It’s me, Kathleen, your long lost backpacking blogger. I’m back from South America and I look tan! Wooohooo! I went to five countries in 32 days, had “stomach issues” and saw flamingos. Some other stuff too, I guess. Now this is going to sound lame, but one of the things I missed most while away was writing for this blog. Obviously though, M and M held down the fort quite well. In fact, I’m happy to still have a “job” with this blog. And a job it will be, because I still do not have a real one. Haha.
It’s good to be back!
Oh, and just because it’s Wednesday, here is a special edition South American adventure Machu Picchu hump day cry face. (Yes, it was taken with a timer. What of it?):
You know when you’re faced with a really tough problem and you finally realize that the only real solution is to get naked? Preferably somewhere public? No? Whatever, if you were French you would know what I was talking about.
Yesterday, more than 20 artists’ models, male and female, stripped naked and braved Paris’ freezing temperatures to protest against a ban on tips and demand better pay and recognition. The artists decided to protest after Parisian authorities recently made the decision to enforce a ban on artists’ tips or “cornet.” One artist told Reuters,
“We’re very badly paid and it’s always been that way,” said model Carole Kras, who joined others in the courtyard of a 16th century palace that houses the Paris cultural affairs offices.
“We’ve always had the ‘cornet’ to make up for some of that but now they want to get rid of it,” she said, as shivering colleagues got dressed after briefly disrobing.
The models work for the city of Paris and pose for students and professional artists making an average wage of 10 euros an hour (about $13). The models are also protesting for greater professional recognition. Carole Karus described the job saying, “It is a profession, it’s tiring. Because it’s physical, you need a lot of endurance and it’s also expressive,” she said. “We’re performers who play non-speaking roles, that’s the way I always think of it.”
Neither public protests or public nudity are anything new in Paris, I saw quite a lot of both when I lived there so the protest didn’t gain much attention from the public. However, the cultural affairs office in Paris took notice and a representative said they believe a solution can be found.
In a city that is itself a work of art, nude models and artists are as important as sidewalk cafes and baguettes. I have a feeling that an agreement will be reached soon, hopefully before the artists freeze their tatas off (because that would make for some very strange art).
All the way back in 1986, Newsweek magazine, in an article titled “Too Late for Prince Charming?” reported on a study that said single women over the age of 40 were more likely to be killed by a terrorist than get married. This video is the response to that statistic:
There are so many pieces of wonderfully terrible advice in this video that I really just have to let the video speak for itself (although, a small stuffed animal? Really?!). Even if you think you have gained enough information to make your head explode halfway through, please make sure to watch the video through to the end; the last piece of advice is undoubtedly the best.
It’s called “Want To Hear Something Embarrassing About Me?” and if you’re my friend, you get to play it with me every day (and sometimes witness said embarrassing moments). Today’s answer is…
I have eaten the same dish from the same Thai restaurant for dinner three days in a row.
Three cheers for variety!
(Although, in the grand scheme of my life, or even this semester, it’s just a blip. Just ask the two people I had dinner with tonight.)
I’ve been on campus for an hour, and haven’t done any work yet. Why, you ask? Because of the Top Five Favorite Foods Game. I’m not sure if I have talked about this game on the blog yet, but today I played with my “bosses.” The rules vary from game to game, but for the purposes of this game, categories (i.e. Mexican food) and drinks were forbidden. So here’s a peek into my life (or just my Gmail):
Subject: i want to play!
————————
From: Jen
Date: Wed, Dec 10, 2008 at 10:36 AM
To: Mallory, Go
Are these foods discretionary? i.e. Are all of my nutritional needs already met? If so, then my list is as follows:
5. Broccoli is tied with Soy Sauce
4. Macaroni and Cheese
3. Garlic
2. Bacon
1. Krispy Kreme donuts
———- From: Jen
Date: Wed, Dec 10, 2008 at 10:38 AM
To: Mallory, Go
Crap. I forgot coffee, beer, and mayonnaise.
