Monthly Archives: July 2008

twisters in the granite state. eek.

There were terrible storms, tornadoes and floods today in my home state of New Hampshire. While most of this was happening, I was happily perched on my couch with my trusty MacBook on my lap and Chinese Crested Hairless dog at my side, totally and utterly oblivious to the devastation–until I got frantic phone calls from my loved ones. “Are you okay?! Are you in the basement?!” Wait, what? Oh there’s a tornado you say? And it’s headed towards me?! My ignorance had been bliss as I was watching Project Runway and Shear Genius reruns and blogging away. And as much as I hate to admit it, I got a little scared.

I flipped on our news channel, WMUR, and sure enough, things were bad. Obviously the first thing that came to my mind was the movie Twister. If I can connect anything to a movie, song, or something political, count on it.

God, that movie is good. I can still feel the adrenaline rush from the first time I saw it, and I’ve seen it approximately 900 times since then. I had dreams of cruising around in an old van with Dusty (who makes my list of coolest fictional movie characters and is oddly attractive to me), singing and searching for twisters. Perhaps I, too, would get to see a cow casually go by. Ahh, good times. But as I was grabbing my dog and running to the basement it hit me: this movie romanticizes something that in real life is very scary.

The truth is, my experience was neither traumatic nor dramatic. After some time of hanging out in my cold and unfinished basement, things were fine. Sadly, people in the town of Epsom had a much harder time. I’m very fortunate, because the only thing I really have to talk about is a Helen Hunt and Bill Paxton movie. New Hampshire is in a state of emergency, so keep the state in your prayers. A lot of people need it. To read about it, click here. I feel very lucky right now.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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on bears, beets, and battlestar galactica.

You people may not know this, but I am an extremely mature human being. (Perhaps you gathered that from my previous posts.) In fact, I am so mature that last night I went out and had only ONE glass of wine! This is historic! Sure, I may have also eaten Smartfood for not one but two meals earlier that day, and maybe I stole the wine I was drinking from my mom, and maybe I drank my glass of wine while trying to one-up my new Denver friends with fratty college stories, but that is beside the point. And the point is, I drank in moderation and then went to work the next day. Which means I am basically an adult.

Speaking of work, guess what I did today? I know what you’re thinking, but I didn’t get a chance to end the war in Iraq or invent a kind of cheese that doesn’t make you fat (there’s always tomorrow). I did, however, get to stuff checks into envelopes for nearly six hours. The thing is, I was REALLY good at stuffing the checks into the envelopes. I don’t mean to brag, but other people actually complimented me on my speed. Just saying. Perhaps I’ll nix the grad school plan and find a way to use my envelope-stuffing skills full time.

Anyway, here’s a photo of my coworker and me taking a break:

In other news, it’s almost Friday! YAY!

[Posted by Mallory]

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youtube clip of today: magic hands.

This video is just cool. I cannot make a hand shadow puppet that looks like anything other than a creature with a big mouth and huge eyes. It resembles no real animal, but it’s all I got. But whoever did this is amazing, and probably has even more time on their hands than I do.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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richard simmons: sweatin’ to the congress?

Here is a delightful thought for your Thursday afternoon! Fitness master and supreme god of the tacky workout videos Richard Simmons alluded to his dreams of someday being a member of the US Congress. He’s already at the Capitol–today he testified to the House Education and Labor Committee about childhood obesity. Here is what went down. This, of course, comes from CNN’s Political Ticker.

In a half-serious, half-jocular tone, Simmons described his approach to the hearing, saying, “I want to have the respect of a congressman, I want to talk like a congressman, and maybe, someday, I’ll be a congressman.”

But you already have our respect RS! People don’t respect congressmen and women that much. In fact, they are the least liked branch of government! I bet more people watch your workout videos (god love them) than C-SPAN. Then, he cited Jesse Ventura as an example of celebrity-gone-politician. Just me, but if I was going to make a case for that, I don’t think I would use “The Body” as my example. Maybe Ronald Reagan? Whatev. He continued,

“After this congressional hearing, I will go home,” Simmons said, “I will talk with my Dalmatian dogs, I will pray to God and then I’ll see what else I can do to help.”

He would have dalmatians. And he would talk to them.

I personally think it would be kind of fun to have him in the House, as long as he’s right on with his policy and votes the way I want him to. Haha. I mean, this man has made millions of middle-aged people get off the couch and sweat to oldies, all while prancing around saying “I’m a pony! I’m a pony!” in short shorts. If elected, do you think he would wear a suit? The idea of Richard Simmons in anything other than shorts shorts just seems…unethical. That aside, just think of all the things he could inspire his fellow members of Congress to do! To prove how Richie can move mountains, I found a youtube video of his epic workout tapes, but somebody updated it and put it to the greatest song ever recorded–“Walk It Out” by DJ Unk. Haha. Anyway, enjoy. And in the great words of JFK, ask not what your country can do for you, but what Richard Simmons can do for your country.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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meet the fuwa: fugly olympic mascots.

