The informercial madness continues.
WHAT IS SO DIFFICULT ABOUT USING A REGULAR TOWEL?!
Honestly, people. How come everything needs to have arm holes now? Our blankets, our towels. What’s next? Are we honestly that lazy?
And what would you say to someone if you saw them wearing a towel as a dress/toga in public?
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under blogging, definitely not politics, fashion, humor, pop culture, random, thoughts, TV, Uncategorized, weird, YouTube
Hello, SWTCTW readers! Here is Chris’ weekly SYTYCD update!
Mallory brought up an interesting point – which is that some people may not be familiar with the summertime awesomeness that is SYTYCD. I’m not really sure how this could be the case and I’m too frightened to explore the deep dark world in which this scenario could be possible. So, taking her hypothetical point to heart, I’ve prepared a quick tutorial based on the dancing kid video she posted last week.
During the first weeks of the show, we are entertained with audition footage from various locations around the country. (Please resist any obvious comparisons here to American Idol.) If they were to audition for the show, Mallory’s dancing kids – we will call them Suzy and Steve because Mallory once told me how much she likes those names – would have stood in line at one of the audition spots, awaiting their big break. I think it is clear to all of us that Steve is really the shining star of the pair. Suzy is cut, her SYTYCD career is over. Now for Steve. He has got good musicality, but does he have what it takes to compete? Steve gets put in the choreography group to see if he can learn and perfect a routine with other dancers. He’s good, but I doubt we will be seeing him in Vegas. There’s not much for a 5-year old to do there anyway. That’s basically how the selection process works.
The four hours of SYTYCD we got this week marked the end of this audition process. Tyce Diorio is one of the judges for one of these auditions. Tyce is normally a choreographer for the show, and we saw this week that he is apparently a bitchy queen. You may think this is harsh, so to back myself up, cue bitchy queen montage (at exactly 30 seconds):
But enough about Tyce. One kid in the Los Angeles auditions named Nathan was probably one of the most impressive male auditions of the season. The problem: he is 17 and you have to be 18 to participate. The judges were so taken by his performance they gave him a ticket to Vegas for next season when he is eligible. Nathan was followed by a Stacy who literally danced like she had stuck her finger in an electrical socket. No ticket for Stacy. She should call Suzy to commiserate.
I will leave you all for this week with Sex. No, this isn’t a joke. And he was back this season as well… in a dance-off.
I realize there are no clips of good dancing in tonight’s post. Fret not, readers. We have an entire summer of SYTYCD watching together.
[Posted by Chris, via Kathleen]
If everything goes according to plan, we’re going to have a weekly guest blogger give us a delightfully snarky recap of the night’s episode of So You Think You Can Dance. Meet Chris. He’s alright, I guess. Chris’ interests include interpretive dance, paleontology, a nice boxed wine (red, of course), lounging by his soon-to-be-open pool in his surfer dude shorts and Six Words to Change the World. What an introduction. Anyway, Chris we’ll be keeping us posted on So You Think You Can Dance season 5. And now, his inaugural post:
We’ve all been waiting for summer. Not for the warm weather. Not for the scantily-clad folks we see around town. Not because our apartment complex pool has opened. But because it marks the return of So You Think You Can Dance.
Hello SWTCTW! It’s Chris, your SYTYCD GB (guest blogger). That’s right. For the next however many weeks, I will be joining you on Thursday nights as your SYTYCD watch-party-guest-blogger-buddy, or SYTYCD WPBGB, as we say in the blogging biz.
I’m here for one reason – SYTYCD brings people together. Young and old, and even old and young. Minus Mary’s crazy screaming (there’s really no excuse for that nonsense), SYTYCD puts on TV the talent that we all think we possess at 12:30 a.m. on Saturday nights at the clubs (and P.S. I’ve seen the facebook pictures; we don’t really possess the talent).
