hey ladies, it’s national cleavage day!

picture-1Stick ’em out and push ’em up, ladies, because it’s National Cleavage Day 2009!  In South Africa.  Haha.  While we don’t officially celebrate the holiday here in the good old US of A, I’m sure some exceptions can be made if it really resonates with you.

Now I know you are thinking that some pervy dude who still lives in his parent’s basement came up with this holiday so that on the one day he actually stops playing video games and watching porn, he can see some real cleavage.  I mean, that’s what I thought.  In fact, it’s sponsored by Wonderbra and Cosmo and some proceeds from the day are dedicated to a good cause.  You think I’m kidding?  Here is the Web site:

http://www.wonderbra.co.za/nationalcleavageday.aspx

And even more reliable, the Wiki.

Wonderbra’s slogan for the day made me laugh out loud. “Firm supporter of the left and the right”.  Five points to Gryffindor!  Errr…or whichever Hogwarts house the creator of that phrase is in.

So do whatever you need to do to make it happen.  And I think it would be extremely appropriate to pour yourself a nice glass of Cleavage Creek wine

Also, since the girls might be exposed today, you should seriously consider purchasing a Tiddy Bear.  What the hell is that, you ask?  A Tiddy Bear is my newest infomercial obsession.  Observe– A Tiddy Bear:

Can you even live without this?  You need to protect your “shoulder”.

Happy Cleavage Day, y’all!

[Posted by Kathleen]

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come stand a little bit closer…

You should know, first of all, that I’m feeling much better today. It took some Kathleen mixed with some wine with a side of chips and salsa and Ben and Jerry’s and POOF, healed. (Well, mentally. The ankle still causes me to go on angry expletive-laden rants in my head as I walk through Union Station: “God damned ankle. You mother fucker. Could you MAYBE stop HURTING you little piece of shit?!” Ahem.) Last night I may have eaten upwards of 200% of the recommended daily value of saturated fat in the form of Peanut Butter Cup ice cream, and Kathleen and I may have been glued to the television for an entire hour-long David Blaine special, straight out of 1997, with Leonardo DiCaprio and his floppy hair hosting. It happens.

I only overslept by a half hour (okay, 50 minutes) this morning, which was an upgrade from the rest of the week, and this morning this song came on my shuffle:

How could my day go badly if it began with that song? I mean…

Any time I need to see your face
I just close my eyes and I am taken
to a place where the crystal mind and
magenta feeling taken shelter in the base
of my spine sweet like a chicka cherry cola

The magenta feeling has definitely taken shelter in the base of my spine. (What?)

HAPPY FRIDAY, KIDDOS!

[Posted by Mallory]

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was it the cure? hope not!

I’m having one of those days. Not one of those days where everything is going terribly wrong, but one of those days where everything is mediocre: I woke up absurdly late today for no real reason. My ankle is still killing me, even though it is most definitely NOT broken or fractured. (I saw the x-rays, so I know that there’s nothing funky going on inside my foot…it’s just skinny little intact bones surrounded by swollen cankle flesh.) I don’t like what I’m wearing, and my shirt smells weird. My boots squeak when I walk. Everything I’ve eaten today has been boring. I have a test in class tonight, even though my professor has assured us that it’s not a test, just a “writing exercise.”

I sound like Debbie Downer-ish martyr, but I’m not actually that upset. I’m just feeling…blah. Feeling blah is almost worse than actually feeling like crap. When you feel like crap, or like crying, you can justifiably skip class or eat a pint of ice cream or watch dozens of old episodes of Arrested Development instead of writing your paper. But when you’re feeling blah, your conscience won’t let you get away with those things. (“Save the Chubby Hubby for when you really need it,” your conscience says.)

I’m not sure why I’m blogging about this. Kathleen and I certainly didn’t set out to be the kind of bloggers who tell you what they ate for breakfast and post pictures of their cats wearing Christmas sweaters, but I’ve somehow gotten into the habit of posting a lot about my life. In my defense, I don’t like cats, and I’m conveniently allergic to them, but you get the point. As my officemate would say, “Blergh.”

