Proof! Some humans look like animals.
[Posted by Mallory]
Category Archives: animals
guess what copper ate this time?
My parents are hosting some guests back in Denver, and Copper thought he’d welcome said guests by treating them just how he treats us. First, he stole the man’s slippers (and my mom couldn’t find them in any of Copper’s usual hiding spots). Then, he ate AN ENTIRE BOX of Viactiv chocolate calcium tablets that the woman brought with her. Nice, Copper.
My mom tried to research whether this meant Copper would suddenly have a heart attack, but her computer wasn’t working. So far, he’s still alive. Probably gleefully chomping on his new slippers as a nightcap.
[Posted by Mallory]
copper has never gone this far.
Lana, one of our millions of New York correspondents, just sent along a very interesting article about a very hungry dog from North Carolina. Apachee, a b-e-a-utiful husky, had to be operated on this week because he had eaten a fork. Yup, a fork.
He had swallowed the fork a few days before the surgery. It sat there for a few days, then punctured a hole in his stomach and “traveled into his chest, penetrated his lung and lacerated his pulmonary artery.” Apachee almost died from internal bleeding and cardiac arrest, but luckily his vets were able to perform emergency surgery and save him. Phew! Copper, don’t get any ideas.
[Posted by Mallory]
guess what copper ate this time?
Well he didn’t exactly eat something…yet. A while back, I wrote a post about doggy Prozac and other such things, and in the post I mentioned that my beloved nutso dog Copper would probably be a candidate for some sort of anxiety pill. My mom took him to the vet the other day, and turns out, HE IS. The vet wants to put him on doggy Prozac, but naturally my anti-pill father won’t allow it. My conversation with my mom went a little like this:
Me: Prozac?! No! Didn’t you read my scathing post about doggy drugs?
Mom: Uh, no…
Me: Well, I don’t think Copper should go on drugs. It might make him…boring!
Mom: You’re on Prozac; are you boring?
Me: Point taken.
Mom: Think of it, he could be a new man!
Ugh. I really hope my dog doesn’t have to go on anti-anxiety medicine, but I’ll keep you posted.
[Posted by Mallory]
youtube clip of today: hog calling.
This literally leaves me speechless. But let’s commend Doris Probst for being the first woman ever to win the hog calling contest at the Illinois State Fair. Okay, now that’s out of the way. Wait, I’m STILL speechless.
[Posted by Kathleen]
bigfoot’s big news? or big lies?
Two dudes are getting ready to pull off the biggest prank ever, or make a mockery of all of us non-freaks (kidding!) who laugh at the supermarket tabloids. In the tabloids’ defense, they did bring the John Edwards (I hope Jesse Jackson goes after him, if you know what I mean) affair to the attention of the mainstream media. Anyway, so Matthew Whitton (AKA Gary Parker…that’s what the Web site says. What does that mean?! That’s almost as mysterious as Bigfoot) and Rick Dyer found Bigfoot! They’ve got pictures and everything. And if anyone was to find it, I’m glad it was these guys because they dedicated their lives to it. Yes, they are like the Ghostbusters. Except they are Searching For Bigfoot, Inc. Seriously. And they found Bigfoot in the woods in Northern Georgia. Really, Bigfoot? Nothing against Georgia, but there are better woods in this country. Like….NEW HAMPSHIRE.
But I’d like to give some credit to George Lucas for this discovery. Perhaps he saw Bigfoot years ago, and instead of turning him in, used him as a muse for Chewbacca. I don’t know, just a thought. They do look really similar…
I’d totally blow these guys off and make fun of them mercilessly, but they are having a press conference on Friday to present their evidence. They’ve got a body, and, in true CSI or other generic TV crime drama form, they will present DNA evidence. Gasp! DNA!? AWESOME. Anyway, you can read more about it here, or go to Searching For Bigfoot, Inc. (super duper tackytastic Web site)
What do you think? I just feel like this summer is so crazy. First the astronaut says there are aliens, then we have the Montauk monster. Now I need to go pick up a few tabloids. You never know, maybe Elvis is next.
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under animals, celebrities, news, pop culture, random
guess what copper ate this time?
My dog (pictured above, looking saucy) is definitely not a skinny bitch. Well, actually, he’s pretty damn skinny, but he’s not what you might call a “light eater.” For some time now, I’ve been meaning to start regularly posting about the random shit that Copper eats, because man, it’s impressive. In the past, he has eaten half of a huge nutella/white chocolate cake, a jar of honey, a bag of Chex Mix, brownies that were in a Tupperware, a can of Hansen’s soda, a bag of Snickers (wrappers included), a container of rat poison, etc. etc. As you can see, he’s not particularly discriminating in his culinary choices.
