by | February 3, 2010 · 1:13 pm

do not pass go! stop cheating!

I'm repulsed.

To celebrate the 75th anniversary of Monopoly, the world’s most monotonous and dragged out board game, Hasbro has decided to punish us all by taking away the only thing that made it interesting … the cheating.  Goodbye dear, sweet, corrupt banker.  Hello micro chip and credit cards! No, I am not making that up.

According to pocket-lint, the new version is round and the coveted role of the banker is played by a soulless electronic console in the middle.  Noooooooooo!

No more cold hard cash when you pass Go. No more making it rain a rainbow of dollars to celebrate your minor successes.  Devastating!  It’s all credit now.  So when you do pass Go, you get $200 in credit, which you are supposed to invest in low rent properties?  Credit card companies are arguably just as corrupt as banks, if not more so, and HAVE YOU SEEN THE MARKET THESE DAYS? I digress.

It’s not like I was a huge fan of Monopoly– but as I’ve mentioned before, it did show me that I’m bad at math and hate business, so there’s some value to that.  It’s more that I hate it when companies try to modernize their most iconic products.  I nearly went off the deep end when they changed the game of Clue!  Poor Professor Plum is now a nerdy gamer. Alas, the winds of change are blowing and it’s giving me a chill.  On the bright side, Miss Scarlett remains skanky.

So for the sake of nostalgia, let’s play the old version before it’s too late.

I’ll be the banker!  And I want to be the wheel barrow.

[Posted by Kathleen]

Note: I missed blogging.  And the thought of not blogging the Olympics/my love for Apolo Anton Ohno made me depressed.  I’m back.  Again.

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by | February 3, 2010 · 9:49 am

today is a google holiday, hooray!

Google Holiday: Norman Rockwell’s Birthday. Our buddy Norman would have been 116 today, assuming I’m capable of doing math this early. You, of course, know Rockwell from such famous works as these:

Rockwell is about as iconic as you can get here in America, and I found it sort of sad to read (on Wikipedia, duh) that a psychiatrist once told him that he painted his happiness, but did not live it. Let’s hope that changed by the end of his life.

If you happen to be in Stockbridge, Massachusetts later today, stop by the Norman Rockwell Museum to celebrate.

What I was Googling: Krispy Kreme

[Posted by Mallory]

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by | February 1, 2010 · 9:59 pm

some thoughts on last night’s grammys.

I’m taking advantage of the two hours of Bachelor that stretch before me to catch up on a little blogging. (While we’re on the topic…nice turtleneck, Jake.)

Shall we talk about the Grammys? Until I got bored about three-quarters of the way in, I was impressed. The performances were mostly fun and I managed to stay engaged and entertained, which rarely happens when I watch awards shows. It didn’t hurt that the show was infused with some country flavor. Nice work, Grammy people! Zac Brown Band, Lady Antebellum, Jennifer Nettles: you blow me away. T.Swift: well, that was hard to watch. But I’m sure Stevie Nicks is a damn intimidating person to sing with.

Also, remember how there was a crazy cute little boy with Jay-Z and Rhianna?

I SOLVED THE MYSTERY! It was Solange Knowles’ son, so Jay’s nephew. Cuteness to the max.

You’ll also be pleased to know that I watched almost until the end of the show waiting for Lady Gaga’s finale performance and then realized (thanks, Internets) that she was the opening act and I just hadn’t turned on the teevee in time. So I watched some bootleg version of the performance on YouTube and called it a night. Sigh.

I’m going to turn my full attention back to rotting my brain via reality television, but I’ll leave you with my favorite performance of the night:

Country music, you make me feel whole.

[Posted by Mallory]

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by | January 31, 2010 · 3:29 pm

not a puppy, but still cute.

I don’t dislike cats, but I just don’t really understand them.  The cats I’ve interacted with seem apathetic to the existence of all humans.  I want them to be dogs, and they aren’t.  But I’m sure that’s why cat lover’s love them.

Regardless, this video is pretty adorable.

Just a tip, watch it on mute.

[Posted by Shannon]

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by | January 31, 2010 · 1:29 pm

youtube clip of today: 911 call.

Don’t be skerd, this is actually adorable:

Thanks to guest blogger Madeline, yet again, for the tip!

[Posted by Mallory]

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by | January 30, 2010 · 1:58 pm

some great blogs you should read.

