Am I right or just hopped up on Doritos?
Today I went on a tour of the White House. I was very excited for said tour because, you know, BARRY, and I was certain that the entire first family would be there to greet me because I was touring in a pack of very important government interns. And oooh boy, what a letdown! That tour was BO-ring. I was sort of warned of that, but I didn’t believe that being in Barry’s house could possibly be boring. I was very, very wrong. The tour is self-guided, you see like four rooms, and there are bored tourists everywhere. I only learned two major things today:
1. Woodrow Wilson was a pretty good looking young man.
2. Barack and Michelle are still perfect.
I have a theory about most tourist attractions. I developed this theory while doing a whirlwind super-touristy tour of Italy with my family a few years ago. In a cultural tourist attraction — say, an art museum or a famous church or a site of ancient ruins — very few people really want to be there. I would estimate that 25% of visitors (if that) are genuinely interested in seeing the stuff; 25% of visitors feel obligated to see the stuff but are secretly really bored; and 50% of people were forced to go by someone in one of the other two groups. Now, I know this isn’t a revolutionary theory, but it’s still strange to think about. Why do we force ourselves to spend hours in museums that we genuinely don’t care about when we could be eating gelato and people-watching? Deep thoughts, people. Deep thoughts.
Speaking of the White House and politics and such, helloooooo New Jersey scandal! So juicy. Illegal sales of body parts? Is this real life? I hope someone tries to buy my kidney for ten grand this weekend while I’m in the Jerz. I’ll keep you posted on that.
[Posted by Mallory]
six words to change the world. 