Author Archives: K

things i should have posted earlier.

Yeah yeah yeah.  I know.  I could have posted it this weekend (or yesterday), but nerd statistics show that nobody reads the blog on the weekend anyway, proving that you all use this while you are being paid by your unsuspecting employers. I love it!

SNL had a really good weekend.  Another JT/Andy Samberg song.  Oh girl, I love me some JT.   And Samberg.  RAWR.  If you like “Dick in a Box”, you’ll like this one too:

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So that’s what your coworker is singing that you had no idea about.  A big SWTCTW you’re welcome!  What a beautiful ode to Mother’s Day.  Oddly enough though, I won’t be showing that to my mom.

That was funny, now let’s get political and funny.  In case you didn’t know, we have the greatest most bestest president in the entire world!  He is hilarious!  Here is his speech at the annual White House Correspondent’s Dinner:

The best joke in here is a little inside, I know!  It’s the one he makes about John Boehner (pronounced like BAINER, not BONER) being a person of color.  John Boehner, the House Minority leader, has skin that particular shade of orange that only comes from fake tanning.  See?

He’s even oranger in person, if oranger is a word.

Wanda Sykes was also REALLY funny, but I can’t do all the work for you, so you need to look that up yourself.

I’m off to stalk the news and find funny stuff to post!  You know you love me.  XOXO, i forgot to blog this weekend girl.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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youtube clip of today: rap chop.

Remember Vince Offer?  The ShamWow! hooker puncher?  (His real name is actually Vince Schlomi.  Teehee.)  Well, here is remixed video of his Slap Chop infomercial, appropriately titled the “Rap Chop”.  The person who made this ABSOLUTELY has too much time on their hands, but it is funny.  Best part?  “You’re gonna love my nuts”.  Oh, Vince.  How the mighty infomercial spokesman have fallen.  And just for funsies, here is his mugshot.

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[Posted by Kathleen]

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jon, minus kate and 8, cheats.

jon-and-kate-gosselinSCROLL DOWN FOR STORY UPDATES

I just read some devastating, but kind of unsurprising, news.  Jon Gosselin of “Jon and Kate Plus 8” definitely cheated on Kate.  US Weekly has the whole story, which includes pictures.  The other woman is Deanna Hummel, a 23-year-old third grade teacher.  Her brother, Jason, lives with her and that’s why he can give all the juicy details.  And in case you’re wondering, he’s just trying to protect his sister, not get publicity for himself or somehow finagle money out of this.  Of course.

In fact, he’s trying to protect her so much that he takes away all of her privacy and any of her dignity with this gem of a quote:

A lot of the time, it was pretty, um, gross listening to her, you know, um — how do I say this? The walls are thin. Let’s just say that. I mean, no one wants to hear his sister having sex, let alone with a married dude who’s, like, almost twice her age and who has eight kids and a maybe-crazy wife. Ick. Nast.

Ick? Nast?  Gross.  I don’t really want to talk about the content of that quote, but I am obligated to point out that Jon isn’t “like, almost twice her age.”  He’s 32, and she’s 23.  He’s 14 years short of being twice her age.  Just sayin’.

This whole thing is a mess.

Two weeks ago, when pictures surfaced of Jon in a car with “the mystery woman” (it was Deanna) leaving a club, he made this statement.

“I went to Legends to speak to the owner.  A friend of mine wanted to check out my car, so I let her drive it to her car,” he says. “Yes, I have female friends — but that is all she is. I’m not going to end my friendships just because I’m on TV.”

Now Jon, that was stupid.  Kate is going to hit you extra hard now when you’re sitting in that big chair talking about your day and the lessons you learned.  Kate doesn’t like it when the kids lie, I doubt she’ll be very kind to you.

I wonder what TLC is going to do.  They said “no comment” on the story last time.   It’s all awful, and despite me thinking that Kate is really mean to Jon, there is no justification for his actions.  He doesn’t get a pass.  He has eight children under the age of seven.  What on earth was he thinking?  Did he think that nobody would recognize him?

I’m sad for the family, and most of all the children.  One of the things the Gosselin’s show was praised for is how “real” it is.  And we, their audience, really liked that.  Well, the scenes with the kids are real.  But the family dynamic is larger than just the day to day silliness of the kids.

Will this change the way you see the show?

Oh, and Aaden, if things get too tough at home, you can come live with me and Mallory.  We’ll raise you.  And get you a cuter pair of glasses.

UPDATED!

