Category Archives: weird

dancing with the crooked, lying politician.

I should have written about this yesterday, but I didn’t.  So that’s that.  When I first heard about it, I thought it was a joke.  Former Congressman and Majority Leader Tom Delay is going to join the cast of “Dancing with the Stars”.  Perhaps the title should be changed to “Dancing with the Fallen Stars”.

Do you all remember Tom “The Hammer” Delay?  I’m a huge fan.  No, really, I am.  Do I disagree with pretty much all of his positions on the issues? You betcha. But I’m really a fan because he gave us one of the most classic and hilarious high profile mugshots EVER.  Smile, Hammer!

Stop... Hammer time!

Stop... Hammer time!

That smile really just lights up a room, doesn’t it?  He looks thrilled.

In case you were wondering, he earned the nickname “The Hammer” because he was particularly fierce as the Majority Whip (the person who gets the party to all vote the same way) for the Republicans in 1995.  He became the Majority Leader for the House of Reps  in 2003.  Then, all this stuff started happening. Perhaps there was a little violation of  campaign finance laws, perhaps a little perjury.  You know, no big deal.  Well, actually, he was indicted, but it still hasn’t come to trial yet.  Perhaps that will be part of his dramatic DWTS storyline?

So “The Hammer” will grace us with his dancing skillllllz.  He says he and his wife love to dance, and his daughter is a professional dancer.  When he was in Congress, Tommy was known for his outspoken opposition to the National Endowment for the Arts.  Just throwing that out there.

He will be joined by a bunch of other regular people who were once famous.  According to People:

The complete cast for Dancing Season Nine

Mya, singer
Melissa Joan Hart, actress
Michael Irvin, former Dallas Cowboy
Ashley Hamilton, actor, comedian, singer-songwriter
Aaron Carter, singer
Kathy Ireland, former supermodel-turned-businesswoman
Debi Mazar, actress
Natalie Coughlin, U.S. Olympic swimmer
Louie Vito, snowboarder
Chuck Liddell, ultimate fighting champ
Donny Osmond, singer
Tom DeLay, former Republican congressman
Macy Gray, singer
Joanna Krupa, model and actress
Mark Dacascos, Iron Chef personality
Kelly Osbourne, reality star

AARON CARTER?!  I’m watching this every week.  That is a completely serious statement.  And just because I can, I’m going to leave you with the a video of my other favorite dancing Hammer:

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under blogging, celebrities, dance, humor, music, news, politics, pop culture, random, the arts, thoughts, weird, YouTube

here’s your freaky friday grab bag.

I don't know what bothers me more, the mutiple !!! or the comic sans font.  Whatever, TGIF.

I don't know what bothers me more, the !!!! or the comic sans font. Whatever, TGIF.

It’s freaky Friday, y’all.  While only one of these stories is really freaky, it’s so freaky that it dominates the non-freaky stories.  Let’s just get to the point:

  • Amy Wolfe, a 33-year-old unemployed church organist, loves carnival rides.  Well, actually just one.  No, she doesn’t just love it.  She like LOVE LOVES it.  Amy is an objectum sexual, meaning she falls in love with inanimate objects.  No joke.  And soon, Amy and her love, named the 1001 Nacht, will be machine and wife.  She and it are getting married. (I felt weird saying “they”.)  She plans on taking the surname Weber, after Nachtie’s manufacturer.  I promise you I am not making this up!  Read the story the Jezzies have on it, it includes UNBELIEVABLE video.
  • This falls under the just plain dumb and hilarious column.  Dennis Cretton isn’t supposed to drive anymore.  After a DWI, his license was revoked.  Dennis found what he believed to be the solution to his troubles.  He decided to drive his lawnmower to the gas station to get beer.  Fortunately for the world (and unfortunately for our friend Dennis), the police got a call reporting a man drunkenly weaving in and out of traffic on a lawnmower.  According to the story on MSNBC, he tried speeding away from the cops, and drove up onto his lawn. (I wonder who mowed the rest of it?)  He spilled his case of Milwaukee’s Best and ran into his house.  Needless to say, he ended up in jail.

Have a wonderful weekend everybody! I hope your daily dose of weird was satisfying.  More and longer posts next week, I promise.  XOXO.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under blogging, drinks, education, news, pop culture, random, sex, thoughts, weddings, weird

youtube clip of today: attn #7.

If you don’t know about these already, I haven’t been doing my job.  And for that, I am sorry.  I find these to be HILARIOUS.  Here is the seventh installment of Auto-Tune the News.  Hopefully you find it half as funny as I do.  Oh, and below is the sixth installment, which is by far my favorite (Sarah Palin makes an appearance).  The rest can be viewed here!

