Category Archives: pop culture

dating advice from a fourth grader.

When I was in elementary school I wrote a “book” about visiting the boardwalk during a storm.  Except that it was actually about visiting the doardwalk because the letter b was hard to wrap my mind around.  Then I wrote a book about a dog named Penny who had puppies.  Both were illustrated by the author.  Neither was any good (of course, my mom would tell you otherwise). 

Alec Greven, a fourth grader at Soaring Hawk Elementary School in Castle Rock, Colorado, has also written a book.  The only difference between his book and my book is that his is a national best seller.  Alec wrote “How to Talk to Girls” when he was eight as part of a school project.  Based on his life experiences and playground observations the book contains such advice as:

Sometimes, you get a girl to like you and then she ditches you.  Life is hard, move on!

Tip: About 73 percent of regular girls ditch boys; 98 percent of pretty girls ditch boys. 

(from Chapter One: The Facts of Life)

It should be noted that those statistics are not national figures, they pertain only to Alec’s observations of girls at Soaring Hawk Elementary.  The book impressed his teacher and principal so much that they decided to sell it for three dollars at the school’s book fair, where it became the fair’s best-seller.  Harper Collins published the book last month and now Alec is dispensing his dating advice to boys of all ages all over the country.  Some of his best advice?

“You also have to be aware that girls win most of the arguments and have most of the power.  If you know that now, things might be easier.”  (Chapter One: The Facts of Life)

That is a fact of life, indeed.  Way to go Alec.  To enjoy all of Alec’s advice you should probably buy his book or ask Santa to bring it to you for Christmas.  In the meantime, enjoy some more of Alec’s innocent wisdom:

Many boys who have crushes don’t know how to act around a girl. Some boys tease girls they like and are mean to them. Some boys say silly things to girls and act goofy. Some boys think they are acting cool by showing off.

This is not a good approach.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

Whatever happens, just don’t act desperate. Girls don’t like desperate boys

. . . . . . . . . . . .

The right thing to do when you have a crush is:

  • Never show off too much
  • Don’t be silly and goofy
  • Control your hyperness (cut down on sugar if you need to)
  • Make sure you have good friends who won’t try to take the girl you like.

 

I know what my brother is getting for Christmas . . .

[Posted by Madeline]

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Filed under crushes, definitely not politics, humor, news, pop culture, random, the arts, Uncategorized

walcott, this bottleneck is a shit-show.

The other day my friend told me he had an extra ticket to see a band called Vampire Weekend, and did I want to go. I realized that I knew some of their stuff, and after not very long I realized that I LOVE THESE GUYS. They’re the kind of band I feel like I should have already known, and it’s weird to me that a few days ago I hadn’t even heard of them. Let’s call this fate, or something. Here they are:

They are all little babies. They just formed the band in 2006, after they graduated from Columbia, and they’ve already received a ton of critical praise. 

Apparently everyone else already knew about them. Wikipedia tells me that Christian Lander (of Stuff White People Like) named them the whitest band, so I guess I’ve been a pretty bad white person. 

That dude is the lead singer, Ezra Koenig. I think he’s adorable. I love that the band calls their music “African Preppy,” or “Upper West Side Soweto.” Also, how could you not like a band that works the following lyrics into one of their songs: “First the window, then it’s to the wall/Lil’ Jon, he always tells the truth”?

The concert was baller fantastic, and I can’t wait to see them again. I love the whole album, but I think my favorite song is M79. I mean, hellooo Paul Simon:

Yum yum. Now early to bed, so that I can get up and be intellectual.

[Posted by Mallory]

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just six words and a picture.

bruce-and-obama

Barack ‘n’ Roll with the Boss! 

(the election may have been almost one month ago but I’m still celebrating)

[Posted by Madeline]

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Filed under celebrities, crushes, family, music, politics, pop culture, six word memoirs, Uncategorized

a fun game for your friday.

