Category Archives: thoughts

lady gaga’s alejandro video. sex. yawn.

Gaga’s new video for “Alejandro” was released today on the Youtubes, and I just had to watch it. (Me and my roomsies are huuuuuuge fans.) From the very start, let me just say that I get a leeeetle irked with musicians who are so popular they think I want to watch a 9+ minute music video of them lip syncing (“Thriller” excluded, obvi.). Before I go on any more, feast your eyes on this!

This is one of those things where you have to sit back and wonder– is she trying to make a social statement or is she desperately trying to remain culturally relevant by being weird?

First scene: a commentary on gays in the military? Also, she looks like Johnny Depp.  Then there is the usual shocking scene that is sure to get every “pro-family” group (hey, did you see THIS?!) denouncing practically everything, where she simulates sex in nude undies! Yawn, Gaga. It’s been done. Cue the religious symbolism montage! A commentary on the oppression of women in the Catholic church, or a “Like a Virgin” rip-off? COME ON. Annnnnnnd then she is a fembot. Normal. That’s happened before, too. To sum up the rest of the video: sex, sex, gay men, sex, allusions to religion, sex, Gaga trying to have sex with gay men, fembot, obligatory rockstar scene with cool side angles and sun glasses, Gaga ooh la la, machine gun boobs, ambiguous social conflict scenes, sex. Oh, and sex!

I think I have some Gaga-trying-to-shock-me fatigue. But that song sure is catchy. ALE-ALE-JANDRO. ALE-ALE-JANDRO.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under blogging, celebrities, movies, music, pictures, pop culture, random, sex, the arts, thoughts, weird, YouTube

newest olympic mascots will haunt dreams.

I don’t know why, but people get super excited about the Olympic mascots.  I’ve written about them before— and here I am again. So move over, 1996 Atlanta mascot Izzy.  Move over, Fuwa, the  2008 Beijing mascots. Ladies and Gentlemen, the new Olympic gold medal winners of fug: Wenlock and Mandeville, the official mascots of the 2012 London Olympic games. Feast your eyes on these!

Somebody PLEASE make the first openly gay Olympic mascots joke, so I don't have to.

Yikes! You might be asking yourself, “What the friggity frig are those?” The article from the Guardian does its best to explain:

The pair are based on a short story by children’s author Michael Morpurgo that tells how they were fashioned from droplets of the steel used to build the Olympic stadium.

Droplets of steel, you say? Well, alright. How… abstract.

Maybe it’s because I’m 24 now (wahhhh) and an old lady, but I don’t really understand the necessity for these new-fangled Olympic mascots.  Is the torch not enough for us?  If you think I’m wrong, please let me know.  Maybe I’m the only one that fails to see the value in a duo of one-eyed, flippered, Nickelodeon-show-reject, don’t-look-if-you-have-epilepsy monstrosities.

Consider your dreams haunted, readership! You’re welcome!

In other news, guess what? Today is Wednesday, which means tomorrow is Thursday, and that’s the day before Friday! Huzzah!

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under animals, celebrities, humor, news, pictures, pop culture, sports, thoughts, Uncategorized, weird

some friendly advice for tiger woods.

During my morning news perusal, I came across a story on the HuffPo about Tiger Woods. First of all, I am SO OVER the Tiger Woods story, but this headline caught my eye: Tiger Woods Parties at Nickelback Concert in Orlando.

Which made me actually exclaim out loud, “does that man have a publicist?!”

Tiger, here’s a little free advice.  If you want to rehab your image and not look like a huge d-bag, going to a Nickelback concert is not the way to go about it. It’s like Jon Gosselin wearing Ed Hardy and trying to rock a faux-hawk. You. Look. Bad.

Take your kids to a Wiggles concert. Move back to your hometown to “rediscover your roots”. Open up a golf course specifically for underprivileged children.

But please, Tiger, stay away from Nickelback. It’s for your own good. Trust me.

xoxo,

k

[Posted by Kathleen]

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my new favorite blog (this week).

So for this past week, I’ve become addicted to a new (to me) blog: http://www.frkncngz.com. What does frkncngz mean? I have no idea. But what I do know is that this blog has all of these quotes and sometimes pictures that are either funny or emo or inspiring…all of my favorite things! I think I’ve spent at least an hour a day for the past week reading the archives, which I probably shouldn’t admit publicly. But whatever. Here are some of the ones that I love:


Wonderful, right?

[Posted by Mallory]

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do you think sjp is ugly?

Nothing sparks debate like watching the red carpet coverage at the Oscars.  Ok, that might not be entirely true, but it does start some interesting conversations.  This year?  How ugly Sarah Jessica Parker is.

Girls love her for the obvious reasons, and apparently guys think she’s hideous.  In fact, I was told that she gets a 3 on a 10 point scale and a 0 on a 1 point scale (1 I would sleep with her, 0 I wouldn’t).

I was also shown this website, sarahjessicaparkerlookslikeahorse.com

Equal parts terrible and hilarious, so I wanted to share.

