I’m going to be honest, SWTCTW readers. This week was disappointing.
I don’t know why host Cat Deeley thought it was a good idea to come to work dressed in a red table cloth. But she did. I’m no fashion expert, but I can spot a table cloth when I see one. But I’m not guest blogging about Project Runway, so I’ll move on. But seriously – it was a table cloth.
Now, for Mary Murphy. At the start of Wednesday’s show some comments were made about her behavior during last week’s episodes. It’s generally not a good idea to directly call out someone suffering from PAS, because when you do, they say something stupid in response like, “What happens on the performance show stays on the performance show.” Hey Mary: no it doesn’t. #1, you’re on TV. #2, we all now have DVR. Last week’s demonstration of your special brand of crazy has been saved forever. Also, Mary – the “not” jokes… so 2007.
Little C. I don’t understand. Here’s my favorite quote from Wednesday’s show: “I believe the primary focus of all obstacles is to induce labor so progression can be born. So follow me check it out. And I believe that right now I just saw the birth of progression in two amazing dancers.” I have no idea what this means, but I’m going to assume it was intended as a compliment. See for yourselves (4 minutes in):
Yes I’ve posted videos like this before. Yes, I’m obsessed with random dance routines in awkward public places, what of it? It’s hilarious! And that old man is really breaking it down. Does anybody want to start the DC Hammer Pants Dance brigade?
This time, Chris is late! HA! But anyway, I love his diagnosis…it’s hilarious!
I’m not a doctor, but I’m going to stand by my diagnosis. Anyone that saw Wednesday night’s episode knows what I’m talking about here – and I, for one, am concerned. Reality TV judges are at risk. Specifically, the female judge sitting in the middle seat of any given seems to be vulnerable to Paula Abdul Syndrome or, as we in the medical blogging community call it, PAS.
The symptoms of PAS are clear: slurred speech; wild hand gestures; crying; etc… symptoms often prompt weird looks or agitated comments from judges sitting nearby on the panel.
[Please entertain a small digression. This is a plea to all judges sitting near a PAS victim. They can’t help it. And it should help you to know that even though we aren’t there with you, it is just as painful for all of us to watch at home. Try to show some compassion, and know that you’re not alone. /digression]
The cause of PAS is still unknown, but medical experts (I) have begun to narrow down the suspected causes. To do this, they (I) had to rely on photographic and video evidence, as an in-person study of someone infected with PAS may be unsafe – and the experts (I) don’t want to be responsible for causing a pandemic.
So far, PAS seems to have attacked only women, although its too early to say for sure. The location of the infected judge’s seat seems to play a role as well. There just seems to be something about that middle seat. (An odd cause, you say? Maybe, but have you ever sat in the middle seat for a long flight? That’s what I thought – and I hope you will think twice before questioning the medical experts (me) again…) This brings us to the cups. Enough said there, I think. The wild hand gestures are an unresolved question for the experts studying PAS. So far its unclear whether or not they contribute to the cause of PAS, or if they are a symptom. These certainly are scary times.
Mary’s struggle with PAS was borderline distracting; but here are some of the best numbers from the night…
Okay, okay. So this was supposed to be posted last week. EPIC FAIL on my part. Chris met his deadline, I didn’t do my end of the deal (I was in a wedding…excuses, excuses.). So let’s just consider it a refresher for last week in preparation for tonight!
I have decided that I have one year to get my dance moves up to par. I will be starring in Season 6. [Edit: Season 6 auditions have already started.] This week the Top 20 were named. I’m not saying that I anticipate making it that far when I make my SYTYCD debut. But I figure with a year of hard work I could score a ticket to Vegas. That’s good enough for me.
Wednesday night we were treated to two full hours of dancing mayhem – a sort of preview for the rest of the season. I’m crazy about Mia Michaels – and we got to see one of her routines. And in Thursday night’s episode saw the fangs come out. She had clearly been drinking out of Tyce’s “bitchy queen” water bottle. Her choreography, though, was – of course – great. I guess being a bitchy queen is one of the perks of being really super awesome at your job.
I really like this character Tony. His audition was pretty clever. Mia’s routine gave him such a difficult time that they made him try it again later in the day. This clip serves both the purpose of introducing you to Tony and showing off Mia’s stuff – cause I love her (even though I’m scared of her). A super efficient choice of YouTube clip, I know. You’re welcome.