———- From: Mallory
Date: Wed, Dec 10, 2008 at 10:38 AM
To: Jen, Go
Yes, totally discretionary. There is a different game about which foods you would eat if you could only eat five for the rest of your life. Go and I think you cheated because you can’t have a tie. Other than that, good choices.
———- From: Go
Date: Wed, Dec 10, 2008 at 10:40 AM
To: Mallory, Jen
HAHAHAHAHAHA, broccoli and soy sauce?!? Ok, just to update you, these are Mallory and my top five favorite foods as of this morning:
Mallory
#5 Stuffing
#4 Goat cheese
#3 Pizza
#2 Salsa
#1 Breakfast sandwiches (e.g., sausage, egg and cheese on toast, bagel or English muffin)
Put a little boogie in it! Ha-that one will never get old. Unless, of course, you pick your nose so much that you bleed to death. Which is exactly what happened to Ian Bothwell who passed away in September at the age of 63 as a result of too much nose-picking. I imagine that booger jokes lose their appeal at that point–for a variety of reasons.
The Manchester, England coroner who examined Bothwell determined that, “”There is no explanation for this death other than he died from a nose-bleed, consistent with picking his nose. I do not think for a moment he knew what he was doing was going to cause his death.” According to the UK Telegraph, the death was recorded as a “misadventure.”
I have to lay off the snark a little here because it’s actually quite a sad story. Poor Ian Bothwell fell into a life of alcoholism after suffering a brain hemorrhagewhen he was 20. He couldn’t keep a job and had only one living relative, a sister who he had only seen once in 30 years. And then . . . he died from picking his nose. So let’s all do Ian Bothwell a favor. Let’s learn from his mistake and memorialize him by blowing more often than not. If you absolutely cannot fight the urge then please, pick with caution–it could be a matter of life and death.
When I was in elementary school I wrote a “book” about visiting the boardwalk during a storm. Except that it was actually about visiting the doardwalk because the letter b was hard to wrap my mind around. Then I wrote a book about a dog named Penny who had puppies. Both were illustrated by the author. Neither was any good (of course, my mom would tell you otherwise).
Alec Greven, a fourth grader at Soaring Hawk Elementary School in Castle Rock, Colorado, has also written a book. The only difference between his book and my book is that his is a national best seller. Alec wrote “How to Talk to Girls” when he was eight as part of a school project. Based on his life experiences and playground observations the book contains such advice as:
Sometimes, you get a girl to like you and then she ditches you. Life is hard, move on!
Tip: About 73 percent of regular girls ditch boys; 98 percent of pretty girls ditch boys.
(from Chapter One: The Facts of Life)
It should be noted that those statistics are not national figures, they pertain only to Alec’s observations of girls at Soaring Hawk Elementary. The book impressed his teacher and principal so much that they decided to sell it for three dollars at the school’s book fair, where it became the fair’s best-seller. Harper Collins published the book last month and now Alec is dispensing his dating advice to boys of all ages all over the country. Some of his best advice?
“You also have to be aware that girls win most of the arguments and have most of the power. If you know that now, things might be easier.” (Chapter One: The Facts of Life)
That is a fact of life, indeed. Way to go Alec. To enjoy all of Alec’s advice you should probably buy his book or ask Santa to bring it to you for Christmas. In the meantime, enjoy some more of Alec’s innocent wisdom:
Many boys who have crushes don’t know how to act around a girl. Some boys tease girls they like and are mean to them. Some boys say silly things to girls and act goofy. Some boys think they are acting cool by showing off.
This is not a good approach.
. . . . . . . . . . . . .
Whatever happens, just don’t act desperate. Girls don’t like desperate boys
. . . . . . . . . . . .
The right thing to do when you have a crush is:
Never show off too much
Don’t be silly and goofy
Control your hyperness (cut down on sugar if you need to)
Make sure you have good friends who won’t try to take the girl you like.
I know what my brother is getting for Christmas . . .
Sacre Bleu! Conde Nast employees (those that are left, anyway) are squirming with the too-delicious-to-be-true/reduced fat rumor that Vogue dictator-in-chief editor Anna Wintour is soon to be replaced by her french counterpart Carine Roitfeld. Vite! Somebody get Anne Hathaway to run across Paris in four-inch heels, storm into Anna Wintour’s suite, and remove all of the freesia from the flower arrangements!