I personally can’t wait for the episodes with the real dancing to start. Though I was a little offended by last night’s episode. Some of the moves they made fun of last night, I have spent weeks perfecting at the local bar…
And now, some clips from last season:
[Posted by Chris, via Kathleen]
Cat people are SO WEIRD. But let’s face it, sometimes really weird can be funny. Happy Friday/start of a three day weekend, y’all!
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under animals, definitely not politics, humor, music, pop culture, random, the arts, weird, YouTube
OH. MY. GOD.
Whatever competition this girl is trying to win, I hope she wins it.
Question: How on earth do you realize you have that talent?!
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under blogging, celebrities, music, pop culture, random, the arts, weird, YouTube
Let me preface this by saying this was passed on to me by one of the manliest men I know. RAWR! Okay, now we can begin.
Meat lovers, rejoice! Now you can integrate your carnivorous ways into the business world. How, you ask? BUSINESS CARDS MADE OUT OF BEEF JERKY.
I’m not making that up.
Here is a picture from their Web site, www.meatcards.com:
Hilarious and brilliant! Here’s more from the Web site:
Screw die-cutting. Forget about foil, popups, or UV spot lamination. THESE business cards have two ingredients:
MEAT AND LASERS.Unlike other business cards, MEAT CARDS will retain value after the econopocalypse. Hoard and barter your calorie-rich, life-sustaining cards.
MEAT CARDS do not fit in a Rolodex, because their deliciousness CANNOT BE CONTAINED in a Rolodex.
Now if only they could make business cards out of bacon…
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under blogging, definitely not politics, food, humor, news, pop culture, random, thoughts, weird
The geniuses at T-Mobile must be staring into my soul. They must know me, because I am obsessed with their viral video campaign and have dreamed each one of these scenarios. First, I posted the “Hey Jude” video, where thousands of people were singing together. Now, this one, with people dancing in a train station. Why doesn’t this happen where I live?!
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under adventures, crushes, dance, pop culture, random, thoughts, weird, YouTube
Remember Vince Offer? The ShamWow! hooker puncher? (His real name is actually Vince Schlomi. Teehee.) Well, here is remixed video of his Slap Chop infomercial, appropriately titled the “Rap Chop”. The person who made this ABSOLUTELY has too much time on their hands, but it is funny. Best part? “You’re gonna love my nuts”. Oh, Vince. How the mighty infomercial spokesman have fallen. And just for funsies, here is his mugshot.
[Posted by Kathleen]
SCROLL DOWN FOR STORY UPDATES
I just read some devastating, but kind of unsurprising, news. Jon Gosselin of “Jon and Kate Plus 8” definitely cheated on Kate. US Weekly has the whole story, which includes pictures. The other woman is Deanna Hummel, a 23-year-old third grade teacher. Her brother, Jason, lives with her and that’s why he can give all the juicy details. And in case you’re wondering, he’s just trying to protect his sister, not get publicity for himself or somehow finagle money out of this. Of course.
In fact, he’s trying to protect her so much that he takes away all of her privacy and any of her dignity with this gem of a quote:
A lot of the time, it was pretty, um, gross listening to her, you know, um — how do I say this? The walls are thin. Let’s just say that. I mean, no one wants to hear his sister having sex, let alone with a married dude who’s, like, almost twice her age and who has eight kids and a maybe-crazy wife. Ick. Nast.
Ick? Nast? Gross. I don’t really want to talk about the content of that quote, but I am obligated to point out that Jon isn’t “like, almost twice her age.” He’s 32, and she’s 23. He’s 14 years short of being twice her age. Just sayin’.
This whole thing is a mess.
Two weeks ago, when pictures surfaced of Jon in a car with “the mystery woman” (it was Deanna) leaving a club, he made this statement.
“I went to Legends to speak to the owner. A friend of mine wanted to check out my car, so I let her drive it to her car,” he says. “Yes, I have female friends — but that is all she is. I’m not going to end my friendships just because I’m on TV.”
