Category Archives: news

oh joy! the 18th bundle arrives.

We all have hobbies.  I like to think of mine as travel (because that sounds cool), but it’s probably reading US Weekly and the Huffington Post nonstop.  For Jim Bob Duggar and his wife, Michelle, I would venture to say that their hobby is having babies.  The Duggars just welcomed their 18th child into their crazy world.  Little Jordyn-Grace Makiya was born on December 19. Now I love babies.  I coo at every one I see.  I love the little clothes, the little shoes, etc.  Perhaps I’ll have one or two in my lifetime.  But my god, the thought of 18 babies WITH NO INTENTION OF STOPPING makes me a little queasy.  Yes, Jim Bob told the press “We both would love to have more”.  Sure, buddy.  Michelle Duggar has been having children for over 20 years.  And as if it couldn’t get any more bizarre, here are their names and ages.

Joshua, 20

Jana, 18

John-David, 18

Jill, 17

Jessa, 16

Jinger, 14

Joseph, 13

Josiah, 12

Joy-Anna, 11

Jeremiah, 9

Jedidiah, 9

Jason, 8

James, 7

Justin, 6

Jackson, 4

Johannah, 3

Jennifer, 1

Jordyn-Grace, 0

ALL J NAMES?  WHY WHY WHY? (Ginger with a J? Seriously?)  You could probably guess this by the freakshow nature and all the babies, but the Duggars have their own show on TLC.  It’s called ‘Seventeen and Counting’.  That’s original.  But will they have to change the name now?  This family seems a little strange.  I’ll take ‘Jon & Kate Plus 8’ anyday.  They are awesome.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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no cake for you, little adolph.

A bakery in the Dirty Jerz has refused to make a three year old a birthday cake.  That’s terrible, you say. Right?  Well, not as terrible as what I’m going to tell you next.  The three year old’s name is Adolph Hitler.  Yes, as in the worst person ever.  The mini fuhrer’s parents, Heath and Deborah Campbell, named their child Adolph Hitler and then were appalled that the ShopRite bakery refused to write “Happy Birthday Adolph Hitler” on the cake.  I cannot get over this.  How can this be surprising to them?

I wonder if they’ll be surprised when he gets thrown into lockers and beat up in middle school, high school, college, life.

And you think little Adolph has it bad?  He has two sisters…ready?

Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie and JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell.

OUCH.  But back to the bakery and cake in question.

According to the news story,

A spokeswoman for ShopRite said that this was not the bakery department’s first run in with the Campbells – a similar request was denied two years ago when the shop also refused to daub swastikas on baked goods for the family.

Interesting.  But whatever you do, PUHLEASE do NOT call the Campbells racists!  They’re not racists!  Heath Campbell will tell you that Dolphie has black friends AND mixed race friends that even went to his birthday party.  Oooooh, it’s the “I’ve got friends that are x” defense.  Yeah, we’ve heard that one.  It’s like when Sarah Palin defended her hateful anti-gayness by saying she has gay friends.  This defense, we all know, is very weak.

“If we’re so racist, then why would I have them come into my home?” he asked.

I can’t answer that, but rather I ask the question “why would any parent let their child into the Campbells’ home?”

I blame Heath and Deborah completely, so despite having a terrible name, I hope Adolph had a good birthday.  And when he is old enough, I hope he has the desire and courage to change his name.  Maybe to Martin Luther King or something.  That would be awesome.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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naked people will change the world.

untitled

You know when you’re faced with a really tough problem and you finally realize that the only real solution is to get naked? Preferably somewhere public?  No?  Whatever, if you were French you would know what I was talking about.

Yesterday, more than 20 artists’ models, male and female, stripped naked and braved Paris’ freezing temperatures to protest against a ban on tips and demand better pay and recognition.  The artists decided to protest after Parisian authorities recently made the decision to enforce a ban on artists’ tips or “cornet.”  One artist told Reuters,

“We’re very badly paid and it’s always been that way,” said model Carole Kras, who joined others in the courtyard of a 16th century palace that houses the Paris cultural affairs offices.

“We’ve always had the ‘cornet’ to make up for some of that but now they want to get rid of it,” she said, as shivering colleagues got dressed after briefly disrobing.

The models work for the city of Paris and pose for students and professional artists making an average wage of 10 euros an hour (about $13).  The models are also protesting for greater professional recognition.  Carole Karus described the job saying, “It is a profession, it’s tiring. Because it’s physical, you need a lot of endurance and it’s also expressive,” she said. “We’re performers who play non-speaking roles, that’s the way I always think of it.”

