Dear Jada and Will,
Ever since Nelson Mandela’s birthday party where you both looked consistently smashing and seemed really cute and fun and respectful, I’ve been thinking a lot about how much I like you two. Maybe it’s because Jada’s really short, and Will’s pretty tall, and I’ve always thought that made for a cute — if somewhat hard to imagine, er, logistically — couple. Also, Will, Big Willie Style has brought me joy for many, many years, and I will never think of Miami without thinking of you. Plus, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air was pretty great. I’ll probably never see Hancock, but in your defense, I’ve heard it’s not as bad as it looks.
Jada, I maaaybe used to think you were Halle Barry, but you’re great too. Reign Over Me wins the award for making me cry longer and harder than any other movie I’ve ever seen, and that’s no easy feat. I also love how cute and tiny you are. As my idols over at GFY pointed out, you looked so adorable with your hubby at the Hancock premiere:
Even though Wikipedia tells me that Will was married before you came along, Jada, I’d like to imagine that you two crazy kids have been together forever. Either way, you’ve got a little over a decade under your marital belt, and I dig that. Plus, your kids are so adorable it should be illegal:
There is one little thing, though, guys. You apparently funded a Scientology school and are being kind of secretive about it. Now I’m all for education, but Scientology creeps me out. The Fox News article linked above tells me that this school, New Village Academy, “plans to use some teaching methods developed within the Church of Scientology and has hired a team of Scientologists to put them into action.” But there’s no mention on the school’s website that it has any affiliation with the Church of Scientology. That’s not cool.
I’m surprised, because Will, you’ve never publicly said you’re a Scientologist, and you’ve said some pretty intelligent things about religion:
In December, interviewed on “Access Hollywood,” Smith said of his Scientology connection: “I was introduced [to] it by Tom [Cruise], and I’m a student of world religion. I was raised in a Baptist household, I went to a Catholic school, but the ideas of the Bible are 98 percent the same ideas of Scientology, 98 percent the same ideas of Hinduism and Buddhism.”
I’m all for that attitude, but I’m bummed that you’re not being forthright about New Village Academy’s religious affiliation. Maybe you could work on being a little more honest there. Because other than this little slip up, you and Jada seem perfect. Anytime you need a babysitter, you know where to find me.
Cheers,
Mallory
[Posted by Mallory]
six words to change the world. 
jesse jackson: that’s not cool, dude.
So as some of you might have heard, Jesse Jackson messed up. On Fox News, of all places! He said something not so nice about my boy, Barack Obama. And like my mommy (and everyone else’s) says, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all–especially when you there is a microphone attached to your body. He was getting ready to address B’s speeches to black people and said “I wanna cut his nuts out.” Ouch? Bad move, Jesse! I’m feeling very protective of my presumptive Democratic nominee (and his you know whats), and I might hold a grudge.
But who would say “I want to cut his nuts out”? Wouldn’t the phrase be “I want to cut his nuts OFF”? The good reverend is getting a little too graphic for my taste and mixing up his idioms. Plus, they only do stuff like that in Louisiana, under Gov. Bobby Jindal. Jindal signed a bill allowing chemical castration for sex offenders…but that’s a different story. And he’s on the short list for McCain’s veep spot. Ahem.
Anyway, of course Jackson apologized with some BS statement, and of course, Saint Barack was gracious and accepted the apology. What troubles me the most about this is the lack of unity that’s going on. Rev. Jesse Jackson and Sen. Barack Obama might not be on the same page about everything, but they are on most things. It’s like women who say they won’t vote for Barack because Hillary lost. So what, you’re going to vote for McCain now? The McCain that voted against ensuring equal pay rights to women? The McCain that voted against funding for victims of domestic violence? The McCain that is wrong about women’s health issues. And finally, the McCain that called his wife a cunt? Haha, I LOVE to bring that one up. Small differences (like in the case of jilted Hillary voters, a chromosome) aren’t enough of a reason to give up on the overall vision.
Right now, and I’m sad that Jesse Jackson can’t see this, the election is not about black and white. Not to sound corny, but it’s about all of America. Rev. Al Sharpton agrees with me. Barack “is running for president of all Americans, not just African-Americans,” he said. We “must be careful not to segregate Senator Obama and impose some litmus test that is unfair and unproductive.” Well put, sir.
I don’t think that B would ever talk down to black people, and I don’t think that he’s trying to “talk white” (as Ralph Nader accused him of. Shut up, Ralphie, you silly boy). It’s just not in his nature. He walks on water and saves the free world in his free time! Come on, people!
So I’m sorry Rev. Jackson! Oooh! Barack is FOR REAL. (My apologies, that was wretched but I couldn’t help it.)
Here is the video, I know you wanted to see it.
[Posted by Kathleen]
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