Tag Archives: boobs

everybody has seen his teenie weenie.

One time, my roommate painted me naked for one of her art projects. Before you think this is really scandalous, let me clarify- I was wearing a bra and she made up my boobs. (One night, after having a little too much wine, I went on and on about how she painted them saggy. They are, in real life and the painting, anything but. HA!) As part of her project’s theme, she censored my face. The painting was picked up by one of our university’s academic journals, and suddenly, fliers of my body were all around school. Everywhere I looked I saw myself. And even though you couldn’t see my face, I felt like I was in that dream where you are naked in front of the entire school. Because I was. Anyway, that’s a long introduction to what I really want to talk about. Imagine if you were on the cover of an album that represented an entire generation, naked. So basically, naked in front of the entire universe.

Meet Spencer Elden. Well, you’ve already met him. In the quasi-intimate sense. He’s the baby on Nirvana’s famous “Nevermind” album, floating merrily along reaching for that dolla dolla bill, ya’ll.

And NPR (I love love love NPR) did a story on him.

“Quite a few people in the world have seen my penis,” he says from his home in Los Angeles. “So that’s kinda cool. I’m just a normal kid living it up and doing the best I can while I’m here.”

You know what, that is kinda cool. Power to you, man. Wonder what it’s like to be him on a daily basis?

“My friend is all like, ‘Hey I saw you today.’ And I’m like, ‘Dude, I was working all day.’ And he’s like, ‘No, I went to Geffen Records, and you’re on the floor and you’re floating and I stepped on your face. ‘Cause I guess they have like a floating thing where people can like walk on me and stuff … so it’s kinda cool,” he says.

That’s kinda cool too, Spencer. He might just be one of the most non-famous famous kids out there. And he’s kind of kickass. Badass too, because his parents sent him to military school for a bit. Here he is now, all growed up:

Read the piece on this kid. He doesn’t just smell like teen spirit, he reeks of it. Kurt Cobain would be proud, dude.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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something borrowed, something blue, something…botoxed?

We’ve discussed plastic surgery a little here at SWTCTW. As I mentioned in this post,I think plastic surgery trends are getting a leetle nuts these days, and my thoughts and fears were confirmed by one of today’s New York Times articles. In “It’s Botox For You, Dear Bridesmaids,” Abby Ellin talks about the latest fad in plastic surgery: brides encouraging and/or paying for their bridesmaids to get everything from Botox to boob jobs.

To begin with, I’m the kind of girl who thinks that over-the-top weddings are unnecessary. I know that many women want their wedding to be the best day ever and are happy to spend bajillions of Daddy’s dollars on the perfect ceremony, but I just don’t see the point. Give me an “I do”, a cake, and a party with an open bar, and I’ll be happy. But all those things aside, plastic surgery for bridesmaids strikes me as out-of-this-world absurd. In the article, the brides who want to Botox their BFFs seem to want to do it as a gift. As 35-year-old bride-to-be Kasey Knauer explains:

“Giving them a bracelet isn’t as special as spending an evening together. Plus, as you get older, everyone is more conscientious about their skin and appearance,” she said. “Giving them something for themselves — as opposed to something that they’ll never wear again — is more meaningful.”

And I guess if her bridesmaids are the kind of people who would want Botox anyway, that is a pretty nice gift. Still, the whole thing strikes me as a little Stepford wife-y. As in, “My bridesmaids will wear perfect matching dresses, they will be skinny, and they will NOT be wrinkled. Smile, girls!.”

Other brides are encouraging their bridesmaids to get their teeth whitened or go tanning before the wedding so that they all look more or less the same. One bride took things a little far:

…two women were claustrophobic and couldn’t bear standing in a tanning capsule. “They asked the bride if they could use regular tanning cream from a salon,” Ms. Goldberg said. The bride refused; she wanted everyone to be the same shade. The women ultimately declined to be bridesmaids. “Friendships of 20-plus years gone over a spray tan?” Ms. Goldberg said. “Sad!”

By that logic, I’d have to make my token Asian friend work the guest book. Sorry, Walsher.