[Posted by Shannon]

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“liddy’s orange”: poem by sharon olds.

Google tells me this is Sharon Olds.

This morning on the Metro, I read the word “adolescence” in my book, and for some reason it reminded of a poem that my class read on one of the first days of AP English my senior year of high school. I love this poem, so I thought I’d share it with you: 

Liddy’s Orange 

The rind lies on the table where Liddy has left it
torn into pieces the size of petals and
curved like petals, rayed out like a
full-blown rose, one touch will make it come apart.
The lining of the rind is wet and chalky as
Devonshire cream, rich as the glaucous
lining of a boiled egg, all that protein
cupped in the rich shell. And the navel,
torn out carefully,
lies there like a fat gold
bouquet, the scar of the stem, picked out
with her nails, and still attached to the white
thorn of the central integument,
lies on the careful heap, a tool laid
down at the end of a ceremony.
All here speaks of ceremony,
the sheen of acrid juice, which is all that is
left of the flesh, the pieces lying in
profound order like natural order,
as if this simply happened, the way her
life at 13 looks like something that’s just
happening, unless you see her
standing over it, delicately clawing it open.

(“Liddy’s Orange” was published in Olds’ 1987 book The Gold Cell, but it seems to have first appeared in an August 1982 issue of The New Yorker.) 

A quick search on the Internets for some background on Sharon Olds led me (obviously) to her Wikipedia page, which included this interesting story: 

In 2005, First Lady Laura Bush invited Olds to the National Book Festival in Washington, D.C. Olds responded, declining the invitation in an open letter published in the October 10th, 2005 issue of The Nation. The letter closes, 

“So many Americans who had felt pride in our country now feel anguish and shame, for the current regime of blood, wounds and fire. I thought of the clean linens at your table, the shining knives and the flames of the candles, and I could not stomach it.”  

Get it, girl. 

Happy, er, academic Wednesday? 

[Posted by Mallory]

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a fun fact from my brain.

Today is 3…2…1…0!

(GET IT?!!! Like…BLAST OFF!)

(Cool, right?)

(You’re welcome.)

[Posted by Mallory]

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take a look at me nooooooow.

Hey guys! Remember me? I’m Mallory, and I sometimes blog here. It’s been a while, I know. But don’t worry, between the Catholic guilt (it is Lent, after all), and harassment from “fans” like Scott and Mike, I feel PLENTY bad about not writing. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW, SCOTT AND MIKE?

Since it’s been two weeks since I’ve written, I don’t even know where to begin. There’s the Olympics, and the killer whale attack, and the Vajazzler, and the fact that I attended an adult birthday party at Medieval Times last night, dressed as a medieval pirate (and the fact that it was kind of amazing).

There’s also this:

And yes, that’s old — St. Patty’s Day of last year, as you might have guessed — but I was recently tagged on Facebook, and it reminded me how much I love my friends, and Cry Face, and this here blog.

Speaking of things I love, I’m kind of obsessed with this Postal Service cover of “Against All Odds”:

All that said, I have a proposal: in honor of the Olympics, and Phil Collins, why don’t we pretend that I don’t suck at updating my blog, and instead just hold hands and forgive each other (read: you forgive me)? Work for you? Good. I’m back, and I promise, I’m going to be better.

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under adventures, blogging, cry face, music, news, sports, thoughts, YouTube

i’m in love with your cheeks.

Happy Valentine’s Day, kiddies! Here is how you should celebrate: be thankful for someone you love, and eat chocolate. Here is how you should NOT celebrate: by seeing Valentine’s Day, the movie. Seriously. It was that bad. And don’t be grumpy if you don’t have a sweetheart. That’s too clichéd, and it’s silly. Someone loves you today. I love you today!

There are a lot of gorgeous love songs out there, but because I’m on a Bon Iver kick right now, I’m going to share one of his songs with you:

So gorgeous. Enjoy your day!

[Posted by Mallory]

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snowpocalypse, snowmageddon, snowverraction, SNOW MY GOD!

Call it what you wanna call it: DC loves to fah-reeeak out over its snowstorms. Don’t get me wrong; this is a photo I just took from my balcony, and that IS a lot of snow:

But people are acting as though it’s Y2K all over again. The grocery stores are out of eggs, the cabs aren’t running, and I swear to god I saw MANY people purchasing gallons of water as though the pipes are about to freeze when the temperatures are in the high 20s. (Cue my roof collapsing, my eggs running out, and my pipes not only freezing but exploding.)

I personally think the snow is quite lovely! Snow makes me about as happy as sunshine; it’s so gorgeous and peaceful and an instant mood lifter. Plus, a huge snowstorm like this gives everyone an excuse to day drink heavily, eat crappy food, and be as lazy as they would have been anyway, guilt-free! Enjoy it, people. And let’s all cross our fingers that the storm pushes its way through the weekend and gets us all a Monday off.

[Posted by Mallory]

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