Author Archives: K

by | July 26, 2008 · 7:34 pm

here come the men in black.

So according to a former Apollo 14 (not 13) astronaut, aliens exist–they not only exist, they’ve visited us multiple times over the years, but our big, bad government has covered it up (a government conspiracy theory? Gasp! How revolutionary!). But not to fear, friends, because Dr. Edgar Mitchell assures us that if they were hostile and wanted us to be dead by now, we would be. Phew! The good doctor told all of this told all of this to Kerrang! radio. You can listen to the radio show here, or just read these quotes.

“I happen to have been privileged enough to be in on the fact that we’ve been visited on this planet and the UFO phenomena is real.”

“It’s been well covered up by all our governments for the last 60 years or so, but slowly it’s leaked out and some of us have been privileged to have been briefed on some of it.”

“I’ve been in military and intelligence circles, who know that beneath the surface of what has been public knowledge, yes – we have been visited. Reading the papers recently, it’s been happening quite a bit.”

Wow, he sounds–to use his word AGAIN, privileged. Here’s some more good news. Aliens look EXACTLY like we expected them to! Big eyes, big heads, and small bodies. And who doesn’t like being right?

Now, I know it isn’t my place to judge or say what is real and what is not (but this blog is 50% mine and I’m going to do what I want, duh). And despite the fact that Dr. Mitchell did a moonwalk and is very smart, I think he’s being a tad bit moony about this. I mean, come on. Aliens? Really? But then again, if you’ve ever been to a Waffle House between the hours of 11 p.m. and 5 a.m., it is convincing. There are some strange looking folks there…

Anyway, I did some thinking and made a list of aliens I wouldn’t mind running into and those I would. Here are some that I would feel fairly okay about:

Here are those that would most likely upset me:

And finally, the scariest of all:

Ugh. And just because I’m feeling frisky, here is a music video featuring a really talented alien:

Let me see you just bounce with me, just bounce with me, just bounce with me. Come on just slide with me, now slide with me…

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | July 26, 2008 · 6:26 pm

youtube clip of today: last lecture.

Last year, Professor Randy Pausch gave his final lecture at Carnegie Mellon. Pausch, a computer science professor, had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and given just a month or so. He died on Friday. Here is the video of his moving last lecture, titled, “Achieving Your Childhood Dreams”. This lecture became an internet sensation, a book, and Pausch even made an appearance on Oprah.

While over 400 people attended his original lecture and millions have since heard his speech, he said his message was ultimately for his three children. He wrote in his book:

“I was trying to put myself in a bottle that would one day wash up on the beach for my children.”

How eloquent is that?

RIP Randy Pausch, thank you for your wisdom. He said, “If I don’t seem as depressed or morose as I should be, sorry to disappoint you.” You didn’t disappoint, Randy, you inspired.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | July 25, 2008 · 3:21 am

everybody has seen his teenie weenie.

One time, my roommate painted me naked for one of her art projects. Before you think this is really scandalous, let me clarify- I was wearing a bra and she made up my boobs. (One night, after having a little too much wine, I went on and on about how she painted them saggy. They are, in real life and the painting, anything but. HA!) As part of her project’s theme, she censored my face. The painting was picked up by one of our university’s academic journals, and suddenly, fliers of my body were all around school. Everywhere I looked I saw myself. And even though you couldn’t see my face, I felt like I was in that dream where you are naked in front of the entire school. Because I was. Anyway, that’s a long introduction to what I really want to talk about. Imagine if you were on the cover of an album that represented an entire generation, naked. So basically, naked in front of the entire universe.

Meet Spencer Elden. Well, you’ve already met him. In the quasi-intimate sense. He’s the baby on Nirvana’s famous “Nevermind” album, floating merrily along reaching for that dolla dolla bill, ya’ll.

And NPR (I love love love NPR) did a story on him.

“Quite a few people in the world have seen my penis,” he says from his home in Los Angeles. “So that’s kinda cool. I’m just a normal kid living it up and doing the best I can while I’m here.”

You know what, that is kinda cool. Power to you, man. Wonder what it’s like to be him on a daily basis?

“My friend is all like, ‘Hey I saw you today.’ And I’m like, ‘Dude, I was working all day.’ And he’s like, ‘No, I went to Geffen Records, and you’re on the floor and you’re floating and I stepped on your face. ‘Cause I guess they have like a floating thing where people can like walk on me and stuff … so it’s kinda cool,” he says.

That’s kinda cool too, Spencer. He might just be one of the most non-famous famous kids out there. And he’s kind of kickass. Badass too, because his parents sent him to military school for a bit. Here he is now, all growed up:

Read the piece on this kid. He doesn’t just smell like teen spirit, he reeks of it. Kurt Cobain would be proud, dude.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | July 24, 2008 · 10:25 pm

twisters in the granite state. eek.