Now Jon, that was stupid. Kate is going to hit you extra hard now when you’re sitting in that big chair talking about your day and the lessons you learned. Kate doesn’t like it when the kids lie, I doubt she’ll be very kind to you.
I wonder what TLC is going to do. They said “no comment” on the story last time. It’s all awful, and despite me thinking that Kate is really mean to Jon, there is no justification for his actions. He doesn’t get a pass. He has eight children under the age of seven. What on earth was he thinking? Did he think that nobody would recognize him?
I’m sad for the family, and most of all the children. One of the things the Gosselin’s show was praised for is how “real” it is. And we, their audience, really liked that. Well, the scenes with the kids are real. But the family dynamic is larger than just the day to day silliness of the kids.
Will this change the way you see the show?
Oh, and Aaden, if things get too tough at home, you can come live with me and Mallory. We’ll raise you. And get you a cuter pair of glasses.
UPDATED!
Here are the statements from Deanna Hummel and Jon Gosselin from People magazine:
“My brother is making this all up,” Hummel tells PEOPLE. “He has no credibility … I can’t even stomach the lies he’s saying about me.” Hummel continues to deny any sort of romantic relationship with Gosselin, and the elementary school teacher admits that there’s been bad blood between her and her brother for a while now. “My brother is very shady,” says Hummel. “He has no job. He has a criminal background. He was charged for drug distribution. He’s on probation right now.”
“These allegations are false and just plain hurtful,” Gosselin says in a statement exclusively to PEOPLE. “As I adjust to the attention that comes from being in the public eye, I need to be more careful and aware of who I am associating with and where I am spending my time. But the bottom line is, I did not cheat on Kate.
And the plot thickens!
Here are the pictures. Who do you believe?
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under babies, blogging, celebrities, family, news, pop culture, random, sex, thoughts, TV, Uncategorized, weird
Here is a quick piece of music news/a warning. Remember Creed? I’ll give you a moment while you cringe… are you okay? Yeah, those guys. Well, prepare for the second coming of the world’s worst faux-Christian rock band. (Second coming. Ha! Get it? Like Jesus?)
In an interview with Rolling Stone, Scott Stapp, the lead d-bag singer, calls the reunion a “a renewing and a rebirth”. I would venture to say it’s more of “a remistake and a reterrible”.
There are going to be plenty of tour dates…if you really care.
The guys already have demos and are looking to all the money making producers to scrounge up a hit single for them. Could we possibly see a Creed song featuring Timbaland? Maybe?
But what about Scotty’s solo CD?! He answers the most important question:
“It would be irresponsible for me to think about anything but Creed. This band is my first love and a first love that’s stood the test of time. It’s not hard to step away from any kind of personal agenda when you are totally fulfilled.”
A first love that stood the test of time… except when your band broke up for five years. Now, call me crazy, but it seems like perhaps Mr. Stapp realized a reunion tour might be his only chance to make lots of dollars. Maybe that’s what he means when he says totally fulfilled.
Some of you may wonder where all of this strong dislike for Creed comes from. Well first of all, the music sucks. But I think my real battle (if you couldn’t tell) is with Scott Stapp. Rolling Stone forgets to mention a few things. Creed broke up because Scott Stapp is a jerk. And it was all downhill from there. In 2006, he was arrested for public intoxication on the night of his wedding. His 6 year old son was the best man. Way to set a good example, Scott. Then, he was arrested for domestic abuse in 2007. Oh, and did you know he has a creepy sex tape with Kid Rock and a bunch of groupies on a bus?
KID ROCK.
Kid Rock and sex tape should not be in the same sentence. Ever.
So there you have it. You have been warned. Now please excuse me, I’m going to go listen to some Taylor Swift. THAT is music.
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under blogging, celebrities, music, pop culture, random, sex, thoughts, Uncategorized, weird
six words to change the world. 