Even more disturbing than the Botox and the tanning, some brides are requesting that their bridesmaids get breast implants:

Becky Lee, 39, a Manhattan photographer, declined when a friend asked her — and five other attendants — to have their breasts enhanced. “We’re all Asian and didn’t have a whole lot of cleavage, and she found a doctor in L.A. who was willing to do four for the price of two,” said Ms. Lee, who wore a push-up bra instead.

Call me old-fashioned, but if a friend asked me to get a boob job for her wedding, I think I’d be insulted. Getting me into an unflattering dress would be hard enough, but getting me to go under the knife? Ha! What happened to mani/pedis and lunch with the girls?

[Posted by Mallory]

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just six words and a picture.

Here is Mariah Carey (or should I say Mrs. Nick Cannon. How did that happen? Drumline was so good!) on the August cover of Elle Magazine. Wowie.

All hail the power of Photoshop.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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another glass of cleavage creek, please.

During my semester abroad in Greece, I learned a little bit about wine…as in it’s cheap and tastes better than beer. Fortunately for me, my friends all learned the same thing. Now, instead of looking like frat rats, we get to sit down and have a glass of wine (or four) together. Because we’re just that classy.

When reading the news this morning, I found a headline mentioning Cleavage Creek wine. Clearly, I had to read about this. It’s about wine and cleavage! (Two things I know about). I don’t know exactly what I was expecting, but what I read was not it.

Budge Brown owns a ranch and small vineyard in Pope Valley, California and created the wine as a tribute to his wife, Arlene, who died of breast cancer. Some of the proceeds to go to research to fight cancer. One of the more amazing things, however, is that on each label is a woman currently fighting breast cancer. Pretty powerful.

I learned an importantly lesson today-don’t judge the wine by its label. Sadly, I was looking for a story about some gross dude that named his wine after boobs. Instead, I found something that I would like to be a part of and I’ll feel proud for supporting it.

So there is your morning glass of feel-good! Good morning!

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under definitely not politics, drinks, random

over the shoulder boulder holder saves.

I always knew bras were good for something other than keeping the girls down. I personally have yet to discover what else, but Jessica Bruinsma’s bra saved her life. Bruinsma, who is from Colorado (hey, Mal!), had been stranded in the Bavarian Alps in southern Germany for three days before being rescued. According to the AP, “she attracted the attention of lumberjacks by attaching her sports bra to a cable used to move timber down the mountain”. Wowie.

She’s a smart lady. If you hang a bra from somewhere, men are going to find it. Sorry, I had to make some sort of joke. Just think of all the puns I could have made but didn’t.

But honestly, it’s good to hear she’s alright. Her story could have ended tragically, but she was resourceful. This just goes to show that bras really can change the world. Maybe somebody should pass this along to Jen Moss?

[Posted by Kathleen]

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bikes, boobs and a hemp g-string.

Oregonian (Oregonite? Oregonese?) woman Jen Moss is pissed because people just don’t understand her need to bicycle around topless and are prohibiting her from riding in the Fourth of July parade. According to the AP, Moss is known for riding her bike “free and independent of all clothing but a hemp G-string”. In fact, she’s known as “The Naked Lady”.

I get the naked part (let the girls get some air), but the hemp G-string sounds questionable at best. You know, back in the day aka 8th grade, I was quite good at making hemp necklaces with cool beads and whatnot. I gave them as gifts to my friends. Maybe now since our tastes have matured, I can make them all hemp G-strings with cute little beads! AHHH! But back to business.

The Ashland Chamber of Commerce is in a battle right now over this. In Moss’ application she said she wants to lead a group of rollerbladers in her hemp booty floss, “blowing a conch shell.” Blowing what wearing what? Errr… Whatev, she sounds like an inspirational leader (those rollerbladers are bound to follow her, along with every creepy man within 50 miles) and America is all about leadership!

Clearly she is a great patriot and loves America. Come on people, it’s the Fourth of July. It’s not like your children haven’t seen boobs before. Let Jen parade!

[Posted by Kathleen]

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