Perhaps some of you care, perhaps you’re just looking for another reason to party– an alcoholiday, if you will. (I came up with that on Fat Tuesday, appropriately enough. I’m sure someone else has thought of it before. I’d never heard it. I want credit.) As if a snow day wasn’t enough of an excuse, I’m pleased to tell you that it’s Dr. Seuss’ birthday! The king of the AABB rhyme scheme, whose real name was Theodor Seuss Geisel, would be 105 today. I’m sure if he were here with us, the Great Birthday Bird would pay him a visit. Heavens to Betsy! You don’t know about the Great Birthday Bird? Well, I’ll let the good Doctor do some explaining:
The Great Birthday Bird! And, so far as I know, Katroo is the only place Birthday Birds grow. This bird has a brain, he’s most beautifully brained with the brainiest bird-brain that’s ever been trained. He was trained by the most splendid Club in this nation, the Katroo Happy Birthday Asso-see-eye-ation. And, whether your name is Pete, Polly or Paul, when your birthday comes round, he’s in charge of it all.
So now you know! Seuss-style rhetoric is the best. You can read more Seuss quotes here. Even though I get older, his books never get old. Oh, and check Google. Their page is really cute today. Oh, and if you want to be RESPECTABLE and not use Dr Seuss’ birthday as an excuse to drink but still want to celebrate, you should, at the very least, make yourself some green eggs and ham.
Well, not exactly. But even if they did, a poodle would have more experience than Sarah Palin. SNAP.
Here’s the real story. Barack and Michelle promised precious Malia and Sasha that after the election they would get a puppy. Aww! So the American Kennel Club held an election–42,000 people voted–to see what breed should be the presidential pup. And the poodle won. Apparently the Obamas have allergies (just like my family! Talk about identity politics…), so that helped narrow down the breeds to choose from. I’ve been following this story for awhile, because the Chinese Crested Hairless was one of the options. For those who know me or have read the blog before, I am the proud owner of a hairless dog. My baby boy, Dr. Seuss, is perfect. Look how cute Chinese Crested puppies are:
Yeah, you want one too. PUT BARACK OBAMA AND A CHINESE CRESTED IN THE WHITE HOUSE.
Oh, and they didn’t hold an election for a pet for old Johnny. This is because he and Cindy already have–I am not making this up–24 pets. So that’s 3.4285714 pets per house?
This is a great pranking your significant other/one-upping their jokes youtube video. I mean, almost a million people have viewed it. That’s pretty good payback. The best, by far, is the Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel battle with Matt and Ben. WHY OH WHY DID YOU ALL HAVE TO BREAK UP?! Think about the children! (Like me).
Anyway, while you are watching, just know that no animals were harmed in the making of this. I only have one complaint: it mentions MySpace. And you all know how much I abhor the MySpaces.
By the way, if I see my precious Dr. Seuss in a video similar to this in the slightest, I’m coming after you. You know who you are.
Gus, a Chinese Crested Hairless, won the illustrious and much coveted title of World’s Ugliest Dog on Sunday in Florida. He has three legs, one eye, and one hell of a personality. He apparently slept through most of the competition.
And I’m freaking out. Why? Because I have a Chinese Crested Hairless dog.
My beautiful boy, Dr. Seuss (because he looks like a Dr. Seuss book character, duh), is amazing. And not ugly! I swear! But ugly is what people think of when they know the breed. Most of the recent past winners of the competition have all been at least part Chinese Crested.
So sure, Gus and Dr. Seuss might not be the picturesque puppies you see in the Purina commercials. I cannot tell you how many times people have asked me if Seuss was on chemo. Chinese Cresteds’ conventional beauty is on the inside-just like many humans. Maybe it’s just me, but instead of mocking their lack of soft and fluffy, we should be taking a minute to acknowledge how unique they are and appreciate the fact that they make us laugh. Haha, okay, that might just be me.
Anyway, I just wanted to post the link to the slide show of the competitors this year so that you could have a good laugh. (I laughed out loud a lot.) It was a tough year! My favorite is Squiggy. He looks badass.
Also, here is Sam, a three-time champion of the competition. If he hadn’t died, I’m sure he’d still be the champion. I’m obviously sensitive about the way people treat the breed, but I can say that this is legitimately the ugliest dog ever.