Neither public protests or public nudity are anything new in Paris, I saw quite a lot of both when I lived there so the protest didn’t gain much attention from the public.  However, the cultural affairs office in Paris took notice and a representative said they believe a solution can be found. 

In a city that is itself a work of art, nude models and artists are as important as sidewalk cafes and baguettes.  I have a feeling that an agreement will be reached soon, hopefully before the artists freeze their tatas off (because that would make for some very strange art). 

[Posted by Madeline]

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ny’s governor paterson, snl’s latest buffoon?

This past weekend, SNL’s Weekend Update featured an interview with New York Governor David Paterson during which, Fred Armisen portrayed the legally blind head of state in a less than flattering manner.  I know, that’s hard to imagine for SNL.  Usually, they’re so kind to the politicians whose every character flaw they mercilessly thrust into the spotlight.  Two days later, Paterson’s office is none too happy about the skit which referred to the governor’s blindness in a mocking tone throughout the skit (again, SNL?  mocking?  really!?).

According to the New York Times, “Gov. David A. Paterson’s office criticized a skit on this weekend’s “Saturday Night Live” in which Mr. Paterson, who is legally blind, was portrayed as disoriented and buffoonlike.”  Hold on . . . “disoriented and buffoonlike” . . . I think they’ve done that before . . .

Before we proceed any further, internets, there’s something you should know.  Like Governor Paterson, I am legally blind.  Unlike Governor Paterson, I am only legally blind in one eye and can see almost perfectly out of the other with the help of some very expensive corrective lenses.  Yes, okay, his disability is far more severe and maybe it was a lot harder for him to go to school and maybe unfair accomodations for the visually impaired made him fail the bar exam BUT if I close my right eye I can only see large objects and colors–just like David Paterson.  AND I’ve been wearing glasses since I was four and one half years old and you know what?  Pre-schoolers are MEAN.  So are kindergarteners.  And first graders.  And you know what the only thing is that mean 4-7 year olds love more than a peer in glasses?  A peer with an EYE PATCH.  That’s right, folks.  I was forced to wear an eye patch.  Everyday.  To school.  And maybe three years of humiliation is better than a lifetime with a lazy eye but it STILL SUCKED.  Not only did it make me look silly but it made me walk into things and fall a lot and develop a life-long fear of “the ball.”  Softball, football, kooshball–I don’t care what it is PLEASE DON’T THROW IT IN MY DIRECTION.

Anyway, back to Governor Paterson.  He’s pretty blind and SNL made some jokes about this.  Now, the dude’s office is fahhhh–reaking out.  Which is strange on a few levels.  The first being that the governor is a pretty funny guy and is known for making jokes about his vision problems (I believe that’s called a coping mechanism).  The second being that if you watch the skit (and I’ve kindly allowed you to do so below) you may notice that the jokes are more about Governor Paterson’s cocaine use and hatred of New Jersey than his blindness.  Including my favorite moment when Seth Meyers asks the Governor what he has against NJ and he replies “unfortunately, a southern border.”  That’s funny.  And so are most of the other jokes where SNL pokes fun at Paterson’s inexperience and scandal-ridden career.  Yes, Fred Armisen does squint his right eye and let his left eye wander and yes, he does hold up the graph of unemployment rates upside down.  Will Ferrell does the same thing when he portrays President Bush.   For goodness sake–it’s satire, it’s overdone, live from New York, it’s Saturday Night!!

I think that the bigger problem here is that as the nation’s first legally blind governor, Paterson represents a group of individuals who are affected daily by prejudice and discrimination.  At an event in New York City Sunday night Paterson spoke on the issue without directly addressing the SNL skit saying,

“I run the place that I work in so I don’t have to worry about being discriminated against, I think,” he said. “But the point is that a lot of people who don’t get promotions and don’t get opportunities and don’t even get work are disabled in our society.” 

 That’s very true and I don’t mean to be insensitive but those people aren’t limited to the visually or physically impaired.  There are gays, blacks, latinos, women, etc. who are in the same position . . . and SNL makes fun of all of them.  But, oddly enough, it’s done lovingly and it often progresses the national dialogue.  That being said, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t cringe once or twice when watching this skit and I don’t think SNL should be protected by a “but they make fun of everyone” clause.   I understand Governor Paterson’s frustrations (believe me), but at the end of the day he’s just another politician to be ridiculed on SNL.  Ultimately, he wasn’t picked on because he was blind but because he wasn’t supposed to become the governor, because he used to do cocaine and cheat on his wife, because he hates New Jersey, because he’s there.  Maybe years of being called “four eyes” and “Captain Hook” (which didn’t even make sense, I know) have made me impervious to vision-related taunts and I’m not being sensitive enough.  So please, watch and decide for yourself.  Is this more offensive than I’m giving it credit for?