Here are the statements from Deanna Hummel and Jon Gosselin from People magazine:

“My brother is making this all up,” Hummel tells PEOPLE. “He has no credibility … I can’t even stomach the lies he’s saying about me.”  Hummel continues to deny any sort of romantic relationship with Gosselin, and the elementary school teacher admits that there’s been bad blood between her and her brother for a while now. “My brother is very shady,” says Hummel. “He has no job. He has a criminal background. He was charged for drug distribution. He’s on probation right now.”

“These allegations are false and just plain hurtful,” Gosselin says in a statement exclusively to PEOPLE. “As I adjust to the attention that comes from being in the public eye, I need to be more careful and aware of who I am associating with and where I am spending my time. But the bottom line is, I did not cheat on Kate.

And the plot thickens!

Here are the pictures.  Who do you believe?

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[Posted by Kathleen]

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youtube clip of today: hey jude.

If you want to feel happy, just watch this video.

Watch 13,500 people in Trafalgar Square, all singing Hey Jude.  PINK, by the way, is leading them in song.  Honestly, why does this have to be a viral video for T-Mobile?  Why can’t stuff like this just happen all the time?  Life would be so much more fun.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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specter sees the light, joins dems.

arlenspectorRepublican Senator Arlen Specter, a well-known moderate, has announced he is joining the Democratic party and he will run as a Democrat in 2010.  This is not a huge surprise.  He has consistently voted with the Democrats since Obama has been elected.  Apparently though, our Veep, Mr. Biden is the one that convinced him.  Way to go, Joe!

Obviously as a Democrat, I am happy that we have one more crucial vote in the Senate.  (Now if they would just get that pesky Minnesota seat settled and swear in Al Franken…)  But let’s look at the larger picture here.

I always like to give credit where credit is due.  I am, after all, a first born child and I LOVE to be recognized when I’m right or when do a good job.  (Do you think they’ll give me gold star stickers for a job well done in the real world?)  The Republican party, over the past ten years, has done a fantastic job at messaging.  Ex- It didn’t matter that he wasn’t smart, America just needed a president you can sit down and have a beer with.  This, of course, turned out to be an EPIC FAIL.  But the American people bought it in 2000 and 2004.  Here’s another good one:  All Democrats are socialists who want to take away your guns and hard earned money, abort your babies and let the terrorists win while turning the US of A into a godless nation.  A slight exaggeration, but I can only hope that you get my point.

But while the GOP was painting moderate Democrats and the actual socialists with the same brush, they neglected the fact that their own party has its moderates.  And maybe, just maybe, the party’s message was excluding them.

It’s weird, but I think Meghan McCain is the most logical spokesperson the GOP has right now.  Naturally, I will disagree with her on some points, but at least she’s says things that make sense.  And if they are looking for the youth vote, I’m pretty sure MM will have a better chance at reaching out to young people then Rush Limbaugh.  Or that wretched Ann Coulter.  Ugh.

I don’t really feel like analyzing how the GOP can fix its problems when I think there are bigger problems to solve… like the economy.  I’ll let you know when I figure that one out.  In the mean time, my trust is in B.

But welcome to the real party, Sen. Specter.  Time to get down to business.  There’s work to be done.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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the worst band EVER reunites. joy.

scott-stapp-looking-stupid-as-usual

Here is a quick piece of music news/a warning.  Remember Creed?  I’ll give you a moment while you cringe… are you okay?  Yeah, those guys.  Well, prepare for the second coming of the world’s worst faux-Christian rock band.  (Second coming.  Ha!  Get it?  Like Jesus?)

In an interview with Rolling Stone, Scott Stapp, the lead d-bag singer, calls the reunion a “a renewing and a rebirth”.  I would venture to say it’s more of “a remistake and a reterrible”.

There are going to be plenty of tour dates…if you really care.

The guys already have demos and are looking to all the money making producers to scrounge up a hit single for them.  Could we possibly see a Creed song featuring Timbaland?  Maybe?

But what about Scotty’s solo CD?!  He answers the most important question:

“It would be irresponsible for me to think about anything but Creed. This band is my first love and a first love that’s stood the test of time. It’s not hard to step away from any kind of personal agenda when you are totally fulfilled.”

A first love that stood the test of time… except when your band broke up for five years.  Now, call me crazy, but it seems like perhaps Mr. Stapp realized a reunion tour might be his only chance to make lots of dollars.  Maybe that’s what he means when he says totally fulfilled.

