Category Archives: pop culture

by | August 19, 2008 · 4:43 am

the hills returns! don’t judge me.

So I make fun of it all the time, but let me just say I feel as excited as this girl when she gets to sit next to steamy oh so dreamy Joe Jonas. Rawr. (I am OBSESSED with this picture, by the way. Haha.)

THE HILLS IS BACK, YA’LL! Why do I love this show? I really can’t explain it. Perhaps it sends me subliminal messages to make me think I am just as hot as they are or that my life is just as exciting…I don’t know. For the record, my life IS that exciting…right… But the fact remains that I follow their lives like it’s my job. And it’s pathetic. Moving on.

On this season premiere episode, we see just how boring Lo is and how badass Audrina can be. (“We will never be friends” SNNNNNAP! Five points to Gryffindor and Audrina!) Lo left Audrina’s birthday party at her own house to play with her dog upstairs for an hour. UM HELLO. There was a guy with a hot pink mohawk there–the party couldn’t have been that dull. Pink mohawks AND a pool. Why is that not my life?! WHY NOT MEEEEEE. I wonder if dye runs into the water when he swims. And poor Lauren, that girl is trying to hold it all together behind her bug-eyed sunglasses. I’m totally on team Lauren. But you won’t catch me dead or alive in a t-shirt that says so. They make t-shirts that say that and people buy them. I’m not making that up.

Justin Bobby is back in all of his creeptastic glory, and I must admit, he is weirdly sexy. Sexy ugly, perhaps. He’s the kind of guy that I would go out on one strained date with just so he could show me all the trendy L.A. jazz clubs or something weird like that, and then never answer his calls again but go to those clubs with my girlfriends from then on. Make sense?

Spencer, teevee’s least liked villain, is like the Debbie Downer of LIFE and not surprisingly still sucks. Heidi is still dumb, and has a marginally smarter sister on the show now too. Yippee, another cast member’s sibling trying to get airtime (cough Stephanie Pratt cough). If you missed this amazing 24 minutes of television goodness, have no fear–if it were possible MTV would put extra hours in the day just so they could replay the episode even more than they already are going to.

What happened to Heidi? That girl gets trashier looking every time we blink. Here is Heidi pre-rhinoplasty and boob job:

She was so pretty! But then she got kind of popular in her own right (add her to the list of celebrities that are famous for no reason) and went on this feminist rant of how she feels better about herself now that she got her nose and ta-tas done because people used to make fun of her. Heidi, people weren’t making fun of you because you had a big nose, they were making fun of you because you’re a RAGING IDIOT. But she wanted to look like L.A. Barbie.

Sick.

Here is a reason why I am on team Lauren. Lauren looked like L.A. Barbie when The Hills started (a.k.a she was 19 and trying to be hot) and has since matured and looks more natural. Classy, even.

See?

I told you I care too much. MTV you slay me.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | August 18, 2008 · 7:21 pm

hmm… what ever happened to t.A.T.u.?

So I was driving in the car today when a certain song came on my iPod. This song has been stuck in my head ever since, and I want to lovingly pass it off to you because that might make me feel better.

You’re welcome. HA! (If you’re too chicken to watch the video, it’s “All the Things She Said” by T.A.T.U.) It’s almost as bad as that M.I.A. “Paper Planes” song. Just as I was getting “Paper Planes” out of my head from hearing it every day towards the end of senior year, they go and put it as the promo song for “The Pineapple Express”. Thanks a lot, marketing geniuses/jerks.

Anyway, where did t.A.T.u., the kind of hot Russian are-they-or-aren’t-they-lesbians go? That whole kissing girls thing was totally their gig. And they made quite a blip on the pop culture scene. Because let’s face it, we were prudier back in 2002 than we are now. Here is how I remember the girls:

Girls kissing isn’t my thing, but rawr.

So imagine my surprise when I came across this:

Whoops! The gig is up, apparently! But that is one ballsy chick. Power to her, she’s rocking that prego belly.

Wikipedia tells me that the girls have a CD coming out in September. So they’re still around. And that they never were lesbians. WHATEVER.

It’s a slow news day people, give me a break.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | August 14, 2008 · 8:23 pm

bad writing can get you somewhere.

New Jersey correspondent Madeline has brought a delightful competition to my attention. Every year, San Jose State University holds its Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest–encouraging people to write their most painfully bad first line to an imaginary book. Why is it called Bulwer-Lytton, you ask? Because Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton (what a name!) is the literary mastermind behind the 1830 novel “Paul Clifford” that forever burdened us with “It was a dark and stormy night”. Thanks for that, Eddie. Let’s also thank this year’s winner, Garrison Spik, for his contribution to society:

Theirs was a New York love, a checkered taxi ride burning rubber, and like the city their passion was open 24/7, steam rising from their bodies like slick streets exhaling warm, moist, white breath through manhole covers stamped ‘Forged by DeLaney Bros., Piscataway, N.J.’

