Category Archives: politics

larry david reads my mind, etc.

Helloooo everyone! It’s been a while. I don’t have time to post a lot right now, but I wanted to get a few quick thoughts out since I’ve been MIA the past few days.

I’ve been MIA partly because my computer is still broken ($755 later it should be fixed in a few days…awesome) and I feel sort of awkward blogging in public. Except I just found a secret computer dungeon filled exclusively with nerds, so I don’t feel as embarrassed anymore. The other reason I haven’t been blogging is that I went back to my beloved undergrad university for Homecoming this weekend. (Sadly Kathleeny could not attend.) I may post more about it later, but for now let’s just say it was wonderful, and that a lot of Bloody Mary’s were consumed.

In other news, I’m totally digging the fall weather. It means I get to wear long coats and riding boots, and, even more importantly, that I’m no longer drenched in sweat 99% of the day. See, DC was pretty hot, weather-wise, for a while there, which meant that every time I walked more than three blocks I looked as if I had just run a marathon. I spent a lot of time complaining about how pants are like prisons for your legs and that if it was socially acceptable I would no longer wear them. Ever. (Unfortunately it isn’t socially acceptable, yet, which also means that you ladies out there should not be wearing leggings as pants. BECAUSE LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS. It’s okay if you’ve been working out, or if you are wearing a shirt that more than covers your ass-thigh junction, but other than that leave those leggings at home. Otherwise I will not-so-silently mock you to everyone I see.)

So the point is, I’m loving the crisp fall weather.

My final random thought of the day is that I love Larry David. I feel like I’ve been straight plagiarizing my friend Caroline’s blog, but I simply must post some of Mr. David’s article about waiting for the election:

The one concession I’ve made to maintain some form of sanity is that I’ve taken to censoring my news, just like the old Soviet Union. The citizenry (me) only gets to read and listen to what I deem appropriate for its health and well-being. Sure, there are times when the system breaks down. Michele Bachmann got through my radar this week, right before bedtime. That’s not supposed to happen. That was a lapse in security, and I’ve had to make some adjustments. The debates were particularly challenging for me to monitor. First I tried running in and out of the room so I would only hear my guy. This worked until I knocked over a tray of hors d’oeuvres. “Sit down or get out!” my host demanded. “Okay,” I said, and took a seat, but I was more fidgety than a ten-year-old at temple. I just couldn’t watch without saying anything, and my running commentary, which mostly consisted of “Shut up, you prick!” or “You’re a fucking liar!!!” or “Go to hell, you cocksucker!” was way too distracting for the attendees, and finally I was asked to leave.

It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one screaming “Go to hell, you cocksucker!” at the television on the occasional weeknight.

[Posted by Mallory]

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snl: ferrell’s dubya endorses fey’s palin.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT.

Really, this is the best SNL has been in years.  And in even better news, my twin, Maya Rudolph, is coming back!

AHHHH.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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palin pals around with democratic donkeys.

And by pals around, I mean wears them around her neck.  I can’t help but wonder if this was part of the $150,000 the RNC (AKA those who donated to the RNC–don’t you feel hoodwinked?) paid for.

The main point of this post was to point out how clueless Palin is.  I mean, the woman is legit wearing a scarf that screams vote Democratic.  (Where can I get me one of those?!)  Buuuut since I have your attention, let’s talk about that $150,000.

So much for being a small town hockey mom, eh?  That’s probably twice as much, if not more, than Joe the fake plumber makes in a year.  That’s more than a college education.  That’s health care for a small business.  That’s a ton of money to spend on clothes.

So I think the argument of Republicans being fiscally conservative is now thrown out the window.  Because, oh girl, some of those clothes…I could have gotten at Forever21 for twenty bucks.  And if I wanted to go “upscale”, I could still find them at Macy’s.  On sale.  Those clothes are pretty basic.  So we all know what the Republicans and Sarah Palin choose to do with their money.  They are not bargain shoppers.  I mean, look at the national debt.

What would you do with $150,000?  Where do your priorities lie?

How dare she talk about relating to Americans struggling to pay their bills and get their kids through school.  How dare she?  Oh doggone it, you betcha that Joe Six Pack doesn’t go on shopping sprees with the RNC’s plastic.

UPDATED:  From Politico, here is Johnny’s defense of the $150,000.

“She needed clothes at the time,” McCain told a group of Florida reporters.

And now, to add on to tragedy that is Sarah Palin, let me just attach a supposed copy of her report card and SAT scores, compliments of one of our DC correspondents.

OUCH.  Baby girl didn’t even break a thousand.

Sorry for ranting a bit.  I’m all fired up.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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but how is the chicken cooked?

Read this.

David Sedaris, I love you.

[Posted by Mallory]

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hump day isn’t just for crying.

On this lovely little October Wednesday, I’d like to share some random thoughts with you. (Don’t worry…cry face is coming.) I haven’t posted in a while either, and it’s partly because my mom was here in DC to visit, and partly because my computer broke. (And I have to go to Arlington to fix it…THE HORROR!)

I had a lovely little weekend with the mother, and we got to do some touristy things and eat a lot and she took me to do this foreign activity — shopping — that we poor grad students (read: irresponsible grad students who’d rather spend their $75 weekly budget on overpriced gin and tonics than clothes) can’t do very often. (Random side note: a kid I don’t know very well who tends to be sort of loud and intense just looked over my shoulder and was like “OOH someone has a WordPress blog!” Which made me self conscious.) (Yes there are too many parentheses in this post.)