[Posted by Kathleen]

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youtube clip of today: brilliant analysis.

Have a case of the Mondays?  Want to feel smart?  Watch this video.

We all know that California has some problems, but this woman has found the answers to them all.

Kids, say thank you to SWTCTW reader Tim, who sent in this gem.  Thanks, Tim!

[Posted by Kathleen]

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trina sues college…because she’s unemployed.

moneyTrina Thompson, like millions of Americans, is unemployed.  But instead of revamping her resume, or going to a job fair, she came up with a different idea.  She decided to sue her alma mater, Monroe College, for $70,000.  Seventy thousand dollars,  by the way, was the cost of her Bachelor’s Degree.  In other words, she wants her money back because she doesn’t have a job.

Trina, darling, it’s not the school’s fault you can’t get a job.  It probably isn’t your fault either.  Times are tough.  But wasting taxpayer dollars on a silly court case so you don’t have to continue looking for a job and living off settlement money is just ridiculous.

Recession sucks, but we’re going to get out of it.  Until then, Trina, do what the rest of us did– start a blog!

Read the story HERE.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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drug bust from her stuffed bust.

This has nothing to do with the post, I just thought it was hilarious.  And it's Friday.

This has nothing to do with the post, I just thought it was hilarious. And it's Friday.

Ahh, stuffing your bra.  It’s a rite of passage.  Most people use toilet paper (or something similar… not that I’d know) but a unnamed 37-year-old Georgia woman had a different plan.  She stuffed her bra with a pound of meth… worth about $13,000.

Okay, so maybe her intentions weren’t to make herself look bustier.  Perhaps her intentions were to hide the drugs after getting pulled over for a traffic violation.  I don’t know. (Lie. I do, in fact, know.)  Just speculating.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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benedict’s hot new single drops soon!

VATICAN POPE

The Prada wearing Pope is now doing what so many young stars are doing today– he’s recording an album.  No word yet on whether there will be collaborations with T-Pain, Ne-Yo, Rhianna or Carlos Santana, or if it’s produced by Timbaland, but definitely be ready for some hymns and prayers to the Virgin Mary.  From the story on MSNBC:

The pontiff’s as-yet-untitled album also includes eight original pieces of contemporary classical music, Geffen/Universal said.

The pope is accompanied by the Choir of the Philharmonic Academy of Rome, recorded in St. Peter’s Basilica in the Vatican. The original compositions are performed by the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra, recorded at London’s Abbey Road studios.

So maybe I poked fun at this (all in good fun, I promise), but unlike the musical efforts of Paris Hilton, the proceeds from PB XVI’s album are going to a good cause.  They will be used to bring the joy of music to underprivileged children around the world.  I can get behind that.

Benny’s album drops on Nov. 30.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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youtube clip of today: mattress dominoes.

I love the noises the people make as they get body slammed by a mattress.  There was one that reminded me of the infamous grape stomper’s “Owww oww oww”.  I laughed out loud.  All by myself.  Happy Friday!

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under blogging, definitely not politics, humor, pop culture, random, thoughts, weird, YouTube

oh girls, we keep getting prettier.

Good news, ladies!  From Britain’s Times Online…

For the female half of the population, it may bring a satisfied smile. Scientists have found that evolution is driving women to become ever more beautiful, while men remain as aesthetically unappealing as their caveman ancestors.

Absurdly pretty.

Absurdly pretty.

The reason, you ask?  Because pretty people have more babies than ugly ones.  And pretty people tend to have pretty babies.

And, according to this new study, the majority of those pretty babies are girls.  So those pretty baby girls turn into pretty women.  And that’s why we keep getting prettier. Duh.

In fact, University of Helsinki reasearcher Markus Jokela found that attractive women had up to 16 percent more babies.  Sixteen percent?!  What a random number.

In men, by contrast, good looks appear to count for little, with handsome men being no more successful than others in terms of numbers of children. This means there has been little pressure for men’s appearance to evolve.

Not pretty.

Not pretty.

And we all know they aren’t going to take the initiative.  I can just hear it now, “Honey, I want you to WANT to evolve!”

Read the whole story here.

And guys, even though you may continue to look (and act) like a bunch of cro-magnons, we still love you.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under animals, babies, blogging, education, history, humor, news, random, thoughts, weird

youtube clip of today: monkey man.

Ummmm… wow.  When I watched the Spiderman movies, I didn’t get any crazy ideas like that.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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