Monthly Archives: July 2009

let’s eat cake like it’s 1969.

cake

We all have our favorite desserts.  Perhaps yours is the pumpkin pie your grandmother used to make at Thanksgiving, the cookies they used to have in your high school’s cafeteria, or just straight up Ben and Jerry’s.

Colonel Henry Moak LOVED the pound cake the Army rationed out during the Vietnam War.  After forty years of service to our country, Col. Moak is retiring and he wants pound cake at his celebration, which is being held today at the Pentagon.  To be specific, he wants Army C-ration pound cake.  Even more exact, he wants the one from one of his old ration kits he saved.  He’s planning to eat the old pound cake today… if he still can.

I am dying to know what happens.  Regardless, I know I’ll be a tad bit grossed out.  The thought of moldy pound cake is nasty, but then again so is the thought of perfectly intact cake 40 years later. Eek!

But let him eat cake.  And for his sake, I hope it’s still good.  He’s definitely earned it.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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happy national tequila day, dear readers!

Just another Public Service Announcement from your friends here at SWTCTW: it’s July 24, which means it’s National Tequila Day! Great holiday, right? Half of you probably don’t drink tequila anymore because of that one time in college, but for those of you lucky enough to still love the stuff, drink up! While you’re pounding margaritas, think of us and also of these wonderful songs honoring your favorite agave-based spirit:

(Follow up thoughts for that one:

1. Who goes out to drink margaritas at the Holiday Inn?

2. Joe Nichols is an exceptionally unenthusiastic lip syncher.

3. Really, with the naked grandma?)

And it just wouldn’t be National Tequila Day without this classic:

Cheers, folks! Don’t eat the worm.

[Posted by Mallory]

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swf’s kidney for sale: just $10,000!

Am I right or just hopped up on Doritos?

Am I right or just hopped up on Doritos?

Today I went on a tour of the White House. I was very excited for said tour because, you know, BARRY, and I was certain that the entire first family would be there to greet me because I was touring in a pack of very important government interns. And oooh boy, what a letdown! That tour was BO-ring. I was sort of warned of that, but I didn’t believe that being in Barry’s house could possibly be boring. I was very, very wrong. The tour is self-guided, you see like four rooms, and there are bored tourists everywhere. I only learned two major things today:

1. Woodrow Wilson was a pretty good looking young man.

2. Barack and Michelle are still perfect.

I have a theory about most tourist attractions. I developed this theory while doing a whirlwind super-touristy tour of Italy with my family a few years ago. In a cultural tourist attraction — say, an art museum or a famous church or a site of ancient ruins — very few people really want to be there. I would estimate that 25% of visitors (if that) are genuinely interested in seeing the stuff; 25% of visitors feel obligated to see the stuff but are secretly really bored; and 50% of people were forced to go by someone in one of the other two groups. Now, I know this isn’t a revolutionary theory, but it’s still strange to think about. Why do we force ourselves to spend hours in museums that we genuinely don’t care about when we could be eating gelato and people-watching? Deep thoughts, people. Deep thoughts.

Speaking of the White House and politics and such, helloooooo New Jersey scandal! So juicy. Illegal sales of body parts? Is this real life? I hope someone tries to buy my kidney for ten grand this weekend while I’m in the Jerz. I’ll keep you posted on that.

[Posted by Mallory]

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youtube clip of today: unusual entrance.

So today (technically yesterday, as it is now past midnight) was my birthday, and it was great. Relative to other recent birthdays of mine, “great” means “no major disasters occurred.” Let’s just say that my last two birthdays set the bar really, really low. But this year, I ate lots of yummy food and was reminded that I have lots of wonderful friends and family, and that’s what birthdays are for.

Then, as I was perusing my blogroll, I found this video:

It sort of made my already great day. I went from grinning to tearing up to outright weeping with joy by the end of the video. Guess 23 won’t be all that different from 22.

[Posted by Mallory]

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world, i pledge to be snarky.

I want to introduce myself to all of you as SWTCTW’s newest guest blogger.  As an avid reader of SWTCTW, I appreciate all of Mal and Kathleen’s wit and I humbly admit it is a daunting task to attempt to join in.  But enough sucking up to the originators — they have already given me permission to blog so here I go.

