Your confession was a Jaeger bomb.
[Posted by Kathleen]
just six words and a picture.
Filed under six word memoirs, sports
serena is on venus’ planet again.
It’s sports week at Six Words!
For those of you that have siblings, you know that there’s always a little competition. My brother and I compete on many levels, but it’s usually games like body spray wars (everyone loses because you smell disgusting) and who can tell the most outrageous stories (okay, he wins). Nothing we do or ever will do can come close to the competition between Venus and Serena Williams.
Today, Venus beat Serena in the singles finals at Wimbledon. That means they are number 1 and 2 in the world. Awesome. It is Venus’ fifth Wimbledon championship, but Serena has won two. These girls are wild. On top of being remarkable athletes, they both have degrees in fashion design. Williams sisters: 2. Kathleen: 0. Eeek.
Here is something I found to be interesting. Their mother, Oracene, was there to watch them play but their father, Richard, went home because he can’t handle seeing his daughters play each other. Um, okay. But if you’re going to raise the top two tennis players in the world, you should be used to it by now. Right? That just seemed a little strange to me.
On a side note, does anybody remember the movie Wimbledon? The very thought that a movie, starring Kirsten Dunst of all people, was about tennis and had her eventually winning Wimbledon is laughable. The movie was terrible, but upon some research, I learned that James McAvoy was in it! He’s everywhere (to me)! Let’s see how many posts I can reference him in before it gets too old.
McAvoy (rawr!) aside, I was trying to figure out which Williams sister I like best. I think I’m going to go with Venus, because she’s the oldest. And as an older sister myself, I know you must keep the younger sibs in check. Like maybe beating them at Wimbledon, showing them up in a cheesecake eating competition, or seeing who can hold on to the remote control longest.
Athletes:
Fashionistas:
Kirsten Dunst, neither an athlete nor a fashionista:
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under celebrities, family, sports
youtube clip of today: indescribable feelings.
Okay, so you start watching this clip and it’s a creepy dude just singing/slaughtering one of my all-time favorite songs (and wedding song, by the way. I’m not joking.) But if him staring into your eyes (don’t you dare close your eyes!) and taking himself too seriously isn’t enough, just hold out until the second verse (hold your breath, it gets better!).
Oh, the things people will do to put themselves on the internet.
On a side note, this is my first post in quite a long time. I’d like to commend Mal for being kick ass. It feels good to be back.
[Posted by Kathleen]
i paid for the full minute.
Okay so I know I said there wouldn’t be a lot of posts this weekend, but as it turns out, something’s come up. Something very important. Kelsey just showed me a video of herself that somehow I’ve never seen, and I think it deserves to be shared with the world. The setting is Prague, and the videographers are two British strangers that Kelsey and Sarah met (please note their brilliant commentary). The British strangers have encouraged the girls to take shots of absinthe without using their hands. Enjoy:
My favorite part is that Sarah initially just ignores Kelsey’s pain and finishes her shot. That’s friendship right there.
[Posted by Mallory]
Filed under adventures, drinks
to baseball, beer, and barack obama.
Hey kids, tomorrow is America’s birthday! Toss a little Wild Turkey in your Coke and enjoy Fourth of July the patriotic way, by eating too much and drinking too much and generally being a little too loud.
And, dear readers, we apologize for our less-than-regular postings this week. Kathleen’s been otherwise occupied (down with Connecticut!), and I’ve been, uh, prematurely excited for the three-day weekend? We’ll be back in full force next week, armed with plenty of snark. Until then, cheers!
[Posted by Mallory]
swf looking for quarter asian sextuplets.
This week I’ve been working evenings as a receptionist, which makes for a pretty boring job because no one calls corporate offices at night. As long as I answer the phones, I’m allowed to play on the internet (read: blog), watch TV, and read. Last night, once most people were gone from the office, I put on the show that has become my summertime obsession: Jon and Kate Plus 8. For those of you who are missing out on this brilliant show, let me give a brief synopsis: Two perfect people named Jon and Kate got married, couldn’t get pregnant on their own, and turned to fertility treatments for help. They had twin girls, and luckily one of them is nice. Then Jon and Kate wanted one more baby, but they accidentally had six at once, all of whom are perfect and adorable little biracial children. The show is about nothing more than their daily life, but somehow it is absolutely riveting. You can find a marathon on TLC pretty much every day. My sister got me hooked during a marathon back at the beginning of the summer, and I’m officially addicted. For a while, I was embarrassed about this addiction, but I’ve discovered that pretty much everyone secretly loves the show. I was most comforted to learn that my friend’s 26-year-old boyfriend and his roommates watch it whenever they can.