That was a fun litany of first-world problems, huh?! Let’s listen to my new favorite waiting-for-the-bus song and forget that any of this ever happened:

There. I feel better already.

[Posted by Mallory]

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mwhahaha APRIL FOOLS! gotcha good, clowns!

As the smart ones among you may have realized, Six Words is not dying! We would and could never do such a thing! Where would we get our sense of purpose? Where else could we rant about bikini jeans and leggings as pants and the Republican party?

It’s funny how few people catch on to April Fools jokes. I’m one of them, but I thought I was just a gullible person who rarely knows what day it is. Last year, for instance, I totally fell for Gmail’s Time Machine feature, which claimed to allow you to send emails from the past to cover your ass. I found myself debating the ethics of such a tool, and chalked it up to the genius of the amazing nerds at Google who, frankly, are welcome to take over the world.

With our teensy attempt at an April Fools joke, we got a chance to see who REALLY cares about our blog. We got some great reactions to the initial announcement:

Lynn: no more blog?!! sad day – but please don’t grow up and get a little serious!! 

Rachel: WHY???????

Abbey: Why oh why are you stopping your blog??

Some earnest attempts to change our minds:

Karen: why??

me: i know, i knowww

Karen: no entiendo

me: we just haven’t been good at updating it, you know? we think its time to move on

Karen: what if i bought you giant cheetos?

And some relieved, if angry, after-the-fact responses:

Shannon: you got me.

Susannah: GAH! you totally got me. i unsuscribed in google reader and everything. wtf

Daniel: you guys really scared me

Kelsey: you not funny bitch.

In the end, this little gag made us really appreciate our readers. Not to get all Ram Dass on you, but we’re obviously not trying to make a living off of our blog. We’re just trying to write about, well, whatever we want to write about, and if people enjoy a post here and there, that’s great. When even a handful of people really care enough to get upset about “the death of our website,” as one of my friends put it, then Six Words is more than worth it. We’ll keep writing if you keep reading. No more tomfoolery, we promise.

[Posted by Mallory]

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thank you and that’s all, folks.

We, your most esteemed and favorite bloggers, had a really long discussion last night and we’ve come to a decision that was hard to make– but we hope you understand.  We’re going to be shutting down SWTCTW as of today.  This is our last post.  In our history, we’ve posted over 500 times and had over 300,000 blog hits.  Why oh why would we do something like shut the blog down? (I’m sure you’re asking.)  Well, the truth hurts.  At some point in your life you just need to grow up and get a little serious.

Thank you so much for reading, it’s been an honor to write for you.

Love,  Kathleen and Mallory

[Posted by Kathleen and Mallory]

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bikini jeans make my soul weep.

These actually render me wordless (which rarely happens), so I’ll just post the pictures.

bikini-jeans1

2_5makethumbWowie.

Wow.

Wow.

PS-  If you want to buy these beauties and just love the idea of a built in sparkly whale’s tail, they’re made by Sanna’s of Brazil and they’re only a hundred bucks!  So sexxxxxxxy.  You’ll for sure be the flyest girl at the club!  Bye bye Banana Republic, hello Sanna’s!

[Posted by Kathleen]

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cigarette tax = healthier kids. any questions?

To all of those whining about the 62 cent raise on the cigarette tax and a whopping 40 cents for the cigar tax, which becomes effective on Wednesday, I have three words for you:  Get over it.

Why so harsh?  Because the money generated from the tax increase will go towards expanding children’s health care, known as the SCHIP bill and signed into law by President Obama in February.  Instead of just seven million uninsured children receiving health care from the government, SCHIP has now been expanded to cover 11 million children.

But, naturally, some people are pissed.  By some people I mean the tobacco companies who don’t give a you-know-what about you or your health and some really addicted smokers.

This gem of a quote came from NPR:

Customer Pat Collier of Zephyrhills, Fla., calls it a punitive tax aimed at smokers. “This is really just like the tea tax in the Revolution.”