There were terrible storms, tornadoes and floods today in my home state of New Hampshire. While most of this was happening, I was happily perched on my couch with my trusty MacBook on my lap and Chinese Crested Hairless dog at my side, totally and utterly oblivious to the devastation–until I got frantic phone calls from my loved ones. “Are you okay?! Are you in the basement?!” Wait, what? Oh there’s a tornado you say? And it’s headed towards me?! My ignorance had been bliss as I was watching Project Runway and Shear Genius reruns and blogging away. And as much as I hate to admit it, I got a little scared.

I flipped on our news channel, WMUR, and sure enough, things were bad. Obviously the first thing that came to my mind was the movie Twister. If I can connect anything to a movie, song, or something political, count on it.

God, that movie is good. I can still feel the adrenaline rush from the first time I saw it, and I’ve seen it approximately 900 times since then. I had dreams of cruising around in an old van with Dusty (who makes my list of coolest fictional movie characters and is oddly attractive to me), singing and searching for twisters. Perhaps I, too, would get to see a cow casually go by. Ahh, good times. But as I was grabbing my dog and running to the basement it hit me: this movie romanticizes something that in real life is very scary.

The truth is, my experience was neither traumatic nor dramatic. After some time of hanging out in my cold and unfinished basement, things were fine. Sadly, people in the town of Epsom had a much harder time. I’m very fortunate, because the only thing I really have to talk about is a Helen Hunt and Bill Paxton movie. New Hampshire is in a state of emergency, so keep the state in your prayers. A lot of people need it. To read about it, click here. I feel very lucky right now.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | July 24, 2008 · 4:41 pm

youtube clip of today: magic hands.

This video is just cool. I cannot make a hand shadow puppet that looks like anything other than a creature with a big mouth and huge eyes. It resembles no real animal, but it’s all I got. But whoever did this is amazing, and probably has even more time on their hands than I do.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | July 24, 2008 · 4:25 pm

richard simmons: sweatin’ to the congress?

Here is a delightful thought for your Thursday afternoon! Fitness master and supreme god of the tacky workout videos Richard Simmons alluded to his dreams of someday being a member of the US Congress. He’s already at the Capitol–today he testified to the House Education and Labor Committee about childhood obesity. Here is what went down. This, of course, comes from CNN’s Political Ticker.

In a half-serious, half-jocular tone, Simmons described his approach to the hearing, saying, “I want to have the respect of a congressman, I want to talk like a congressman, and maybe, someday, I’ll be a congressman.”

But you already have our respect RS! People don’t respect congressmen and women that much. In fact, they are the least liked branch of government! I bet more people watch your workout videos (god love them) than C-SPAN. Then, he cited Jesse Ventura as an example of celebrity-gone-politician. Just me, but if I was going to make a case for that, I don’t think I would use “The Body” as my example. Maybe Ronald Reagan? Whatev. He continued,

“After this congressional hearing, I will go home,” Simmons said, “I will talk with my Dalmatian dogs, I will pray to God and then I’ll see what else I can do to help.”

He would have dalmatians. And he would talk to them.

I personally think it would be kind of fun to have him in the House, as long as he’s right on with his policy and votes the way I want him to. Haha. I mean, this man has made millions of middle-aged people get off the couch and sweat to oldies, all while prancing around saying “I’m a pony! I’m a pony!” in short shorts. If elected, do you think he would wear a suit? The idea of Richard Simmons in anything other than shorts shorts just seems…unethical. That aside, just think of all the things he could inspire his fellow members of Congress to do! To prove how Richie can move mountains, I found a youtube video of his epic workout tapes, but somebody updated it and put it to the greatest song ever recorded–“Walk It Out” by DJ Unk. Haha. Anyway, enjoy. And in the great words of JFK, ask not what your country can do for you, but what Richard Simmons can do for your country.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | July 24, 2008 · 7:37 am

meet the fuwa: fugly olympic mascots.

Politics of it aside, I totally have Olympic fever (obvious, I know.) And for some bizarre reason, the mascot of each Olympic games is a huge deal. The only mascot I ever remember is from the Atlanta games, because it was just that ugly. Also, I was interviewed on the streets of Philly by the local news and asked to describe it. At the tender age of 10, I oh-so-eloquently described it as a “deformed duck”. Blame it on my youth, but at the time I neglected to call it what it most closely resembled–a Fresh Prince of Bel-Air styled big blue slug. I feel it is important to note that it was also referred to as “sperm in sneakers”. I snickered at that one. Here is Izzy, world’s fugliest Olympic mascot:

The name Izzy, by the way, comes from “Whatizit?”. Haha. How 90s (read: tacky/lame/awesome/those shoes) is that?