My buddy Natalie was sent home – I think unfairly. And yes, I will be writing a letter (and you should too). We met her last season when it the top 20 came down to a head to head between her and her less cool roommate. Her roommate made it and she was sent home. Here’s here audition video from this season:
So we have our Top 20 for the summer. Now the fun begins with the good dancing and all that jazz. Congratulations SWTCTW, I hereby declare that summer has arrived!
Despite the fact that I write for a blog that often focuses wacky celebrity gossip, and despite the fact that I’m a young person with plenty of access to and knowledge of technology, I often entirely miss major pieces of pop culture news. As in, some things on “I Love 2009” will be totally new to me. A few recent cases in point: I’m just starting to know the words to “Just Dance” — don’t talk to me about “Poker Face,” because I don’t know that I’ve heard it. I also don’t understand some basic Facebook commands. Yesterday, whilst Facebooking stalking (that I know), I clicked some button that was apparently the wrong button to get where I wanted to go. And I was flat out mocked by my companions, including my sister, who told me that she was ashamed to be related to me.
I’m not super concerned about things like this. I know that Lady GaGa wears weird apparatuses (apparati?) on her head, and I know how to use Facebook to find out which of my middle school friends are knocked up. That’s about all I need. But I have been hearing an awful lot about this movie called Up. In the past 24 hours or so, a bunch of people have been talking about it, and it’s gotten to the point where I can’t pretend to understand the references anymore. (Comments like “Oh, ha ha, yeah, the dog with the talking collar” or “Right, houses tied to balloons, genius” only work for so long.)
Being the modern day Nancy Drew that I am, I YouTubed that shiz, and here’s what I found:
Now, while that preview is cute, it doesn’t exactly make me want to leave work early, pick up some Red Vines, and run to the nearest theater to see the movie. I do have faith in Pixar, though (like Google and Mac, they seem to never screw up), and comments on Rotten Tomatoes are astonishingly good. And if the movie can make me cry within the first 15 minutes, as one Rotten Tomatoes commenter said Up did for her, you know I’ll be an easy sell.
Hello, SWTCTW readers! Here is Chris’ weekly SYTYCD update!
Mallory brought up an interesting point – which is that some people may not be familiar with the summertime awesomeness that is SYTYCD. I’m not really sure how this could be the case and I’m too frightened to explore the deep dark world in which this scenario could be possible. So, taking her hypothetical point to heart, I’ve prepared a quick tutorial based on the dancing kid video she posted last week.
During the first weeks of the show, we are entertained with audition footage from various locations around the country. (Please resist any obvious comparisons here to American Idol.) If they were to audition for the show, Mallory’s dancing kids – we will call them Suzy and Steve because Mallory once told me how much she likes those names – would have stood in line at one of the audition spots, awaiting their big break. I think it is clear to all of us that Steve is really the shining star of the pair. Suzy is cut, her SYTYCD career is over. Now for Steve. He has got good musicality, but does he have what it takes to compete? Steve gets put in the choreography group to see if he can learn and perfect a routine with other dancers. He’s good, but I doubt we will be seeing him in Vegas. There’s not much for a 5-year old to do there anyway. That’s basically how the selection process works.
The four hours of SYTYCD we got this week marked the end of this audition process. Tyce Diorio is one of the judges for one of these auditions. Tyce is normally a choreographer for the show, and we saw this week that he is apparently a bitchy queen. You may think this is harsh, so to back myself up, cue bitchy queen montage (at exactly 30 seconds):
But enough about Tyce. One kid in the Los Angeles auditions named Nathan was probably one of the most impressive male auditions of the season. The problem: he is 17 and you have to be 18 to participate. The judges were so taken by his performance they gave him a ticket to Vegas for next season when he is eligible. Nathan was followed by a Stacy who literally danced like she had stuck her finger in an electrical socket. No ticket for Stacy. She should call Suzy to commiserate.
I will leave you all for this week with Sex. No, this isn’t a joke. And he was back this season as well… in a dance-off.
I realize there are no clips of good dancing in tonight’s post. Fret not, readers. We have an entire summer of SYTYCD watching together.
This video, much like the So You Think You Can Dance videos that Chris just posted, is strangely mesmerizing:
Right? Like…does this kid just watch a lot of music videos? Do his parents teach him this stuff? Was he BORN with these skillz? We may never know the answers, but I just might swipe a few of his moves and add them to my dancing arsenal. (Ha ha, that was a joke. My dancing arsenal has only one move in it, and that is the Jump and Twist.)
