Tag Archives: facebook

by | July 30, 2008 · 5:41 am

kerry’s not just a democratic partier.

Our former Democratic presidential nominee, Sen. John Kerry is also a real partier. Or so these pictures, dug up by TMZ, would suggest. But here’s the thing–I don’t believe what the pictures suggest.

Because let’s face it, if you’re black out drunk and you run into anyone, and I mean ANYONE you know, you’re going to make them take pictures with you. And they, by default, will appear plastered as well. If you don’t believe me, please refer to Mallory’s cry face photos. I don’t know how to put this delicately, but John Kerry also has a permanent case of the drunk eyes. It’s not his fault. So basically, I believe the statement from his office:

“As Sen. Kerry and two friends left dinner at the Straight Warf restaurant on Nantucket and walked down the dock, a large group on a boat recognized Senator Kerry and asked if they could have a photo taken. The group came off the boat and onto the dock, took a photo with Sen. Kerry and his friends, and then Sen. Kerry and his two friends immediately walked away. End of story.”

These biddies, according to TMZ, are sophomores and juniors in college. But they’re also constituents! And, it has been reported, one of them was drinking out of a (gasp!) penis straw. Sophomores and juniors, you say? Yeah, that sounds about right.

So here are some of the pictures. What do you think?

The girl in the green dress has made a spectacular collegiate showing in these photos. I’d personally like to extend my congratulations and sheer appreciation that she wisely chose to wear underwear that night. I’d also like to send my condolences to you, dear girl, because now everybody that goes on the internet knows you’re a sloppy drunk/the annoying girl that makes dumb faces in EVERY FREAKING PHOTO. (You all know the kind of girl I’m talking about.)

So despite thinking the photos aren’t that big of a deal, please, make all the jokes you want, because John Kerry looks like real Democratic, um, donkey. (Read: he looks like a huge ass.) These pict-chas are hysterical. If this was me and my girrrrrrls, helllllz yeah, I wouldn’t just Facebook ’em, I’d tag ’em too! Which means I’m serious.

And here is my final thought. Even if he is partying with a bunch of college sluts like a huge douche, whatever. At least he’s partying. Because we all know the Republican party is neither a republic, nor a party. Discuss amongst yourselves.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | June 16, 2008 · 5:12 pm

yo, want 2 swing dance 2nite?

Everyone loves a good “how we met” story. You know, the kind that makes movies like Must Love Dogs (uggh, it kills me to think that I’ll never get those two hours of my life back) seem normal. I love it when my parents tell theirs. If you have ever read wedding announcements/seen 27 Dresses or care about that sort of stuff at all, you know the “how we met” story is the icing on the wedding cake.

But with all of the chick flicks out there to let us know how it should be, you know when a “how we met” story is really bad.

Ex- “Well, I was at one end of the bar and he was at the other. After all of his friends had tried with me, I finally agreed when he asked to buy me a drink because he seemed like the nicest and I wanted to have enough money left over for a cab. We ended up making out at the bar and he Facebooked me later that night.”

Here is my favorite though-this one truly takes the, err, wedding cake. An old friend recently got engaged. Out of pure obligation and a touch of nosiness, one of my BFFLs (LYLAS) asked his fiancée how they met. To this the fiancée responded:

“We met on MySpace. You got a problem with that?”

YES, I DO. But that’s because I hate MySpace with the passion of 18 million angry Hillary voters.

Obviously this girl was on the defensive. She knew that her story was anything but cute. She knows how it is perceived, so she lied to her parents. She told her parents they met swing dancing. SWING DANCING. Yup. Just off the top of my head, I can name a few trillion things more believable and plausible than that. But this brings to mind the question: where do you go to meet someone swing dancing? Plus, I don’t know many single dudes that would go to a swing dancing event. But whatev. If that’s the fantasy she wants, let her have it.

When we spend most of our time online and plugged in, it’s no shock (sadly) that it becomes the dating arena. The biggest step you need to make is Facebooking them. From their Facebook you can get a phone number. And then, you can send a text: hey what r u doing tonight.

I don’t condemn it, but I don’t like it. I will condemn it, however, if it has anything to do with MySpace. Is your engagement photo going to be a longarm style black and white pouty face with added sparkles? If that happens to you, lie to me. Because deep down I still have faith that true “how we met” stories can be cute. I, of course, expect to meet the love of my life at a political rally, realize we love the same Disney movies and old movie musicals, talk about Barack, eat lots of ice cream and live happily ever after. But that’s just me.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | June 13, 2008 · 2:13 pm

i’ve got a crush on obama.

I am completely and utterly Barackupied. Those who know me know this. I received more phone calls and texts when Obama secured the Democratic nomination than I did on my birthday. And that is totally okay with me.

When you’re extremely involved in politics, you feel like you are on a first name basis with your candidate. It’s almost as if you are dating. But not, because that’s real creepy.

It still has many traits of a real relationship though:

Your friends begin to wonder where you are.
Ex-“Where is she? She said she was going to be here! Oh that’s right, she’s with HIM again.”

You are smitten. And when you are with your friends, you can find little else to talk about. You keep going until you see them roll their eyes. And even then, it’s hard to stop.
Ex-“Do you know what Barack did today? He gave hope to the entire world and then cured cancer! Isn’t he just so great?!”

You stalk him on Facebook and Google his name. When he loses, you feel like a loser. And when he wins, you feel like the wind beneath his wings. Cue the music.

You get mad at him when he messes up. It’s all you can think about and you’re embarrassed to tell your friends because you want them to like him. But word travels fast and they call you up to see how you’re doing. You scream at him via CNN, “WHY, OH WHY DID YOU HAVE TO SAY THAT?”

But you stand by your man. Then he does something so wonderful (like this) that you forget all about the pettiness and minor slip ups, and remember why you fell in love with him in the first place-the right stance on the issues that matter to you and the ability to really make a difference and really change the world.

I was furious when this came out because this was TOTALLY my idea. But I’m okay with it now.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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