I am currently living the unemployed life, so I have too much time alone with my own thoughts.  I feel compelled to share these thoughts and my current outlet to do so isn’t quite cutting it.  I admit I have a habit of sharing too much information about my own life with complete strangers.  I don’t flatter myself by believing these strangers care at all that I’m breathing, let alone care about anything I have to say, but once I get started, I find it practically impossible to stop. facebook 1

My most recent and memorable victim was the poor pharmacy technician at Walgreens.  I was there to pick up a prescription, which tradition tells us requires me only to give the employee my last name, verify my address, hand over some form of payment and get the hell out of there.  Needless to say, I took it a step further.

I believe Mr. Walgreens asked me how my day was going.  His crucial mistake.  My reply went something like this:

“Oh, I’m ok thanks.  I just got back from the doctor’s, well obviously [insert a laugh at my own ‘joke’ here.  His response?  Blank stare.]  My problem actually is that I’m heading to Las Vegas tomorrow and unfortunately the medicine that I’m picking up now makes me really sun-sensitive so I’m trying to find a sun block that will work.  You can see I’m very pale, so I need a strong sun block especially in Las Vegas! [Excuse the use of the ever-annoying exclamation mark, but it is necessary to attempt to convey my high-pitched squeal.]  I’ve never been to Vegas, but I hear the sun can really get you out there.  Do you know if sun blocks with SPF 70 are actually much stronger than sun blocks with SPF 30? [I don’t wait for a response, nor do I stop talking.]  I read in Cosmo that the SPFs above 30 really don’t make much of a difference, but I really don’t want to get my medical advice from a fashion magazine, so I guess I’ll just go with the SPF 70, I mean, it can’t hurt, right?  [No pause here either.  Mr. Walgreens’ face has morphed from a blank stare to a look mixed with disbelief and a little bit of panic.  He has no possible escape route and I am the only customer in sight.]”

At this point, I go into autopilot and, fortunately, so does my memory.  I think I kept Mr. Walgreens hostage with my sun block scenario for at least another 4 minutes.  I haven’t seen him again in my Walgreens travels, which only leaves the possibility that I sent him into early retirement.

The moral of this story is I hope to save my local Chicago community from my random ramblings by collecting my thoughts and organizing them for display on a public forum.   Luckily for you, this particular space allows you to pick, choose, and skip through my ramblings.  Poor Mr. Walgreens, he wasn’t so lucky.

[Posted by Shannon]

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hiatus over, plus guest blogger intro!

Hello, long lost readers! I think that if I’m planning to be a serious blogger, I need to get better at letting you know when I’ll be on vacation and won’t be posting for a while, which was the case last week. I was in Denver for a few days, and then up in Vail with my extended family. There was lots of biking, cocktailing, eating, relaxing, and a little pong playing (we figured the best way to honor the three-year anniversary of my grandfather’s death was with a pong tournament, and thus the 1st Annual Toadie Memorial Pong Tournament was born. I think he’d have been proud). Basically, I got to look at views like this all week:

vail

You can understand why I didn’t want to be staring at a computer, eh?

I’m back now, though, and I’m ready to blog! It’s going to be a busy few weeks with at least three trips and one apartment move and one scary (23, ew) birthday, but I will be doing my best to keep up.

For today, I have a very important announcement: we are welcoming a new guest blogger, Miss Shannon Marie! (That’s not exactly her real name.) The best way to introduce Shannon is to say that she is my best friend from home, that we have caused a good amount of trouble together in various countries, and that we occasionally take pictures doing mature things like this:

shan intro

You may also remember Shannon from a Cry Face post a while back. Let’s give Shannon a hearty SWTCTW welcome, and look out for her very first post in the next day or so!

[Posted by Mallory]

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henry allingham, world’s oldest man, dies.

Henry AllinghamA month ago, I wrote about Henry Allingham, who celebrated his 113th birthday, and becoming the world’s oldest man, with a glass of champagne.  Henry died this morning at the age of 113.

He was Britain’s last surviving veteran of World War I, a preacher of peace and the author of a memoir.

Read last month’s blog post here and today’s story here.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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