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peace is not a side dish.

Here’s the thing. I feel like I am drunk, but really, I have just been writing papers for too many hours and days and days and hours. I got so wacky that I almost wrote “peace is not a side dish” in my paper before realizing that it was not even a remotely academic thing to say. Now I’m done writing for tonight, but I have to wait for my friend Jill because I don’t want to walk home alone in the cold. 

So how about I tell you some random shit?

First, this is a weird video that Kathleen nerded over from South America:

I find it both cute and really, really sad. I hate when the hamster is left on his back like that! 

Junior year of college, my friends Katie and Annie got two gerbils, and named them Stella and Jager. We played fun games like Blackout Gerbil Out and Gerbilvision, but that got old after like two weeks. Now Katie’s little sister takes care of the herby gerbs.

Speaking of animals, did you hear about the woman who “hid a sedated monkey under her blouse on a flight from Thailand“? This crazy lady, whose name is obviously Gypsy, tried to hide the monkey under a loose-fitting blouse, and now she’s in big trouble for smuggling. Apparently it just looked like she was pregnant. I mean, I wear a lot of loose-fitting blouses, but usually it’s to hide a belly full of Smartfood and breakfast sandwiches, not a monkey.

Speaking of monkeys, I LOVE Pandora. Like a lot. It is so great. Another thing that I love is video chat. I love that video chat turns quasi-adults into four-year-olds making funny faces in the mirror. It’s hysterical. My friend Jill and I video-chatted our friend Tamar today, and we essentially spent the whole time seeing who could make the ugliest face. Mature? No. Entertaining? YES. 

Aaand continuing with the stream-of-consciousness, have you guys tried the fancy new things on Gmail? There are SO many cool new things, which I obviously spent way too long playing with today. You can make task lists on your Gmail (hellooo, Type A); take “breaks” where your Gmail basically forces you to not be glued to your computer for 15 minutes (hellooo, lack of self control); and you can customize your label colors (hellooo, NERD). The best one, though, is the attachment reminder. If you write in your email that you are attaching something and then you forget to attach it, Gmail will REMIND YOU TO ATTACH IT. 

This is all awesome, but it also freaks me out a little. I mean, Gmail has been around for a few years and it is already basically thinking for us. I can’t even fathom what they’ll come up with next. If it’s a feature that blow dries my hair and makes me breakfast while I check my morning email, though, I’ll be okay with it.

Final Bonus Confession: I get both Economist updates and Self Fit Move of the Week updates emailed to me, and I always delete them before I even open them. But I won’t unsubscribe, because that would prove that I’m un-intellectual and lazy. Logical, right?

[Posted by Mallory]

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prop 8, the celebrity filled musical.

While the California State Supreme Court waits to hear three separate lawsuits challenging Prop 8 several celebrities have come together with “Funny or Die” to create “Prop 8, The Musical.” Starring John C. Reilly, Maya Rudolph/Kathleen, Allison Janney, Jack Black as Jesus and many more (does anybody else see Darryl from ‘The Office’ in the ensemble?) PLUS a special appearance by Neil Patrick Harris, the musical, while entertaining, argues that gay marriage is good for the economy. And, you know, civil rights (potato, potahto).

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[Posted by Madeline]

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want to see a tissue dance?

mona-lisa-picking-nose

Put a little boogie in it!  Ha-that one will never get old.  Unless, of course, you pick your nose so much that you bleed to death.  Which is exactly what happened to Ian Bothwell who passed away in September at the age of 63 as a result of too much nose-picking.  I imagine that booger jokes lose their appeal at that point–for a variety of reasons.

The Manchester, England coroner who examined Bothwell determined that, “”There is no explanation for this death other than he died from a nose-bleed, consistent with picking his nose. I do not think for a moment he knew what he was doing was going to cause his death.”  According to the UK Telegraph, the death was recorded as a “misadventure.” 

I have to lay off the snark a little here because it’s actually quite a sad story.  Poor Ian Bothwell fell into a life of alcoholism after suffering a brain hemorrhagewhen he was 20.  He couldn’t keep a job and had only one living relative, a sister who he had only seen once in 30 years.  And then . . . he died from picking his nose.  So let’s all do Ian Bothwell a favor.  Let’s learn from his mistake and memorialize him by blowing more often than not.  If you absolutely cannot fight the urge then please, pick with caution–it could be a matter of life and death.