Today, Copper ate an entire loaf of banana bread. That we were giving to our friend who has cancer. NICE ONE, Copper.
[Posted by Mallory]
when our work’s done for us.
Walsh, our Chicago-based correspondent, sent us this excellent six-word headline from the Discovery Channel online:
“Tree Shrew Lives on Nature-Brewed Beer.”
Um, awesome! Basically, this one plant in West Malaysia produces a nectar that smells like beer and has a 3.8% alcohol content. A bunch of animals like to toss back a few at nature’s bar, but the tree shrew is the real frat dog in this rainforest:
The researchers conducted video surveillance of visitors to the plant and determined that many species bellied up to the bar-like scene, particularly at night, when the number of visits more than doubled. Nocturnal imbibers included the gray tree rat, the Malayan wood rat, the chestnut rat, the slow loris and the pentailed tree shrew.
The latter two animals spent far more time than the others did moving up and down the palm flowers and licking off the available nectar and pollen. The shrews stayed an average of 138 minutes per night, while the lorises fed for an average of 86 minutes each night.
But don’t worry, the tree shrew isn’t going sob to you about how much he misses his ex-girlfriend or vom in the cab. According to the author of the article about this crazy critter, Frank Wiens, “The [shrews] show no obvious signs of drunkenness when observed from only 9.8 feet away away.” Better than I can say for myself.
[Posted by Mallory]
dear god, am i skinny yet?
Now that I’ve been eating somewhat like a skinny bitch for the past, oh, four days, I’ve started looking pretty good. Take a look at this picture of me, just hanging out poolside:
Not bad, right?
Okay, actually, I’ve successfully not consumed diet pop or meat since whenever I finished Skinny Bitch (a whopping four days ago, OKAY?!). I was feeling really inspired yesterday and decided that I was going to be a vegan until I go to New York on Thursday, but I went to a Mexican restaurant today, and Mexican food without cheese would be a crime against humanity. So I cracked. Also, if we’re getting technical, the skinny bitches said that to be truly healthy, you’re not supposed to have any alcohol besides organic red wine. Yesterday I maybe had a shot of tequila with my family friends at 11:45 a.m. They made me do it.
So my progress is as follows:
- I was a true Skinny Bitch-style vegan for three hours yesterday.
- I was more or less a “vegan” for a little over 24 hours.
- I have been a vegetarian for four days.
In my book, that ain’t bad. Let’s see what happens this weekend when I spend many drunken days/nights with my bacon-and-chicken-nugget-loving friends. Wish me luck.
[Posted by Mallory]
Filed under animals, celebrities, drinks, food
quick takes on some “news” stories.
When I say news, I’m not taking about world news or current affairs. I’m talking about things I find interesting. You know, quirky news.
- The world’s smallest snake was found in Barbados. Ewwwwwww. It is as wide as a strand of spaghetti and can be up to four inches long. As if I wasn’t afraid of snakes already, now I have to be afraid of snakes that I can’t even see. If I’m ever in Barbados. Oh, and here’s the best. The scientist who discovered it named it Leptotyphlops carlae, after his wife, Carla. Carla is a herpetologist. Hmmm. I’m pretty sure I graduated with a few herpetologists.
- Jen Moss must be loving life right now. On Saturday, dozens, perhaps hundreds of bike riders rode the streets of St. Louis as naked as they dared. The World Naked Bike Ride (careful if you’re at work, there is nudity on the web site) protests the cost of oil. And let’s face it, it’s an excuse to ride around on your bicycle nakey. According to eyewitnesses, lots of boobs and thongs. Good times. Oh, and to make it even better, the 10 mile ride ended at a bar. GOOD PLANNING!
- Lindsay Lohan’s leeeeetle seeeeester, Ali Lohan, “accidentally” auditioned for a horror movie directed by a well-known porn director, Peter Davy. HA! Her rep says Ali didn’t know about his past, which includes “Voodoo Lust” and “Dreams in the Forbidden Zone” (RAWR!), and if she did she would not have auditioned. Question: does Ali Lohan book her own auditions? I’m pretty sure her agents aren’t that dumb. And isn’t it strange that she has a reality show right now? My my, that sounds like such a good plot line!
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under animals, celebrities, news, pop culture, random
six words to change the world. 