The point is, I love Jon and Kate. That’s why last night, when the head security guy at my work tried to tell me that Jon and Kate are bad parents, I took serious personal offense. I think that the Jon and Kate Debate of ’08 (don’t judge me, I’m really bored) got me even angrier than the heated two-hour political discussion that followed it. (A sample: Him: “Ohh I guess you’re one of those people who believes in global warming…” Me: “Global warming is not Santa Claus! It’s not the notion that Jesus rose from the dead! It’s not something you BELIEVE in, it’s scientific fact!”) I won’t go into any more details, but let the record show that the Gosselins deserve to be sainted, the show is genius, and I currently plotting to kidnap Aaden. Also, I might have to marry an Asian man so that my kids look like that. To put ourselves in an even better mood leading into this three-day weekend, let’s look at more pictures of my favorite TV family:
Aaden, come with me. I have candy.
P.S. Kathleen says she is going to write a post about how Jon and Kate don’t love each other. But don’t listen to her. She’s lying and she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Jon and Kate are perfect.
[Posted by Mallory]
are you smarter than a toddler?
I know almost nothing about the New York City subway system, but I thought this NYT piece by artist Christoph Niemann was absolutely adorable. I promise it’s a quick read, with lots of pictures.
[Posted by Mallory]
mal sandwich/pi beta cry face.
Happy Wednesday, folks! Enjoy your Hump Day Cry Face, along with your three-day weekend!
[Posted by Mallory]
Filed under cry face
hey trouble, loan me twenty bucks?
According to the New York Times (old habits die hard…), crazy hotel/real estate lady Leona Helmsley is REALLY obsessed with dogs. And sort of seems to hate people.
Mrs. Helmsley is no stranger to headlines; after her death last August she shocked people by leaving $12 million to her dog, Trouble (pictured above). A judge later knocked that down to a mere $2 million ($100,000 of which goes to security for the Maltese, who was receiving death threats from, um, jealous strangers?), but the real winners here are dogs all over the country, who stand to benefit from an up to $8 billion trust that Mrs. Helmsley has donated to needy pups:
Her instructions, specified in a two-page “mission statement,” are that the entire trust, valued at $5 billion to $8 billion and amounting to virtually all her estate, be used for the care and welfare of dogs, according to two people who have seen the document and who described it on condition of anonymity.
All of that might make you think Helmsley is just a sweet old woman who really loved dogs, but you’d be wrong. She was known for her “sharp tounge and impatience with humanity,” and she earned the nickname “The Queen of Mean” after a trip to the big house in 1989 for tax evasion. Lady, if you had millions of dollars to give your dog, you certainly had enough money to pay your taxes. (Or maybe tax evasion’s just something that sickeningly rich people do for fun.)
Apparently, the lady’s totally batshit. Although she left tons of money to her precious purse dog, she left two of her grandchildren out of the will. And if that wasn’t enough, she threw two veeewy strange requests into her will: one, that her tomb be “acid-washed or steam-cleaned” each year (and you thought your job was bad) and two, that “two of her grandchildren’s $10 million inheritance [be]contingent on their visiting their father’s grave” and signing in at a registration book in the mausoleum.
I guess this country really has gone to the dogs (ba dum CHING!).
[Posted by Mallory]
a starbucks every other corner, now.
I’m not one of those people who’s addicted to coffee. In fact, I don’t even like the stuff. The only caffeine that really affects me is Diet Coke on an empty stomach, and all coffee does is make me feel jittery and leave a bad taste in my mouth. Still, if I had to choose whether I’m for or against Starbucks, I’d have to say I’m for it. My mom and sister are chronically addicted to the stuff, and I actually had to go to Starbucks with my mother about 15 minutes ago so that she could get her fix. I love their teas, and it was the Venti Zen Tea that got me through many a night at my school’s library. (Did I mention that there’s a Starbucks in our library? Where you can buy coffee and bagels and scones on your meal plan?) And although globalization certainly has its drawbacks, I was thrilled to find a Starbucks in Vienna where I could get a large tea and wander the streets of Austria blissfully clutching a red holiday cup. Plus, on a broader level, I’ve read that Starbucks exemplifies servant leadership, and they seem to be making concerted efforts to do good things for the world.
I can understand the other side of the argument, though. A unique, local coffee shop is a great place to spend a few hours, and it’s a shame that with Starbucks popping up two per block, many of the local stores can’t survive. So I was quite surprised to read that Starbucks is closing 600 stores nationwide. (And that’s a link to a Washington Post article, not NYT. See, I’m branching out!) According to the article, these store closings are a sign that Starbucks is still suffering from the country’s faltering economy. I’m no economist (and in fact, econ makes my brain hurt to the point that if someone forced me to major in the subject, I’d have to drop out of school and work at the mall), but if Starbucks is suffering, that’s gotta be a bad sign.
[Posted by Mallory]
six words to change the world. 