Politics of it aside, I totally have Olympic fever (obvious, I know.) And for some bizarre reason, the mascot of each Olympic games is a huge deal. The only mascot I ever remember is from the Atlanta games, because it was just that ugly. Also, I was interviewed on the streets of Philly by the local news and asked to describe it. At the tender age of 10, I oh-so-eloquently described it as a “deformed duck”. Blame it on my youth, but at the time I neglected to call it what it most closely resembled–a Fresh Prince of Bel-Air styled big blue slug. I feel it is important to note that it was also referred to as “sperm in sneakers”. I snickered at that one. Here is Izzy, world’s fugliest Olympic mascot:

The name Izzy, by the way, comes from “Whatizit?”. Haha. How 90s (read: tacky/lame/awesome/those shoes) is that?

Anyway, the Wall Street Journal (which I usually never read, by the way. Too business like and boring. But it was about the Olympics, so…) had an interesting piece yesterday about the Beijing Games’ Mascots. All five of them. So these monsters are called the Fuwa. But I’m just going to say it now because it needs to be said and it is so painfully obvious: THEY LOOK LIKE FREAKING POKEMON. Here they are, gotta catch ’em all!:

According to the artist, who is not feeling so good about his work, these are children–with animal qualities. On which planet, buddy? Because the second one looks legit straight up panda to me. I bet the other children at school make fun of him. And force him to eat bamboo. Oh, and what in god’s name is the yellow one, you ask? A golden lucifer? Beijing Olympic Mr. Tumnus, perhaps? Well, duh, it’s a Tibetan antelope. But wait a second…aren’t Tibet and China in some sort of political conflict? And I thought antelopes were in Africa? Nah, nevermind.

So what do you think of these? Will you collect them all? And how pumped are you for the Olympics? By the way, the start date is August 8, 2008. Or, more cleverly and easily marketed, 08.08.08. Nice.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under random, sports, Uncategorized

it kinda paid off for monica.

Ah, don’t you love Stuff White People Like? Ol’ Christian Landers doesn’t post new entries very often, but when he does, I read, I laugh, I sigh and realize that I’m totally that white person he’s writing about. His latest entry, #105, is about unpaid internships:

White people view the internship as their foot into the door to such high-profile low-paying career fields as journalism, film, politics, art, non-profits, and anything associated with a museum. Any white person who takes an internship outside of these industries is either the wrong type of white person or a law student. There are no exceptions.

Last summer I turned down a full-time business-y job that would have paid me so that I could work part-time at a non-profit that could barely pay its employees, let alone its interns. Also, I was hoping to make my father even more irritated with me by continuing to make no money. Ever. It worked.

[Posted by Mallory]

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oh, the power of group think.

Sometimes, when you give a bunch of girls lots of wine and peach vodka, you can make them all do this:

Happy Hump Day (Cry Face), kids!

[Posted by Mallory]

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everyone deserves music. and ice water.

As Kathleen mentioned, we are very sorry for being so delinquent the past few days. It may not seem like it, but blogging is stressful! Sometimes you just don’t want to blog, but then your millions of fans (or your sister) are all “Heeey why no blogging the past few days?? I’m angry! Write more!”

The reason for my lack of blogging is that I had a visitor this past weekend and was out actually living my life. Exciting, right? (I was extremely proud of myself for not looking at the blog for a full three days…normally I can’t last three minutes). My friend Katie was visiting from Maine, so we were running around doing lots of fun things. Most notably, we attended the Mile High Music Festival, which was absolutely amazing but also absolutely exhausting. Sitting out for hours in 95 degree heat is not exactly relaxing.

The first day of the concert, Kelsey, my sister Maddy, Katie, and I came — we thought — well-prepared, with snacks, flasks hidden under our dresses, and plenty of water. We didn’t consider the fact that water warms up pretty quickly when it has no ice in it, and so by about 2:00 p.m., our water was a few degrees away from boiling. From 3:00 to 4:00, I actually thought I might die. I was sort of limping from stage to stage, clutching my throat, and begging every beer man I saw for some of the ice that was keeping the beers cold. (“Please sir! Can I have some ice?!”)

Though my martyrdom was reaching epic proportions, I was aware that I wasn’t the only one at the concert who was dying of heat. It was very entertaining to see people fighting for the tiniest amounts of shade in the strangest of places: under a large pole, behind a row of porta-potties, beside a trash can, etc. People were getting desperate, man.

Luckily, things cooled off by about 5:00, and then everyone stepped away from the porta-potties, regained their senses, and focused on the music. It was about this time that we were upgraded to VIP tickets, which means we got free beer and wine, free food, a nice cool tent to sit in, and shuttle rides from stage to stage. Baaaaaller. Then we got to see Spoon, which got us all going (read: dancing like crazy, unashamed hippies). It was Michael Franti and Spearhead, however, that made the weekend for me.