Some of you may wonder where all of this strong dislike for Creed comes from.  Well first of all, the music sucks.  But I think my real battle (if you couldn’t tell) is with Scott Stapp.  Rolling Stone forgets to mention a few things.  Creed broke up because Scott Stapp is a jerk.  And it was all downhill from there.  In 2006, he was arrested for public intoxication on the night of his wedding.  His 6 year old son was the best man.  Way to set a good example, Scott.  Then, he was arrested for domestic abuse in 2007.  Oh, and did you know he has a creepy sex tape with Kid Rock and a bunch of groupies on a bus?

KID ROCK.

Kid Rock and sex tape should not be in the same sentence.  Ever.

So there you have it.  You have been warned.  Now please excuse me, I’m going to go listen to some Taylor Swift.  THAT is music.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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youtube clip of today: facebook manners.

In case you haven’t figured out Facebook yet, here is a quick guide to Facebook etiquette.  You might get a little chuckle out of this.  It’s quite silly, and because Facebook is so deeply embedded in our culture now, you will at the very least be able to relate to it a little.  Sorry I haven’t been posting much!  That changes today!

[Posted by Kathleen]

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it’s a stoner holiday. happy 4/20!

billandted4601

I don’t smoke, so today is a day just like any other for me.  But like many people, I was curious why this day is so meaningful and how it go to be that way.  So, click HERE to read a column in the HuffPo that explains everything.  It’s fairly hilarious and kind of interesting.  Here at SWTCTW, we find the answers to your questions so that you don’t have to look it up yourselves.  You’re welcome, readers!  XOXO!

[P0sted by Kathleen]

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surgery means like daughter, like mother.

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The tree didn’t fall far from the apple.  Like daughter, like mother.  Obviously these are backwards, but they kind of make sense for Janet and Jane Cunliffe.  Janet, the mother (and the one on the left), wanted so much to look like her daughter, that she spent about 15,000 bucks to do so.

The best thing to do with this story is to give you the quotes from the story, which appeared in one of the UK’s prestigious beacons of journalism, The Daily Mail.

‘It might sound barmy that I had cosmetic surgery to look like my daughter, but she’s gorgeous. Who wouldn’t want to look like her?

‘The way I see it is that she got her looks from me in the first place – mine have just faded with age.

‘Seeing how attractive Jane is made me want to get my looks back. Now instead of mum and daughter we look more like twins. I had good genes and good skin, but I needed a helping hand to make me feel better about myself.’

Barmy indeed, Janet.  That’s a pretty expensive helping hand, wouldn’t you say?  Here’s something else that sort of got my attention.  The way she talks, you’d think she just got new boobies and a face lift or something.  Well, I know you’ve been dying to see what her “before” picture looks like.  FEAST YOUR EYES ON THIS!

FIERCE!

FIERCE!

Janet’s first foray into plastic surgery was her boobs.  Apparently her husband was not too impressed, and with words worthy of a Pulitzer, The Daily Mail states:

Alas, the new breasts weren’t enough to save her marriage.

Brilliant writing!

So Janet and her husband divorce.  Janet moves to Spain with a lover.  Janet and her lover call it quits, so she has nowhere to go.  She moves in with her daughter, Jane.  She began to party with Jane and Jane’s friends.  The saggy saga continues.

‘Jane and her friends are so glamourous and gorgeous that I stood out like a sore thumb. I felt like an old bag,’ she says. ‘Jane told me not to be so self-critical, but I knew it was true.’

Jane didn’t say it was false…

‘I envied Jane’s crinkle-free eyes, full lips and luscious, long blonde hair,’ says Janet. ‘I was desperate to look more like my daughter, but knew no wrinkle creams could ever wind back the clock that far.’

Janet just had to do something!

‘I had some savings and knew if I wanted to look more like Jane then I’d have to get my eyes done first, and my nose.’

So now, when Janet and Jane go out, people think they look like sisters… or twins.  But I’d say those who call them twins have been drinking too much. Bleached hair and big boobs does not necessarily mean that they are twins.

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Another cute pic of the girls (notice that Jane is wearing the same outfit that Janet is wearing in the picture above!):

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And I’m speechless.

Apparently Jane doesn’t care and thinks her mom looks better than Madonna, but I’m not so sure.  I mean, how would you feel?  Sure, people get plastic surgery– that doesn’t bother me.  If that’s what they need to do to feel better, then alright.  But I think it’s a little bizarre that a mother would get plastic surgery to look like her daughter.  It just seems…odd.  Am I wrong here?

[Posted by Kathleen]

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youtube clip of today: susan boyle.

Today’s clip goes hand in hand with the SWTCTW cliche life lesson of the day (which I just started.  Right now.  And probably won’t continue tomorrow.): never judge a book by its cover.

Watch this video.  The whole thing.

UPDATED:  Here it is again if the first one doesn’t work.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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