[Posted by Madeline]

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obama can’t get through to republicans.

Literally.  They will not take his calls.  Okay, it’s just the one.  Republican Congresswoman Ileana Ros-Lehtinen hung up on Obama not once . . . but twice yesterday, assuming that it was a prank call. 

Hold the phones (ha).  This woman is the ranking Republican member of the House Foreign Affairs committee, not to mention, um, a congresswoman.  Isn’t it part of her job description to take important phone calls?  But wait . . . there’s more!  Here is an exerpt from the official press release from the office of the congresswoman:

“Cong. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen thought it was a hoax when President-Elect Barak (sic) Obama called her twice today and she proceeded to hang up on him, twice.”

Really?!  I mean, REALLY?!  So, White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel called the Congresswoman to tell her that she had hung up on the President Elect.  Ros-Lehtinen then hung up on him and spelled his name wrong in the press release as well (not to be accused of playing favorites):

“A short time later, Cong. and Chief of Staff designate Rahm Emmanuel (sic) called Ileana and stated ‘Ileana, I cannot believe that you hung up on the President-Elect.’ Ros-Lehtinen told Rahm that she didn’t believe the call was legitimate and hung up on Emmanuel (sic).”

Obama and Ros-Lehtinen were finally able to have a chat about Cuba and Israel (thank goodness he wasn’t calling about anything important . . . ) after Chairman Howard Berman of the Foreign Affairs Committee called the Congresswoman, proved his identity over the phone by sharing a story only the two would know (creepy . . .), and broke the news that she had indeed hung up on the President-Elect.  Twice. 

Once, I accidentally sent an e-mail to the president of my university which accidentally said that I loved him.  That was pretty embarassing but I think hanging up on the President-Elect of the United States twice in one day would be worse.  When Barack calls me and offers me a job (any day now . . . ) I will be sure not to make the same mistake. 

[Posted by Madeline]

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dating advice from a fourth grader.

When I was in elementary school I wrote a “book” about visiting the boardwalk during a storm.  Except that it was actually about visiting the doardwalk because the letter b was hard to wrap my mind around.  Then I wrote a book about a dog named Penny who had puppies.  Both were illustrated by the author.  Neither was any good (of course, my mom would tell you otherwise). 

Alec Greven, a fourth grader at Soaring Hawk Elementary School in Castle Rock, Colorado, has also written a book.  The only difference between his book and my book is that his is a national best seller.  Alec wrote “How to Talk to Girls” when he was eight as part of a school project.  Based on his life experiences and playground observations the book contains such advice as:

Sometimes, you get a girl to like you and then she ditches you.  Life is hard, move on!

Tip: About 73 percent of regular girls ditch boys; 98 percent of pretty girls ditch boys. 

(from Chapter One: The Facts of Life)

It should be noted that those statistics are not national figures, they pertain only to Alec’s observations of girls at Soaring Hawk Elementary.  The book impressed his teacher and principal so much that they decided to sell it for three dollars at the school’s book fair, where it became the fair’s best-seller.  Harper Collins published the book last month and now Alec is dispensing his dating advice to boys of all ages all over the country.  Some of his best advice?

“You also have to be aware that girls win most of the arguments and have most of the power.  If you know that now, things might be easier.”  (Chapter One: The Facts of Life)

That is a fact of life, indeed.  Way to go Alec.  To enjoy all of Alec’s advice you should probably buy his book or ask Santa to bring it to you for Christmas.  In the meantime, enjoy some more of Alec’s innocent wisdom:

Many boys who have crushes don’t know how to act around a girl. Some boys tease girls they like and are mean to them. Some boys say silly things to girls and act goofy. Some boys think they are acting cool by showing off.

This is not a good approach.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

Whatever happens, just don’t act desperate. Girls don’t like desperate boys

. . . . . . . . . . . .

The right thing to do when you have a crush is:

  • Never show off too much
  • Don’t be silly and goofy
  • Control your hyperness (cut down on sugar if you need to)
  • Make sure you have good friends who won’t try to take the girl you like.

 

I know what my brother is getting for Christmas . . .

[Posted by Madeline]

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just six words and a picture.

I will never pretend that I actually pay attention to football, but I am biologically required to care about the annual CU/Nebraska game. This year’s was just devastating for real CU fans, and me. 

Ralphie says: “Way to choke, Hawkins.”

[Posted by Mallory]

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