Category Archives: random

by | July 16, 2008 · 3:17 am

confession: i’ve never been to fenway.


Mallory and I are usually on the same side with everything, but alas, I have found a difference between us: she supports the New York Yankees. Being that this blog is 50% mine, I will keep things balanced (but not “fair and balanced” because Fox News and their deceptive slogan makes me sick to my journalistic integrity-loving stomach) and talk about the Boston Red Sox. (Haha I love you, Mal!)

Those who know me know that I’m far more likely to know political scores than baseball scores, but come on, I do live in New England. And my journey to being a Red Sox fan is not a long one, but before you judge me and call me a fair-weather fan, hear me out. I grew up with Cal Ripken, the Orioles and Camden Yards. But upon moving to New Hampshire from Maryland my sophomore year of high school (I had one girl say to me, “New Hampshire? Isn’t that, like, up north somewhere?” Yes hun, it is.), I quickly realized that loving the Red Sox was not just a passion some people have; it is a way of life.

It didn’t come easily, but after awhile, I began to slowly develop affection for the Sox much like Belle for Beast in the Disney classic, “Beauty and the Beast”. Sorry, I had to throw that in. I spent hours watching the games with friends, a pastime I would never have done as an O’s fan. So I started off slow, just watching the games and learning the personalities of the players. Now, I have lived in NH for six years-and because of this I consider myself to be on the same level as a six-year-old child when it comes to my love for the Red Sox. My dad bought me my first Red Sox hat last year! Hooray!

But Mal and I have one thing in common despite our different sides in one of the deepest and longest of rivalries: I have never been to a game at Fenway Park, just as she’s never been to a game at Yankee Stadium. It’s humiliating, but true. I yearn for the day when I can join pretty much every other New Englander and say that I went to Fenway and saw the World Series champions.

So, if anyone wants to help me on my journey, give me a call. Take me out to the ball game. I love hot dogs. And beers.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | July 15, 2008 · 11:03 pm

again, john, rape is NOT funny.

We knew that John McCain once called his wife a cunt and likes to hang out with people who say inappropriate things about rape, but looks like our favorite presumptive Republican nominee also likes himself a good rape joke. According to Wonkette, 1986 is not just the birth year of your two fearless bloggers, but it’s also the year a story about McCain’s tasteless rape joke appeared in the Tuscon Citizen. Ladies and gentlemen, prepare to laugh:

Did you hear the one about the woman who is attacked on the street by a gorilla, beaten senseless, raped repeatedly and left to die? When she finally regains consciousness and tries to speak, her doctor leans over to hear her sigh contently and to feebly ask, ‘Where is that marvelous ape?’

Because rape is nothing if not HI-larious.

[Posted by Mallory]

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by | July 15, 2008 · 8:38 pm

idk, my bff bxvi. dear god!

This is not a joke. You, or should I write ‘U’, can now get texts from Pope Bennie 16 (which looks like an AIM screenname, don’t you think?)! This is part of World Youth Day 2008, a huge Catholic festival for people that want to hang out, be cool and “get jiggy” with his mighty papalness. This year’s festival is in Australia- on the opening morning, “G’day Pilgrims!” scrolled across the welcome screen. Haha.

How would you feel if you got a text from Benedict? There’s just something that doesn’t seem right about it. I think I would feel uncomfortable seeing it slammed in between drunk and/or inappropriate text messages from my heathen friends (LOVE YOU GUYS! And I’m just kidding, they are absolute saints). Plus, it definitely puts a whole new meaning to the idea that the Pope is a direct line to God. And the Pope has a direct line to your conscience via cell phone? I couldn’t stand all the Catholic guilt!

Besides the obvious objections to getting text messages from the freaking pope, as someone who is way into copy editing and believes that you should be consistent in your writing, the first thing that struck me was that he didn’t abbreviate ‘people’ to ‘ppl’ and spelled out the word ‘you’ after using the letter ‘u’. On top of that, I am absolutely against text abbreviations. JP II would never have done this! JP, we miss you, buddy.

So the Pope is trying to reach out to young people. That’s cool. I get it. Kind of. I always thought the church liked to kick it old school (as in, not evolve with the times), but maybe BXVI is a little too cool for school. Remember his shoes? Forget the devil, this Pope wears Prada. And sends texties.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | July 15, 2008 · 3:16 am

oh she’s just being miley! hmm…

That girl did it again! Miley, why haven’t you learned that Disney stars taking naughty pictures never turns out well? Did Vanessa’s super hot pictures to Zac teach you nothing?! Did your first couple of episodes with naughty pictures teach you nothing?! Well, since you all are a bunch of pervs and it’s kind of funny, here they are– the newest scandalous pictures hacked from sweet, innocent Miley. She’s 15. How those hackers do it, I will never know.

Miley, all I have to say is you are no Annie Liebovitz. Come on! The lighting is ALL wrong. And the poses? A little amateur, don’t you think? What would your best friend Leslie say? (Lame joke, sorry). Mallory and I were talking about this too–where exactly is she? A high school locker room, perhaps?

It must suck growing up and making mistakes when you’re in the limelight, but as our genius president, George W. Bush once remarked, “There’s an old saying in Tennessee – I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee – that says, fool me once – shame on – shame on you. You fool me, you can’t get fooled again.”

That should clear things up for you, M.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | July 14, 2008 · 10:51 pm

RIP olive riley, world’s oldest blogger.

The “World’s oldest blogger”, 108-year-old Olive Riley, died on Saturday.