Wintour’s contract is soon to expire, shortly after celebrating her 20th anniversary last Spring, and the rumor-mill has her out of a job as early as January 1st. Gawker has more of the juicy details here. Whatever happens, a major change on Vogue’s masthead would turn the fashion world and magazine publishing world upside down. Although considering the publishing industry has already been tied by its ankles to the top of the Conde Nast building, a shake-up of this proportion could flip everything back to where its supposed to be (and then the hiring freeze will be over and I can have a job!).
You end a sentence/phrase with a preposition, your AP English teacher has a heart attack. You arrange a sentence/phrase so that it doesn’t end in a preposition, you sound like an elitist douche. When given the choice, I’ll obviously go for the latter.
Anyway, seeing that Madeline (the “guest” slash obviously permanent blogger) has beat me to breaking our dry spell, I was overwhelmed with Catholic guilt. Friends, it’s not that I haven’t wanted to blog in the past few days. I really have. It’s just that I’ve been too overwhelmed with work, to the point that blogging would have caused me even more Catholic guilt. So I cut my losses.
Now that I’m home on break, I have a little more time on my hands. In light of the upcoming holiday o’ food, I’ve decided to share a random list of some things for which I am thankful. In no particular order…
1. Stovetop stuffing. And while we’re at it, the cranberry sauce that looks like the can in which it came (now I’m super paranoid about the preposition thing, dammit). We’re not exactly fancy in my family.
2. Michael Franti. I saw him for the first time back in July, and I fell further in love with him when I saw him at the 9:30 Club in DC last Wednesday. Even if you think you wouldn’t like his music, I’d encourage you to go to one of his concerts. He has an amazing ability to put on the BEST SHOW EVER. His energy is just unbelievable. It didn’t hurt that he made me laugh, made me cry, and made me chant “Barack Obama” all in the span of three hours. And perhaps most impressively, Mr. Franti makes me feel like I’m a good dancer, even when I’m sober (!!!). Take a look at my favorite song off of his newest album:
If you don’t like that song, you should probably just give up on life. You clearly don’t have a soul.
3. While we’re thinking about him, Barack Obama. And Michelle, Malia, and Sasha. Also Joe and Jill Biden.
4. That my finger didn’t entirely fall off today at the nail salon. The entire story would call for a blog post in itself, but I’ll just say that it involved a bloody electric buffer, a sadistic manicurist, and sanitation standards that would have made a cockroach shudder.
5. My ability to entertain myself. My friend Rachel thinks that I could have my own reality show because of the embarrassing shit I do in the privacy of my own space. I’m not sure I agree with her (although, hey, people do watch The Real Housewives of Atlanta), but I am grateful for this skill of mine. The other day, for instance, I caught myself singing “99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall.” Out loud. In a British accent. Riiiight.
6. That I’m not pregnant.
7. That I’m not morbidly obese. (I honestly think about this on a daily basis.)
8. Goat cheese, breakfast sandwiches, salsa, bourbon, etc. etc.
14. The fact that I can make this ridiculous list, because it means that all of the important stuff (health of friends, family, etc.) are already there.
Thanksgiving is tomorrow! I hope that all of our lovely readers will get to spend it surrounded by friends and family and with yummy, delicious food. Ready for the guilt trip? Just like every year, this year there will be many individuals and families whose tables are empty and this year, there will be even more.
Nationally, demand at local food banks is up 25-40% as more middle class families, who used to be donors, are seeking assistance in this troubled economy. Donations have either stayed at the same rate or increased slightly but not enough to cover the increased demand. This will be a continued problem, through 2009, but the Holidays are a great time to start helping. Please visit Feeding America (formerly Second Harvest of America) to find a food bank near you and see how you can help. A lot of families rely on their local food bank to put food on their table so please, keep them in mind. Any donation will be greatly appreciated and will help to feed a family in need.
So that’s our PSA. We’ll get back to the snark shortly.
six words to change the world. 