Sex and the City movie, Carrie talks about how girls move to New York City to fall in love. (I have plenty of thoughts about SATC, which can be found here.) Anyway, CBS anchor Laura “Lara” Logan went to Baghdad to find love lust. Looks like she got herself into a love triangle with a contractor and a CNN war correspondent! GASP! Umm…isn’t dating a reporter from a competing news station like dating the enemy, Laura? How dramatic.

This sex scandal right now, of course, is overshadowing the actual war itself. Haha, typical. (Wait, there’s a war going on?) And I’d like to commend the New York Post for their brilliant writing:

“Sexy CBS siren Laura Logan spent her days covering the heat of the Iraq war – but that was nothing compared to the heat of her nights.”

Wow, if the person who wrote that doesn’t get a Pulitzer, there is no justice in this world.

Apparently the dudes brawled over her too (she was a swimsuit model!). Laura/Lara, I don’t think anyone blames you for needing a distraction while you are there. It doesn’t seem like a party. Just try not to be a CBSloot. Haaaaa. Oh, and they transferred her back to DC.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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kathleen: come august, bring your tent.

With the Democratic National Convention on its way to Denver in just under two months, there’s a lot of water cooler-type talk about the event. Across party lines, many people seem to be worried about the protest movement called “Re-create 68,” a movement that’s seeking to emulate the protests at the 1968 DNC in Chicago, where clashes between protesters and police officers often turned violent. The organization’s website states that it “was created for all the grassroots people who are tired of being sold out by the Democratic Party,” and, as commenter and group member Glenn Spagnuolo points out, the organization is committed to nonviolence. They’re against the two-party system in general, and for now are showing it by participating in local festivals and fairs, planning rallies, and trying to attract more supporters of their cause. About the name of the organization, the website explains:

Sometimes we need to look back to move forward. In 1968 there existed a spirit of change, the Paris Rebellion, Prague, Chicago, Vietnam, etc. People believed, around the world, that they were capable of taking over the institutions that controlled their lives. The smell of revolution was in the air. Over 1 million college students openly identified as revolutionist. People believed that through mass participation in the movement, it was possible to wrest control from the elite power-holders. They were not willing to accept the loss of their human and civil rights.

They are trying to re-inspire a revolutionary attitude, which, based on what happened in 1968, understandably makes people a little nervous. Which is why, perhaps, the city is so far being so accommodating to another protest group, Tent State University. For now, the two protest groups are connected, but Denver City Councilwoman Carla Madison encouraged Tent State to break off from R-68 to make things a little easier on them. In a Rocky Mountain New article on the topic, Madison said that she views R-68 as a “little more anarchistic.” (Here’s the online version of the article, but please note that the online article and the hard copy of the article that I’m referencing are not exactly the same.)

Tent State describes itself as “a positive, youth-led initiative to fund education instead of war.” According to the RMN article, the group hopes to bring up to 50,000 people to Denver’s City Park (pictured below, and yes, I do realize how lucky I am) from August 24-28 and provide the experience of a “real democracy,” complete with protests and classes teaching nonviolent and anti-war tactics. So far, the city has issued Tent State a permit for 20,000 people, and this morning on the radio I heard a sound byte from Mayor John Hickenlooper in which he expressed support for the group, and expected them to be non-disruptive, partly because they are in support of Obama.

Denver\'s City Park, the proposed site of Tent State University\'s demonstration (and yes, I do realize how lucky I am)

So far, the one major kink in the plans deals with the actual camping permit. Naturally, it’s a lot easier to provide a place for 20,000 people to hang out during the day than to provide a place for the same number of people to sleep, eat, and shower. But as Adam Jung, the chief Tent State organizer, points out, “If we have to figure out a way to remove all of these people at 10 or 11 at night, it becomes very problematic…that’s what happened in Chicago.”

Tent State and the city of Denver are still in discussion, but for now, I think all of this is great. It’s impressive that the city is being so willing to work with the organization, and it could set a standard for future successful nonviolent protests. I’ll be starting grad school in DC during the week of the convention, but I’ll be crossing my fingers and keeping an eye on the action along with everyone else. Good luck, Tent Sate.

[Posted by Mallory]

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will he wear clothes in court?

This is the question on my mind (hopefully everyone else’s too so I don’t feel like a weirdo) after the Naked Cowboy, aka Robert Burck, won the right to go to court and sue the Blue M&M for using his identity. Congratulations to Mr. Naked for being the only person not to think it’s cool to be turned into an M&M! They even have a Web site for it. Yes, I’ve done this more than once.

Anyway, the Blue M&M was dressed like him in an ad in front of the Mars Candy store in Times Square. That’s the Naked Cowboy’s turf–and has been since 1998. So I get that he doesn’t like the competition. But the blue M&M is so much…cuter. Here’s what the Naked Cowboy had to say for himself:

“Sounds like I’ve got $4 million coming my way.”

WHAT? You mean you care about the money? You mean you didn’t make a mockery out of yourself every day just bring a smile to people’s faces and make them slightly uncomfortable as you stood there in cowboy boots and tighty whities? This whole thing was a gimmick, just to make money?! Shame on you, Naked, for fooling us all!

But on the other hand, power to him. I hang out naked and get made into an M&M and I’m still unemployed. I mean, I’m a writer.

Oh and FYI, this is not Naked’s first time to court. Here is his mugshot. I just stumbled across it. I figured it would just make everyone feel better about themselves.

RAWR!

[Posted by Kathleen]

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over the shoulder boulder holder saves.

I always knew bras were good for something other than keeping the girls down. I personally have yet to discover what else, but Jessica Bruinsma’s bra saved her life. Bruinsma, who is from Colorado (hey, Mal!), had been stranded in the Bavarian Alps in southern Germany for three days before being rescued. According to the AP, “she attracted the attention of lumberjacks by attaching her sports bra to a cable used to move timber down the mountain”. Wowie.

She’s a smart lady. If you hang a bra from somewhere, men are going to find it. Sorry, I had to make some sort of joke. Just think of all the puns I could have made but didn’t.

But honestly, it’s good to hear she’s alright. Her story could have ended tragically, but she was resourceful. This just goes to show that bras really can change the world. Maybe somebody should pass this along to Jen Moss?

[Posted by Kathleen]

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NYT adds an 8th dirty word.

Stand up comedian George Carlin died yesterday, and to honor him, the New York Times (which I absolutely love, but I’m more of a WashPo reader) wrote an obituary with a word in the headline that nobody understood. SPLENETIC.

How do I know that nobody understood it? It was number 8 on the list of most googled searches this morning.

Now, we all love to sporadically throw out a surfeit of SAT words to show our intellectual prowess and evoke minatory feelings of inadequacy among our peers. HA! Look those up! (That sentence took me nearly ten minutes write. Worth it? I think so.)

But come on, NYT, this is George Carlin we’re talking about. George Carlin, who is known for his completely down to earth standup about drugs and bad words. His “Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television” was about anything but SAT words. One of the words, by the way, is cunt–John McCain knows that one!

Anyway, I think it was wrong of the NYT to use an elitist word in the headline. And so did they–they changed it to ‘irreverent’.

RIP George Carlin, you said some funny things and were awesome in Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure!

[Posted by Kathleen]

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