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz had a beautiful, healthy baby boy. And they named him Bronx Mowgli. Yeah, that Mowgli. I’m all for creative names, but I think parents should consider the mockery factor. Ashlee and Pete didn’t seem to do that. Maybe Ashlee is displacing her anger about the misspelling of her own name onto her infant son. 

Our Southern belle correspondent tipped us off to this wonderful story, and with the help of Marie Claire UK, we came up with a fun game. You know how you can make up your own porn name or soap opera star name? Well, now you can also make up your own Ashlee Simpson baby name. Here’s the formula:

[One slightly shitty U.S. city + One cartoon animal name]

Here are some examples:

Harlem Tarzan

Compton Simba

Watts Baloo

Scranton Shrek

Our fun new game will sweep the nation. Tell us your favorites in the jump.

UPDATE: FINE, due to some complaints from our favorite readers, let’s change this up a bit:

[One location in the U.S. + One cartoon animal name]

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under babies, celebrities, family, humor, music, news, pop culture

what the hell was she thinking?

Praise be to the goddesses of pop!  Britney’s back!

It seems that she has finally gained some perspective on her, um . . . hiatus, and she’s ready to explain all in an MTV documentary (also known as the “True Life” to end all “True Lifes”).  The documentary airs on November 30 but you can see the trailer here!

For the sake of her children and pop music as we know it, I’m glad Britty’s back.  I was by no means one of the faithful (holler, Walsh) who thought this day would come but I embrace it.  After all, I slow-danced to “Sometimes” in middle school, “Drive Me Crazy” still makes me covet Adrian Grenier, and “Toxic” got me through AP Bio senior year of high school.  So, welcome back Britney.  We salute you by sharing our favorite Britney moments with our SWTCTW friends and watching more trailers.

She looks so happy!

[Posted by Madeline]

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Filed under celebrities, dance, definitely not politics, music, news, pop culture, Uncategorized, YouTube

paul and beyonce: together at last.

I told you that I’ve been been unusually obsessed with Paul Simon these days. Part of this is because of “The Obvious Child.” That song is so FREAKING good. I just want to get up and dance like a fool whenever I hear it. This makes for some awkward bus rides, as I occasionally find myself shimmying my shoulders to the beat and maybe mouthing the words a little bit. At least I know how to entertain myself. And that Paul Simon, he sure knows how to entertain YOU:

I realized after watching that video that I didn’t really know what Paul looks like. Google Image changed all that. I especially like this photo, because I, too, have a furry hood thing attached to one of my vests. It’s like Paul and I are soulmates:

Speaking of shimmying your shoulders to the beat, Beyonce is mesmerizing in the “Single Ladies” video:

I would sell an internal organ or two on the black market to be able to dance like that. Unfortunately, things like the small intestine and the liver seem to be kind of important. I guess I’ll have to stick to my classic unabashedly awkward style of jumping up and down and calling it dancing.

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under dance, music, pop culture, YouTube

’til avatar affair do us part.

cakestrangler1

Internet love is pretty common these days and sadly, divorce is even more so.  So on the surface it’s not too surprising to hear that a British couple is divorcing after meeting in a chat room in 2003.  But, of course, the devil is in the details.  Indeed. 

The chat room where Amy Taylor, 28, and David Pollard, 40, met was on a virtual community called “Second Life.”  They had each created an avatar and eventually, all four of them fell in love.  Six months after their first “lol” they had moved in together and in 2005 they married.  They even held an online ceremony for their avatars. 

However, it seems that happily ever after was not to be.  The couple recently split after Amy caught her husband’s avatar getting cozy with a “Second Life” prostitute.  Ouch.  Calling Pollard’s act “the ultimate betrayal” Taylor hired a “Second Life” private investigator in search of further proof.  The virtual P.I. caught Pollard’s avatar participating in some extramarital activities and he apologized to both his online and real life wives. 