Um where was I? Ah yes, random thoughts. I’ve been in a weird mood for the past few days. Alternately introspective in a delightful, happy way and in a depressed, go-home-and-listen-to-Dashboard way.  First of all, I’ve been having lots of political debates with my family. In fact, I’ve argued with every member of my immediate family this week. My mother is still on the fence about the election, due to the fact that she has been brainwashed by my father. My sister is currently being brainwashed by her conservative Kansas friends to be “terrified of Obama.” My father has been palling around with McCain for years, but we recently got in an email debate about abortion, in which I threw out the cliche trump card…”Dad, what if I was raped and got pregnant?”

Things have been getting kind of heated, which has been giving me agida. Unfortunately, I often get so angry that I can’t articulate coherent thoughts. All I want to scream is “HOW ARE YOU PEOPLE RELATED TO ME?! JUMP IN THE TANK WITH ME AND BARACK!” and then make them carve Barack pumpkins while looking at pictures of Sasha and Malia.

Sigh. Let’s just say I had to wear my flannel nightgown last night.

I’ve also had lots of emo thoughts about some of the relationships in my life. I won’t get into the nitty gritty details, but I’ve come to a realization about what I value in a person. Above all, I value the following two qualities: authenticity and wackiness. I can’t stand people who are inauthentic, in all the forms that takes. And it’s not to say that I’m perfectly honest and perfectly myself 100% of the time, but I’d like to think that my core personality is fixed, and that I don’t radically change who I am based on who I’m around. Too many people do that. I hate that.

And then there’s wackiness. If you’re authentic and not wacky, I’ll probably respect you, but I won’t want to hang out with you. It’s like when people say “Well, so-and-so’s just really nice.” To which I respond, “Nice doesn’t cut it. Nice is fine. But nice is boring. I don’t want to hang out with nice.” If you’re not just a leeeetle wacky, it’s not worth it. Having friends with a little wacky in them is what makes it possible for me to still have friends even though I sometimes wear flannel nightgowns and say weird things and dance really awkwardly and am kind of a nerd.

If you’re wacky, authentic, and in the tank for Barack, I totally love you right now. Bring your flannel nightgown over. We’ll drink red wine and watch the Food Network and maybe have a dance party to old Aaliyah songs. It will be great.

If you’re not into any of the above maybe just look at the picture of Pam and Dwight and Jim until you’re so happy you almost cry. Even unauthentic boring people who love McCain deserve to feel happy once in a while.

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under cry face, dance, family, music, politics, post-college depression, thoughts, TV

change your pumpkin, change your world.

So it’s been daysssss since I’ve written.  Sowwy.  Things are reeeeeal busy. TWO WEEKS UNTIL ELECTION DAY!  But I’d like to take some time to spread some Halloween cheer–in a political way, because let’s face it, I am incapable of thinking about anything else until November 5.  And even then…I don’t know.

So here is Yes We Carve, the blog that gives you stencils for your Barack O’ Lantern and other Baracky treats.

Was posting a link to another blog a weak post on my part?  Yes.  But cut me some slack, I’m busy trying to save the Constitution.  I’ll do my best to keep posting.

PS- Woooohooooo Colin Powell!

[Posted by Kathleen]

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the most telling picture ever taken.

A picture is worth a thousand words, right, Johnny?  Doesn’t he look like a dinosaur? HAHA.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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come on colin, help barack out.

Colin Powell, everyone’s favorite good guy who worked for the bad guys, might endorse Santo Barack O.  Like Tony the Tiger would say, that’s grrrrrrrrrreat!  Everyone and their mother is speculating as to when (but if I had to guess, I’d say tomorrow and he says that Barack’s performance in tonight’s debates compelled him to endorse) and looking for clues.  But Fox News’ America’s Election HQ (why would you go anywhere else for news?!) has the clue to end all clues.  Here is their headline and sub-headline, I shiz you not.

Hip-Hop-Dancing Colin Powell Fuels Speculation He’ll Endorse Obama
Colin Powell showed off his hip-hop moves at an ‘Africa Rising’ celebration in London Tuesday, fueling speculation that the former secretary of state is about to endorse Barack Obama for president.

He hip-hop danced! That means he’s black!  Which means he’s definitely endorsing Obama!

Along with the sure to be Pulitzer winning investigative journalism, Fox also provided pictures of Gen. Powell engaging in practices that surely indicate his intentions to endorse Barry.

Look at him. LOOK AT HIM.  He’s been tainted by HOPE.

Posessed by CHANGE:

Colin, welcome into the loving arms of the Democrats.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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talk to your parents about mccain.

Get it?  It’s like an anti-drug commercial?  Teehee.

And my obsession with Blake Lively thrives.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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the 2001 internets hate sarah palin.

In honor of its 10th birthday, Google has put up a new link where you can go back and search their oldest available index, from January 2001. You’ll have no problem guessing what I first Googled. These were my results:

Your search – “sarah palin” – did not match any documents. 

Suggestions:

  • Make sure all words are spelled correctly.
  • Try different keywords.
  • Try more general keywords.
  • Try fewer keywords.
Just saying.

[Posted by Mallory]

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