Haha, well done sir! You are a gentleman and a scholar. Here is another epic submission. This one comes from Beth Fand Incollingo:

Like a mechanic who forgets to wipe his hands on a shop rag and then goes home, hugs his wife, and gets a grease stain on her favorite sweater — love touches you, and marks you forever.

HAHA.

In my opinion, to win this competition you either have to be an incredibly corny and bad writer (read: a 13 year old girl…or boy) or a really good writer who knows bad writing (read: remembering your own writing when you were a 13 year old girl…or boy). And just for the record, Mr. Spik and Ms. Incollingo, I put you both in the good writer who knows bad writing category.

Feel free to comment with your best/worst first lines. No prizes, just the SWTCTW glory of being witty. Now I’m going to go reread my old journals in search for literary gems of my own.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | August 14, 2008 · 7:22 pm

we just can’t quit you, hillary.

As you might expect, there’s some news floating around in cyberspace today, so for you, dear readers, I have compiled a roundup:

  • Hillary Clinton’s name will be placed on the nomination at the DNC in Denver. Now, Obama’s okay with this (because he’s a perfect gentleman, duh), but it just doesn’t seem like a good idea to me. Sure, it is nice to “honor” Clinton’s campaign and all of her hard work, but might it be better to present a united front and “honor” the actual presumptive nominee? [Washington Post]
  • “According to an analysis of campaign contributions by the nonpartisan Center for Responsive Politics, Democrat Barack Obama has received nearly six times as much money from troops deployed overseas at the time of their contributions than has Republican John McCain, and the fiercely anti-war Ron Paul, though he suspended his campaign for the Republican nomination months ago, has received more than four times McCain’s haul.” Make your own conclusions, kids. [A bunch of other sources via Wonkette]
  • Streetcars are taking over the country, which is great, because they are good for the environment and make more people move downtown. Downtown Denver already has a free mall ride along 16th Street, and it’s basically a streetcar, and it’s pretty cool. Plus, it feeds my laziness. (Although I do still prefer pedicabs.) [NYTimes]
  • Jared Polis, an openly gay Boulder-ite, won the Democratic primary in Colorado to fill Representative Mark Udall’s Congress seat. “If Mr. Polis is elected to replace [Udall] in November, he would become the third openly gay or lesbian member of Congress.” Hooray for Colorado! You go, Jared! [NYTimes]
  • Last week, some crazo (who calls himself “Mr. Unstable”) took a bath in the utility sink at Burger King. To celebrate his birthday. I’m all for, er, cleanliness, but I tend to put a slightly different spin on the whole birthday celebration thing. Anyway, today the crazo apologized.  Luckily, as I’ve mentioned before, I prefer Wendy’s. [AOL]
  • Apparently the latest trend in eating disorders is “pregorexia,” in which women diet and exercise so much while pregnant that they actually put their baby’s health at risk. Seriously, people?! When I’m pregnant, you can expect to find me immobile on a couch eating as much Ben & Jerry’s and bacon as I can get my hands on. [AOL]
In other news, I’ve become addicted to Craigslist furniture sales. Just thought you should know. 

[Posted by Mallory]

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by | August 14, 2008 · 5:39 pm

youtube clip of today: pilobolus dance.

This will amaze you. Just watch.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | August 14, 2008 · 5:07 pm

julia child: she cooked, kicked ass.

Turns out Julia Child, the sweetest old lady I never actually met, was a freaking spy for the U.S. during World War II! That’s right, the lady that had the cooking show on PBS that used to come on after all of my favorite shows. Now when I screamed this exciting piece of news to my mother at the top of my lungs, she looked at me and said, “You knew that already! We learned that at the…” And then she launched into recounting our visit to the Julia Child exhibit at the Smithsonian American History museum a million years ago. Yes, we went to that. But I didn’t remember, so I’m still fired up.

According to the AP, there were 24,000 spies that made up the Office of Strategic Services–an early version of the CIA. And Julia wasn’t the only well known person on the list. Supreme Court Justice Arthur Goldberg, Chicago White Sox catcher Moe Berg, Teddy Roosevelt’s sons, the drummer for The Police’s dad (fact). There are others. And the records are being released today.

They were soldiers, actors, historians, lawyers, athletes, professors, reporters. But for several years during World War II, they were known simply as the OSS. They studied military plans, created propaganda, infiltrated enemy ranks and stirred resistance among foreign troops.

Heaven’s to Betsy! I don’t know if I should picture Julia as Bond infiltrating enemy ranks, or more like a Bond Girl baking poison pies for the Nazis. Haha. “Child, Julia Child. Shaken, not stirred, dear. That’s right. Now you add just a pinch of ginger and dress it with some freshly peeled lemon rind. Oh delicious!” If you’ve never heard her voice, I recommend YouTubing her right now. It sounds like Robin Williams doing Mrs. Doubtfire. Anyway, I bet she was more like a Jason Bourne. Rawr.

