Tag Archives: naked

by | January 8, 2009 · 12:43 am

all hail the naked vail skier.

Picture your most humiliating nightmare.  Perhaps you are naked in front of a crowd.  Mine might involve looking like I was 13 again.  You’re thinking about it now.  Mortifying, is it not?  Well some poor dude in Vail lived a very imaginative nightmare.  Like the only funny scene from an unbearably unfunny Jim Carrey movie, he found himself dangling upside down from a ski lift san pants with his dangly parts totally exposed in the frigid cold.  Errr… here are the pictures.  You can’t make this shit up.

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HAHAHAHA

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And finally, he is showed some mercy.

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Stifle your laughter, fools!  The man suffered from exposure!  Okay, you can giggle, because it is comedy of the absurd.

According to the press release, he was suspended for about seven minutes.  NOT seven minutes in heaven, I’m sure.  Pantsless man, I know nothing we, your fellow Americans, can ever do will erase the pain of this ordeal, but I propose that any time you go to a bar, your drinks are free.  But you know who I feel worst for?  His kid.  Sitting right next to him.  Hahaha. oh dear.  Therapy much?

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | September 21, 2008 · 2:52 am

she’s back! and still really naked.

Remember Jennifer Moss?  I wrote about her a few months ago.  She was the lady who just wanted to patriotically parade in Oregon on Independence Day riding a bike, sans clothing?  Ahh, now you remember.  Well, she did have a hemp g-string…so she wasn’t totally nakey.  Sheeeeeeeee’s back!  And this time around, her name is being spelled by the press with a G.  So she’s Gennifer Moss.  No word on how that happened.

Anyway, she had a run in with the PoPo after construction workers–yes, construction workers (PRUDES!)–complained about her affinity for nude in-line skating.  Ummm…hello?  Do these men have mutated genetic codes?  I’m totally baffled.

From the Oregonian:

“We confronted her and told her that she couldn’t expose her genitalia,” said police spokeswoman Cathe Kent. “She complied.”

In other words, she whipped out a string bikini bottom and continued on her only slightly less Lady Godiva-like way.

Haha, that a girl, Gen!

The police said most of the calls they received from people other than the prudish construction workers weren’t complaints about her lack of clothing, but rather her personal safety.  Awww!  There is good in this world.

She now also goes by the nickname, Earth Friend Gen.  And she has her own MySpace channel.  Yes, she is naked in some of the videos, you sick group of perverts.  Watch the videos here.  She also posted pictures of herself…yes, naked as well.  One of the captions says, “I love being naked and free!”  No doubt about that, EFG.

Oh, Gennifer!  She’s totally cra-crazy, but you do have to admire her spirit.  Keeping rockin’ out with your boobs out, lady.  Whether that means riding a bike in a hemp g-string leading a group of skaters while blowing on a conch shell (FACT.  She actually wanted to do that) or letting all hang out while you skate around.  You’re kind of cool.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | August 4, 2008 · 4:32 pm

quick takes on some “news” stories.

When I say news, I’m not taking about world news or current affairs. I’m talking about things I find interesting. You know, quirky news.

  • The world’s smallest snake was found in Barbados. Ewwwwwww. It is as wide as a strand of spaghetti and can be up to four inches long. As if I wasn’t afraid of snakes already, now I have to be afraid of snakes that I can’t even see. If I’m ever in Barbados. Oh, and here’s the best. The scientist who discovered it named it Leptotyphlops carlae, after his wife, Carla. Carla is a herpetologist. Hmmm. I’m pretty sure I graduated with a few herpetologists.
  • Jen Moss must be loving life right now. On Saturday, dozens, perhaps hundreds of bike riders rode the streets of St. Louis as naked as they dared. The World Naked Bike Ride (careful if you’re at work, there is nudity on the web site) protests the cost of oil. And let’s face it, it’s an excuse to ride around on your bicycle nakey. According to eyewitnesses, lots of boobs and thongs. Good times. Oh, and to make it even better, the 10 mile ride ended at a bar. GOOD PLANNING!
  • Lindsay Lohan’s leeeeetle seeeeester, Ali Lohan, “accidentally” auditioned for a horror movie directed by a well-known porn director, Peter Davy. HA! Her rep says Ali didn’t know about his past, which includes “Voodoo Lust” and “Dreams in the Forbidden Zone” (RAWR!), and if she did she would not have auditioned. Question: does Ali Lohan book her own auditions? I’m pretty sure her agents aren’t that dumb. And isn’t it strange that she has a reality show right now? My my, that sounds like such a good plot line!

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | July 25, 2008 · 3:21 am

everybody has seen his teenie weenie.

One time, my roommate painted me naked for one of her art projects. Before you think this is really scandalous, let me clarify- I was wearing a bra and she made up my boobs. (One night, after having a little too much wine, I went on and on about how she painted them saggy. They are, in real life and the painting, anything but. HA!) As part of her project’s theme, she censored my face. The painting was picked up by one of our university’s academic journals, and suddenly, fliers of my body were all around school. Everywhere I looked I saw myself. And even though you couldn’t see my face, I felt like I was in that dream where you are naked in front of the entire school. Because I was. Anyway, that’s a long introduction to what I really want to talk about. Imagine if you were on the cover of an album that represented an entire generation, naked. So basically, naked in front of the entire universe.

Meet Spencer Elden. Well, you’ve already met him. In the quasi-intimate sense. He’s the baby on Nirvana’s famous “Nevermind” album, floating merrily along reaching for that dolla dolla bill, ya’ll.

And NPR (I love love love NPR) did a story on him.

“Quite a few people in the world have seen my penis,” he says from his home in Los Angeles. “So that’s kinda cool. I’m just a normal kid living it up and doing the best I can while I’m here.”

You know what, that is kinda cool. Power to you, man. Wonder what it’s like to be him on a daily basis?

“My friend is all like, ‘Hey I saw you today.’ And I’m like, ‘Dude, I was working all day.’ And he’s like, ‘No, I went to Geffen Records, and you’re on the floor and you’re floating and I stepped on your face. ‘Cause I guess they have like a floating thing where people can like walk on me and stuff … so it’s kinda cool,” he says.

That’s kinda cool too, Spencer. He might just be one of the most non-famous famous kids out there. And he’s kind of kickass. Badass too, because his parents sent him to military school for a bit. Here he is now, all growed up:

Read the piece on this kid. He doesn’t just smell like teen spirit, he reeks of it. Kurt Cobain would be proud, dude.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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