Now, I’m not a huge Michael Franti fan. It’s not that I don’t like him; I just don’t know a lot of his stuff. But Katie, being the best fake hippie among us, wanted us all to go, and we obliged. His show was awesome. He had that intangible thing that only a few artists have that makes a concert truly kickass, whether or not you know the music. He had everyone in the crowd dancing like maniacs, and he was clearly having a great time, which makes a huge difference. After his performance, we were all blissfully happy and more or less remained that way for the rest of the weekend.

I won’t go through every single performance we saw over the course of the weekend (that could take a while), but let’s talk about John Mayer for a second.

The entire festival was extremely well-organized, and as part of that, all of the artists were very punctual. They started and ended exactly when they were supposed to, every time. So we’re all lounging around waiting for John Mayer to come on at 6:00 on Sunday, and at 5:30 people start cheering. We stand up and see that some dude has taken the stage and has begun to sing “Start Me Up.” We were confused. Our conversation went a little something like this:

“Wait, that can’t be John Mayer.”

“Yeah, why would he start so early?”

“And why would he be wearing a tank top?”

“And why would he open with a cover?”

“And since when is his entire left arm tattooed?”

“It must just be some random filler guy that they put onstage to kill time.”

“It really sounds like John Mayer, though.”

“Oh my god, is he wearing CAPRIS?”

The stranger onstage was, indeed, John Mayer, and he was, indeed, wearing a tank top, manpris, and black tennis shoes. Ouch. Other than the frightening wardrobe choice (where’s the womanly influence, Jen?), he was looking pretty good. Especially when he took his shirt off for the last song (sure, it was a little unnecessary, but who am I to complain?):

John, have you been working out?

Anyway…the concert was fabulous and you should all come next year. We’ll have a special SWTCTW section, with lots of ice and Coors Light.

Before I wrap this up, I have to recognize the two MVP’s of the concert. First, Mr. Michael Franti for reasons stated above:

Okay one more of him, courtesy of Katie, just because these are cool photos:

The second MVP award goes to Dave Matthews’ drummer, Carter Beauford, for being the jolliest human I have ever seen:

Carter, I dig you.

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under adventures, blogging, celebrities, crushes, dance, music

now that’s a fine looking mustache.

Before I say anything at all let me get this out of the way: it’s been awhile since we’ve posted–we know, and now we’re back. Hooray! Alright. Down to business. Because this is important.

One thing that has always puzzled me about men is how they handle the issue of facial hair. To them, it’s a serious matter. I remember after high school graduation (I went to Catholic school, and the boys had to be clean shaven) every boy tried to grow a goatee. Some succeeded, most failed. But they all talked about it, whether it was peach fuzz or a freaking forest.

The goatee seems to be the baby step and primer to the ultimate manly facial hair goal-a nice full beard. Rawr. But what about the mustache? Is that the in between? It is so mysterious. It can be very serious or anything but. There are so many different types- from the handle bar to the Super Mario to the “molestache” to the Tom Selleck. All are intriguing.

So I found this slideshow absolutely delightful! It is a collection of the best sports mustaches. The virile combination of sports and facial hair. It doesn’t get any better than this. Good morning! Oh, and if you can bring any clarity to the facial hair thing, please let me know.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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baa ram ewe. army be true.

Remember how I said I was a thrice failed vegetarian? Besides burgers (mmm…), the other reason for my failure, and I am not joking in the slightest, is the movie Babe. Remember? The one with the amazingly cute little pig? If not, I suggest you Netflix that right now. Alas, I wish I was going to continue talking about Babe (which I Google Image searched and did not get what I was looking for…until I put “the pig” after it. Eeek! Haha.). Instead, I’m going to rant a tad.

Anyway, if a fictional story about a pig could inspire me to give up meat for over a year, imagine my reaction to this news story: the Army is using pigs as test dummies, shooting at them and then treating their wounds as practice for the field. That’s just cruel! They, of course, say there will be vets around to treat the animals. But they are shooting them with M4 carbines and M16 rifles–I don’t think I could survive that.

But the spokesman for the 25th Infantry Division told us that everything is fine, because the pigs are anesthetized. Oh, that’s great. Make these poor creatures dumb with drugs and then shoot at them. Come on!

One soldier got upset and then anonymously notified PETA. I think that takes a strong person.

Kathy Guillermo, director of PETA’s Laboratory Investigations Department said, “shooting and maiming pigs is outdated as Civil War rifles.” Fact. I do, however, know one Civil War reenactor–and he might take offense to that statement. Sorry!

We can’t condemn other nations for human and animal rights violations and then turn around and do something like this. I recognize the need to make our military as strong as can be, but with all the technology and money in the Department of Defense budget (the highest EVER), don’t you think they could come up with a different method? Apparently there are “hi-tech human simulators” out there. Use them.

You know how Farmer Hoggett says to Babe, “that’ll do, Pig. That’ll do,” at the end of the day? Well, I think “that’ll do, hi-tech human simulator. That’ll do,” flows just as nicely.

And here are a couple of pictures. Just to make your hearts as sappy as my own.

[Posted by Kathleen}

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