Well…no.  Because when our early American heroes, the colonists, were taxed, the money went back to the evil King George.  This time around, Pat, the money will be used to help children.  CHILDREN.  POOR AND INNOCENT CHILDREN.  Think about it.  Good.  Now let’s move on.

Smokers, you know the deal.  The cancer sticks are bad for you, your lungs turn black and all that jazz.  Maybe you are too addicted to quit, but for Pete’s sake (and Pete, by the way, is a 4-year-old with no health insurance and a life threatening illness), don’t let your addiction get in the way of helping a kid out.  You chose to smoke, these kids did not choose to be uninsured.

It is a sad fact of life that prices go up all the time.  The price of milk, the price of a pack of gum, even the price of the wonderful treasures at the 99 cent store.  At least this time, when you pay those extra pennies, you’re doing something good.

SPL31030_003

More inspiration for you to quit smoking...

Or maybe, just maybe, this might encourage you to quit smoking, which, you know, would be AWFUL.  (But, of course, you quitting has nothing to do with why the tobacco companies are so upset.)  So Joe the Smoker and others quit.   Over time, the number of smoking-related illnesses and deaths decrease, which also decreases the amount of state and federal dollars used to care for these people when they are in the hospital.  The taxpayer wins!  Oh, and if you quit, you run less of a risk of gum disease (eww) and you won’t get that hideous smoker’s mouth with all the lines and wrinkles.

Here’s another scenario to convince you that this might just be a good thing:  Raising the tax on cigarettes will give health insurance to 10 million children.  Having insurance will enhance their quality of life.  Healthy kids go to school. (And like School House Rock tells us, “knowledge is power!”)  Healthy kids grow up to be healthy adults.  Healthy adults work.  The American workforce is the engine of our economy. Voila!  The economy thrives!

…And I’d like to thank the Nobel committee for awarding me this most prestigious award in Economics… just kidding because really, it’s not that big of a stretch.

I’m so fortunate that my parents never had to choose between taking me to the doctor or feeding me.  But there are so many children that are not as lucky as I was/am and until we have universal health care, we need to take care of the ones that need our help the most–  the very old and the very young.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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youtube clip of today: extreme sheepherding.

Extreme sheepherding…is it a sport?  Is this even real!?  I love this sort of tomfoolery!  Happy Monday, work force!

[Posted by Kathleen]

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“you learned english?” “just in cases…”

So the roommate and I are having a lounge day of healing the ankle for real and watching as many chick flicks as we can stomach. We both agreed that Nights in Rodanthe is perhaps one of the worst films ever made (you’re saying…well, what were we expecting? It was a Nicholas Sparks novel. And we say, um, touche?) but JESUS I could watch Love Actually a hundred times over and never get sick of it. Each time, I sob with joy at the end. If you don’t agree with me, I say you don’t have a soul. I will argue with you about this. I mean, look at Karl (aka Rodrigo Santoro):

 

If nothing else, you should love Love Actually for Karl.

And wise observation of the day, courtesy of the roomie: Every Nicholas Sparks movie can end with a person walking on the beach wearing a cable-knit sweater.

[Posted by Mallory]

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we are breakable girls and boys.

Does it annoy you when I post music videos? Do you watch them? I always wonder that. I post them so often because (a) it’s easy, (b) I love lots and lots of songs and want everyone else to love them too, and (c) I genuinely enjoy learning about new music on other blogs. And I know, it’s not like I’m breaking artists that you’ve never heard of (faaar from it), but I like posting music because I can’t make my own music and sharing what’s already out there makes me happy. Fair?

If I start to get hate mail telling me to stop, I probably won’t, but the hate mail will make me sad. (I guess that’s the good thing about all of your readers being your friends, though…the hate mail is less frequent. And if there is hate mail, at least I know where the haters live.)

So um anyway, here’s another song I’m loving right now:

I’ve surprised myself by actually…almost…maybe kinda liking the fan video. It’s sweet, right? If you ignore the classic fan video literal images technique?

[Posted by Mallory]

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