There are so many amazing blogs out there in the wild world of the Internets, and sometimes it’s hard to keep track. I myself read quite a few on a daily basis, and there are plenty I’d like to add to my list and don’t for fear that I would have no time in the day to do anything else. But no matter how long your lists are, I think these two are worth adding:

Unhappy Hipsters was started like yesterday by a friend of a friend and has blown the heck up. The authors have been getting calls from agents and newspapers and MTV and this shit is all over Twitter. And I’ve got to admit, it’s pretty hilarious. For instance:

And then there’s the way i wanted it to be, which I mentioned (but buried) in a post about how lame I am. I’ll say it here again: Atisha’s photos are gorgeous, and I find his writing oddly compelling. Take a look.

It is very important to me that if the authors of these two bloggies get famous, you are able to say that you heard it here first.

[Posted by Mallory]

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by | January 30, 2010 · 1:23 pm

on the wonder of the beard.

I know I’ve mentioned this before (ah yes, here, here, here, and here, among other places) : I love beards. Love them. If a dude has one, odds are I’m attracted to him, even if he is attractive in no other way, even if he’s 60 years old, etc. etc. Lately, beards have been all over the place!

First, Susnan sent me this song, with the recommendation that I listen to the last five seconds. You should too:

Then KTray sent me an email that included a link to various beard-y crafts on Etsy. My favorite was this one:

If you want to buy it for me, that would be okay.

A few days later, guest blogger Madeline sent me the following video. If you can’t tell me you love beards after watching it, then we probably shouldn’t be friends:

And then I had a dream that I was making out with Jamiroquai, and he had a great beard. This is particularly bizarre because (1) in my waking life I have no clue what Jamiroquai looks like and (2) I thought Jamiroquai was black, which was weird because in my dream he was white. Turns out, he actually is white, which means my subconscious knows things that my conscious doesn’t. (I also thought Winston Churchill was black until I was in high school. But Winston Churchill didn’t have a beard, so let’s not worry about him here.)

Enjoy the snow, DCites!

[Posted by Mallory]

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by | January 25, 2010 · 10:39 pm

guys, i’m addicted to the bachelor.

Confession: the only show I have been watching regularly this semester (as in, sitting down and watching it when it airs in real time) is The Bachelor. I know. I KNOW. Guys, this show is SO bad. Like, truly awful. It’s cheesy, it’s contrived, it’s uncomfortable to watch, and my roommate and I spend the entire TWO hours yelling at the television in exasperation.

And yet…I can’t stop watching.

It feels good to get that out.

(For the record: we are Team Gia slash Team Tenley slash Team WHO THE HELL IS JESSIE?!)

UPDATE: Apparently I am far from alone in this. About a million people have told me that they have similar inexplicable addictions to this trash. Jamie, Angie, Shan, Maddy, Kaitlin Van…I’m looking at you.

[Posted by Mallory]

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by | January 24, 2010 · 5:44 pm

just six words and a picture.

aka available advertising billboard in NZ.

[Posted by Shannon]

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by | January 20, 2010 · 9:26 am

oompa loompas don’t sing in heaven.

About a week ago, through E.Lee, Mr. Luz introduced me to the Sleep Talkin’ Man. The Sleep Talkin’ Man is an ordinarily “mild-mannered” English man, Adam, who says some crazy shiz in his sleep. His wife, entertained by all of the sleep talkin’ craziness, decided to start a blog to share Adam’s ramblings with the world.

Now, I’m a really deep sleeper, and I’ve been known to do some sleep talking in my day. (Just ask my roommates, who have at least pretended to be amused when really they probably hate(d) me for it.) But the stuff I say can never compare to Adam’s comments. Here’s a sampling:

“My bagder’s gonna unleash hell on your ass. Badgertastic!”

“Pork chops are most satisfying. Mmmmmmm. Dangle them from the ceiling.”

“Oompa loompas don’t sing in heaven. They tidy up the clouds.”

“Don’t… Don’t put the noodles and the dumplings together in the boat. They’ll fight! The noodles are bullies. Poor dumplings.”

“I’d rather peel off my skin and bathe my weeping raw flesh in a bath of vinegar than spend any time with you. But that’s just my opinion. Don’t take it personally.”

“I’ve got a badger, a dog, a cat, and a sack. Now that I’ve got ’em you can fuck off. All mine.”

I first heard about Sleep Talkin’ Man last week (how’s THAT for ahead of the curve?!), and now he’s getting some “serious” press in the form of British news shows and, this Friday, The Today Show. Go add him to your Google Reader and enjoy, and when the rest of the world starts talking about him on Friday afternoon, say “HA, old news.”

Also, some guy who was once naked in Cosmo beat some lawyer lady who is above campaigning in some important political race in Massachusetts. Sigh. This is something Kathleen would have covered in the good ol’ days, but now she has a “job” or some such thing. Instead, you can read funny things at Wonkette or serious things at the New York Times, or you can just put on your flannel nightgown and cry a little bit, like me. Your call!

[Posted by Mallory]

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