Whatever her role was, I’m extremely impressed. She did a lot with her life. And maybe all her spy training explains why she was so good with knives in the kitchen. Oh man, if J.C. was still alive, there would be no need for that Rachel Ray chick. Girl, she could have kicked your ass–in and out of the kitchen. And, if anyone important is reading this, I’d love to be a spy. Hint. Hint.

I bet she could have used this as a weapon to take down an entire brigade of Nazis:

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | August 13, 2008 · 10:42 pm

rad girls: definitely not the hills.

Picture the three craziest bitches you knew in college. Now picture them with their own TV show doing dumb shit. Tah-dah! Now you’ve got the Rad Girls. These girls are smokin’ hot, have no internal monologue and literally have no social constraints. The ladies, Ramona Cash, Darling Clementine and Munchie, are bona fide badasses. In fact, they are being hailed as the female Jackasses. Sorry for the obnoxious rhyming– it was unavoidable.

They hold a contest to see who can pee the most while traveling around in the back of a van (obviously, somebody’s bucket of pee is going to fall over and they even take things a step further. Click here if you dare. The peeing clip starts about three and a half minutes in), make out with old men (their parents must be thrilled), fart in people’s mouths (it must be because they’re hot, because who in all of God’s wholesome creation would allow that) and use animal feces for batting practice (best line: “ew! there’s poop in my hair!”). Anyway, they are wild, hot, crass and hysterical–and I kind of like them. Because let’s face it. At the end of the day, farting is still really funny.

This clip is mild…

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | August 13, 2008 · 4:16 pm

bigfoot’s big news? or big lies?

Two dudes are getting ready to pull off the biggest prank ever, or make a mockery of all of us non-freaks (kidding!) who laugh at the supermarket tabloids. In the tabloids’ defense, they did bring the John Edwards (I hope Jesse Jackson goes after him, if you know what I mean) affair to the attention of the mainstream media. Anyway, so Matthew Whitton (AKA Gary Parker…that’s what the Web site says. What does that mean?! That’s almost as mysterious as Bigfoot) and Rick Dyer found Bigfoot! They’ve got pictures and everything. And if anyone was to find it, I’m glad it was these guys because they dedicated their lives to it. Yes, they are like the Ghostbusters. Except they are Searching For Bigfoot, Inc. Seriously. And they found Bigfoot in the woods in Northern Georgia. Really, Bigfoot? Nothing against Georgia, but there are better woods in this country. Like….NEW HAMPSHIRE.

But I’d like to give some credit to George Lucas for this discovery.  Perhaps he saw Bigfoot years ago, and instead of turning him in, used him as a muse for Chewbacca.  I don’t know, just a thought.  They do look really similar…

I’d totally blow these guys off and make fun of them mercilessly, but they are having a press conference on Friday to present their evidence. They’ve got a body, and, in true CSI or other generic TV crime drama form, they will present DNA evidence. Gasp! DNA!? AWESOME. Anyway, you can read more about it here, or go to Searching For Bigfoot, Inc. (super duper tackytastic Web site)

What do you think? I just feel like this summer is so crazy. First the astronaut says there are aliens, then we have the Montauk monster. Now I need to go pick up a few tabloids. You never know, maybe Elvis is next.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | August 12, 2008 · 3:26 pm

youtube clip of today: barack roll

Ever been Rick rolled? That freaking song gets stuck in your head–but let’s face it, it’s kind of brilliant. Anyway, this video is flying around the internet right now. And I have to say, it’s impressive. Isn’t B a goofy dancer? Sigh.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | August 11, 2008 · 10:52 pm

may the force be with them.

Now I’ve seen it all. Yes, friends, that is a Star Wars themed wedding. The bride, Rebecca D’Madeiros, wore a stunning white, Mon Mothma dress, and the groom, Bill Duda, looked strapping as Admiral Ackbar. They were wed on a beautiful day in June, and were escorted by Imperial Storm Troopers. That is the truth. I am not making that up.

“The wedding was presided over by Yoda, who had secured his marriage licence off the internet in the weeks beforehand and the ringbearer was none over than Princess Leia, sporting her famous gold bikini.

Okay, WTF. And disclaimer, the typo (none over rather than none other) is theirs, not mine. Anyway, way to go upstage the bride, Leia. That’s not cool. If I was the bride, I would have had my bridesmaids all dressed as Chewbacca, just to ensure that I was the hottest one up there. And I’m not even going to discuss the Yoda online marriage license thing. Sketchy.

“It was a lot of fun – after all, it’s not everyday you get to be married by Yoda,” the groom said. Well put, sir. I don’t think anyone will disagree with you on that.

But power of the force to them, this wedding is unique. So congrats you two crazy Star Wars nerds. Mon Mothma, you may now kiss your strange looking alien husband. And if I was familiar enough with Star Wars, I’d make more nerdy jokes. But I’m not. Alicia, help me out? Just kidddddddding.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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