I was just perusing her blog and I cannot even believe how cool this woman was. If you want to know what it was like growing up in WWI and WWII, you should read it. She saw a lot in her lifetime. Plus, she was all about singing happy songs and so am I.

Olive, you have totally inspired me. I want to blog until I’m 108 and make you all read what I have to say (and never get a real job! AHHH). But seriously, she was pretty amazing and I wanted to acknowledge that.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | July 14, 2008 · 1:57 pm

miss usa crystle stewart wipes out.

Readers, here is something for your Monday morning. Enjoy! Even beauty queens have bad days…

As if the world couldn’t think America was any dumber, we were shamed at the Miss Universe pageant, the Olympics of Beauty, for the second year in a row. Here is what the UK’s Times Online had to say (why are Brits so much funnier even in their news ledes?!):

For the second year in succession, the American entrant in the Miss Universe pageant failed to meet the crucial challenge of walking and smiling at the same time.

Crystle Stewart, from Texas, tripped and fell on stage at the global beauty contest today, just as Miss USA did last year. She failed to make the final, which was won by Miss Venezuela, a former kidnap victim.

Failed to meet the crucial challenge of walking and smiling? HAHA. But seriously, don’t sweat it girl, because you weren’t going to beat a kidnap victim anyway. I mean, COME ON, that’s intense and she deserves to win. Here she is. Rawr.

And I know I said America was shamed earlier, but I was being sarcastic (shocker, I know). I can totally relate to Crystle because I take diggers all the time. So Crystle, I know that you are probably curled up on your bed with tons of decorative pillows, eating full bricks of chocolate and watching Pride and Prejudice (the six A&E hour version) with mascara running down your face but I want you to know it’s going to be okay. You’re still incredibly hot and you still probably want world peace, so get out there and do it. We still love you! And probably didn’t know who you were before this.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | July 12, 2008 · 5:30 am

a little something for your weekend.

Unfortunately, I won’t be blogging much this weekend. But to get you through, I have compiled a list of links that I most likely would have blogged about or find interesting enough to share, and you’ll have to use your imagination to think of what Mal and/or I would say about them.

This story about siblings torn apart by the Holocaust and being reunited after 66 years made me cry more than watching the video of Christian the Lion. No jokes and nothing snarky to say–there is good in this world.

Here is an interesting piece on Wall-E. The first negative thing I’ve read and it brings up some valid points. Still haven’t seen the movie though. What do you think?

People are over medicated, and our dogs are next. Here is a piece from the NYT Magazine. Since I’m not going to, make all the jokes you want. Make me proud.

There’s going to be a DC version of “The Hills”. I’m pissed, because I wanted to be in it. My idea for a show title was just “The Hill”. Clever, I know. Ha. Shockingly, they went for more party oriented than political party oriented girls…

I love baby names, and I might give someone a candy bar or something to let me name their child. But give up a gas card? HELL NO. Have you seen the price of gas? This story is so wrong on so many levels. I LOVE IT. These people are nutso. Maybe I should do something like this. I bet I could come up with something better than Sunday Rose. Ugh.

And finally, a slideshow of supermodels then and now. Claudia Schiffer is still pretty hot. And girl don’t even get me started on Tyra.

Dunzo. Enjoy. Comment. Have adventures. Miss me. XOXO.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | July 11, 2008 · 10:43 pm

i’ll smell you later, patches wegmann.

Oooh, I like this story. Patches Wegmann (SUPERB name, by the way. Take that, Sunday Rose Kidman Urban!) was arrested yesterday because she was knocking men out with her scent. Wait, what? Yeah, Patches was selling cologne (that’s legit), waved a sample in some dude’s face, and he got sick. She’s done this a couple of times, apparently. Here is what the news story says about Patches’ first chump after she tickled his olfactory organ with her man-eating cologne:

The victim returned to work, where he passed out, investigators said. His symptoms included dizziness, shortness of breath, and numbness in his extremities.

His extremities? Hmm. Anyway, a month later she did it again. And this time the police got her and booked her on charges of second-degree battery and unlawful solicitation. Damn, girl. I know you want to see what she looks like–

There you go.

They haven’t tested Patches’ cologne yet (or released what it really was), but I’m willing to put money on it being from Abercrombie & Fitch or Hollister (essentially the same thing). Ever walk past one of those stores? With the combination of bad techno, bad lighting and a horrific odor, it makes you want to have a seizure. My brother used to wear Abercrombie cologne, bless his little heart. I would rather him come back from a basketball game smelling like sweat and not shower for two days than deal with the redolence (SAT word!) of Abercrombie on a daily basis again. Seriously, my extremities go numb and I want to vomit whenever I smell it.

One last thing. They didn’t report what the motive behind Patches’ puzzling actions was. Any guesses? Maybe she’s just craaaazy.

And this is completely gratuitous, but (in my expert opinion) here is a sample of the only good that comes from Abercrombie:

Rawr!

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | July 11, 2008 · 9:27 pm

big gulps, huh? see you later!

Here is a public service announcement from Six Words:

It’s free Slurpee Day at 7-11! Get some!

Sadly, there are no 7-11s where I live.  And in the town where I used to live, that’s where you went to watch the drug deals go down.  But whatev.  Enjoy!

And I KNOW that the Big Gulp isn’t the same as the Slurpee, but I will never give up a chance to make a Dumb and Dumber reference. And I thought the title was somewhat clever.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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