Anyway, the Wall Street Journal (which I usually never read, by the way. Too business like and boring. But it was about the Olympics, so…) had an interesting piece yesterday about the Beijing Games’ Mascots. All five of them. So these monsters are called the Fuwa. But I’m just going to say it now because it needs to be said and it is so painfully obvious: THEY LOOK LIKE FREAKING POKEMON. Here they are, gotta catch ’em all!:

According to the artist, who is not feeling so good about his work, these are children–with animal qualities. On which planet, buddy? Because the second one looks legit straight up panda to me. I bet the other children at school make fun of him. And force him to eat bamboo. Oh, and what in god’s name is the yellow one, you ask? A golden lucifer? Beijing Olympic Mr. Tumnus, perhaps? Well, duh, it’s a Tibetan antelope. But wait a second…aren’t Tibet and China in some sort of political conflict? And I thought antelopes were in Africa? Nah, nevermind.

So what do you think of these? Will you collect them all? And how pumped are you for the Olympics? By the way, the start date is August 8, 2008. Or, more cleverly and easily marketed, 08.08.08. Nice.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | July 23, 2008 · 2:08 pm

now that’s a fine looking mustache.

Before I say anything at all let me get this out of the way: it’s been awhile since we’ve posted–we know, and now we’re back. Hooray! Alright. Down to business. Because this is important.

One thing that has always puzzled me about men is how they handle the issue of facial hair. To them, it’s a serious matter. I remember after high school graduation (I went to Catholic school, and the boys had to be clean shaven) every boy tried to grow a goatee. Some succeeded, most failed. But they all talked about it, whether it was peach fuzz or a freaking forest.

The goatee seems to be the baby step and primer to the ultimate manly facial hair goal-a nice full beard. Rawr. But what about the mustache? Is that the in between? It is so mysterious. It can be very serious or anything but. There are so many different types- from the handle bar to the Super Mario to the “molestache” to the Tom Selleck. All are intriguing.

So I found this slideshow absolutely delightful! It is a collection of the best sports mustaches. The virile combination of sports and facial hair. It doesn’t get any better than this. Good morning! Oh, and if you can bring any clarity to the facial hair thing, please let me know.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | July 18, 2008 · 4:26 pm

baa ram ewe. army be true.

Remember how I said I was a thrice failed vegetarian? Besides burgers (mmm…), the other reason for my failure, and I am not joking in the slightest, is the movie Babe. Remember? The one with the amazingly cute little pig? If not, I suggest you Netflix that right now. Alas, I wish I was going to continue talking about Babe (which I Google Image searched and did not get what I was looking for…until I put “the pig” after it. Eeek! Haha.). Instead, I’m going to rant a tad.

Anyway, if a fictional story about a pig could inspire me to give up meat for over a year, imagine my reaction to this news story: the Army is using pigs as test dummies, shooting at them and then treating their wounds as practice for the field. That’s just cruel! They, of course, say there will be vets around to treat the animals. But they are shooting them with M4 carbines and M16 rifles–I don’t think I could survive that.

But the spokesman for the 25th Infantry Division told us that everything is fine, because the pigs are anesthetized. Oh, that’s great. Make these poor creatures dumb with drugs and then shoot at them. Come on!

One soldier got upset and then anonymously notified PETA. I think that takes a strong person.

Kathy Guillermo, director of PETA’s Laboratory Investigations Department said, “shooting and maiming pigs is outdated as Civil War rifles.” Fact. I do, however, know one Civil War reenactor–and he might take offense to that statement. Sorry!

We can’t condemn other nations for human and animal rights violations and then turn around and do something like this. I recognize the need to make our military as strong as can be, but with all the technology and money in the Department of Defense budget (the highest EVER), don’t you think they could come up with a different method? Apparently there are “hi-tech human simulators” out there. Use them.

You know how Farmer Hoggett says to Babe, “that’ll do, Pig. That’ll do,” at the end of the day? Well, I think “that’ll do, hi-tech human simulator. That’ll do,” flows just as nicely.

And here are a couple of pictures. Just to make your hearts as sappy as my own.

[Posted by Kathleen}

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by | July 18, 2008 · 1:56 am

youtube clip of today: run, emily!

Okay, so I usually only post videos that I can put into the post, you know, just to make things easier for you–I’m just that nice. But this video is SO funny, and SO good, that I am willing to overlook the fact that it needs to be linked. I hope you can too.

Click here, NOW.

Yay Emily! Run, girl! If I did this, my parents would be so proud! No joke. Though I do have to wonder, where did she think she was going? If you notice, she never really runs in a straight line. From what I remember from my nature classes as a child (yes, I was nature girl), this is the recommended technique to use when running away from creatures such as alligators. Or scary presidents. Emily, I think you’re really cool.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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