If everything goes according to plan, we’re going to have a weekly guest blogger give us a delightfully snarky recap of the night’s episode of So You Think You Can Dance. Meet Chris. He’s alright, I guess. Chris’ interests include interpretive dance, paleontology, a nice boxed wine (red, of course), lounging by his soon-to-be-open pool in his surfer dude shorts and Six Words to Change the World. What an introduction. Anyway, Chris we’ll be keeping us posted on So You Think You Can Dance season 5. And now, his inaugural post:
We’ve all been waiting for summer. Not for the warm weather. Not for the scantily-clad folks we see around town. Not because our apartment complex pool has opened. But because it marks the return of So You Think You Can Dance.
Hello SWTCTW! It’s Chris, your SYTYCD GB (guest blogger). That’s right. For the next however many weeks, I will be joining you on Thursday nights as your SYTYCD watch-party-guest-blogger-buddy, or SYTYCD WPBGB, as we say in the blogging biz.
I’m here for one reason – SYTYCD brings people together. Young and old, and even old and young. Minus Mary’s crazy screaming (there’s really no excuse for that nonsense), SYTYCD puts on TV the talent that we all think we possess at 12:30 a.m. on Saturday nights at the clubs (and P.S. I’ve seen the facebook pictures; we don’t really possess the talent).
I personally can’t wait for the episodes with the real dancing to start. Though I was a little offended by last night’s episode. Some of the moves they made fun of last night, I have spent weeks perfecting at the local bar…
The geniuses at T-Mobile must be staring into my soul. They must know me, because I am obsessed with their viral video campaign and have dreamed each one of these scenarios. First, I posted the “Hey Jude” video, where thousands of people were singing together. Now, this one, with people dancing in a train station. Why doesn’t this happen where I live?!
Of all the ridiculous things I’ve read today, this trumps them all.
Poor Tyler Frost. All the senior in high school wanted to do was escort his lady love to her sinful, pagan public school prom and maybe move in sync to the musical stylings of Taylor Swift, and whatever Godless slow-jam-last-dance song those high school kids are listening to these days. And his school suspended him.
That’s because Tyler’s school, Heritage Christian School in Ohio, forbids dancing, rock music, and fun. IT’S JUST LIKE THE MOVIE FOOTLOOSE! It doesn’t specifically say fun, but whatev. Might as well. But you know, there are other reasons as well. Here is part of the statement from the school’s principal, Tim England:
In the Old Testament, Joseph was in a place of temptation and he fled. Unlike this situation, he didn’t put himself in that place. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Keep your heart with all diligence for out of it are the issues of life.” II Timothy 2:22 says, “Flee also youthful lusts but follow after righteousness faith charity and peace with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” When the school committee, many years before I became the principal, set up the policy regarding dancing, I am confident that they had the principle of fleeing lustful situations in mind. The question as I see it is, should a Christian place themselves at an event where young ladies will have low cut dresses and be dancing in them? Isn’t it contrary to the example of Joseph and the verses that I stated?
I did some research and came across Friendlyatheist.com, which fights Bible fire with Bible fire. Thanks for providing us with the verse, FriendlyAtheist!
Ecclesiastes 3:1-4 (King James Version)
1To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
2A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
3A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
All sassiness aside, I think there’s something deeper here. Dance, whether Mr. England chooses to acknowledge it or not, is embedded in the history of humanity. As cliche as it is, people use dance to express themselves. People dance at weddings– Christian weddings– to celebrate and show joy. Little children dance (read= jump up and down and wave their arms) when they’re happy, and they just don’t know why. In fact, there’s a budding genre of dance called Liturgical dance. It’s a prayer in the form of dance. Some people find dance so beautiful and spiritual that they use it as a way to praise the Lord.
Taking away dance is denying an important act of humanity. Not that I, nor anyone else, should speak for the big guy upstairs, but I don’t think punishing someone for being human is what was intended.
Tyler and his stepfather, Stephan Johnson, went on CBS’ “The Early Show” this morning. Watch that. He said he doesn’t regret going to the prom. I sure hope not. I hope that he is allowed to walk at his graduation this year. And when he does, I hope he dances on stage.
And now, a song that I dedicate to dear Tyler. I hope you dance, dude.
Of all the ridiculous things I’ve read today, this trumps them all.
six words to change the world. 