Taylor says Pollard is now engaged to the virtual prostitute despite never having met in real life.  Don’t worry about Taylor though, she says she has also found internet love again.  This time, in the virtual community “World of Warcraft.” 

Here’s a picture of Pollard with his new girlfriend:  second-life-385_433000a1

And Pollard and his “real life” wife (for now, anyway):mr-and-mrs-pollard1

At least they’re happy.  Right? 

[Posted by Madeline]

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Filed under definitely not politics, news, pop culture, random, sex

the pregnant man is pregnant. again!

Thomas Beatie, the transgendered man who made headlines earlier this year by simply being a pregnant man, has got a bun in the oven!  Congrats to Thomas, his wife, Nancy, and their baby girl, Susan!  Susan, the competition starts now, kid.  You have to be the perfect oldest child, just like the rest of us first borns!

There’s nothing snarky to say about this, nor should there be.  Everyone is entitled to happiness.  Read the story and watch Thomas’ interview with Barbara Walters here.

And here are some pictures:

It’s really quite remarkable, isn’t it?

[Posted by Kathleen]

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it might be a quarter-life crisis.

Or maybe just a bold career move.  Either way, TMZ.com (the real “gotcha” journalists) is reporting that John Mayer will be hosting a weekly variety show on CBS, maybe as early as January 2009.

The show will be “a music, variety and sketch show in the ’60s mold,” according to TMZ.  I’m sure there were a few successful variety and sketch shows in the ’60s but my mind goes right to “The Brady Bunch Hour.”  Technically, that was a show of the 70s but that’s what I’m picturing and I just don’t know what to make of the thought of deliciously-jeans-and-teeshirted John Mayer in one of these outfits:

There’s no word yet from John Mayer’s people about a variety show but Johnny did have this to say on his blog (yes, he has a blog; yes, I read it sometimes; yes, it would have been much cooler if he was the mystery guest blogger):

Hi out there…
thought I’d check in to let you all know what’s up in my world…

I’m working on the next CD, which I’m sure you will immediately hate until you eventually love. I’m basing out of LA because I’m working on a side project that is extremely cool. (I’ll tell you about it soon.)

A side project that is extremely cool?  Is that singer/songwriter/celebrity blogger code for “musical variety show of the 60s mold?!”  Probably.  John Mayer’s a pretty funny dude and I certainly wouldn’t object to seeing more of him but I’m just not sure how I feel about this.  Then again, I have an aversion to most change. 

What are your thoughts?  Can he pull it off?  Is it Rock ‘n’ Roll?  Will you watch?

While you debate, let’s take a trip back to where it all started:

[Posted by Madeline]

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batman to sue batman. confusion ensues.

Holy identity theft, Batman!  The mayor of Batman, Turkey, Hüseyin Kalkan, is going to sue Christopher Nolan– director of The Dark Knight (Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeath! Wahhhh!).  The reason?  Over use of the name, Batman.  No, seriously?  Can someone please tell Mayor Kalkan that Batman has been around since the 1930s?  So suing the director of the most recent film…not that logical.  Thanks.  But whatever.  Could this story get any more absurd?

Kalkan also blames a series of unsolved murders and a high female suicide rate on the psychological impact suffered by the town after being placed under the spotlight by Nolan’s film. In addition, Batman expats living abroad have experienced legal issues when trying to use the name to set up businesses, he claims.

Yup. It just did.  You know, maybe the Turks should stop naming their cities after OUR superheroes.  Yes, I’m talking about you Wonderwoman, Turkey and Aquaman, Turkey.  I jest, I jest.

I think the real problem is that the city of Batman NEEDS a Batman to solve its problems.  Suing Batman is not the way to get on his good side, Mayor!  You’ll never get a Bat Signal.  Or, call me crazy here…but instead of suing a major movie studio that will probably win the case, you should put your city’s funds towards crime prevention…

What are your thoughts?

[Posted by Kathleen]

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